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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thanks to everyone who read and commented on the first one--I hope you like this one as much!
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393 Likes: 1 |
Hi Anti-K, I do like it as much as the first, possibly more so. I *could* tell you that...but it'd be a lie. You see, I never saw Lois a third time, or a fourth time, or a fifth; I only saw her twice. This line really pulled me up short. I started to wonder whether this were an alternate universe -- not alt-Clark's, since that isn't how they met -- but one in which Clark wasn't hired at the DP and he therefore never saw Lois again. That didn't sound like your style, but I nevertheless braced myself for a possible WHAM-my story. , in order for there to be a third time, I'd have to stop looking the second time...and that hasn't happened yet. And when I read this, I thought, "Ahhh... That's more like it!" Makes perfect sense. And I love Martha and Jonathan's reactions. I also like that none of Clark's masks can hide his love for Lois. The contradictions were great, too. Actually, I'll just say that the entire piece was  . Joy, Lynn
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Beautiful. I would love to see Lois's take on Clark in the same way. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
My favorite line - The reason I never saw Lois a third time...Well, you see, in order for there to be a third time, I'd have to stop looking the second time...and that hasn't happened yet. That *won't* happen.  That describes Clark's feelings perfectly. I like that this is from Clark's POV. You could do 2 parallel sense stories - one Clark's POV, one Lois's POV. So you think that Perry called Lois in to hear the story. I always thought it was that she wandered by, heard something she liked and just forgot to leave. I like all the images Clark has of Lois... her contridictions that only make him love her more. He notices everything. This is great! Can't wait for part 3.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,686 Likes: 1
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,686 Likes: 1 |
You've done it again. What an excellent story With the sense of sight, it would've been easy to get caught up in the physical but your story goes much deeper such as: Because I saw her regret when she spoke to her sister. I saw her compassion and integrity and wisdom when she spoke of the difference Superman could make. I saw her courage when, still covered in mud and filth, she announced me the winner and shook my hand. You've selected such wonderfully specific examples. I love that Clark doesn't try to sugar coat things. He recognizes Lois' short comings and loves her anyway. I always wonder when exactly Clark fell for Lois. Was it love at first sight or did it evolve over time? I like your take on their first meeting: She was a dream--not necessarily a romantic dream, just the epitome of excellence in a normal life. I wanted that type of confidence, that level of comfort with myself, that much respect for a talent that was wholly the providence of a *normal* me. What sense is next? Joan
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Joined: Jun 2010
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200 |
Aw! That was beautiful!  I second the motion for sight from Lois' POV--that could be very interesting--esp considering, you know, not knowing CK=S for so long  Beautiful prose! So poetic, and I love the idea of him falling in love with her at second sight. Bravo!! 
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way.
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 746
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 746 |
I also loved this piece!!! I also love all off the contradictions and the very specific examples! Looking forward to the next one 
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
Absolutely great! I'm eager for the next one!  Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
Poetic and astonishing. Great vignette.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702 |
Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thanks, everyone, for the great responses! I'm sorry I'm so far behind in replying, but it's been one of those weeks! I loved your reaction, Lynn S M, because I was hoping that sentence would make people stop and pay closer attention. There's not much new to these stories, so I've got to squeeze the moments for all they're worth. VirginiaR, I didn't think Lois would pause long enough to listen to anyone else's story, and I assumed Perry would think it was a great lesson to make Lois realize what she could have done with a 'touchy-feely' story. But that was just my interpretation!  I didn't want to get stuck on the physical side of sight, scifiJoan, so I'm glad you noticed that I was trying to go deeper. Clark's love for Lois is so much more than lust. Thanks for the compliments about poetic writing--not sure it's true, but I'm glad it conveys that impression!  I'm sorry to disappoint everyone who wants one from Lois's view, but I will say that the next one will be Lois's. Thanks, again, for reading and commenting! It helps me out more than you know!
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761 |
Hey there! Nice piece I'll go read the previous one too!
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
AK - You truly are an incredible writer. I loved this one, as I've loved everything I've seen you write so far. Some of my favorite lines are: I was an alien with a secret I flaunted before the world. She was an utterly enthralling collection of contradictions. Wonderful and insightful look into Clark's mind. Do you have (or plan to write) one from Lois' point of view? I'd love to see what she thinks about Clark - there's more than just second sight to her as she sees Clark in new lights several times - as Clark, as Superman, as Clark Superman Kent. Nice work!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thanks, Anna and Deadly Chakram! Getting feedback like this, it makes me hesitant to ask for more in later stories because I feel like I'm looking for flattery! Lois does see Clark in several different lights, part of what makes the journey of their love so remarkable, but Clark saw that her exterior was as much a façade as Superman, part of her yet a bit comprised, and so he understood her so much more quickly. Again, part of the reason I love the story so much! Thanks so much for the comments!
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