The Absent-Minded Superhero
By Lois_Lane_Fan <y2kallman@yahoo.com>
Rated: G
Submitted: July 2011
Summary: Clark's duties as Superman cause him to forget
something very important.
***
It all started with a call in the middle of the night. Clark
picked up the phone and looked at the clock. It was 3:13 a.m.
"Do you realize what time it is?" he asked as he yawned. "Who
is this, anyway? Lois, this had better not be you waking me up in
the middle of the night again because you have a lead on a story.
I told you the last three times that any lead can wait until the
morning, no matter how juicy it is."
"It's not Lois," the voice at the other end of the line said.
"It's Mayson. Mayson Drake. I'm sorry I had to call you this
late, but I didn't want her to find out."
"Who?" Clark asked as he rubbed his eyes.
"Lois, of course," Mayson replied. "I have a lead for you, but
if I give it to you, you have to promise not to share it with
her."
"Why?" Clark asked. "She's my partner."
"I just don't like her, okay?" Mayson answered, sounding a
little annoyed. "I know you're partners, but you do write
separate stories, too, don't you?"
"Well, yes, that's true," Clark mumbled. "Okay, what do you
want to tell me?"
"I can't tell you over the phone," said Mayson. "We have to
meet somewhere, and it has to be a place where Miss Nosey won't
follow us."
"Fine," Clark said reluctantly. "She's asleep anyway, so I
doubt she'll be able to follow us, but I know of one place Lois
absolutely will not go . . . . "
***
A few minutes later, Clark was getting dressed to meet with
Mayson, and he heard a fire truck pass by. He ran over to his
window, spun into his Superman costume, and flew outside. Using
his telescopic vision, he realized that the Daily Planet was on
fire.
"Well, seeing as how I'm up already, I bet they can use some
help down there," Clark said under his breath. "Mayson will
just have to wait."
Superman zipped over to the Daily Planet as quickly as he could.
Once he was above the building, he hovered in the air for a moment, doing his best to assess the situation.
"First things first," he said to himself. "I need to put out
that fire."
Then, using his super breath, he blew towards the building, almost immediately putting the fire out. He subsequently flew around the building a few times just to make sure the fire was completely out. It was the middle of the night, meaning the building was probably empty, but the thought had
occurred to Clark that somebody might still be in the building anyways. Therefore, he used his x-ray vision to check inside. To his astonishment, he realized that Lois was in the building!
He immediately flew into the Daily Planet and stared down at Lois.
"Just what are you doing here so late?" he asked Lois
teasingly.
"Superman!" she screamed with excitement. "I'm so glad you
came. I had a tip on a story and was working on it here so I
could have it ready by morning. All of a sudden, a fire broke
out."
"Any idea who started it, or do you think it might have been an
accident?" he asked.
"I think it was one of the people I was writing about in my
story," she explained. "You see, what I have on them could put
them in jail for a very long time."
"I see," Clark said slowly. "But where is your partner, Clark
Kent? Surely, you'd share something like this with him,
wouldn't you?"
"Normally, yes. Well, maybe," she corrected herself. "But
it's really late, and I didn't want to disturb him."
"Uh-huh. I've gotta go, I think somebody else needs my help,"
Superman lied as he flew off and changed back into Clark Kent.
He then ran back towards Lois and called out, "Lois, are you all
right?"
"Clark," she replied. "What are you doing up so late?"
"Uh, I forgot . . . my . . . something . . . here and needed to
come get it," he stammered.
"Huh?" Lois replied. "What did you forget?"
"My . . . pen," Clark said, naming the first thing he saw on
his desk.
"This early in the morning, you felt the urge to come back and
get your pen?" she said in disbelief.
"I needed to write something down," Clark said sheepishly.
"And you only own one pen?" Lois asked curiously.
Clark was getting nervous about all these questions, so he
decided to change the topic. "If you want to get this story out
by tomorrow, we'd better hurry."
"Right!" Lois yelled, forgetting about the pen completely.
