|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
 That was my newest one. I have a few others that I will get around to posting.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
I love this story--you really captured the influence that Clark has on those around him, not as Superman, but as Clark Kent. Jimmy's part very nicely pulled out how much he did grow immediately following Clark's arrival. Lois's was sweet--I hope she finds the courage soon to tell him how she feels! Perry's was almost bittersweet, but definitely ended on a high note. And Clark's was perfect in how it paralleled Lois's and touched on how hard it was for him to open up and yet how much he wanted her to know him. Great start and welcome to the MBs--I'm glad to see you here!
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
Thank you very much, AK! It's nice to see you around here (and thanks for leading me here to begin with). Perry's was the hardest chapter to write. He's kind of hard to capture, what with all of his little sayings and all. And we really only get a few glimpses into his mind in the series, but I love a challenge so I had to write something from his perspective. Thanks again for commenting and for being around! 
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,686 Likes: 1
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,686 Likes: 1 |
Great story and welcome to the group! I love the idea that Clark brought Jimmy, Lois and Perry closer together. This line of Jimmy's cracked me up: And me? Forget it. She barely knew that I existed unless I was bringing a box of donuts past her desk. I could really see that. And this line made me smile: He's tried to hide it from me, but Clark isn't a very convincing liar. Love the insight into how Superman feels. People do have higher expectations of him: Do you know why Superman folds his arms over his chest so often Lois? It's because I'm self conscious in that suit. It's nothing more than a way for me to feel protected. But everyone else looks at that stance and sees it as proof that I am in a position of authority. Great story! Joan
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Very sweet from all sides. Nice job! laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
Originally posted by scifiJoan: Great story and welcome to the group! I love the idea that Clark brought Jimmy, Lois and Perry closer together.
This line of Jimmy's cracked me up:
And me? Forget it. She barely knew that I existed unless I was bringing a box of donuts past her desk.
And this line made me smile:
He's tried to hide it from me, but Clark isn't a very convincing liar.
Do you know why Superman folds his arms over his chest so often Lois? It's because I'm self conscious in that suit. It's nothing more than a way for me to feel protected. But everyone else looks at that stance and sees it as proof that I am in a position of authority.
Joan Thanks for the warm welcome! So far, I'm loving this place. Thanks for reading!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
Originally posted by Laurach:
Very sweet from all sides. Nice job! laura Thank you Laura! Thanks for reading!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384 |
Aww, this was beautiful. I loved it. To all the lines quoted above, I'll add this one: Even in the times when I've wanted to run, the times I've come so close to leaving, you've always held me tied to this place with bonds that not even I am strong enough to break. I really enjoyed reading this, and I'm looking forward to reading more from you. 
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
Thank you Vicki! And BTW - my name is Vicki too! I've got a few more that I will post soon.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1 |
Very well written, and great insight into all of the characters. Not a criticism, really--more of an aside. : I must put in a good word for the Jimmy/Lois relationship pre-Clark. If you go back and watch the pilot, I think you'll notice a low-key affection between Lois and Jimmy, sort of a kid-brother/big-sister vibe. It's clear that they have some kind of working relationship in the opening scene where Lois is coming back from breaking the stolen car ring and in the scene where Jimmy and Lois are breaking into EPRAD. We don't see as much of that closeness after Clark arrives-it seems that Clark becomes Lois's peer and Jimmy is still in the kid brother role, only now to both Lois and Clark. Anyway, I loved the detail and the way the four POVs meshed together seamlessly. And I really wanted to nudge Lois and Clark a little as they were kissing goodnight oh so chastely. 
This *is* my happily ever after.
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
Hmmm...good point. I think I've rushed too much in my recent reviewing of the show - I've actually had days where I've watched 6 episodes so everything is a little mish-mashed in my head. I guess I just wanted to illustrate how different Lois' relationship with Jimmy is (and his with her) pre-Clark and post-Clark. LOL! Keep this up and I might make you my beta-reader.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 88
Freelance Reporter
|
|
Freelance Reporter
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 88 |
I know this story is years old, but I loved it. Very interesting insights into the characters and their developments that really adds something to the show's story, and it's very well-written. All the stuff about Jimmy and Perry was very creative and insightful. I'm a little surprised that Clark would show such antagonistic and negative feelings toward Superman, and at first I thought that was going to be a big problem for me, but as I read more I understand you were trying to capture justified angst over his double life and Lois' feelings about him. Even though it's still odd to me in some ways, I still appreciate the depth that it brings to the character and I do understand his emotional conflict. I definitely prefer for this character to have some inner conflict. Overall it was just really excellent, thanks for writing
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
I know this story is years old, but I loved it. Very interesting insights into the characters and their developments that really adds something to the show's story, and it's very well-written. All the stuff about Jimmy and Perry was very creative and insightful. I'm a little surprised that Clark would show such antagonistic and negative feelings toward Superman, and at first I thought that was going to be a big problem for me, but as I read more I understand you were trying to capture justified angst over his double life and Lois' feelings about him. Even though it's still odd to me in some ways, I still appreciate the depth that it brings to the character and I do understand his emotional conflict. I definitely prefer for this character to have some inner conflict. Overall it was just really excellent, thanks for writing Hi, Talia! Wow, it's nice to get feedback on an older story! I haven't much thought about this one in a while. Glad you enjoyed it! I think the early Clark definitely had his moments where creating Superman seemed like a bad idea, especially during when Luthor was conducting all those "tests" to gauge Superman's powers. Not to mention how Lois drooled over the hero while ignoring the man. Glad to see you got where I was going with it! Thanks for the feedback! It made me smile today.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
