~1993~
Lois climbed into the king size bed, feeling awful that Clark was sleeping outside on that uncomfortable sofa. But she couldn't very well invite him to share the bed with her now, could she? She knew that was asking for trouble. Yet, she had grown so accustomed to sleeping in his arms, she didn't know if she would be able to sleep without him. Though she had to try.
She flipped over on her side with a heavy sigh, feeling tears starting to threaten.
She needed Clark. She wanted to be back to her own future, not here in this awkward time when she was chasing Superman and ignoring Clark and was a complete wreck! Tempus was succeeding in torturing her. He had chosen the perfect way to destroy her emotionally and she resented it.
She pummeled the pillow in frustration and let out a grunt.
"Lois? You okay?" Clark called from the next room.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she called back, wishing her voice wasn't thick with tears.
A second later he knocked on her door. He must have heard her distress and supersped over to it. She stared at the door for what seemed an eternity, debating. She wanted him, *needed* him.
"Come in," she said weakly, but knew he would hear her.
He entered and sat cautiously on the opposite edge of the bed.
"Are you all right?" he asked gently, his soft voice calling to her heart.
She infinitesimally shook her head.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
She sighed heavily, bracing herself to try and explain the truth, at least partly, when he started explaining for her.
"It was that kiss, wasn't it? It freaked you out," he said, running his fingers through his hair nervously. "I'm sorry, Lois, really I am. I should have never have done that--" he stood up and began pacing around the room. She couldn't bear to see him so guilty, especially when he had absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.
"I--"she hesitated, trying to stop him, but not certain how she could. "Clark!" she finally called out to him, stopping his self-recrimination.
He turned to look at her, his hands loosely on his hips. He was wearing a t-shirt and sweats and looked so enticing, she felt her mouth go dry.
"I just feel guilty about you sleeping on that horribly uncomfortable sofa," she said without thinking. He looked at her, his mouth slightly gaping, obviously wondering if this was leading where he desperately wanted it to lead.
"And?" he managed to get out.
She felt her cheeks flame, knowing what was underlying his try for composure. "Well, you said the other night that it *is* a big bed. So... I agree. We can share."
Okay, she'd done it. She'd pushed their relationship just a little bit farther than it should go. She almost expected a pit of hell to open up and swallow her, but nothing happened.
She peered up at Clark who was taking out the extra blanket from the bureau.
"Thanks, Lois," he said simply. "That sofa is pretty uncomfortable. I'll sleep on the top of the sheet. You won't even know I'm here. I promise to be a perfect gentleman. "
She felt the weight of the bed sink as he made himself comfortable. She turned away from him, terrified that she'd launch herself into his arms if he gave any indication that he wanted her to.
"I know you will," she said quietly, facing the wall.
His hand hovered above her shoulder hesitantly, than landed in a gentle but quick little squeeze. "Good night, Lois."
"Good night, Clark," she said tightly. <<Oh, God, what have I done?>>
*-*-*-*
~1996~
Clark took Lois with him to scan the city and try to look for Tempus, but he feared it was futile. The fiend could jump time and space after all. The chances that he was lying in wait somewhere he could snag him were close to nil. Honestly, Clark just wanted to be in the sky, to try and get a grasp of his emotions. He wished he could have left Lois at the house, and do some thinking on his own, but he knew that would be asking for trouble.
He was freaking out, really. What if he was stuck with the old Lois? That would have been perfect three years ago, but now, after all they had been through together, they couldn't recreate that. His Lois was a different Lois, as different as if they were different people. But he still cared about this Lois, was attracted to her, and that's why he had the sudden need for a dip in the Arctic Ocean. She smelled the same, felt the same in his arms... but it wasn't *her.* And he couldn't let himself--or her!--act on their attraction. It was too weird and too unfair to both of them. Even with full disclosure, if he told her he was Clark, she wouldn't be the same Lois. No, he had to solve this and set things to rights. Fast.
He wished he had saved those plans for a time machine that HG Wells had left him the last time Tempus came to disrupt their lives. But he had destroyed them, thinking it was better to do so than let them fall into the wrong hands. Now he wished he hadn't been so prudent. He mentally started calculating how much of the old plans he remembered. He might be able to recreate a time machine, and he might also just create something that didn't work at all, or worse did something it shouldn't do. He needed HG Wells. It was that simple, and that complicated.
Clark flew over Metropolis, the city brighter from the abundance of Christmas lights. It was after midnight; there were four days till Christmas. It was supposed to be their first Christmas together since they got married. They were planning on flying out to Smallville, and Lois had been more open than she ever had been about accepting Christmas into her heart. Clark wanted to see that glow in her eyes, by the light of the tree at his parents' house.
"The lights are beautiful up here. I love watching the city from a distance, but it's especially wonderful at Christmas time," he said, wondering if he could prompt any openness about the holiday in this Lois.
Lois harrumphed. "Sure, they look pretty, but they are just concealing selfishness and commercialism."
"Someday you'll see that Christmas is much more than that," he said sadly, hating the pain she felt from all her disappointed Christmases and crushed hopes. It would take a lot more for the old Lois to see the beauty of Christmas, just as it had taken a lot more for her to see the real Clark.
