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#90989 11/10/12 09:29 AM
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bobbart Offline OP
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Comments here please.

Bob

#90990 11/10/12 12:08 PM
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Bob! You're back!
party

I really enjoyed your summary of Clark's feelings towards Lois. You put words to that 'look' on his face that we saw during Lois's dance of the seven veils.

At this

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Clark had kissed Lois when he’d almost left Metropolis during the heat wave. That time she’d been too in shock and hadn’t really returned the kiss. This... This was magical. Kissing Lois - really kissing her, with her whole-heartedly kissing him back, was everything he’d always dreamed.

After the most wonderful few minutes imaginable, Lois pulled back again. This time her face was aglow with happiness. “I love you, Clark.”

The absolute truth made his response too easy. “I love you, Lois.”
I was thinking, 'Really? Already? This is *too* easy.'

At this
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Her responding smile was truly dazzling. Then she pulled herself up against him in a hug that conveyed her emotion. Clark suddenly became aware of Lois’s bare breasts pressed against his chest.

Earlier Lois had been kissing his neck, but now she had worked her way up to his ear. “Make love to me,” she whispered. Deep in the back of his mind, a quiet voice told him that when Lois’s normal personality returned, he would lose his love forever. But in that moment, with so much of Lois’s bare skin pressed against his, Clark ignored that voice and cooperated with the inevitable.
I knew ... Trouble is coming.

I'm looking forward to it. Great to have you back, Bob.

Corrina.

#90991 11/10/12 04:52 PM
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He didn’t have to see anything to tell him that he wasn’t alone. He knew that even before he’d opened his eyes. The warm body pressed up against his made that fact impossible to miss.
Hopefully this is Lois next to him.

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he hadn’t dated seriously in high school or college,
Less connection with Lana than according to some theories it seems.

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and had never allowed a situation with a woman get to the point
I think that should be "with a women to get to the"

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However, from the moment he’d met Lois Lane, Clark had known that his previous rules for female relationships were about to be thrown out.
Thus his mentioning ignoring all the rules when you love someone to her while they were tied up by Toni Baines.


John Pack Lambert
#90992 11/10/12 04:59 PM
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Oh, Bob, I love your stuff. smile I'm going to regret reading this first chapter because the wait for the next one (and the next, and then next ...) is going to kill me, but it's a good way to die. wink

You've set this up very believably. Obviously trouble is coming and I'm guessing Lois isn't going to be very happy with him in the morning peep but she really does a good job of convincing him that she's telling the truth. Here's hoping that once she remembers everything she said, she'll realize the truth will set them both free. smile

More, please!

Kathy

#90993 11/10/12 05:18 PM
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Now, with Lois asleep beside him, the puzzle that was their relationship had taken on a whole new level of complexity.
Well, at least it is Lois.

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but in the early evening she’d shown up in his apartment and tried to seduce him with the dance of the seven veils.
Tried? Then why is she in his bed?

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Finally, Clark had given in and they had moved to his bed. He’d only gone along with this because he’d been successful in getting Lois to change clothes into a set of sweats.
Oh, so this is not post-seduction in bed together.

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The only clothes she’d brought were a trench coat and her seven-veil costume.
Neither of which is something you want to sleep in.

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They’d settled into bed with him under the sheets in sleep-shorts and a t-shirt. She’d been on top of the covers in the sweats.
He should have waited for her to fall asleep and then snuck to the couch.

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Lois wasn’t where he’d left her. She was under the covers and pressed up against him. And worse, at least from the perspective of his resisting the advances of his extremely attractive partner, she’d managed to discard the sweats he’d provided.
Wait, does this mean she is without clothing?

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She’d also found a way to remove his t-shirt without him waking up.
Well, at least she did not take off his shorts.

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This meant that they were in bed with the two of them pressed together bare skin to bare skin.
Even if he doesn't do anything at this point, will Lois ever believe such?

