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#72772 07/16/10 04:59 PM
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bobbart Offline OP
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love Probably a little over the top. love

Oh well... Feedback here please.

Bob

#72773 07/16/10 07:58 PM
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Smooth!! I really enjoyed your story. smile1

But I'm confused as to how Clark didn't realize their position, or else I am misinterpreting your description:
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As he opened his eyes to look down at her, he found that looking down was also looking up. They were floating near the center of his living room with their feet ever so softly brushing the ceiling.
Is it right that their feet were above even their heads brushing the celing?? confused

Thanks for a great ending for after "Fly Hard". thumbsup


EvelynC
#72774 07/16/10 09:30 PM
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smile1

Cheers
Elizabeth

#72775 07/16/10 10:31 PM
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Lovely, WAFFY fic!! And really well-thought out insight into the characters. I too am wondering about their position at the end. Sounds like they are upside down?? And for some reason I wanted to picture Fred Astaire dancing on the ceiling in Royal Wedding. It's a little cheesy and a little dated, but Clark does know how to dance, too! laugh

Fred Astaire: Royal Wedding, dancing on the ceiling


Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way. wink
#72776 07/17/10 01:37 AM
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Part two lived up to the promise of part one. Well done! I especially liked your angle on Lois liking Superman:
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Assuming that he is the criminal that you say, do you think I’d be more likely to be attracted to him if he had your abilities?”

“No,” Clark answered simply.

“Exactly,” Lois replied. “It’s not about the super powers. It’s about what you do with them.
I also enjoyed your twist on Clark's floating:
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Right here, right now, neither time, nor space, nor gravity had any hold on two people at the cusp of love.
Joy,
Lynn

#72777 07/17/10 04:00 AM
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Quick flyby...

EvelynC:
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Is it right that their feet were above even their heads brushing the celing??
Yes. Instead of simply floating up, this time they rotated 180 degrees.

elizabeth :
You asked about this:
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Lois, I'm more sorry that you know
You were right, the line was supposed to be
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Lois, I'm more sorry than you know
I can't believe I missed a typo with that level of impact on the meaning of the line. wallbash Thanks for pointing it out. It's fixed now.

I'll be back later with real comments. I just HAD to acknowledge and fix that typo ASAP.

Bob

#72778 07/17/10 04:52 AM
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These brownies are called "Over the top brownies":

[Linked Image]

They are characterised by a sweet gooey goodness, according to the recipe. I think your fic is a little like these brownies, Bob: sweet and gooey and just a leeeeetle over the top! At least compared with the fare you have served us in the past! laugh

But I'm not complaining, and I, too, love the up-side-down floating scene at the end of the fic! sloppy

Ann

#72779 07/17/10 06:57 AM
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No one died and Lois isn't pregnant. Loved it!


"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
#72780 07/17/10 11:32 AM
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Definitely lived up to the expectation created by part 1!

Loved how Lois deduced that CK=S but what Clark didn't say laugh

smile

#72781 07/17/10 04:22 PM
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Hi everyone,

This one was an interesting experience. Sometimes a story cooperates in every way but somehow it still isn’t what you envisioned. That was very much the case here. This is exactly the story I wanted to tell, but when I finished, it felt like there was something missing.

For me, the whole point of this story is that I didn’t see how that evening didn’t cause Clark to step up and find a way to tell Lois about Lex. This evening made it clear that they were getting close.

Even if he didn’t admit his feelings, he owed it to her as her friend to tell her what he knew. Even if a lot of the objective proof was missing, he’d seen enough to KNOW that Lex was crooked. He owed it to Lois to share what Superman knew.

So, I’ve wanted to correct that for a long time. I hope it was enjoyable. Thank you all for your comments.


EvelynC:
You and I have to get together and see about changing our avatars. I was reading FDK on another story when I saw the moon picture. My immediate thought was, “I don’t remember commenting on this.” Of course, it was you.

As for the heels-over-head position at the end, I figured that if just seeing Lois is enough to make him float, then actually holding her in his arms is more than enough reason to lose track of gravity entirely. I’m glad you enjoyed it.


Elizabeth:
Thanks for pointing out that error. Of course, he wasn’t sorry “that” she knew. I’m sorry to let such a confusing line get through.


mozartmaid:
My vision wasn’t that they rotated a complete 180 degrees. I visualized them as sort of “mostly” upside down at an odd angle. The point being that Clark had much better things to think about than his orientation to gravity.

Thanks for the link to the clip. It’s not the effect of dancing on the ceiling; it’s the artistry that Astaire uses to make the transitions. He does a beautiful job of making it look like he really is dancing on the walls and ceiling.


Lynn:
I’m glad you enjoyed it. One of the points that drive me crazy is that Clark doesn’t like Lois being attracted to him as Superman, but time and time again, she’s demonstrated that it’s the person under the suit that she fell for. All those speeches that she made – to Clark – about why Superman is special should prove that he should be proud to have her like the guy in the suit.


Ann:
I love the brownie pictures. I showed them to Bev and we are looking for a recipe. This one got away from me a bit. I think I’ve been eating too much sugar lately. In any case, thanks for the note. I’m glad you liked it.


SHJ:
You don’t like Lois pregnant? But motherhood is… never mind. I’m glad you liked the story.


DW:
Thank you. I prefer to think that Clark subconsciously wanted to tell Lois the truth. He wasn’t so much careless in part 1 as he was finding an excuse for himself to tell her what he lacked to courage to say more directly.


Thanks again everyone. I’ve been focusing on WAFFy shorts while I moved, but I think I need to have a little less sugar in my diet. I’m hoping to get back to a larger story with substantially more A-plot. With some luck, one of the larger pieces that I have notes for will see some progress in the near future.

