She had taken him not to her folks’ house, but to the little diner in town. It had a huge “For Sale” sign in the window.
Meesa smellin' rat.
“Wouldn’t this be the perfect place for MJ’s Café to move to?”
Oops, meeesa just stepping onto rat.
“MJ’s Café isn’t moving,” he had corrected her.
So, he's never sneezed in front of the premises?
“Sure it is,” she had told him. “If Lex Luthor wants to demolish the building where it’s currently located, it will have to move at some point.
Very practical, Lois. Very safe. Always pick the battles Clark can *win*. Like a fist fight before Lex discovers there's green rocks out there.
“My folks don’t want to move back to Smallville, Lois,” he had told her. “They love Metropolis.”
There's that.
Twist alert!
“I just hate to think of Lex Luthor winning this one battle,” he had murmured.
Mmm-hm...
“You could always bunk with me until you got your feet on the ground.”
See? Lex won't win!
“But you only have the one bed which doubles as your couch,” he had playfully reminded her.
So, you've always been kind of floating around anyway.
Lois had kissed him and had said, “We could always share.”
Huh!
Clark had pulled her to him and said, “You win, Lois.”
Clark knows when he's been whipped.
“Oh, that’s not a pipe dream, Clark. That’s totally doable.”
It *is* a pipe dream. And Lois is certainly under the impression that Clark's doable.
“You’re turning off my gravity switch, Lois.”
Nice euphemism.
She had laughed and said, “Then I’ll wait until we’re a little more private to tell you my pipe dream.”
Thought so.
Dr. Lane had looked Clark up and down. “So, you’re Superman?”
/does impression of cartoon character with eyes popping out, steam comping from ears, and a loud train-whistle screaming before jaw hits floor, cracking the concrete/
“Is that so?” Dr. Lane had said disbelievingly. “Come in. Come in. Ellen, Lois brought Superman home for dinner,” he had called to his wife.
Tsk Tsk Tsk
“Does he look anything like Superman to you, Sam? No!”
Yes. He's got a weak chin. His eyes are of an insipid mudbrown, instead of the vivid brown of Superman's. If you'd do a evolutionary study, then you'd see that Clark's clearly the before, and Superman the way, *way* after.
“We flew, Daddy. Superman gave us a lift on his way out west. He and Clark are good friends,” Lois had lied through her teeth.
That's quite close to the truth. But then, Lois doesn't have a any huge holes in her row of pearly whites.
“We flew, Daddy. Superman gave us a lift on his way out west. He and Clark are good friends,” Lois had lied through her teeth.
And nice qualification there at the end. Also noticed, he hasn't given up speed-dating the local housewives.
“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to meet them. I would have been just fine postponing that night for a few years.”
But wouldn't they *then* resent Clark for the missed wedding?
“Of course, he didn’t like you, Clark. You’re boinking his little girl.”
What did she *tell* them?
“I most certainly am not,” he had gasped.
Are you sure? From what Lois told about her and Kal and the beach and sand and cracks...
Take me home, Clark. I’m ready for some alone time with you.”
/cocks eyebrow/
“You are welcome to stay and cuddle, Clark…”
Big clue from Lois?
“But don’t expect more than cuddling tonight.”
I kind of expected it. And not expected it.
. “You had better go, Clark, before we do something neither of us are ready for.”
"But... But... But... I bought *condoms*!"
Before that was Bad Moon Rising by Creedence Clearwater Revival, dedicated by Jason and the guys at the Discount Used Office Furniture Warehouse on Bessolo Boulevard.”
That's not good.
“Next up the rock ballad The Flame by Cheap Trick, dedicated by a group calling themselves The Toasters, who asked me to relay this message. ‘Stay off their turf and they’ll keep the flame away from your girl.’ Whoa! Not cool, man, to go after Superman’s bit of fluff.”
That's worse. Superman had best publicly shack up with Linda and Mayson. Maybe they're into threesomes?
“Radio? No. I wanted to tell you I found something in my bathroom cabinet as I was getting ready for bed and it kind of freaked me out.”
“The condoms?”
“Yes!” she gasped.
*Really*, Clark?
“I bought them.”
“Thank goodness. I thought the burglars had come back…”
Lois sure takes it in stride. And she hasn't yet disposed of them!
“Clark, do you think they could be the ones behind all those fires in the Suicide Slum?” she asked.
“Lois, that’s not important…”
It *is*. Because little miss investigative reporter wannabe will soon end up in trouble.
“Yeah, I got the message,” Clark interrupted. “Lois, Superman is going to come get you and bring you to my place.”
“No!” Lois contested.
/nods/
“Then you come. You come and stay with me, Clark. Or you come and take me to your place. Superman cannot be seen here.”
Um... no. And *no*!
Lois glanced to see that Clark was still out of the room and lowered her voice more. “Cramps.”
Martha sympathized and cut her a huge piece of pie. “No wonder Clark came home tonight.” She laughed.
And
And
Oh, goodness! You hadn’t meant to tell Clark about your period.
Yes. And shouldn't he smell it. And start marking dates in the calender?
Lois darted her eyes at him and then back away. “Stomach cramps,” she murmured.
He nodded. “You think you should eat Fudge Pie on an upset stomach?”
To be fair. She's a woman. And he's a man. You can't really expect him to read subtext. It's like expecting Lex to do an honest deal.
With a glance towards his parents’ room, Clark lowered his voice some more, “Is that why…” He blushed and didn’t finish his sentence.
No, she's not ready?
She reached over and took his hand. “Yes.”
“Are you going to tell me why you’re hiding condoms at my place?” she asked, also keeping her voice low. If he could ask humiliating questions, so could she.
Preparations for the easteregg hunt for adults?
with your H.G. Wells quote underneath. 
Next time I will not assume people would infer that.
I don't know why everyone is so surprised. Is Dr. Lane not the type of guy to read the tabloids while checking out at the grocery?
into Lois' arms. Got it. Took a couple read-throughs, but makes sense now. Thanks!![[Linked Image]](http://www.sabotagetimes.com/wp-content/uploads/jar_jar.jpg)