***
"This is amazing," Perry said as he read Lois and Clark's
story. "Corruption in the D.A.'s office. I can't believe it.
Clark, do you think your friend Mayson might be involved in any
of this?"
"Mayson? I doubt it," Clark said dismissingly. "Wait a minute!
Mayson! I completely forgot!"
Lois and Perry stared at Clark with an inquisitive look on their
faces, but before either of them could say anything, a ruckus
from outside in the newsroom stopped them. Clark ran out of
Perry's office and practically fainted when he saw Mayson
standing in the center of the room.
Mayson looked like a filthy mess! However, underneath the mess,
it was obvious that she'd taken the time to fix herself up a lot
before she had gotten so dirty. She was wearing a tattered little
black dress with a deep V-neck and a mini skirt. She was also
wearing black stiletto shoes, which were now drenched from muddy
water. In addition, she was wearing one big gold earring, but she
seemed to be missing the other one.
"You stood me up," Mayson said in a calm tone, but Clark could
tell she wasn't pleased. "That's bad enough, but did you have
to suggest we meet at the Metropolis Sewage Reclamation
Facility?!"
"Well, you said to meet somewhere Lois wouldn't go, and that
was the only place I could think of!" Clark said. "And I
definitely wasn't expecting you to dress like that! You didn't
think we were on a date, did you?"
Mayson stared at him crossly. "Of course I didn't think it was
a date! That doesn't mean I can't dress nice!"
"Mayson, I'm so sorry," Clark said timidly.
"I spent a fortune on this outfit," Mayson continued. "And
now, it's ruined!"
Other than Clark and Mayson herself, the only other person in the
room that didn't seem to have a smile on his or her face was
Lois. Normally, she'd get a kick out of misfortune for Mayson,
but she knew how Mayson felt from her own trip to the Metropolis
Sewage Reclamation Facility. Until now, she'd been standing by
silently, but she finally grabbed Mayson by the hand. Mayson
looked confused, not entirely sure whether or not Lois was going
to help her or make fun of her.
"Don't worry, Mayson," Lois said softly. "Clark did the same
thing to me once. I know exactly what you need to do."
"Really?" Mayson asked in disbelief. "You're going to help
me?"
"Of course," replied Lois. "I know a great place that can
clean and repair your dress for a reasonable price. I think we
might be able to save those shoes as well."
"You are a lifesaver, Lois," Mayson said as she put her arm
around Lois' shoulder.
"It's no problem. It'll take about three or four showers, but
you'll smell just fine once you wash off," Lois said as she
sniffed Mayson's neck. "I know you smell really bad, but I’m detecting a nice sweet smell on you, too. What is that perfume you're wearing? It smells amazing!"
"It's an ambered scent," replied Mayson. "If you like it, you
can have it. I don't want it anymore because I swear the stuff
attracts mosquitoes like crazy."
"Don't worry," Lois said as she inspected Mayson's mosquito
bites. "Lavender oil will help these bites a lot. If that
doesn't work, I've heard tea tree oil is really good, too. For
me, though, the lavender oil worked just fine."
As Lois and Mayson walked away, Clark and Perry watched in awe.
Here were two women that had always hated each other in the past, and
now, suddenly they were acting like best friends!
"Son, if you planned this in order to get those two to be
friends, I think you need to write a book or something," said
Perry.
"I didn't plan it," answered Clark. "Who could plan something
like that?"
Suddenly, Lois ran back into the newsroom. "Clark, you'd better
run down to the Metropolis Sewage Reclamation Facility and find
Mayson's other earring, or you'll have to answer to me!
Understand?"
"Yeah, I understand," Clark answered, still in shock.
Then, Perry added, "If you thought those two in the same room
together as enemies was bad, just wait till you see what it'll
be like if they stay friends after this."
Clark just continued staring blankly into space, not even answering Perry.
THE END
I'm not sure which is funnier, Mason's appearance or the idea of her and Lois becoming close friends.