"Well, I'll never like this holiday. It's always disappointed and it always will," she said, crossing her arms unhappily.
Clark sighed, knowing he couldn't change her in an instant... he had never wanted to change her, but only to love her, to show her that there was still good in the world. But this Lois was unreachable now, blinded by her own infatuation for Superman and driven to be a workaholic to get approval from a father she feared never loved her. It hurt him to watch her like this again, having come so far with the Lois he was married to... with the Lois that was lost out there somewhere in time...
All he wanted for Christmas was his wife back, which seemed impossible.
He used all of his Kyrptonian telepathic skills, reaching through time and space with one message: "Herbert George Wells, I need your help."
*-*-*-*
~1993~
Lois awoke in her husband's arms. She never grew tired of feeling those wonderful arms around her, keeping her safe and warm. It was one of her favorite places to be, cuddled close to his chest. Whether it was in bed or flying in the open air, she liked best to be cradled close to him.
"Mmm... morning," she murmured, snuggling in to his chest.
"Lois..." he said, half asleep, his arm automatically going around her, hugging her. "If this is a dream, then I don't want to wake up."
Those weren't the words of her husband. Those were the words of a man who wasn't used to sleeping by her side. Her eyes flew open and she quickly scooted away from him.
He sighed resignedly. "I'm sorry, Lois. I promised to behave like a gentleman..."
"You did, Clark. You didn't do anything wrong... you just... scared me, that's all," she said. <<More like scared myself,>> she thought.
Clark sat up in the bed, his hair looking delightfully rumpled. Lois clenched her fists in the sheet, resisting the urge to run her fingers through his hair. She scooted over just a bit more, distancing herself from him as much as she could without falling off the bed.
He ran his fingers in his hair for her and she suppressed a sigh. <<He's gorgeous and I can't do a thing about it.>> Clark looked at her a little shyly, "Lois, am I missing something here?"
"What do you mean?" she asked hesitantly, but she was pretty sure she knew exactly what he meant. He meant the way she couldn't keep her eyes off of him. He meant the way they had woken up together like lovers, tangled in each others arms.
She saw his jaw clench a little as he thought. He was resolving to say what was on his heart and Lois didn't know if she would be able to resist letting him.
"Don't, Clark," she said suddenly, trying to stop him before he poured his heart out to her or worse, she to him.
"Why?" he asked simply.
She hadn't prepared herself for that. She thought this old Clark would back down
immediately if she asked him to, but he seemed determined to confront her.
"Because... I ... don't think I can say what you want to hear," she ventured, not looking at him, knowing she was breaking his heart.
"Lois, why did you ask me to sleep here last night? And why... " he couldn't finish.
<<... why did it feel so right sleeping side by side?>> she finished silently for him, feeling horrible for confusing him.
He looked at her helplessly. "What is going on here? Yesterday you barely agreed we are partners and *maybe* friends, and now all the of the sudden it seems... well, is there more going on here?" he asked quietly, gesturing vaguely to the space between them.
She admired his courage. Especially facing the Lois that she knew he would be talking to during this point in their relationship. She wanted to tell him the truth... but would he even believe her? And what if there were consequences?
She sighed. At the same time, if she told him, maybe he could help her. He was Superman after all. If anyone could figure this out, he could.
She decided it was worth a shot. Besides, she suddenly realized that if there was any wrinkle in the time continuum, then it might signal to HG Wells that things needed to be fixed and he could find her! Maybe she *needed* to try and upset the time line in order to be found!
She sat up in bed, her pulse beginning to race as she realized she had to tell Clark everything. She turned to him to try and begin to explain. "Clark, look at me. This is going to sound really crazy and far out there, but I really need your help," she started earnestly, knowing she'd awaken the boy scout in him with that plea.
He sat up straighter, all ears, just as she expected he would. "What is it, Lois? You can tell me anything."
She felt herself melt a little at his open resolve to help her with whatever she needed. She loved him so much!
"You're right that things have been a little... less strained between us. There is a very specific reason why."
She sighed, hesitant. How to tell him and not make him think she's crazy?
She decided to start with evidence. Clark could understand building up a case, just as she would.
Lois held up her wedding ring. "See this?"
"Yeah, it's the ring Perry gave you for the stakeout. So?" he asked, totally thrown by her remark.
She slipped it off her finger and handed it to him. "Take a look at it. It's real."
He took it from her and read the inscription, "I've loved you since the beginning..."
<<...and I'll love you till the end,>> she mentally finished the inscription that was on Clark's ring, feeling her throat constrict with tears.
"So, he got you an authentic wedding ring?" he asked, puzzled.
"Clark, *you* gave me this ring. Or rather, you will give it to me," she said softly, all the emotion of what that meant to her evident on her face.
"What? Lois, you're acting a little strange here. What do you mean? This honeymoon thing is pretend, make-believe, remember?" he said gently, shocked by the depth of emotion he was hearing from his partner.
