Chapter 24: Lovin’ Someone in Vain
Blue river,
It winds along a path of heartache and pain,
Of broken dreams from lovin’ someone in vain.
--“Blue River”
****
A few weeks passed. Superman was still a big success, and all of Metropolis—except, of course, for the criminal element—loved him. Lois even stole a story about him from me. As payback, I sent her through the sewers on a wild goose hunt. Soon after that, Perry paired us together as partners permanently, and she evinced a grudging respect for me.
Since we were together even more often, I had to run out on her with dumb excuses more frequently to perform Super feats, and I began to feel guilty. In fact, I felt so bad about it I even asked my dad how to get a subscription to the Mineral of the Month Club, which he used to be subscribed to. I even brought my first rock—Lazurite—to work to show Lois. But even with such a small shred of proof that I wasn’t utterly flaky, I had the feeling Lois would have been furious at me were it not for her frequent meetings with Superman. For some reason, my superhero persona could always put Lois in a good mood. I wanted to tell her as Superman that there could never be a relationship between us, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. She hadn’t made any obvious overtures—hadn’t even tried to hug me—and there was a small part of me that wondered if she really did have a crush on Superman. However, that small part of me was usually smashed when she started happily exhorting the superhero’s exploits.
At Superman’s request, Dr. Klein made a special device for Krypto. We attached the device to Krypto’s collar. I—Superman—would then press a button on a homing beacon disguised as a thin watch hidden under the sleeve of my suit. The device on Krypto’s collar would then emit a frequency that only dogs could hear, and it would increase in volume the closer he got to my watch. By having this system, I wouldn’t have to pick up Krypto if I were busy as Superman, but I could still call him for help. I had to first teach him to jump off the balcony (I installed a doggy door so he could get outside), and he learned what he was supposed to do quickly. One perk of this system was that he could let himself out to answer nature’s call if I wasn’t home for a while.
I was feeling good about where I was in life. I just wished Lois would drop her obsession with Superman.
“You should have seen him with those orphans—he was just amazing,” Lois was telling me as we returned to the Planet from a boring morning press conference.
Casting around for ideas to get her to stop her gushing, I finally said, “Five bucks says you can’t name all nine planets.”
“You’re on,” she said eagerly. “Earth. Mars. Mercury. Jupiter. Saturn . . . Venus . . . Uranus . . . ” She frowned in thought; she was holding up seven fingers. “Saturn?”
“You already said that.”
“Neptune!” she exclaimed, her fingers curled back down. “That was nine, wasn’t it?”
I smirked. “No, that was eight.”
She placed her chin on her head. “Oh, I know this . . . . ”
“Five seconds . . . Four . . . Three . . . Two . . . ”
“Mercury? Mars? Neptune?”
“Ennhhhh. The last one was Pluto.”
“Pluto! I knew that. Try me with something else.”
“All right.” I crossed my arms in amusement. “Twelve Days of Christmas.”
“A partridge in a pear tree. Two turtle doves. Three French hens. Four . . . swans a-swimming?”
I shook my head. “That’s not what the four goes with.”
Lois tapped her fingers on her desk. “Five golden rings,” she sang to herself. “Four calling birds!”
“Good,” I smiled. “Or colly birds, if you want to talk about how they’re black.”
She rolled her eyes. “Seven swans a-swimming. Six geese a-laying.”
“Go on.”
“Eight . . . um . . . ”
I grinned. “Giving up already?”
“No!” she declared defensively. “I just need some time to think. Twelve pipers piping?”
“No.”
“Twelve . . . lords a-leaping?”
“No.”
“Twelve . . . maids a-milking?”
“You can’t just keep guessing,” I told her, wagging a finger at her. “You have to be able to sing the song properly from twelve.”
“On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . twelve drummers drumming!” she exclaimed in excitement. “Eleven pipers piping, ten lords a-leaping . . . ”
“And . . . ?”
I could tell she didn’t know the ninth one, so I prompted, “Five seconds. Five . . . four . . . three . . . two . . . one. Nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking.”
She slammed her fist on the table. “I knew that one, too!”
“No, you didn’t,” I laughed. “You can’t stand to lose, can you? That’s ten bucks you owe me.”
“Give me one more chance to redeem myself,” she demanded. “Dwarves, reindeer, anything—throw it at me, and I’ll get it.”
I raised an eyebrow. But she looked so earnest that I couldn’t say nay. “All right,” I acceded. “If you win, I’ll drop the ten dollars you owe me. But if you fail this time, you have to go to a movie of my choosing.” As soon as I made the suggestion, I knew it was foolish, but it was too late to take it back.
Especially when Lois agreed: “Deal.”
I tapped my finger against my chin as I tried to think of a category. Finally, I had one. “Seven Deadly Sins.”
