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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
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Thanks, in advance, for any feedback! It always makes my day!
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Joined: Apr 2011
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
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Lois!  Evil Lex.  Evil Nigel. Superman never returned after nightfall? They thought he died? I thought it was the raging heat in winter that had driven him away. Why wouldn't Clark bring Superman back after nightfall? Will Lois pick up on Lex's clues about Clark's other persona, I wonder? She's quite the fighter, Lois is. This scene confused me: The Englishman moved the gun and fired something that grazed the side of my arm.
Luthor let out a roar that froze the blood in my veins.
My foot missed a step and sent me tumbling head-first toward the ground. I thought Lex had been shot by the bullet that barely missed Lois. But surely he's alive and well and spouting off Lexisms the next minute. Was he just screaming because Nigel ALMOST shot Lois? I thought he didn't care for Lois, dumped her for someone else. So, Clark has been weakened by Kryptonite (and is in Clark clothes, so it was he and not Superman who was captured). How did Lex discover Clark = Superman? And Lois is injured from her fall down the stairs and tossed back into the cell with Clark. Will they in their states of unwellness beable to help one another? Does Lex enjoy seeing the friends united? Or is he waiting until Clark tells Lois the truth? That Superman didn't die, but Clark gave him up? Why would Clark give up his Superman persona? You don't want to piss off Lois, Lex. You've got me on the edge of my seat. Can't wait to see what happens next.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
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A compelling part. He must have been in order to lose so much body mass, to lose so much of his strength. Poor Clark! He said I had no use for them anymore. I realize that Lex may not have meant what Lois thinks he meant by that; but either way, this line is positively chilling. Fear...and hate. It had taken me this long to identify that second emotion because I had never before heard it in Clark's voice. I had thought him incapable of it. Another chilling line. It alludes to just how horrendous a time Clark has had. "Guess you never really had a chance for a heart-to-heart with her, eh, Kent? Is Lex going to spill the beans?  ; He normally plays his hand close to his vest, but I could see him telling her in an effort to drive a wedge between her and Clark. Luthor's smile was as cheerful as a corpse's and far more unsettling. A vivid and disturbing image. Perfect for Lex. Some small part of my mind tried to warn me that I was in the middle of a dangerous situation; it didn't do any good. When did it ever with Lois? "Come now, Ms. Lane," he tsked. "You didn't really think you could make it out of here, did you?" I know I hadn't -- not when there are still 19 more parts too the story. That thing in the cell really does seem to have a soft spot for you. A good thing...for me. Every being, even super-powered ones, have their Achilles' Heels. He may not have told her outright; but if Lois were on her game, his hint would be enough for her to figure things out. The question is, just how much off her game is she right now? Between the physical pain and the emotional turmoil, she might not put the pieces together -- at least not for a while. Looking forward to part three. Joy, Lynn
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
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Superman never returned after nightfall? They thought he died? I thought it was the raging heat in winter that had driven him away. Why wouldn't Clark bring Superman back after nightfall? <snip> Why would Clark give up his Superman persona? My take on it is that the heat drove Superman away, never to return as far as the public was concerned. Clark, of course, left Metropolis during the heat wave as well. Nightfall mysteriously exploded; I am assuming that that was Clark working anonymously. He didn't want to let the people of earth know that Superman was still in the vicinity, and so he did not destroy the asteroid publicly as Superman. AntiK, am I close? Joy, Lynn
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Oh, good part!!  
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way. 
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Wow! Compelling story How will they ever get out of this? Can't wait to see where you take it.
EvelynC
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,122 Likes: 1 |
Well, you've written Lois, Clark, and Superman into a bit of a mess. No locks to pick, no windows, injuries, and K.
It makes for an intriguing situation, and I'm looking forward to seeing how you get them out of this.
At least they're together - that's always good!
Very interesting set-up and wonderfully well written.
Corrina.
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Joined: Sep 2010
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 186 |
Very interesting premise here. I can't wait to see where you go! I love your Lois' voice. And the moment when she realized that Clark had been held captive for a month... took my breath away. I of course did not put that together until she did. Yikes! Get back here and fix things. Can't wait to see when she realizes CK and SM are one in the same.
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
"If anyone can find it, it's you," he said, his voice a bit stronger and more confident. Lois - Clark's anti-Kryptonite.  I understood that even though I had let him walk away from me, he still thought the world of me. He thought better of me than even I did, and that was saying something. Or it used to anyway. Now, almost everyone thought better of me than I did. How very perseptive of you Lois! I love that she recognizes that she is still her own harshest critic. Horror assailed me. I knew the feel of Clark. He had walked me to my place a hundred times, and a few of those times, he had tentatively slipped an arm around my shoulders, relaxing only when I would signal my acceptance of the gesture by looping my arm around his waist. Due to an embarrassing accident, I knew what Clark looked like without his square suits, and he felt much the same way--solid, steady, firm.
Or he had.