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The feeling was unbelievable… and terrifying. He needed to end this now.
He really is Superman if he is still trying to get out of this situation.

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She sat up on the side of the bed. She wasn’t smiling any more. “I know what you’re saying,” she said in the saddest voice Clark had ever heard from her. “I’ve been here before. I thought you were the one man that liked me.”
Oh no, the hate engendered by Claude is clouding things.

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“You’re the most beautiful and desirable woman I’ve ever met.”

“You’re just saying that,” she said dejectedly, looking at the floor.
He is doomed no matter what. If he does not act Lois will think he hates her, if he does she will accuse him of taking advantage of her.

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“Lois, this isn’t you. Just a few days ago I’m sure you didn’t love me.”

“I wasn't thinking straight,” she countered.
This is getting harder to resist.

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“Probably. But whatever happened didn’t change anything. It just made me realize how much I wanted to tell you about how I feel.”

“What are you saying?” Clark asked, suddenly even more confused.

Lois was continuing to kiss his neck and shoulder. “I’ve been pretending you didn’t matter for a long time. I don’t want to pretend anymore. I want to love you.”
Now Clark just has to hope that Lois still thinks this way when she wakes up in the morning.

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“Think about it. Before yesterday you weren’t even attracted to me.”

“That’s not true,” Lois said softly. “I started liking you right from the beginning. Then I started respecting you when tricked me after I stole your story. Then when we were working on the cyborg boxers story, I learned that I could trust you. It was in Smallville, when we had so much fun, and you almost died, that I realized how important you are to me. And when you almost left Metropolis during the heat wave, I realized that I loved you.”
This is really hard to reason against. It is probably still possible to reason out of this, but with Lois throwing herself at Clark and so emotionally high strung, it will be very hard.

Well, I have to say that Clark giving in is entriely understanable. Lois made it clear this was not just a result of the perfume.

Still, I doubt Lois will feel the same way about things in the morning.


John Pack Lambert
#90994 11/10/12 06:32 PM
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Welcome back Bob,

It's been a while.

Very nice take on PML. I hadn't expected it based on the title.

Lois has really managed to back him into a corner. He's damned if be does and he's damned if be doesn't so he might as well.

Can't wait to see how you work this out.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
#90995 11/10/12 07:00 PM
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Oh, poor Clark. Beautiful woman with whom he's in love just convinced him that she's in love with him too. I can't see this ending well (well, at least when she wakes up the next morning). She's going to be mad. Clark's going to hate himself for falling for a convincingly drugged Lois seducing him.

This re-write might have been done, but with some of us, you can never re-write PML too many times. clap


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
#90996 11/10/12 07:44 PM
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bobbart Offline OP
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Chapter 1 Feedback:

As I explained to Morgana during beta, one of the main “hooks” that I’m hanging this on is from the episode. Remember that the next morning Clark had a “take me I’m yours” moment. Based on that, I believe it is reasonable that if Lois had continue to push, especially if she stopped acting crazy, he would have gone over the edge and something like this would have happened.

Corrina:
It’s nice to be back. It is my intent to be around a lot more this year.
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I was thinking, 'Really? Already? This is *too* easy.'
As we all know, anything that looks too good to be true usually is. smile

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I knew ... Trouble is coming.
Yes, well, just wait…

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I'm looking forward to it. Great to have you back, Bob.
Thank you so much. And thank you for the comments.


Hi, John.
You’re new since I posted my last story so let me wish you a belated welcome to the boards. I hope you have enjoyed your experience and I hope you enjoy all the stories.
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Less connection with Lana than according to some theories it seems.
I didn’t think there was that much evidence that Clark and Lana were really that close. We know that Alt-Clark got engaged to Lana, but based on the actual evidence from the series, I think my interpretation is close enough to be reasonable.

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I think that should be "with a women to get to the"
I re-read that passage and, to be honest, I like the way it feels. More importantly, The Fabulous Beverly said that it looks okay to her. However, I concede that proper grammar and sentence structure is NOT my strong point. I have some skill as a storyteller, but I find English grammar far more challenging than quantum mechanics.

