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#69396 02/07/10 05:49 PM
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Excellent fic! It was good to see Lois transforming from the "get-the-story, Mad Dog Lane" to the more nuanced and knowledgeable Lois who saw what Clark was talking about. Well told.

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Kerth
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clap Delightful, completely delightful. clap
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“Do you have your calendar?” she quietly quipped, although her voice was too steady for much humor. “Mark it down. I was wrong.”
clap
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He may not appreciate it now, but would likely thank her in the future when there was photographic evidence of his humanity. She used up the entire roll, taking pictures from every angle, including both close-ups and shots which included the plethora of machines he was hooked up to.
More please grovel


Framework4
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This is not how I want to think of Lois, but you made the story of her transformation very believable. There is a movie called "An Education" about a 16-year-old girl who tries to get what she wants out of life, without thinking about the consequences. Well, Lois isn't 16 years old, and she wasn't trying to get the same things that the girl in the movie was trying to get, but still - this was "An Education", Lois.

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Ann

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Great story!

Especially the last line.

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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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What a great fic! I like what you made of my ideas. Honeymoon in Metropolis without Lois and Clark knowing each other at all is a very interesting idea, that I'd love to see explored.

Great writing, Elisabeth!


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BJ Offline
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Wow, Elisabeth. That was well done. It was intense to see early S1 Lois discover Clark's secret and I found myself half covering my eyes while reading. Descriptions of Clark, Martha and Jonathan's reactions were well written, as was Trask's mania.
Quote
“Oh, Lois!” she muttered miserably to herself. “Do you know what you’ve lost?”

“Not as much as I have.”

“Huh?” Lois whirled to see him standing there, the Flying Man. He looked utterly miserable, so much so that she needed a mental kick to remind herself that he was just a story.
Wah! This mental image gave me lip-wibbles.
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BJ

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That was a very different take on the early S1 episodes and I did wonder how the details played out that you hinted at while I was figuring out the plot you've set up.

Lois's coming around was well portrayed and this one had me grin:
Quote
“Do you have your calendar?” she quietly quipped, although her voice was too steady for much humor. “Mark it down. I was wrong.”
But it's also a nod to how far she's come, given how she's willing to not just hide Clark's secret but admit she was wrong.

Nice alternate beginning, Elisabeth smile

Michael


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Elisabeth,

My apologies as I don't have time to leave any detailed feedback, but this is wonderful. I loved your alternate beginning and how you wove several canon storylines together and made it your own.

This was a great tale of Lois' personal growth and I can just imagine what this means for Lois and Clark in the future.


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