Sorry so long since I posted. I broke my glasses and seeing has been a proble. Well, not seeing, but reading. But since computers have this neat little feature (larger text) to help me out, let's get another part up.
Lots going on, again. Although, everything can't be all wine and roses. It's going to be a rollacoaster ride getting Lois all the way back, so hold on.
Enjoy!
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Lois chose to sit across from the twins so she could see them both, instead of having to move her head back and forth to see them. Luckily the table was round, enabling her to see everyone fairly clearly.
"Oh, Jonathan, this steak is delicious," she commented after about three bites.
"Thank you," he said and reached over to pat her arm.
"And the potatoes..." She moaned appreciatively.
"Lois likes to eat," Clark told them.
"Me, too," supplied Collin and demonstrated by stuffing a potato into his mouth.
Lois laughed softly as she looked at him. He allowed her a glimpse of his dimples before he stuck another bite of his food with his fork. She saw that Perry was eating, but not as enthusiastically as her brother. Martha noticed Lois was watching the girl.
"Perry is all girl. She's... dainty."
"I see," Lois said and the little girl smiled at her. Both children sat on booster seats strapped into the dining chairs. It was amazing how much they'd grown. Perry's hair was long and wavy, tied up in piggy tails. Collin sported a neat, close haircut, making him look like a little man. Glancing from them to Clark, Lois realized that they did indeed look like him.
Clark lifted his head from helping Collin with his steak, noticing Lois seemed to be lost in her thoughts. "Hey?" He reached over to touch her hand and she blinked so she could focus on him. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I was just noticing how much they really do look like you."
Martha grinned at her husband. "We've always thought so, too. But of course, we figured it was just wishful thinking."
Lois let out a snort of laughter. "I'll bet that was odd as he... Hey, pass me the salad," she interrupted herself from uttering the swear word at the last moment.
Martha laughed out loud. "Yeah, it was," she agreed. Her eyes met Lois' and they both laughed again. "Jonathan forgets himself sometimes, too."
"Sorry," Lois replied with a blush and ducked her head toward her plate. She dug back into her food with abandon. In mere minutes she was done. Martha and Jonathan exchanged a glance, but kept eating their own meals. "I eat fast. Consequence of starving in prison. When I first went, I still ate slowly and went to bed hungry a few nights. Of course, considering it *was* prison food, I guess I went to bed hungry a lot." She stopped when the older Kents stared at her.
Clark hadn't slowed down. He had gotten used to her babble rather quickly. "She babbles," he pointed out around a mouth full of food.
"Sorry," she said again. "I haven't talked a lot in the past few years and now that I can..." She shrugged helplessly, a deep blush washing over her face. "Okay, I'm nervous as he..." She glanced at the twins who were watching her intently as they ate. "I'm petrified."
"Why, dear?" Martha asked her.
Lois stared at her as if she had three heads. "Are you kidding?" She waved her hand around the room as if that should explain everything. When Martha gave her an understanding smile, she let out an exasperated breath. Leaning back against her chair she felt hot tears sting her eyes again.
"Lois, don't," Clark whispered. "They understand."
"I know," she breathed, wiping her cheeks.
"Daddy?" He reluctantly tore his eyes from Lois and looked over at Collin.
"What, son?"
"Is her otay?"
"Yes, big guy, she's okay."
His large, bright eyes went to Lois and she swore his expression was one of complete understanding. "Div her a teenex."
The adults laughed softly as Clark stood up and retrieved the *Kleenex* from the buffet by the door. "Here. Take a teenex," he told Lois as he pulled one from the box and held it out to her.
She laughed again and accepted the offer. "Thank you," she said to Collin.
"Welcome," he replied, then shoved more potatoes in his mouth.
Why had she waited so long to come meet these little people? Lois asked herself as they finished their dinner. Her eyes flashed to Jonathan's when he offered her another gentle touch. She and Martha exchanged an entire conversation across the table, without ever saying a word. She talked a bit with the twins, but mostly they ate. They were good eaters, sampling everything on their plates. They were healthy, with beautiful olive colored skin and shiny hair. Martha and Jonathan took really good care of them and it showed.
****
"Will you come back to see us?" Perry asked Lois when Martha announced it was bedtime. Clark explained they were on a schedule, although not too strict. But Martha liked for them to go to bed close to the same time each night. He did say they could stay up a bit later if she wanted them to. Lois insisted they stick to their routine, saying there would be plenty of time for them to be together from now on. He'd argued briefly, but she'd told him she'd like to talk with his parents for a while.