Bob

#72782 07/17/10 04:47 PM
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And for some reason I wanted to picture Fred Astaire dancing on the ceiling in Royal Wedding. It's a little cheesy and a little dated, but Clark does know how to dance, too!
You know, I liked that movie too!

Re the "dancing on the ceiling" - how did they do it? This column explains it. Although they're talking about the same effect in the movie "2001".

#72783 07/17/10 06:40 PM
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awwwwwwwwwwwww. Loved this waffy little story. Laura


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

Caroline's "Stardust"
#72784 07/18/10 05:36 AM
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“But you never told me anything,” Lois offered in a less angry voice. “All you ever did was to say that you didn’t trust him. Even tonight outside the Planet tonight, all you said was to be careful. You could have least said something about having information from a secret, unimpeachable source that Lex was connected to criminal activities. That would have gotten my attention.”
You know, this was so very very sneaky clap

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Probably a little over the top.
Just a wee bit. And you did put it this way...
Quote
They were floating near the center of his living room with their feet ever so softly brushing the ceiling.
laugh

A fun read, Bob.

Michael


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#72785 07/19/10 02:12 AM
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Bob, baby I love you... but SHJ??


"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
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#72786 07/19/10 06:09 AM
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Hi Bob,
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You and I have to get together and see about changing our avatars. I was reading FDK on another story when I saw the moon picture. My immediate thought was, “I don’t remember commenting on this.” Of course, it was you.
I just think we both have excellent taste! But if you really see a problem, then I will change mine because I'm sure you had yours first. But let me know if you're serious about it bothering you. ?? wave


EvelynC
#72787 07/19/10 07:47 AM
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Great ending to the WAFF fest, Bob. I didn't even notice the "that" and read right through it.
I got the feet above the head and figured Lois didn't notice her position by feel (blood rushing to head) since she was in Clark's aura.
With regard to the "dancing on the ceiling bit" they had Dean do that trick in the pilot when he was at the Apollo hotel. It was well done.
Hope your move goes smoothly. We've been here so long, I'd be afraid to move.
cool
Artemis


History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
#72788 07/19/10 08:09 AM
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Originally posted by Artemis:
With regard to the "dancing on the ceiling bit" they had Dean do that trick in the pilot when he was at the Apollo hotel.
Not to mention the afterglow scene at the start of "Brutal Youth".

As an aside, is anyone else as amused as I am by the choice of hotel name -- "Apollo" being the Greek sun god, and the sun being the source of Clark's superhuman abilities?

Joy,
Lynn

#72789 07/19/10 11:58 AM
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In the pilot, Dean actually walked around all four walls of the room, like the Fred Astair bit. In Brutal Youth, Clark and Lois were - ahem- in bed on the ceiling, a more static shot and hence easier.
For some reason Apollo is a relatively common name for a flop house. I don't know why, except it's supposed to make something sleazy sound fancy.
cool
Artemis


History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
#72790 07/19/10 12:21 PM
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Hi Artemis,

I realized that the effect in Brutal Youth was easier to perform since they didn't need to have the room rotate and deal with all of the timings, etc., involved therein; but the basic effect was achieved in the same way - namely, that the room was set up to have a different orientation in RL than appeared on film.

"Apollo" may be a common name for a flop house, but the choice of it still strikes me as amusingly appropriate for Clark.

Joy,
Lynn

#72791 07/19/10 02:44 PM
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Hi Iolanthe:

I think I remember seeing a video of the Fred Astaire rotating room many years ago, but it's probably my imagination. I hope you enjoyed the story.


Laura:
I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the note.


Michael:
I've never seen the logic of the information that Clark kept from Lois about Lex. I mean, I know what it did from a story arc perspective but I've never thought it made any sense. That was an S3 or S4 episode that should have taken place. After Lois learned the secret, possibly after they were married, there should have been an episode where they are in a dangerous situation and Lois asks Clark to explain why he never told her about Lex.

Yeah, Lois played for a few minutes. But not overly long and not in a way that was mean. After all, she came over to ask Clark why HE never told her about Lex. The fact that she figured out his identity really was secondary.

I do fear that the WAFFyness got away from me a bit. Thanks for the feedback.


SJH:
I can't believe I did that. Um, excuse... Where is the excuse muse when you need them? How about this one, the reason I'm called Bob is that I can't keep the letters straight to anything more complicated than that? Or, how about this? Given that my first fic was written for the primary purpose of having Lois get pregnant, (and I ended the sequel to that story by having her pregnant again) your pregnancy comment left me flustered. While in reality there is an element of truth to both of those, the truth is that my fingers fired out-of-sequence and I just missed it. I'm sorry. I promise that if you choose to grace me with FDK again in the future, I won't make that mistake.


EvelynC :
I meant my avatar comment only in jest. Please don't think I have any problem with us having the same avatar. (I tend to agree that it demonstrates that we have excellent taste.) I have considered changing mine a few times but I haven't found one I like more. So please don't change yours based on my attempt at humor. Besides, based on our registration dates, you've been a member more than a year longer than I have.


Hi Artemis:
Based on what Clark does when he's floating, I was thinking that gravity would lose all meaning. When they are hovering like that there is no up or down. It would have to work that way for the scene in “Brutal Youth.” Think about the behavior of the sheets in that scene. For them to be in that position on the ceiling and not have hair, sheets and... um... other things dangling, then gravity would have to be completely neutralized in that area.


Artemis & Lynn:
If I remember correctly, Clark only walked on one wall at the Apollo. I don't remember him doing a full Fred Astaire 360. As for Brutal Youth, that was a much simpler shot. Per my comments above, I would have been more impressed if the sheets were dangling.

And Lynn, I never made the Apollo – Sun connection. Nice catch.


Again, thank you for your comments.
Bbo

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