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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
I'm a bit worried about this story, so I'd really love to hear what you think. Thanks!
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200 |
No, don't worry! I think you explained the triangle of their relationship perfectly! And the way you fill in the thoughts from familiar scenes is right on! You describe Clark's thoughts just perfectly. Keep it coming!! 
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way. 
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393 Likes: 1 |
Well done! I especially liked: I want you to look at Clark with that starry-eyed gaze of admiration, and yet I want you to feel comfortable enough with Superman to call me a hack from Nowheresville. How can I expect you to understand my logic if even I don't? That really does summarize their early relationship in a nutshell. Joy, Lynn
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 746
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 746 |
Don't really know why you are worried - I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! Well done  And you explained that stage of their relationship perfectly! 
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 156
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 156 |
Wow! I think I'm the one gasping for air here! This was stunning! This piece breathes a whole new life, and and even greater, deeper intensity into the love Clark has for Lois--particularly at this relatively early stage of their relationship. I think it's sometimes easy to underrate his feelings for her, for the way he fell so fast and so hard. Love at first sight is wonderful, but it's the time invested in really learning who that person who's capture the heart really is that gives such a love it's real meaning, and I think this story showcases that process for Clark beautifully. In fact, I think this should be required study-material for anyone thinking about writing a Clark-loves-Lois story! Amazing-well done! Brava! Just gotta highlight my favoritest parts... But you know what, Lois? No matter how I pretend falling for you was done so fast I didn't have a chance to catch myself, I know deep down that I *chose* to love you. I saw you giving your life away in favor of uncovering the crimes of Metropolis and providing a better tomorrow, and I sensed someone who cares as much about injustice and cruelty as I do. I heard you denouncing the terrible acts that steal lives and hope and your tears as you confided in me how your heart had been broken. I felt your spirit shining through every one of your actions and your loneliness when you went home alone every night. And I looked at you--the woman that embodies all of that and a million more facets--and I *decided* to love you. Attraction can be ignored or denied or squashed, but I let mine for you grow and flower and put down such deep roots that now I don't think I could uproot it even if I wanted to. I think I feel tears pricking my eyes. This is just too beautiful! And this part is, without question, one of the best bits of fic I've ever read: "Okay, I won't," I vow solemnly, swearing myself eternally to you. "I'm here. I'm right here," I say for Clark. "I'm right here," I say again for Superman. Repeating himself to "speak for Superman" is just such a beautiful idea! I love it!
Love and hot fudge,
Bren Ren
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 186
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 186 |
Really enjoyed it! You captured the intensity of Clark's feelings so well. My heart really aches for him and the love triangle he's inadvertently created. Can't wait to read more and see what other scenes you tackle.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,686 Likes: 1
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,686 Likes: 1 |
Fabulous story! You do such a wonderful job fleshing out their thoughts and feelings at different points in time.
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,122 Likes: 1
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,122 Likes: 1 |
There have been times on these boards when canon Clark and Clark as represented in fanfic have received a lot of criticism for not telling Lois his secret quickly. It made for a great story (one we're still reading and writing about) - a love triangle with a compelling difference. However, Lois's snarky dismissal of Clark and simultaneous gushy crush on Superman made an early Clark-initiated revelation an impossibility. You have explained his incredibly difficult situation perfectly. For that alone, you deserve In doing so, you delved into tiny moments that are familiar and made them new by showing us them through Clark's eyes. It's not Superman.
It's Clark.
And I'm in love with you. That just makes everything more complicated for Clark. And beautifully expressed. Sometimes, I think I really am two different people trapped in one body. Either that, or I'm slowly going insane. Of course I read your work, I want to say. In fact, most of the time I help you write it. But it's different when it's Superman reading the words you put down on paper. And that, too, hurts. Yep.  I hate Superman. I hate him because he's perfect. I hate him because he's everything I'm not. I hate him because you adore him. I don't want admiration, Lois. I want love. I don't want obedience. I want partnership. I don't want unquestioning acceptance. I want teasing fun and comfortable companionship. Wonderfully well put. Corrina.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
This was very well written and wonderful. I loved all of Clark's inner dialogue. Terrific! Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597 |
Ohhh, very nice. I love this scene from Witness -- even after all these years, I still catch my breath at the way he holds and rocks her, and how she clings to him -- and you did it wonderful justice. Usually when fanfic authors use in-canon scenes like this, I'm left feeling like they didn't really add much to it, but this was different. I really felt like I was reading something original, with the scene just there for background. Nicely done! I'm definitely looking forward to the next three parts. Kathy
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thanks, everyone, for encouraging me with this story. I was concerned that it'd be a bit redundant since I mostly use dialogue straight from the episode, so I'm very glad you all liked it and found it interesting. That stage of their relationship--though nowhere near as sweet and cool as when they're really together--is so compelling and intriguing. I'm glad you think I did it justice. BrenRen, I don't know what to say.  I've never been so complimented in my life--it definitely made my day. Now, I just hope the other parts don't leave you disappointed. And I, too, really admire the way he went beyond the love-at-first-sight into knowing everything about her and trying to do all he could for her happiness. So glad you enjoyed it--thanks! Most of the time, I hate love triangles, but this one--a love triangle built for two, as I believe someone called it--is just amazing, definitely the best love story ever. I'm glad I managed to capture a bit of that. Clark is an incredibly complex character, so thanks for the comment about doing justice to his thoughts. I try not to write something from the show unless I can add to it. I've always felt Clark received too much criticism for not telling her earlier. After all, if he had told her from the beginning, we wouldn't have the show we all love. I wanted to explain a bit of why he couldn't tell her--so glad you agree! The Witness is my favorite first season episode, so I'm delighted that you liked the part so well. That scene is definitely one of the best--and I catch my breath too. Thanks, everyone, for reading and commenting. I appreciate your thoughts and help.
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 397
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 397 |
Wow how did I miss this story!??
The insight into Clarks' mind is incredible - you have it sooo right on. Love the dialogue from Witness, one of my favorite eps.
*runs to next chapter*
LOIS:I don't like you.
MAYSON: Really? Oh god, that is such a relief - I don't like you either.
LOIS: That makes me feel so much better
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Hey, glad you found the story and thanks for the comment. This is one of my favorite episodes too.
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384 |
Hi, Another late-comer here. This story was amazing.  I absolutely concur with BrenRen - "required study-material". Superman truly was Clark's "Catch 22". Well done!
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Hey, glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for commenting--and such a good comment as well. Really made my day.
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