"I will come so often you'll get tired of seeing me," Lois told the little girl.
Perry smiled brightly, the dimples in her cheeks as deep as Collin's. "Wois, do you hug your friends?"
A lump jumped into Lois' throat and she forced it down so she could answer. "Yes, Perry. I like to hug my friends." She nearly passed out when Perry launched herself at her, wrapping her small arms around her neck. It took her a second, but she finally managed to get her body to react to what her brain was telling her. Lois folded her daughter against her body as new tears filled her eyes. She cried softly as she held Perry for the first time since the girl was seven months old.
Collin looked up at Clark from where he sat on his father's lap and was about to say something, but Clark covered his mouth with a large hand. "Not now, son." He smoothed his hand over his cheek, gazing at him to keep his attention long enough for Lois to reunite with Perry. It worked for a moment. Finally the little boy turned toward the others.
"Is her otay, Daddy?"
"She is now, son," Clark told him as he watched Lois withdraw and cup Perry's cheek.
"Thank you," Lois told Perry. "I really needed that hug."
"'Night, Wois." Perry kept watching her as she grasped Martha's hand so the older woman could lead her up to bed.
When they were gone, Collin slid off of Clark's lap and walked over to Lois. "I wike to hug, too."
Lois reached out to grasp his tiny face and rubbed her nose against his. She'd done that to both of them from the time they were born.
Collin looked up at her with a bright smile. "My daddy do that," he let her know.
"Does he?" Her thumbs stroked his cheeks as she gazed at him. Deciding she'd waited long enough, she pulled him to her chest to hold him like she'd done her daughter. His small arms squeezed tightly, wrapping her in a warmth she'd missed desperately.
Collin wasn't as understanding as Perry, withdrawing from the hug long before Lois wanted him to. "See ya'," he said and ran toward his grandfather. Jonathan bent to lift him in his arms and they went up to bed.
When they were gone, Lois sighed and looked over at Clark. "I miss them already."
"I know." He reached over to squeeze her arm. "We can come back day after tomorrow. Or you could stay. I'm sure Mom wouldn't mind."
"We have that meeting with Mayson tomorrow," she reminded him.
"I forgot. Sorry."
"But maybe I could come back this weekend. I mean, you could, too, but if you can't..."
"I think that's a great idea," Martha said as she reentered the room. "I'll make up the extra room." She sat down in the chair across from the sofa where the younger couple was sitting.
"Thank you."
"Lois, you don't have to thank me. They *are* your children."
"They're yours, too," she said flatly as her eyes bore into the older woman's. Martha was unable to utter a word in reply. "That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you all about."
"What do you need to talk to us about?" Jonathan asked as he sat down in the other chair beside his wife.
"You are planning to move to Metropolis?" Lois asked the older couple.
"Yes. We close on the new house in two weeks," Martha told her.
"I've done a lot of thinking... a *lot* of thinking. I'm not gonna take the kids away from you." She stared down at her clasped hands.
"What?" Martha glanced at Clark, who was obviously hearing this for the first time, too.
"You're all they know."
"Don't you think they'll want to live with you once they get to know you?" Jonathan spoke up. As much as he didn't want to lose his twins, he didn't want to keep them from their mother either.
Lois shrugged, unable to look at them. "Truth is I'm not sure I trust myself to take care of them."
"Don't be silly," Martha told her. "You'll be wonderful when you settle in."
Clark sat up on the edge of the sofa. "Why don't we take one day at a time before we make such huge decisions?"
"I thought you'd be thrilled," she said when her eyes met his.
"Thrilled? Lois, if you think I'm thrilled because you've more or less decided that you don't want to raise your kids, then you have a lot to learn about me. No, I don't want to lose them. But I don't want you to give them up either. And you don't have to. We can raise them together."
"Clark, you don't want me and all my baggage around all the time."
Clark scooted closer to Lois and reached out to lift her chin until she looked at him. "I want you with your kids. And since I'm not going anywhere, then yeah." He smiled at her, his hand dropping to grasp hers. "I want you around."
"You'll change your mind," she told him, a deep frown on her face. She'd thought about this nearly nonstop since she'd first seen the kids tonight. They adored their grandparents. How could she take that away from them? And how in the world could any of them want her around all the time? There was so much going on in her mind. She wasn't sure she'd ever feel... normal again.
"And when I do, I'll kick your butt to the curb," he joked, hoping it would have at least a little affect on her. He let out a long slow breath when her mouth quirked toward a smile.
