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#84341 01/06/12 08:49 AM
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<hides behind a wall because of the way she left the chapter>

peep


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

#84342 01/06/12 03:45 PM
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Kerth
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shock

OH NO!!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!

Why leave it at that?! You just... just stabbed him and quit! Poor form!

Going crazy waiting for more! jump


Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
#84343 01/06/12 04:54 PM
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Quote
Originally posted by Mouserocks:
shock

OH NO!!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!

Why leave it at that?! You just... just stabbed him and quit! Poor form!

Going crazy waiting for more! jump
devil Why? Because I am evil. devil

Trust me, there's more to come with poor Clark getting stabbed in the next chapter. Mostly because I am evil.


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

#84344 01/06/12 05:10 PM
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Kerth
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Quote
Originally posted by Deadly Chakram:
Quote
Originally posted by Mouserocks:
[b] shock

OH NO!!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!

Why leave it at that?! You just... just stabbed him and quit! Poor form!

Going crazy waiting for more! jump
devil Why? Because I am evil. devil

Trust me, there's more to come with poor Clark getting stabbed in the next chapter. Mostly because I am evil. [/b]
I can appreciate evilness, but I appreciate it better when there's more to read and quick... :p


Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
#84345 01/06/12 05:59 PM
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Mouserocks:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Deadly Chakram:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Mouserocks:
<strong> rotflol Soon! I promise!


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

#84346 01/07/12 01:01 AM
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Umm… you *do* realize the *good* guys are supposed to win this one, right?

Quote
The door of the red Blazer opened and a tall, impossibly gaunt woman emerged, dressed in tight dark jeans pants and a black and purple shirt.
Oh great. razz

Quote
I have something that belongs to you."

She popped open the trunk of the car and hauled out each of his children, throwing them roughly to the hard ground. They were blindfolded and bound with heavy lengths of chains. They struggled against their bonds, wriggling like fish out of water. Clark could hear the hammering of their hearts as fear gripped them.
razz

Quote
"Grandma and Grandpa are in the back seat of the car," Hunter added.
Why did he recognize *their* heartbeats, too?

Quote
"Leaving so soon?" Alti asked, a knowing smile curving her lips. "You make one move and they will be dead before you can reach them. You may be fast, but I can kill your precious children with no more than a thought. That goes for any of you."
Yes, but how about a blast of heatvision right through her eye? Shouldn’t that pop the ol’ noggin before she can formulate a thought?

Quote
All wore ancient looking leather armor and carried an array of weapons. Some of the grizzled faces were scarred, some bore tattoos, and some had missing fingers or other evidence of the hard lives they had led.
Oh look! More bad guys.

Quote
Dahak's in the business of resurrecting dead murderers and warlords now? Doesn't seem like his style."
Well, if the other gods can do it…?

Quote
He shook his head, so slightly that she barely missed it. "Not sure yet."
Oh… great…

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Pulling roughly, she bared the child's throat to her blade, pressing it carefully against her flesh. A small, thin trickle of blood appeared on her skin.
clap

Quote
A warlord came up behind her as she spoke. At the same moment, her chakram returned to her hand, completing its journey. Xena deftly caught the weapon, turned to meet her foe, and used the razor edge to slice the warlord's throat.
clap

Quote
She reached into the tailgate of the Blazer and pulled out the lead case she held hidden there.
Hey! That’s not playing fair!

Quote
The chuck of stone that the shamaness held was thick on one end but tapered down to a sharp, pointed end on the other side.
Ooooooh! Will she put it on the ground? And can then someone push her onto it? Yes? Please?

Quote
With that, she plunged the stone into his stomach. Clark cried out in anguish as the radioactive substance entered his body.
shock Umm… DC, didn’t you insert it into the wrong person? Shouldn’t the pointy end go into Alti’s ear?

peep Michael


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#84347 01/07/12 07:18 AM
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Quote
Umm… you *do* realize the *good* guys are supposed to win this one, right?
They....are????? wink

Quote
Why did he recognize *their* heartbeats, too?
Too focused on the kids. :p

Quote
Yes, but how about a blast of heatvision right through her eye? Shouldn’t that pop the ol’ noggin before she can formulate a thought?
It should. Too bad Clark has morals though. wink

Quote
Oh look! More bad guys.
*Now* it's a party!

Quote
Well, if the other gods can do it…?
:p

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So, the old Jeep’s a war casualty, then?
Unfortunately. <takes a moment of silence>

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You know, she’s torturing him with all those Kryptonite imagines. Wouldn’t it be more effective to show him when Lois walks down the aisle to Lex. When she runs off with Max. Dates Call-Me-Daniel. Dies from freezing. Dies from electrocution. Dies from freezing. And so on. And so on.
She has to work with the memories that a person has. Not what she thinks would hurt the person but isn't true.

