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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
It's the White Orchid Ball!  Time for some fun!
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 470
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 470 |
Well written. I admit my preference is for alternate beginning stories that depart more from canon, so I'm having trouble coming up with feedback on this one--I'm still waiting to see where it is going to go. I'm trying to see how Lois's widowhood is affecting the story, especially her reaction to Clark. I'm going to have to go back and reread the previous chapters to see how their relationship is building, and also to see if you are doing something different with Jimmy's character here--he's still just a minor character used to move the plot along, but he doesn't seem quite the same as the Jimmy we know. Also, while Clark's first person POV is still a little disconcerting, I think it also gives you a chance to bring out certain parts of his personality, some wit and humor that don't always come through in the third person, so that is a good thing.
Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,018
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,018 |
The politician was arrested for corruption and executed by the Chinese government about three months after I met him.” Hmm, did Clark write some articles exposing him?
Framework4
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,989 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,989 Likes: 28 |
I enjoyed the subtly different tone. Had almost forgotten about Cat, though. Wonder how Lois is going to react to her friend hitting on her rookie partner  Michael
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
Thanks, y'all!
C-mom, sorry to disconcert you. I tried converting Clark's 1st person to a 3rd person when I first started this tale, but I quickly wrote myself into a bog. Just couldn't do it.
As for Jimmy, he's pretty much as he was in the pilot. I felt like Lois needed Cat as a friend and not a competitor, but other than that most of the other characters are pretty much the same.
Framework4, maybe Clark wrote something, maybe he didn't. And maybe he wrote something and was surprised by the consequences.
Michael, we'll see how Lois reacts pretty quickly.
Next part up soon!
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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