"Clark, why don't you take Lois to look at the house?" his mother put in. "That storage space over the garage could be turned into a nice, little apartment."
Clark's face lit up. "Mom, that's a great idea!"
"Oh, I don't know," Lois spoke up.
"You don't have to," Clark said as he reached down to squeeze her knee. "I know for you."
She finally allowed the smile tugging her lips to spread out. "If someone had told me about you, I'd have called them a liar."
"He is a good boy, isn't he?" Martha asked as she stood and patted her son's shoulder. "As much as we love talking with both of you, five o'clock comes early."
"I'm so sorry," Lois said quickly and jumped to her feet.
"Don't be, honey." Martha reached over and grasped Lois' arm as she led her toward the kitchen. "We are thrilled to finally have you here."
"I'm not sure what you're expecting from me..." Lois began.
"We expect you to love your children," the other woman said. They stopped next to the table and Martha faced her. "And since you turned them over to strangers to raise because you felt they were better off than with Lex Luthor, then I'm positive you already cherish them."
Lois stared at Martha for a moment before she leaned forward and hugged her. "Thank you," she whispered.
"Oh, honey," was the soft reply. When they drew apart, Martha smiled and cupped Lois' cheek. "Make my boy take care you."
Her eyes glanced over to where Clark was acting like he wasn't listening. "I think I can handle that."
"I have no doubt," Martha replied with a knowing grin. She went over to the counter to pack up the goody bag she was sending with them.
"You're welcome here any time," Jonathan told Lois as he gave her a warm hug.
"Thank you." She turned toward Clark, who held out her jacket for her to slip it on. She gave him an appreciative glance and he smiled at her.
When he'd put his jacket on and given his parents hugs, he steered her out the back door. "Do you mind holding this?"
"Sure," she replied and took the bag. "What choice do I have?"
"You could always fly us home," he joked as he bent to lift her into his arms.
"Yeah, I think I'll do that," she said as she wrapped her free arm around his neck.
He chuckled and lifted them into the air. "We can go up a little slower this time since no one can see us." And he could watch the wonder on her face. She liked flying.
And he liked flying with her... like this. He'd never really done that before. Never had someone to share himself like that. Lana had always known about him, accepted him. She just didn't like flying, at all. The poor girl could get air sickness in an elevator. She'd told him they had to give her a sedative so she was able to fly to the space station.
"This is the only way to travel," Lois said after a moment.
"I agree. Of all my powers, this one is the best."
"Absolutely," she said as she looked out across the passing scenery. "Did you tell your parents that I know about you?"
"Yeah."
"I thought you must have because they didn't mention it tonight." She looked around at him. "Do the twins know?"
"They know I can do some amazing things. I've never tried to hide it from them. It's who I am, so why hide it from them? I know I hide it from the world, but family's family. I don't want to hide from family."
"I'm glad I know, too. I'd hate for you to hide this from me."
"Then I guess I'm glad we didn't meet any sooner."
Lois leaned her head against his. "I don't know. Under different circumstances..."
"It's over now," he said softly.
"I know." She sighed, for all she'd lost, for what could have been, for what lay ahead.
Clark pulled her just a bit closer, a pang of regret for what she'd lost knotting in his stomach. If he could give her life back...
But that was yesterday. They couldn't change a thing. All they could do was forge ahead. He'd meant what he'd told her; he wanted her around. All the time. It was amazing how much she'd gotten under his skin in such a short time.
By the time they reached Metropolis, Lois was sound asleep. He landed in the alley and carried his load inside. He laid her down on the bed and had to pry the bag his mother sent from her hand. He figured it was reflex for her to hold it so tightly. He'd noticed she often clenched her hands, holding things with a little too much force. After setting the bag on the nightstand, he reached down to pull her shoes off.
He smiled as he remembered her trying to decide on which pair she wanted the most. He'd solved her problem by purchasing both pairs she'd picked out.
As carefully as possible, he slipped her jacket off. He grabbed the extra quilt from the window seat and spread it over her, deciding that she'd have to sleep in her clothes. He wasn't about to make her uncomfortable in any way. And taking her clothes off would not only do that, it would make him extremely uncomfortable.
Not being able to stop himself, Clark smoothed his hand over the side of Lois' face. In her repose, one wouldn't know the demons that plagued her. He hoped that with time, a lot of patience, and few hundred hugs from two of the most gorgeous toddlers in the world, those demons wouldn't accost her as horribly as they did now.
