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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Green-Eyed Monster TOCPlease post feedback here. Thank you.
Last edited by VirginiaR; 10/12/14 02:45 AM. Reason: Fixed broken Link
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
  I seem to be torn. On one hand, excellent chapter! On the other, it was so frustrating! (see below for explanations) “Did I misunderstand? Is Clark not your boyfriend?” he asked, feeling like he was standing on the edge of lover’s leap, his life hanging on her answer. Oh, God, had Lois fallen for Superman?
But Lois continued to stare at him, dazed and confused. Then her eyes hardened into slits, her tongue slid across her front teeth and her voice grew cold and thunderous. “That remains to be seen.” Uh-oh. Yep. No doubt about it. Clark Kent was back in the doghouse, his conscience informed him. Got that right. He's worse than dog-house. He's a dead man. “And if he’s lied to me about you,” Lois continued, she was still moving at a brisk pace. “What else has he been lying to me about? Maybe he has girlfriends all over town for all I know.” She stopped abruptly again and patted Superman’s cheek. “Even you, wholesome cowboy, had lipstick on your cheek when you visited me after the press conference earlier. Are you hiding another life as well or is what I see what I get with you too?” Treading on dangerous waters here, Clark. Very, very dangerous waters... “I don’t have…” a girlfriend, he started to say, but that wasn’t really true. Lois was his girlfriend, at least he wanted her to be. At least, he hoped she still would be. Wrong answer, Clark. You've just given her the rope with which she will hang you... “What does Clark call you?” she asked. “Maybe I’ll call you that instead.”
Yeah, Flyboy, what does Clark call you? Oh, yeah. Me, myself and I. Yeah, say that, Clark! I can only imagine Lois' reactionas he starts rambling: "well, my real name's Kal-El but my adoptive name is Clark- and when my mom's really mad she'll throw in the dreaded 'Jerome' just for emphasis..." Deserves no other response beyond that. Lois’s brows shot up as she stepped towards him. “Girlfriends? Are you telling me there are other women in Clark’s life besides me? Is that why you are trying to warn me away from him? Why you are telling me not to rush into bed with him?”
Kal took a step back. “No! Absolutely not. Hypothetical future girlfriends.”
“Oh! So you’re saying there’s no future for me and Clark? That I should give him up now? To save myself the heartache that is sure to come if I stay with Clark?”
“No! No! No! Don’t do that. Clark loves you.”  And Inner Lois takes the cake! She ran her fingers through his hair, holding onto his head, pulling her body closer. “Clark,” she murmured. She had missed him. “Aren’t you hot in those clothes?” Say yes, Clark. For both Lois' and my sakes... She wanted nothing more than to get out of this dress and float in the cool water of the pool naked with this man. She desired nothing more than to feel her body pressed up against his; the water making sure that their kisses didn’t overheat them. Subliminal messaging, Superman? At the very least he's responsible for planting the skinny-dipping seed... Just one question, Lois, that has been nagging me. How is it possible for Kal to be from another planet with super powers and yet at the same time have a human twin brother Clark who is without super powers? Ding, ding, ding! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! Please welcome Inner Lois! Land's sakes, if Clark wasn't nearly dead before, he's certainly dead now. I'm wondering how you can drag out his death through the next twenty chapters or so... I mean, that just seems a little cruel. No matter what Clark deserves, don't punish your poor readers!  Okay. I have effectively put my insomnia to good use, even though I should have been writing a paper and as it is will need to be up again in two to three hours. But it was worth it to escape my paper-writing boredom and comment on this chapter extensively! Can't wait for next update!
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
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Joined: Sep 2009
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Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Sep 2009
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I love this story, and inner Lois is fun. I couldn't believe Lois thought Clark and Kal are twins, but I guess him pretending to be two different people was too much.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
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This story has been fun and interesting so far, what with the very different setting our characters are living in.
In the series canon, Clark keep his Superside from Lois at first because he wasn't sure that she just wouldn't turn him into a story, and then because he needed to know that Lois loved the Clark part of him more than the super part.
In this story I'm confused a bit. I don't see any logical reason why Clark would try to hide his super self from Lois. He's already in a relationship with her and doesn't need to worry about her 'ratting him out' in the Smallville Press. And he already knows how Lois feels about Clark.
If you really need Clark to maintain his secret identity for a while in this story then I need to see some more justification for doing so from Clark's point of view. Just being afraid that Lois will be mad when she finds out doesn't really work since keeping it from her is the one thing that will trigger her anger.
Looking forward to more... soon.
