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Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
YAY!!! Sara, you finished it!!!  And I love it! There were so many lines in here which made me almost well up with tears; I spent most of my time reading this with a lump in my throat. And then, in the epilogue: Twenty-nine years ago, I crash-landed on the planet I call home. But it’s not until tonight that I know exactly what that word means.
I’ve been travelling all my life just looking, searching, waiting for home. And I’m here. Finally. In her arms, I’m home.
I’m home. The perfect finish. Absolutely wonderful!! What a fantastic story, Sara! This is going straight on my Kerth list. Thanks for writing it!! Wendy 
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Nice end Sara  and with one hand :p Jose 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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Ohmigod. Sara, this was absolutely wonderful.  I would never have believed that you could have finished this off in just one more part - I was sure that this was going to be a prolonged angst-fest (which would have been just fine too, mind you...) I loved that you wrote the story in 1st POV for both L&C, so that we could experience the sheer gamut of emotions - sorrow, joy, confusion, despair, anger, regret - right there with them, as it were. A couple of things I'm a bit confused about... "The recoil alone would be enough to throw his aim off by at least a couple of feet... have you still got that bullet?"
My heart thumping faster, I pull it out of a concealed pocket in my suit. She pulls a face.
<snip snip>
Slipping the beeper, complete with bullet, back into my pocket, I gather her back up in my arms, holding her close to my chest, and take to the skies, heading for Metropolis. So is the bullet embedded in the beeper all along, or does he put it in the beeper during their conversation and you just don't describe that? It's not clear to me... No! I jump back as though I’ve been scalded, appalled at myself. Have I just been... did I just... I was... oh my God! Was I in Superman’s arms – and *enjoying* it – while Clark is barely dead five days?
<snip snip>
The connection with the comic-book superhero before me and the mild-mannered reporter who was ripped away from me, that night a week ago.
<snip snip>
"I should have told you straight after you thought I was shot. I should have told you in the weeks afterward."
<snip snip>
My home has grown dusty through the weeks of abandonment, when I hid at my parent’s farmhouse. So we have here a couple of indications that Clark "died" 5-7 days ago, but then later in the story you're talking about "weeks". Ignoring these two very teeny points of confusion, I absolutely loved it. I think I'm like Wendy, there can never be too many TOGOM adaptations for me.  Your images and descriptions are powerful, the revelation was wonderful, the conversation back at Lois' apartment where Lois explained to Clark how she loved *all* of him was just beautiful. There were so many passages that I adored, but this was probably my favorite part... My breath catches in my throat and I stare at him. “Are you saying... do you mean...”
“I love you, Lois,” he says simply, watching me. My bottom lip quivers and my eyes fill. He’s only confirming what he’s already told me, but it still means so much... so, so much.
“I... I...”
“I know,” he says in wonder, lifting his hand to finger a strand of my hair, passing it between forefinger and thumb.
“You know?”
“I know that you love me.”
“You do?”
”Yes.”
“How?” His hand has slid further into my hair, the other coming up to join it, as he lets the silky strands slip through his fingers.
“Why else would you have tried to... tried to... why else would you have done that? If not for love, then what else?” His voice has dropped to a hoarse whisper, and his forehead drops until it’s resting against mine.
“When I saw you do that, Lois, I knew what I’d done to you. I knew the pain you’d felt. I know the pain you’re feeling. I know. When I saw you falling off that ledge, I knew I’d have to tell you.”
His voice is hoarse, and I flinch at the amount of raw emotion injected into it. His hands are cupping my face, his thumbs stroking along my cheekbones in an expression so tender that my eyes mist over. Just awesome, Sara. Thanks so much. ![[Linked Image]](http://images.bravenet.com/brpics/smilie/heartbeat.gif) Kathy
"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
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Posts: 2,761
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Posts: 2,761 |
Wow, Sara! Fantastic!! I loved it!! Honestly, I don't know what I liked most. The revelation? The kiss? Clark's resurrection? I really can't decide. Also, I love your writing style. It sucks me in. Keep writing! AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Sara - just give me a minute to get myself together Lynn
You know that boy'd walk on water for you? Or he'd drown tryin'. -Perry White to Lois in Just Say Noah
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Very sweet Sarah. I loved it. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Pulitzer
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Sara This is beautifully written. Tricia 
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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Sara,
ditto others
wonderful story
merry
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hi, Beautiful story. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Sara,
I just finished all three parts. I didn't want to start until I knew you were finished!