He straightened up and grabbed the bag from the nightstand to take it to the kitchen. After putting the food away, he went to change. He settled on the couch and closed his eyes to listen to the steady thump of Lois' heart. He, too, was soon fast asleep.
****
Violent thrashing sent the blanket on top of Lois flying off the bed. She moaned, she grunted.
"NO!" she yelled and set straight up. Her eyes searched frantically for the man who had just been on top of her. When Clark reached down to grasp her arm, she swung wildly. "Get away from me!"
Her action caught him off guard and the smack across his face was hard enough to knock him to the floor. He landed on his backside with a thud. His grunt of surprise brought Lois to her feet. She squared up and was ready to do battle.
"No more!" she went on. "You won't do it again!"
"Lois," he tried softly. "It's me, Clark."
She stood over him breathing heavily, as formidable an opponent as he'd ever seen. She stared at him for a moment, then suddenly her face cleared. Her eyes focused in the dim light and she let out a defeated breath before dropping back down on the mattress.
Clark moved slowly toward her. "Lois?"
Her hands were shaking and she was still breathing like she'd been running. She thrust a hand through her hair, then bent over to rest her arms on her knees.
"Are you okay?" he asked as he stood up. He didn't get too close, allowing her the time she needed to recover. She nodded, but didn't speak. "Want some water?" She shook her head in the negative, gulping in deep breaths now. All of a sudden she jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Clark could only stand there as he listened to her. She was sick. Deciding that a possible rebuke was better than doing nothing, he went into the bathroom and wet a cloth in cold water. Satisfied that she was finished throwing up, he bent over and placed the cloth on her face.
Lois sighed in relief and sank backward, confident Clark would be there. He didn't disappoint her, kneeling so that he could hold her against his chest and continue to wipe her face with the cloth.
"Better?" he asked after her shaking seemed to ease a bit.
"No," she mumbled into the cloth, turning her face further into Clark's hand.
"Do you need to throw up again?"
"No," she breathed.
Clark moved the cloth over her face and held her while she recovered. After a while, he shifted her so he could pick her up.
"I need to brush my teeth," she managed when she realized he was going to carry her out of the bathroom.
He set her on her feet in front of the sink, then motioned with his hand toward the door. "I'll go get you something to drink." She nodded her head as she struggled to get her brush ready. He wanted to help, but decided she might want to be alone. He left her there and went to the kitchen to pour her a glass of Sprite.
Lois brushed her teeth, washed her face, and flushed the toilet before going into the other room. Clark was stepping back into the bedroom when she came out. "Do you have some aspirin?"
"Ah, yeah." He hurried back into the kitchen and was back by the time she sat down on the side of the bed. "Here." She took the pills and the soda, gulping them down quickly.
"Thanks," she told him.
"You're welcome." He had knelt down so that he could see her face and he watched her carefully as she turned up her glass again.
"Sorry about knocking you down."
"Not a problem. I should have known better than to grab you while you were dreaming."
She nodded her head, then set the glass down on the nightstand. "Why does Superman keep aspirin in his house?"
He smiled. Leave it to Lois to ask him that. "I keep them in case Mom or Dad needs them when they come. And believe it or not, from time to time I feel like I need them."
"I guess everybody does get tired sometimes, even a super man."
"Sometimes." He watched as she picked at her nails, not even attempting to look at him. "I have really good hearing."
She didn't say anything, just stared at the floor as one nail flicked at another.
He waited, but still she sat. Finally he sighed softly and stood up. "If you need anything..." Just a nod. He tore his eyes away from her and went back into the living room. He couldn't force her to talk to him. She would when she was ready.
Clark stretched back out on the couch and sighed again when Lois clicked the light off. A moment later, the bed squeaked, telling him she'd resettled to go back to sleep. He turned over and looked up at the ceiling, desperately wishing again that he could help her in some way. It actually hurt him physically to see her in so much pain and distress. He was positive she didn't even know how to help herself. She was floundering, struggling to cope, to make sense of everything.
This time he was the one to jump in surprise when Lois sat down across the top of his legs. He'd been so lost in his thoughts he hadn't heard her come in. He watched her while she sat there, wrangling with her demons even though she was wide awake.
"I can remember things... Things that happened while I was drugged." She tucked her hair behind her ear, but didn't look at him. "The first time he gave me drugs was the night Paul inseminated me. The first time he raped me was on our 'wedding' night." She made quotation marks with her fingers when she said wedding. "It was... strange. I remember thinking 'this doesn't feel right'. So, I told him no." She glanced toward the door, wiping her cheek as she did. "Only he made it clear that in his world, no was not a word I could use with him." She sighed and laid her back, staring up at the ceiling. "He told me later, after the twins were born, that the only reason he ever had sex with me was because he was bored." Her head rolled so that she could look at him. "He left me alone after the kids were born. Thank God. If I'd had to worry about becoming pregnant..." She let out a snort of laughter. "I guess he controlled women because of his inadequacies as a man."