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Oh, so this is not post-seduction in bed together.
smile No, not yet…

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Wait, does this mean she is without clothing?
Yep.

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Well, at least she did not take off his shorts.
smile Maybe if he’d slept a little longer. smile

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This is really hard to reason against. It is probably still possible to reason out of this, but with Lois throwing herself at Clark and so emotionally high strung, it will be very hard.

Well, I have to say that Clark giving in is entriely understanable. Lois made it clear this was not just a result of the perfume.

Still, I doubt Lois will feel the same way about things in the morning.
Exactly! I re-watched the episode for this story. For most of the time she was trying to seduce Clark, she was so clearly out of her right mind that resistance was reasonably easy. But if she had been more thoughtful and serious, would Clark have stood a chance? As for what Lois will think in the morning… well, I hope you’ll be back for part 2.

Thanks you for your thoughtful feedback. I hope you enjoy the story.


Kathy:
I’m so happy that you decided to break your usual reading rule to give this a chance. I promise that there will be no extended delays in posting. For this story I have gone back to my practice of finishing the first pass before I start posting. I wrote “The End” nearly a week ago and am in final beta now. I can guarantee that all the parts will be posted before Thanksgiving.

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You've set this up very believably. Obviously trouble is coming and I'm guessing Lois isn't going to be very happy with him in the morning but she really does a good job of convincing him that she's telling the truth.
Thank you. As I said to John, I thought Clark had too easy a time in the episode. What would have happened if Lois had been coherent enough to make a real pitch for his affection? Then, if he rejected her and she took that as a deeply personal rejection, would he still have managed to say no? Obviously, I think not. smile


Hi, Ken.
Thanks for the welcome. It’s nice to be back.

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Very nice take on PML. I hadn't expected it based on the title.
Ah, yes, the title. Hopefully the meaning of the title will become clear.

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Lois has really managed to back him into a corner. He's damned if be does and he's damned if be doesn't so he might as well.

Can't wait to see how you work this out.
Per my notes above, yes, she put him in an impossible situation. As for how they work it out, well, it complicated. smile

Thanks for the note.


Virginia:
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This re-write might have been done, but with some of us, you can never re-write PML too many times.
“There are no old stories, Lois, just new angles.” - Clark to Lois at the start of Strange Visitor.
I hope that this proves to be a new enough angle to prove interesting. Thanks for the note.


Thank you all. I plan to have chapter 2 up some time on Monday.

Bob

#90997 11/11/12 01:50 AM
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Uh oh. He should have continued to listen to his inner voice.

I am especially intrigued by how you will handle this story. I had had a similar premise in my mind for quite a while, but I could never come up with a satisfactory ending. That is, I didn't see how they'd be able to recover from what is from Lois' post-pheromoned perspective, in essence and in my version of the story at least, a rape, given that Lois is not in her right mind. Then again, in my story, Lois hadn't already been in love with Clark. I'm eager to see whether she really is in love with Clark in your story or whether that was the pheromones talking. Either way, things are already interesting for me and they're going to get interesting for Clark real soon... Well done!

Could you give us a hint about your posting schedule?

Joy,
Lynn

edit: I read the FDK thread after I posted my feedback. I see you already gave us a couple of hints. (Next post by Monday, entire story by Thanksgiving.) Are you planning for an EOD posting schedule? Thanks, Lynn

#90998 11/11/12 03:02 AM
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It is very good to have you returning to the roost. It was a pleasure betaing this gem of a story. It came during a very trying period and provided a much needed laugh.


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
#90999 11/11/12 10:23 AM
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I didn’t think there was that much evidence that Clark and Lana were really that close. We know that Alt-Clark got engaged to Lana, but based on the actual evidence from the series, I think my interpretation is close enough to be reasonable.
Oh, it is totally reasonable. Most of the lots of connection with Lana pieces I can think of a clearly altered from canon.

