Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Dating by Deception - 2/2

Questions, comments, and critiques can go here. Thanks for reading!

~Anna

Hey Anna -

So sweet! I just loved this set up and how instead of being irritated with each other or Jack, Lois and Clark just let themselves enjoy the date and each other and let it take them to the next step.

I especially loved how you showed the parallel of Lois watching the Ivory Tower while Clark was watching a ballgame. I could totally picture them in their respective apartments. Great job setting the scene.

One minor nitpick - from what I garnered, their date was on a Saturday night. Yet when they said good-bye to each other, Clark tells Lois he will see her "tomorrow" at the office. So unless they work at the Planet on Sundays, you may want to tweak this wording a bit.

All in all, a fantastic story. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.

Lynn

Hi,

Great story.

MAF

Very sweet story, Anna. I love how the upcoming dinner drove all other thoughts from their minds. Jack is not one of my favorite characters, but he played a very useful role here. And I feel sorry for him at the end - here he's brought L&C together, and he may face the entire Elvis library! That would take some time...

Further re Lynn's comment about the timing of the dates - it's also confusing because each of the notes, presumably delivered on Saturday since they refer to the movie "last night", state that the dinner will be "tommorrow night", which would be Sunday. Yet both L&C read their notes and look at their clocks and start worrying about getting ready for the dinner tonight, when it should be tomorrow for them... Just a minor tweak.

Very nice job.

Kathy

Aw that was great. Nice ending. You go Jack! Laura

Ahh.... very sweet! That was a really nice first date, and I loved watching Lois realize that *she* has feelings for him, and that he probably has them for her, too... just as well they didn't figure out the trick until after dinner, tho <g>

And the plot of that Ivory Tower episode sounded strangely familiar, somehow...

PJ

Awww!!

Nice!!

Anna

This is wonderful.
I enjoyed it immensely.

Tricia

Anna, this was very fun. I'm so glad you finished it and posted it -- just don't ever make us wait so long for one of your great stories again, LOL.

I, too, noticed the timing problems, so I'm glad other people mentioned it. You might all want to add in a reference to the fact that they are off for the weekend, since presumably they would have seen Jack at work the day after the movie date and asked him what the heck was going on. But that's a relatively minor problem (and an easy fix) in an otherwise fantastic story!

I LOL'ed at the plot to the Ivory Tower and I also enjoyed the sight gag of Jack playing Tetris while L&C were together -- "manipulating the pieces", indeed!

But I definitely didn't feel sorry for Jack getting called into Perry's office -- you do the crime, you do the time, LOL. In fact, I would have been disappointed had Lois not set up some type of revenge.

Great story!

Kathy

Anna,
I agree - wonderful story
ditto others
merry

LOL! The perfect revenge. And sooo Lois!

Very cute story, Anna. I enjoyed it.

aww - well worth the wait.
thanks for writing!

Anna, great ending to a fun story!!!

I have to agree with others that my favorite part was the imagagery of Jack getting stuck with Elvis's entire "discography"

I thoroughly enjoyed this "romp" Anna, thanks for sharing!!!!

S (who was fortunate to be part of the "process" and who you should all really blame for the "tardiness" of this part )

First, I'd just like to say, wow! Thanks for all of your wonderful comments! I'm really glad that people enjoyed this story, even though it took so long to come to completion. Thanks for reading!

Lynn, I'm glad the Ivory Tower/football game worked for you. That came to be one of my favorite parts of the story, so I'm glad you enjoyed it. And thanks for pointing out the mishap in the timeline. It was much worse, I assure you, before my BRs looked at it. For some reason I just couldn't keep track of what day was what in this story and I think my BRs are still . I'll fix that before I send it to the archive.

Maria, thanks for reading; I'm glad you liked it!

Kathy M, I'm glad Jack worked for you here. He's always been Jana's favorite character, and I like him a lot too. Thanks for pointing out (yet another) mistake in the timeline. I'm amazed that those are the only two left.

Laura, I'm glad you liked the story, especially the ending.

Pam, some of the Lois introspection was hard to write, so I'm ecstatic that you liked it! And yes, the plot of The Ivory Tower was a bit familiar...

Jose, thanks for reading! Yeah, Jack had good intentions, but that still won't get him out of the wrath of Mad Dog Lane. *g*

Tricia, thanks for the wonderful compliments , and thanks for reading. *g*

Kathy B, I didn't even notice the "manipulating the pieces" connection! Now that you point it out, the irony is hilarious! *cough* Oh, I mean, yeah, I meant to do that. *G* Thanks for your wonderful comments!

Merry, thanks for reading and letting me know that you liked it.

Ursie, I'm glad you liked the ending. I hadn't originally planned on a revenge, but one of my BRs hinted at it, and I'm really glad that everyone liked it!

Shells, thanks for commenting; I'm glad you thought it was worth the wait.

Shelley, thanks for commenting, but lest anyone think that you held up the story, I definitely was responsible for most of the tardiness. You are an awesome BR!

Well, now I feel like I've said "thanks for reading, I'm glad you liked it" so many times that it doesn't mean anything anymore, but I would like to reiterate how happy I am that people liked the story and felt comfortable pointing out its flaws. Thank you *so* much!!

If anyone else wants to comment, feel free!

~Anna

Great ending! After reading the first part I wasn't sure how you'd continue the story, and then how you'd manage to get them to take each other out on date. The whole set up was ingenious, and worked really well.

Loriel