Clark folded his pillow so that his head was higher, allowing him to see her better. It was dark in the apartment, the only light coming in through the window in the bedroom. But he was pretty sure that's the way she wanted it.
She moved her head to look at the ceiling again. "Even nearly being raped in prison didn't scare me as much as actually being raped by Lex." Lois lifted her head and looked at Clark with a smile. "You know what's funny? He was worse than my first boyfriend. At least he'd been a teenager and had an excuse not knowing what he was doing."
Clark just kept looking at her, offering support the way he felt she needed at the moment- by being there, listening.
Lois shifted so she could prop her arm on the back of the couch, leaning her head on her hand. "I don't even know now what the attraction was. I guess I was flattered that he was interested in me. Third richest man in the world courting a struggling reporter- who wouldn't be impressed?" Her eyes had adjusted to the dim light and she could see his eyes. "I never thought I'd be able to be alone in the same room with another man, much less sit on him." She grinned at him.
His lips quirked, but he still didn't speak. And he didn't move. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable in any way.
Her smile faded and she dropped her eyes to stare as she picked at the couch cushion. "I don't have that dream often, but it has the same affect every time." Again she looked at him and smiled. "Although the reaction was a bit different when I woke up this time." When he barely acknowledged what she'd said, her smile faded. "Why the hell don't you say something?" she asked him, a single tear spilling from her eye. "I'm pouring my heart out here and I really need to know if I make you sick."
"What?" he asked with furrowed brows.
"Do I?"
"Why would you think that?" She didn't answer, just looked away from him.
Clark sat up, which brought his face within inches of hers. "What he did to you wasn't your fault."
"Thirteen times," she whispered, still looking down. "And every time felt like he took a piece of my soul with him." Clark hesitantly reached out to rub her upper arm, unable to respond to that. "How do I get that back?"
"Lois," he said softly and waited for her to look at him. "I don't think you'll ever get it back, but you can put all of that into a place where you'll be able to live again."
She held his gaze for a long moment before she lifted her hand and placed it on his chest. She didn't say another word, just gave him a look that begged for him to help her. He pulled gently on the arm he was still holding and she fell over on him. As his arms wrapped around her, the first tears left her eyes.
Clark tucked her head under his chin and held her close while she cried. This time was worse than the first one. His heart broke for her. He'd gotten to know Lois Lane through Perry and Jimmy, and he knew what a strong woman she'd once been. He'd seen glimpses of that strength in the last few days. As far as he knew, he was the only one who'd seen her break. It would be a struggle. It would take time, more tears, and incredible patience, but he believed that if she'd allow herself, she could heal. She could one day be that strong, independent woman she'd once been.
And the world better look out. Somehow he felt she'd be even more formidable on the other side than she had ever been. Luthor probably had no idea just what he was creating.
"I feel like... hitting something," she sobbed a while later.
"I know." He held her a bit tighter.
When she finally calmed enough to talk, she asked, "Can I hit you?"
He laughed softly. "You've done that already."
"Yeah. But I was asleep." The laughter rolled through his chest, against her cheek. And it was contagious. The crying stopped and the humor finally bubbled over. "I'm serious," she mumbled after she calmed. "I'd at least like to remember it so it'll make me feel better."
Clark smoothed the side of her head, allowing her all the time she needed. She burrowed into his chest, apparently comfortable where she was. "I could... take you to the South Street gym."
"To box?"
"Box, kick box, wrestle. It might help." He was only saying it to help lighten her mood, but she wasn't laughing. Or even smiling. He could tell by the way she'd tensed up that she was actually considering it.
"I used to take self defense classes. I did it back then so I'd be prepared... just in case." She pushed away from his chest and wiped her face. "Fat lot of good that did me."
"Lois, you were drugged."
"How will I ever be able to look at myself in the mirror again and not ask if there was more I could have done?" She shifted and dropped her feet to the floor. She'd pulled them up on the couch earlier. "I could have said no."
"You did say no," Clark reminded her.
"To the damn dates," she spat as she stood up.
"How could you have known what kind of monster he was?"