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Well, at least she did not take off his shorts.
smile Maybe if he’d slept a little longer. smile
But she is asleep now, so how does that work? Does she periodically wake up and take off more items of clothing each time?

Quote
Exactly! I re-watched the episode for this story. For most of the time she was trying to seduce Clark, she was so clearly out of her right mind that resistance was reasonably easy. But if she had been more thoughtful and serious, would Clark have stood a chance? As for what Lois will think in the morning… well, I hope you’ll be back for part 2.
Well, since Clark offers himself to her in one seen, I don't think he really stood a chance at all. They say it lasts 48 hours, but it does not seem like it has been 48 hours at that point. Hmm, I always figured she really should not have recovered yet at that point. Oh no, I have an idea for a story.


John Pack Lambert
#91000 11/11/12 01:41 PM
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Lynn:
Quote
I had had a similar premise in my mind for quite a while, but I could never come up with a satisfactory ending. That is, I didn't see how they'd be able to recover from what is from Lois' post-pheromoned perspective, in essence and in my version of the story at least, a rape, given that Lois is not in her right mind.
I understand exactly what you mean. If Clark - or anyone - would have simply taken advantage of the situation, then rape is not too strong a term. Even the situation I created is awfully close to that line.
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Could you give us a hint about your posting schedule?
The tentative schedule is EOD. (I actually said this in the header for Chapter 1.)

Morgana:
Thank you. I hope the story proves itself.

John:
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But she is asleep now, so how does that work? Does she periodically wake up and take off more items of clothing each time?
smile1 I wish I would have thought to write that! smile1


Bob

#91001 11/11/12 02:43 PM
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The tentative schedule is EOD.
smile1

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(I actually said this in the header for Chapter 1.)
blush Oops. I guess I was so eager to delve into a new Bob-fic that I must have blipped over that part. blush

Joy,
Lynn

#91002 11/22/12 09:42 AM
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wave Michael


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#91003 11/24/12 03:45 PM
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Lynn:
Quote
The tentative schedule is EOD.
I was actually able to maintain an average of 36 hours per part. Given the details of the story, that was my real goal. smile


Michael:
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Will get to actual FDK over the next week or two
No worries. thumbsup I hope you enjoy it.


Bob

#91004 11/25/12 09:48 AM
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No worries. [Thumbsup] I hope you enjoy it.
Yep. It’s been a wild ride drool

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Now, with Lois asleep beside him, the puzzle that was their relationship had taken on a whole new level of complexity.
So, not as simple as inserting Tab A into Slot B, then?

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Even worse, she had put so much energy into her seduction attempts that it was clear to Clark that she was on the verge of collapse.
Awwwww

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Not surprisingly, she’d been very cooperative when he suggested that she sleep in his bed.
wave Michael


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#91005 11/25/12 08:11 PM
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Michael:
Quote
So, not as simple as inserting Tab A into Slot B, then?
Well, when you put it that way… blush

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Wouldn’t the other way around have been more gentlemanly?
You know, I actually thought about that. By having her on top of the covers, she should have been motivated to keep more clothes on. It was a futile calculation, but this was a lose-lose (or win – win depending on your perspective.)

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How did she manage *that* feat?
How about:
1. Clark was very tired from resisting her all evening.
2. He was having these erotic dreams and thought that was just part of the dream.
3. He’s felt something but kept hoping that if he ignored it, it would go away.
smile1
Bob

#91006 12/01/12 04:24 AM
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Well, when you put it that way… [Embarrassed]
laugh

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You know, I actually thought about that. By having her on top of the covers, she should have been motivated to keep more clothes on. It was a futile calculation, but this was a lose-lose (or win – win depending on your perspective.)
Nice one!

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3. He’s felt something but kept hoping that if he ignored it, it would go away.
Oooooh!

Rest of the FDK is on its way. Got to catch up on some BR and stuff first though blush

wave Michael


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