Tank (who is waiting patiently for the proper Lois haircut)
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Lois looked stunned. More than stunned. In shock. Had she completely forgotten about Clark in the presence of his tights wearing alter-ego? Were they boyfriend and girlfriend? Or were they just dating, but not exclusive? Somebody just stepped into a biiiig pile of doodoo. he asked, feeling like he was standing on the edge of lover’s leap, his life hanging on her answer. I'm sorry, Lois. I *tried* to make a dramatic gesture but I just keep floating. Oh, God, had Lois fallen for Superman? Serves him right. Yep. No doubt about it. Clark Kent was back in the doghouse, his conscience informed him. Now, if he could just figure out why  Poor Clark. He really does need a manual with lots of colorful pictures and no words. “What else has he been lying to me about? Maybe he has girlfriends all over town for all I know.” She stopped abruptly again and patted Superman’s cheek. “Even you, wholesome cowboy, had lipstick on your cheek when you visited me after the press conference earlier. Are you hiding another life as well or is what I see what I get with you too?” Oh dear oh dear. “I bet it wasn’t ‘nothing’ to your girlfriend,” hollered Lois, storming off. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear. “You don’t have a girlfriend, Superman? How convenient for you. Maybe I’ll dump Clark and the two of you can hit the town together, trolling for women.” Yup, he really stepped into it this time. Oh, that went badly, Flyboy. Get yourself out of that one. /looks over Clark's shoulder, takes instruction manual on how to dig out of a hole, flips it top side up, hands it back/ Anything that wasn’t about his private life. Yeah. Right. Like *that's* got the chance of a plant on Lois's desk. Clark knew he probably shouldn’t have let that wave hit her. But she really needed to cool off, flirting the way she had with Superman. His green-eyed monster had just taken over and held him back from reacting in time. Also, light summer dress, lot's of water, deserted beach equals lot's of fun time for the budging couple. You got your punishment though, didn’t you, Kent? That dress was practically see-through when wet. Poor Clark. Yeah, Flyboy, what does Clark call you? Oh, yeah. Me, myself and I. Not to forget, Yours truly. “Do you have other cool tricks?”
Clark raised an eyebrow at her terminology. “Dogs do ‘tricks’, Lois. I have abilities.” And yet, he's really good at 'fetch Lois' and 'fetch chocolate'. He smiled at her, tempted to kiss that slight pout off her lips.
You aren’t allowed to kiss Lois, Flyboy. She’s Clark’s girlfriend, he reminded himself. But it would still be verrrrry interesting  “Don’t tell Clark, but I can so see us skinny-dipping at a deserted beach like this. Making love on the sand.” She closed her eyes and moaned a little. “Well, not right on the sand, definitely on a blanket – otherwise too gritty.” Oh, course not. Hello? Anyone home, Lois? Kal is Clark! /Hands Ivy the classifieds in case she's looking for a new place to stay/ Or she could haunt Jimmy “I hope I never come between Clark and one of his girlfriends.” Baaaaaad choice of words. “No! Absolutely not. Hypothetical future girlfriends.” Woooooorse choice of words. “He wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his life proving to you that he’s worthy of your love, but…” Umm... Clark loves you? stammered her inner voice in shock. Clark loves you enough to spend the rest of his life with you? Clark wants to marry you? Looks like we found something to shut Ivy up  Michael
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Joined: Apr 2011
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
I'm glad you all kept your tomatoes for sauce or salsa. Sometimes my evil fic writer (my inner IVY) takes over and does naughty things, like screw with Lois's logic. Please let me take this time to once again apologize to Lois. You've got it right, Clark doesn't know how to be two people around Lois. He doesn't have his Superman persona down, yet. Neeeyoooooooowwww... CRASH! It seems like this bird... plane... superhero is going down. In flames. In a downhill spiral. Only to crash land atop an erupting volcano. Save yourselves! But then, she planted the seed about the whole sucking on the toes... immery: Thank you. Thinking Clark and Kal were twins was Lois's way of reasoning why Clark would lie to her. Tank: I know it sometimes hard to forget but technically it has been less than 24 hours since Lois kissed Clark at her apartment (I know it seems longer with the spaced out posting schedule). Most people don't reveal their deepest darkest secret to their new girlfriend/boyfriend within that time span due to not knowing if the relationship will all work out. And Clark keeping the Kal side separate probably would have worked (like for canon Clark) if two things hadn't happened 1) Tempus telling Lois about Superman, making her curious about the Man in Blue more than she might have been otherwise; 2) Lois having checked out Clark without his glasses. Then Clark would have had time to build a relationship with Lois that was just about the two of them and when he knew she loved him like he loves her, then he would have revealed all. But -- unfortunately for this Clark -- Tempus happens. Haircut? Who said anything about a haircut? Michael: You make my cheeks hurt from so much Some of my favorite lines: He really does need a manual with lots of colorful pictures and no words. Please tell me I haven't made Clark THAT stupid! /looks over Clark's shoulder, takes instruction manual on how to dig out of a hole, flips it top side up, hands it back/ Is it part of the series? 12 books on How to Survive Dating Lois Lane. /Hands Ivy the classifieds in case she's looking for a new place to stay/ Or she could haunt Jimmy Hmmm. Interesting concept. What would Jimmy do with a female inner voice? Hmmm... Defiant sex? Now there's a twist! /hopes she won't get pregnant and has to marry him/ No shotgun weddings in my story. See? How's *that* for destiny. Tempus will be so stupefied. Ha! Serve him right for interfering. /wonders if Lois actually went commando. She didn't appear like she took much time to get her underwear back in part 15, 14? The quote is "I doubt there’s much of my body you haven’t seen already". Of course, Lois is wearing underwear! Bra, not so much. Re: the Slamming door. There are a lot of parallels to canon dimension, a lot of familiar faces, scenes and dialogue will come in and out of L&C's lives, only with completely different meaning or with my own special GEM twist.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
From Virginia... Hope you were able to finish your paper in time. Don't worry. I got it done and passed with flying primary colors. I'm an expert procrastinator. Really should go for an M.A. in the field of Procrastination, minor in Further Methods of Avoiding Work. But then, she planted the seed about the whole sucking on the toes... Point made... I concede my argument
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28 |
Please tell me I haven't made Clark THAT stupid! Umm... Come to think of it, did we ever see him tie his own shoes? . . . Is it part of the series? 12 books on How to Survive Dating Lois Lane.  Michael
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