I know it's been said, but I really appreciated the 1st person pov. Something different and very intimate, which was just perfect for this piece.
I don't think I ever get tired of TOGOM, but most especially when it says something new.
I was bothered by the idea that Lois would commit suicide. That was hard for me to buy. I'm not certain that is really in her character, as she is such a fighter.
HOWEVER, you made her despair very real and very eloquent. And I liked the idea that no two witnesses report the same thing, so why can't Barrow have missed?
Really nice.
CC
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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I was bothered by the idea that Lois would commit suicide. That was hard for me to buy. I'm not certain that is really in her character, as she is such a fighter. I agree with CC. Lois, IMO, is not the kind of woman to ever comtemplate taking her own life let alone do it.  That was the only think that jarred on me in your wonderful story, Sarah. Beautifully written and full of thought provoking issues. I'm so happy you were able to finish it.
Lois: Well, I like my quirks. I think they make me unique.
Clark: You certainly are unique.
Clark: You're high maintenance, you know that?
Lois: But I'm worth it!
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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 Wow, Sara! This is wonderful. I especially love the twist and new solution to TOGOM. And the first POV works good here. I'm not a fan of that, but it works good enough to get me addicted to this little story. So keep up the good work! I want to see more from your hand. Saskia
I tawt I taw a puddy cat!
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Hey guys Thank you so much for all of your lovely comments!  I'm grinning from ear to ear now Now, Kathy, in response to your questions - I'm an idiot <g>. All day at the computer, varying states of euphoria and pretty strong painkillers apparently don't mix... my brain was pretty fuzzy when I got my final draft back from Wendy, so that explains why all of these glitches are in there when they should have been taken out. I just skimmed too lightly. So is the bullet embedded in the beeper all along, or does he put it in the beeper during their conversation and you just don't describe that? It's not clear to me... This was originally the plan, but as soon as I figured out that it had been done already, I dropped it. Believe it or not, I haven't actually seen any fic it was done in [yet] but I didn't want anything in here that wasn't originally mine in the first place So we have here a couple of indications that Clark "died" 5-7 days ago, but then later in the story you're talking about "weeks". Again, just one of the plot holes I thought I had cleaned up. I didn't want to define the time too sharply: at first I had it at a few weeks, then a few days, and finally settled on just a week. Thanks for calling my attention to these, Kathy! The file is slightly altered now, so it should be clearer I was bothered by the idea that Lois would commit suicide. That was hard for me to buy. I'm not certain that is really in her character, as she is such a fighter. I agree with CC. Lois, IMO, is not the kind of woman to ever comtemplate taking her own life let alone do it. Wow, these really made me think, guys! I started writing this in a time when my own family was remembering some people close to us who had passed away - my sister, who died of SIDS eight years before I was born, and my uncle, who contracted bowel cancer and died in February of this year. What I wanted most of all to portray in this was the sheer devastation you feel when somebody close to you, somebody you really, really love and can't imagine living without, passes away - I wanted to give readers a view on what I felt Lois must have gone through in the aftermath of Clark's death. Her partner, her best friend, and in this fic, the man she has only recently admitted she loves. That's another reason why I wrote it from first person POV - and I'm really glad that people liked it! Consequently, I'm afraid I arrogantly didn’t even consider that suicide, or the contemplation of suicide, might be OOC for a person as strong-willed and determined to survive as Lois is. This is a very good point - I'm wondering now why I didn't see it before - and it has really made me think, so I have to thank you guys for bringing it up I can easily see how this could rub some people up the wrong way. However, it's my opinion that Lois was not in her regular state of mind in this ep - or at least, in part of this ep. In my experience, when you're faced with a tragedy, you go blank - you feel numb - you just... stop. I can accept that it doesn’t affect everybody like this, but I'm afraid that I've never known any other way of dealing with it - at least, not in the first few days, when it still hasn't sunk in. In TOGOM, the only thing I found jarring was that Lois could still go off, find the bad guy, help Professor Hamilton, and get herself into trouble just a day after Clark was shot. You can see it as sheer grit, courage, determination - or you can be jarred by it through your own belief that there wouldn't be anything going around in her head, even a week afterwards, except that image of Clark falling to the ground in front of her, as I was. So that is basically why I made her consider suicide - why I made her jump - and why I made her not get angry at Clark afterwards and make the situation [and the plot <g>] even more of a tangled mess. Thank you for this, CC and Xanabee! You've really made me think Sara.
Death: Easy, Bill. You'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation.
Meet Joe Black
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