Quote
/cocks eyebrow/
She got pretty kick-butt in the later seasons. laugh

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That’s quite violent. What will the park rangers say when they find the scene?
goofy

Quote
Umm… DC, didn’t you insert it into the wrong person? Shouldn’t the pointy end go into Alti’s ear?
lol


Mission to freak people out with the cliffhanger ending seems to be accomplised!


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

#84348 01/07/12 08:05 AM
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Quote
They....are?????
Yeah, it's right there on page 137 of the villain's handbook.

Quote
Too bad Clark has morals though.
/waits for him to explain that one to Lois.

Quote
Unfortunately. <takes a moment of silence>
I don't remember but didn't one of them snipe about the car?

Quote
Mission to freak people out with the cliffhanger ending seems to be accomplised!
/Checks Nice-Author guidebook./ Hmm...There, on page 12, it states explicitly, no cliffhangers where people are seriously wounded.

Michael


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#84349 01/07/12 08:26 AM
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Quote
Yeah, it's right there on page 137 of the villain's handbook.
Well *that's* going to ruin Alti's day.

Quote
/waits for him to explain that one to Lois.
If the Kryptonite doesn't kill Clark...Lois will.

Quote
I don't remember but didn't one of them snipe about the car?
Not snipe per se, but Clark *did* offer Lois a new car on several occassions...and Lois was determined to drive it into the ground. I think it's in chapter one.

Quote
/Checks Nice-Author guidebook./ Hmm...There, on page 12, it states explicitly, no cliffhangers where people are seriously wounded.
I'm a nice author??? laugh

<checks handbook>

Hmmm...I have the updated version for 2011/2012 and I don't see that in my book.

<checks Michael's handbook>

Oh. Yours is from 1987.

goofy


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

#84350 01/07/12 10:40 AM
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Quote
Not snipe per se, but Clark *did* offer Lois a new car on several occassions...and Lois was determined to drive it into the ground. I think it's in chapter one.
Aaah, yes. So, did he subconsciously fly into the car? Did he and Alti set this up just to get Lois a new car?

Quote
Oh. Yours is from 1987.
/checks again/ Great. It's only the second edition. You've got the revised fifth edition. /heads over to Amazon.

wave Michael


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#84351 01/07/12 11:14 AM
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Aaah, yes. So, did he subconsciously fly into the car? Did he and Alti set this up just to get Lois a new car?
laugh Wouldn't that just be a kick in the pants!

Quote
/checks again/ Great. It's only the second edition. You've got the revised fifth edition. /heads over to Amazon.
You'll do better going through a seller. wink


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

#84352 01/17/12 07:26 PM
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eek Wow! I hate seeing Clark hurt or in pain, and I think you've managed to hurt him more in this chapter than any other story combined! I didn't really have time for another chapter tonight, but I'm going to have to go read the next one--I'll never be able to sleep with Clark bleeding to death!

And I knew Kryptonite was bound to show up! grumble Gossip on Kryptonian weaknesses obviously travels faster than light.

I love the way you've written the children--not snobs or brats or annoying, but really nice children caught up in this. Still, I'm worried about Jonathan and Martha; they're older and may not be able to handle this kind of excitement as well as they used to. Glad the children are safe for now, though.

#84353 01/17/12 07:36 PM
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Quote
Originally posted by AntiKryptonite:
eek Wow! I hate seeing Clark hurt or in pain, and I think you've managed to hurt him more in this chapter than any other story combined! I didn't really have time for another chapter tonight, but I'm going to have to go read the next one--I'll never be able to sleep with Clark bleeding to death!

And I knew Kryptonite was bound to show up! grumble Gossip on Kryptonian weaknesses obviously travels faster than light.

I love the way you've written the children--not snobs or brats or annoying, but really nice children caught up in this. Still, I'm worried about Jonathan and Martha; they're older and may not be able to handle this kind of excitement as well as they used to. Glad the children are safe for now, though.
You may hate me for a minute or two in the next chapter. I was really, really evil to Clark in this story. But I promise not to leave things *too* messy. Yes, word about Kryptonite does travel fast. Dahak and Alti know far too much. Glad that you like the kids. I figured with Lois and Clark raising them, they're going to be mostly nice kids who occassionally get into trouble. It was hard trying to remember how I acted/spoke at their ages though! I wanted to make sure that it was as realistic as possible. I wouldn't worry about Martha and Jonathan too much. They've been through a LOT with Lois and Clark over the years. This is just another one of those things that come with being the parents of a superhero. wink


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

#84354 01/17/12 07:38 PM
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Also, I claim no responsiblity for any loss of sleep incurred by having to read an extra chapter tonight. angel-devil


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon


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