I suddenly knew that no matter how much I had tried to deny it, Clark had been held here for an entire month. He must have been in order to lose so much body mass, to lose so much of his strength.  Why had I held onto my anger that he had gone to find happiness without me, helping Superman wherever he had ended up and stealing my place at the superhero's side? I love this line, particularly "stealing my place at the superhero's side." I did blame him. For a while, I had hated him. He had made me need him, and then he had left me alone. Two men had promised to be around whenever I needed them, and they had both walked away without a backward glance regardless of the fact that I still needed them. And yet you STILL can't put one and one together? Lois, honey, you are slipping. :p Funny. I didn't think I'd ever seen him without them; I couldn't even picture him without them. Try to Lois! That misconception lasted only until the door was yanked open with the screeching of abused hinges and Clark let out a breath that was almost a whimper. He pulled me with him as he backed desperately away from the door, his spine thudding painfully into the corner of the cell, his arms locked around me. OMG! Evil, evil Lex! But cool that he gave so many bald clues to Lois about Clark right at the end there. I hope she was lucid enough to really hear him. Great chapter. Post again soon - you're killing me as surely as the Kryptonite is killing Clark!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Jan 2007
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Wow, great story so far AK! I'm wondering how Lex figured out Superman was Clark, what's happened to his parents (if anything), how Lex captured him, what they're doing with the Kryptonite exactly... Looking forward to the next chapter!!
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always
depend on the support of Paul.
-George Bernard Shaw
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Joined: Feb 2007
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Is there an expected posting schedule, so I can figure out when I can see L&C suffering more? Can't wait to see what's next! Thanks
EvelynC
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Hey, EvelynC! Just thought I'd write to let you (and anyone else who's interested) know that I will be posting every Sunday night/Monday morning and Thursday night/Friday morning at around midnight or so.
Maybe when I finish writing the whole story (I'm on chapter 15 currently), I'll start posting a bit more often.
Thanks for the interest and great feedback!
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
Glad to see your posting schedule. You're still killing me though. I need more story!!!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Dec 2010
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Blogger
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Blogger
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Very compelling! I like the twists that you've thrown in. Can't wait for more.
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thanks, everyone, for the great feedback and enthusiastic response to this story! VirginiaR--I've never liked Luthor myself and always seen him as VERY evil, so that's how I write him. And as to why he let out such a roar to see Lois hurt...well, it has nothing to do with affection and everything to do with the fact that he has plans for her, which don't involve her dying--at least at this point. :p I was worried that diving in at this point without showing a lot of what had happened to Clark would make it hard for people to realize how much he had suffered...but I guess I'm okay on that score! Thanks, Lynn, for the feedback on Luthor's characterization--as I said, he's not my favorite character, but I was hoping I did him justice. And Lois figuring things out...hmm. :rolleyes: As to whether you're close with your theories...I'll let the next chapter speak for itself.  Thank you, Mozartmaid!  Glad it doesn't disappoint. I love your speculation, EvelynC! That was one thing about posting this story that I was really looking forward to: hearing everyone's guesses about where it was going. Thank you very much for the compliment, Female Hawk. And I promise that I do get them out of the cell--would I be giving too much away if I said that it will be a bit quicker than everyone's assuming? EmilyC, thanks for leaving feedback! I'm back, but I don't know how much I've actually fixed.  Deadly Chakram, I loved your comment about Lois being Clark's anti-Kryptonite! And seriously, I'm not trying to kill you. That's a lot of wondering, Stephnachia. I promise, things will be answered...eventually. :p Thanks for the feedback! Thanks for the lovely feedback, Gwen! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story. Again, thanks to all who comments!
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
Deadly Chakram, I loved your comment about Lois being Clark's anti-Kryptonite! And seriously, I'm not trying to kill you. No pun intended with your user name....okay, mabye just a little.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Because even then, even embracing him and feeling how much he had lost, I couldn't imagine Clark not being strong enough for me. He had always been there, always caught me, always backed me up. He had done such a great job of being my partner that I no longer knew how to work without one. That was why I had spent the past two months scarcely sleeping at all, pushing myself harder and harder to find the stories that used to appear all over the place, to write the articles that used to almost write themselves, to prove to myself that I didn't really need Clark Kent, the hack from Nowheresville that had subtly changed my life. Beautiful writing. Just beautiful.
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Joined: Jan 2011
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thanks, IolantheAlias! And, Deadly Chakram, I'm definitely starting to appreciate all these puns!
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
And, Deadly Chakram, I'm definitely starting to appreciate all these puns! Horray!!!!!!!! I'll do my best to keep 'em coming!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,947 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,947 Likes: 28 |
Catching up!  You know, I once thought you might be the one to eventually bear the name of Mrs. Luthor. Fortunately, the incentive to court you left before I could grace you with my ring and my name. Of course...I am tempted. But no. The very fact that you have no idea who shares a cell with you...well, that seems answer enough as to your worthiness. /Wipes brow/ I was really scared of that option Don't worry about your wounds, my dear. From what I saw earlier, you'll be well taken care of. That thing in the cell really does seem to have a soft spot for you. A good thing...for me. Every being, even super-powered ones, have their Achilles' Heels. Nigel?"  Anti-K, you weave a gruesomely fascinating tale.  I'm almost to worried to press on after each sentence. Yet I do, hoping it's just my mind that makes it so much worse Michael
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