“Greed. Sloth. Gluttony.” She paused. “Envy. Umm . . . Obesity?”
“That falls under gluttony, Lois,” I said with a snort. “Nice try.”
“Anger?”
“Close.”
“Wrath!” Lois realized. She looked up at me with a big grin, only to falter a little as I met her eyes with my own. She licked her lips, a light flick of her tongue that left them glistening with moisture, and then said in a quiet voice, “Lust.”
I averted my eyes. My heart was out of place—I was pretty sure it was in my throat. “And the last one?” I asked hoarsely.
She drummed her fingers against her desk, but the energy that had been behind our conversation had dissipated like dandelion seeds in the wind.
Finally, I told her, “Pride.”
“Pride,” she repeated to herself quietly.
I cleared my throat. “We should, uh, go to the movies Saturday night.”
She shook her head. “I can’t. Lex and I are going away to a cabin for the weekend.”
I felt a spike of something suspiciously like jealousy. Luthor had probably wanted to go to a private island, and Lois had probably made him tone it down.
Still, my voice was level when I replied, “That’s fine. Some other time then.” I gave her a smile and then turned to my desk.
I didn’t specifically hate the wealthy man; I mostly just felt a general sense of unease around him. There had been a few suspicious attempts to test and perhaps kill Superman, but I didn’t know if they could be tied to Luthor. I was grasping at straws. But this ridiculous envy of mine had to stop. I could never be intimate with a woman, much less marry one. I had to put a check on my emotions.
****
Later that afternoon, Lois approached my desk. “It’s time for that Key To The City ceremony,” she reminded me.
My eyes widened. I had completely forgotten about that. Superman was supposed to receive the Key To The City from Lex Luthor out in front of the Planet. “Uh, you go on ahead—I’ll catch up to you.”
“Suit yourself,” she said as she grabbed her coat.
I left soon after she did, ducking away from the Planet into an alley to change into my Superman guise. I was beginning to feel nervous. A great crowd had formed outside, and there was Superman and Krypto memorabilia everywhere. T-shirts, dolls, mugs, postcards, cardboard cut-outs . . . Any tourist-friendly item that could have a Superman logo slapped on it was for sale. And cameras were out there in abundance. It seemed no one wanted to miss a surefire chance to get a picture of the superhero.
I had to pause and breathe and remind myself why I was there. I was there to show people I cared. I was there to help people. The celebrity status was just a byproduct, a necessary evil.
As I flew above the crowd and landed on the platform, I saw various important Metropolis citizens and past recipients of the Key To The City. The crowd went wild as I landed, and I tried to ignore their noise as I shook the hands of the people on stage. My final handshake was with Lex Luthor. I nearly squeezed a little harder than was necessary, but I reminded myself that Lois was dating him and I needed to behave. I was Superman, not Superchildish.
Luthor moved to the microphone and spoke with the ease of someone accustomed to the public eye. “My good citizens of Metropolis, please, let’s all give a round of applause for Superman.” He paused to allow people to yell and clap. When they quieted down, he began speaking again. “He came to us as a strange visitor from another planet, but now he is one of us. His good deeds have caught the eye of all, and we are truly thankful for what he has done. As last year’s recipient of the Key To The City, I am deeply honored to be able to pass it on to such a worthy person as Superman.” He smiled and took the Key off his neck and handed it to the mayor. As he moved away from the microphone, she stepped toward it.
“Thank you, Mr. Luthor,” the mayor said warmly. “It is with great pride that I proclaim this day Superman Day and that I offer you this precious gift: the Key To The City.”
I took a step toward her, and she placed the ceremonial object around my neck. The crowd burst into applause, and I gave them a shy smile. Inhaling deeply, I stepped up to the microphone. If the cameras had been flashing like excited lightning bugs before, it was nothing compared to what they were doing now. “Thank you. I—” I cut off as I suddenly realized I didn’t have everyone’s attention. The crowd’s glee turned to horror as people turned to look at the roof of a nearby building. A woman was standing on the edge, and she looked as if she were about to jump.
“Excuse me,” I murmured into the microphone. I zipped up to the rooftop behind the woman. I could forcibly move her onto the ground below, but I didn’t want to scare her. “Miss,” I said softly.
She turned around to look at me, fumbling with her watch. “Superman . . . ”
“What are you doing up here? Please move away from the edge. Whatever’s wrong, it can’t be bad enough to take your life . . . . ”
She nodded and stepped away from the ledge. “You’re right, Superman.”
We walked forward, moving out of the crowd’s sight. She stopped behind me, and I turned to look at her.
My head suddenly started to hurt, and I closed my eyes and grabbed at my temples. Meteor rock. My eyes shot open, and I swiveled around. The man who had come into my apartment with a warrant was approaching me with several other men. He was holding a large green stone and a handgun which I feared had meteor rock bullets in it.