She shook her head, deciding to try another angle. "Look at me, Clark. Do I look exactly the way I looked two days ago?" she asked wryly. "My hair is shorter, sure, but don't I look just a bit older? Aren't I calmer? Don't I seem... married?" she asked, hoping he would see what was so obvious to her.
"Married?" he asked cautiously, turning the ring in his fingers as he contemplated it. "But... Lois... what do you mean, *I* gave you the ring?" he asked, knowing that he would darn well remember giving Lois a ring and *marrying* her, if it were true!
"The truth is Clark..." she took a breath, rushing out, "this crazy fiend sent me to my past. I'm from our future. From 1996," she said, not looking at him.
When she didn't hear a response, she turned to him, suddenly watching him carefully. She knew she sounded crazy, but now that she had decided to tell him, she had to make him believe her.
"Lois... what are you talking about?" he asked softly, feeling more perplexed by the moment. If this was a joke, he thought it was cruel, and he couldn't let her see what it was doing to him.
"I mean that we get married. In about 3...no, thanks to a clone and an alien invasion, actually 4 years. We go through hell together, Clark. But we get through it and end up together," she said honestly.
He watched her closely, perplexed and yet intrigued by the earnestness in her voice and by what she was telling him. It was unbelievable, yet he wanted to believe her. How wonderful to think that they get married?!
He froze all of the sudden, realizing he had a foolproof way to test if what she was saying was for real. "Then... do you know...?" he began hesitantly.
"That you're Superman?" she asked with a warm smile. It felt good to surprise him like that. "Yeah, I do."
"Really?" he asked, wondering if it were that simple. The secret that he protected so fiercely, could it ever be accepted so readily and openly as Lois seemed to accept it?
He sat staring at her a moment, then looked at the ring. Slowly, he handed it back to her. She grasped his hand as he did so, begging him to believe her, to reassure him. "Look, I know it's crazy. But, just to be fair, it's not everyday that men fly either."
He gave her a wry smile. "Good point. But, can you explain this all again, slowly?"
She didn't let go of his hand, but moved closer to him as she tried to explain. "I promise you this isn't some trick. Well, it is, but it was played on me, not you." At his puzzled look she tried again.
"There is this man, Tempus, and he's from way in the future. Apparently, you and I create this Utopian society and Tempus resents it. He met up with HG Wells who actually built a time machine--"
"The writer?" he asked, suddenly finding her story harder to believe. <<Utopia? Time machines?>>
She could see she was losing him. "Clark, think of it this way. What do we always say when investigating stories that seem so outrageous?"
"That they're more than likely to be absolutely true."
"Exactly. Look, I'm not making this up. Anyway," she said, more resolved now to tell him everything she knew. "Tempus, this gun-happy psychopath, took HG Wells hostage and has been wreaking havoc on our lives for the past couple of years. Just when we think we've got him beat---"
"Just one question... where are *you*? I mean, my Lois, from this time? I've read about Doppelgangers and theoretically it's possible that the same person can exist at the same time in two different incarnations--"
She squeezed his hand. "I don't know for sure. I think she's--my past self, is with my Clark. Well, you, in the future. But don't worry, *you* in the future, have experienced time travel before. I know he---*you* are working on a way to make it right."
Clark sat back, trying to absorb everything she was telling him. <<*My* Clark. She actually referred to me as *hers*...well, a version of me...>>
"Why tell me the truth now? Or more to the point, why did you *not* tell me sooner?" he suddenly asked.
She sighed with relief. "I guess that means you believe me?"
He nodded. "I think I have to. But you didn't answer my question."
She swallowed. "Well, again this is all theoretical, but *if* you manage to time travel, you can affect your future by interfering with your past. I was afraid of what could happen if I told you everything now. But then I realized that I *had* to tell you, in *order* to disrupt the time line... see, Wells has this way of knowing if our time lines get out of whack. He monitors the future and does what he can to protect Utopia. So, I figured if I said something and it caused a problem somewhere in the future---"
"He could track you down to this time and place," Clark finished.
She smiled, "Exactly. Besides, I let you sleep here last night and woke up in your arms... and you had some legitimate questions that I couldn't continue to ignore. And, you are my partner, no matter what, and I figured if anyone could help me figure this out, you could."
He reached for her, and she willingly fell into his arms. "Is it okay if I just hold you for a little while?" he asked softly as she made herself comfortable on his chest.
"Yeah, I think so," she whispered, closing her eyes, both of them imagining it was the Clark she was married to that she leaned on.
He gently stroked her arm. "I've dreamed so many times of holding you in my arms when I'm not in the Suit. I always hoped you see the man beneath. I guess it's a relief to know that eventually, you will and we get married. I mean, you do love me, right?" he asked, his voice vulnerable, rumbling under her ear in his chest.
She sat up and looked at him, trying to make him understand. "I love who you will be, Clark. We go through so much together in the next few years. The connection we have is eternal, yet it's those challenges in life that truly bound us as one. You are him, yet you aren't yet. Do you understand?"
"Yeah, I think so," he answered sadly, wishing time were more fair to him.
He settled back into the pillows a bit more, and Lois settled in to lay with him. They were quiet, both contemplating the future.