"If I'd opened my damn eyes, I would have seen it!" she yelled at him. "I was a better judge of character than that. I knew Claude Benoit wanted to seduce me for my story. I knew Paul Herrin was sleeping with my roommate. And I knew Lex was going to hurt my baby girl. How could I *not* know he was using me? Why didn't I know what he was?!" She threw up her hands and stomped into the other room. The light clicked on and Clark could hear her jerking open a drawer. He'd barely dropped his feet to the floor when she came back through. "I'm going running."
"It's three in the morning," he pointed out.
"So?" she asked as she dropped on the chair and stuffed a foot into one of her shoes. She'd changed into a pair of sweats already.
"Lois," he tried again.
"What?" She finished her task and stood up. The hair on her head whipped around her face and Clark was standing on the top of the landing, dressed in sweats and sneakers. "Where are you going?"
"With you," he said matter-of-factly.
"I don't need a babysitter." She stomped up the stairs and reached for the door.
He actually flinched at the tone of her voice. The pure rage that spilled through surprised him. So did her defiant and aggressive posture. "Fine!" It was clear how she felt, so he'd go back to bed. He didn't need this crap anyway. Lois never faltered as he bounded back down the stairs and flopped on the couch. The door slammed loudly and he let out an exasperated sigh. He'd handled that all wrong. Sure, he didn't think it was a very good idea for her to go out running at three in the morning, but he didn't have a place to object. Lois was just... Lois. She might be the mother of his kids, but that didn't give him the right to tell her not to do something. They might be moving toward becoming good friends, but he still didn't have claims on her.
And none of that meant a damn thing right now. He was mad. More precisely, he was hurt. He was only trying to show her that he was concerned for her. Even telling himself that this was just another coping mechanism didn't matter. She wasn't angry at him; she was angry with herself. Still, it didn't make a difference. Clark was stubborn and when his feelings were hurt, he didn't handle it very well.
He glanced at the door, briefly considering going to look for her. That would make her ever madder. He could follow her from the air, but if she found that out...
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He'd just wait here. She wouldn't be gone long.
Ten minutes later he was almost grateful that his hearing picked up a news break on the radio in the apartment next door. There was a pile up on the freeway. One last look at the door and he zipped out of the apartment. Lois would be here when he got back. Maybe he'd try talking to her.
Maybe by then he'd be calmed down, too.
****
Lois wasn't back when Clark finished with the wreck on the freeway, and it was nearly dawn. By now he was a bit apprehensive. He zipped back out, flying around the neighborhood looking for her. He went to the Planet, to Perry's, even Jimmy's. Everywhere he took a super peek, she wasn't there. Reluctantly he flew back to the apartment so he could shower. It was almost time for him to go to work. He decided that Lois was a big girl and could take care of herself. She'd done so up until now. Surely she could keep on.
He finished his shower, managed to eat a bite, then left for work. Lois knew where the apartment was at; she'd come back when she was ready.
And what if she was never ready? his wayward mind asked him. What if everything was just too much for her to handle?
He made it to work, sat down, and called up his email before Perry came out of his office.
"Where's Lois?" the editor asked him.
"I don't know," he answered without looking at him.
"What do you mean, you don't know?"
Clark looked up at him. "She went running early this morning and hasn't come back."
"Hasn't come back?" Perry asked as she propped his hands on his hips.
"No."
"Well, what in Sam Hill happened?"
"Look, Perry," Clark started, his frustration returning full force. "She had a nightmare last night and didn't handle the aftermath very well."
The fire seemed to drain from the old man. He relaxed and sat down on the edge of Clark's desk. "How was she doing before then?"
"I thought she was doing okay," Clark admitted as he leaned back in his chair. "We went to see the kids last night and she was happy. Even planning to go out tomorrow and spend the weekend with them." Clark pinched the bridge of his nose under his glasses. "We talked a while when she first woke up," he started when he looked back at Perry. "Then she got angry and stormed out."
"What was she angry about?"
"She's incredibly angry with herself over everything that's happened. She feels she should have known what kind of person Luthor was, should have known what he was going to do."
"She's letting the guilt eat her up," Perry deduced.
"Yeah. I tried to talk to her..." Liar, he told himself silently. If you'd tried very hard, she might not have left.
Perry stood up and reached over to squeeze Clark's shoulder. "Lois is tougher than you think. She'll be okay."
Clark gave him a nod, a wry smile on his face. Perry's expression said he didn't totally agree either, but what could they do? Perry went back to his office and Clark went back to work. Or at least he tried to. He was worried about Lois and until he knew what was going on with her, he doubted he'd get a whole lot done.