“What . . . do you want?” I gritted, fighting the urge to go down to my knees. I didn’t want him to see how much he was affecting me, though pretty soon I would have no choice.
“What is your mission on Earth?” the man asked me.
“Mission?” I repeated, still standing.
He got closer to me, holding the meteor rock out toward me. “Your mission. You are the advance guard for an alien race. How many of your people are going to attack? When are they going to make their move? How much do your people know about Earth?”
I tried to back away from the stone, but my legs wouldn’t hold me any longer, and I fell to my hands and knees. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I managed, looking up at him.
He gave me a tight smile. “Just as I suspected. The radiation from periodic element 126 does have an effect on Kryptonian physiology. Pick him up.”
Some of his men stepped forward and grabbed my arms; I was too weak to fight them. They started to drag me toward the door that led toward the stairs, and the man in charge turned to talk to the woman I had thought was a jumper. She had obviously been planted.
The door opened before we reached it, and I looked up to see Constance—the last person I would have expected—taking a quick survey of my situation. The men holding me dropped me and fumbled for their guns. Their leader noticed the commotion and turned with the intention to shoot Constance.
But Constance whipped out her pocket watch. Knowing what she was doing, I immediately closed my eyes so I wouldn’t be affected by her hypnotic powers of persuasion.
“See the watch and only the watch. Hear my voice and only my voice. Your mind is clear. Your will is gone.”
I kept my eyes closed, but I realized she must really be a master of hypnosis if she was able to hypnotize so many people at once.
“Move all of that harmful rock away from Superman,” she commanded them.
Feeling it was finally safe to open my eyes, I did so. I watched as they followed her orders. The relief I felt as the meteor rock was moved even further away from me was almost palpable. Still, I felt tension of an entirely different kind.
Constance spoke again. “If you ever learn Superman’s real identity, you must immediately forget it.”
“What?” I gasped, looking at her in surprise.
“Go stand over by the ledge,” she commanded, not answering me immediately. After giving them time to move away, she told me in a low voice, “Clark, I know you’re Superman.”
I had a brief moment of fear in which I wasn’t sure what persona I was in, but after looking down at my suit, I got my bearings back and said calmly, “What makes you think I’m Clark?”
Her voice sounded sad. “I was so devastated when you left Africa, Clark. I tried to bury myself in magic, but there was still this gaping hole inside me. And then when you told me at the Magic Club that you never wanted to see me again, well . . . . I tried to tear myself away from you, to think about other things, but I couldn’t. So I bugged your apartment, hoping that watching videos of you would be enough. And then I learned about the meteor rock and your secret identity. I destroyed the tapes after I watched them, but knowing you were Superman made me so happy. I was able to see pictures of you as him in the paper—and I could read stories you had written. I came to the ceremony today to see you . . . . And when I saw that jumper, I knew you would go save her, so I rushed into the building in hopes that I would be able to talk to you again. I knew you didn’t want to see me—but I wanted to see you . . . . ”
“Constance . . . ” I didn’t know what to say. She had utterly invaded my privacy and left me feeling vulnerable and exposed. If she could do it so easily, so could anyone else. But was Constance wholly to blame? “I think you need to seek some . . . professional help.”
“Clark, there’s no saving me,” she said with a sigh. “I am deeply in love with you, and every day that love just grows. I know you can’t reciprocate it. I don’t want to believe that, but I know it. Still, that love is what makes my life worth living—I read your exploits in the paper, and I’m inspired. With anyone else, I could easily have turned to despair and hate. My lack of recognition as a magician could have made me turn to violence and murder. But my love for you keeps me from that. And now it’s time to save you. I will make it so these men will never be a threat again.”
“Constance, I thought you said you were turning away from murder?” I queried in an elevated voice, about to panic.
“I’m just going to command them never to harm you,” she told me.
I shook my head, sure I wanted no part in Constance’s magic. My life was already complicated enough. “No,” I said firmly. “Please, just hold them while I go get some rope. These people need to be turned in to the authorities.”
She hesitated. “All right.”
I flew off and got some rope, and then I tied up all the still-hypnotized men. When I was confident they wouldn’t be getting free, I looked at her. “Constance, I appreciate your saving my life, but I don’t want to see you anymore. Please, get the police, release them from this hypnosis, and then don’t come back.”
I felt cruel saying those words, and I knew they hurt her. But she was a part of my past that I had to leave behind if I was ever going to move forward.
Perhaps she knew that as well, for she just nodded slowly before turning and leaving. I thought then that I would never see her again. And though I was wrong, I lowered my head in sad acknowledgement when I heard the words she whispered as she left the rooftop: “I love you, Clark.”
