***~~~***
When the Sky Falls
Chapter 6: Emotions
***~~~***

By the time Clark had dressed and gone through the hospital release procedure, it was 5:30 am. Because of his amnesia, his head had been thoroughly examined and he’d been given a series of cognitive tests. The hospital was feeling the stress of the riots from the previous night and they were eager to have his bed free. Since all of these tests had turned up negative and Clark showed no other symptoms, the hospital physicians provided a reference to a memory specialist in the city and released him to Lois.

After getting dressed, he stood in front of the mirror in the small hospital bathroom when he noticed the stubble on his chin. As with everything else, he didn’t specifically remember shaving, but knew that he wanted to be clean-shaven to go out in public. One of the ER orderlies was able to get him a hospital shaving kit and by the time he was ready to leave the hospital with Lois, he looked like a man who, although he’d been through a wringer, was ready to face the day. The skin of his face didn’t like the safety razor from the kit, but he had enough scrapes already that the new ones from shaving didn’t seem that bad.

A few minutes later, he was out of the hospital and walking with Lois toward her car. She had been quick to recover from the inadvertent revelation of his feelings and he was thankful that she still seemed to be so comfortable around him. They had just reached the parking lot when Lois turned to him and asked, “Clark, would you like me to take you to your apartment? I need to get to the office and see what’s going on.”

The mention of his apartment had no draw for him. Thinking about it revealed no memories, not even an emotional reaction. Being around people seemed to be infinitely more attractive than being alone. “I’m not tired at all,” he said. “I slept some when I was at the hospital. I’d rather be around people. You said I’m your partner at work. Can I come with you?”

“Clark, you said yourself that you can’t remember anything. I don’t think you’re going to be at your peak as an investigative reporter. Wouldn’t you rather rest and let those burns start to heal?”

“I’m really not tired and I meant it when I said I didn’t want to be alone. If nothing else I can get you coffee and…there’s something else. I can feel something but I can’t find the memory. There’s something about my bringing you some kind of food.” It was so frustrating. So many things were like memories of memories. He knew there was something there but no matter how hard he tried, the real memory wouldn’t come.

Lois looked thoughtful for a moment. “Well, when the doughnuts arrive you almost always make sure to snag a chocolate-covered one for me.”

That felt so right. “That’s it,” he declared. “I still don’t remember, but when you say it, I can tell that’s it.” Clark concentrated for a second. “I think I have it. I make sure you get the best chocolate doughnut in the box. So, how about it Lois? I’ll find a way to make myself useful.”

She looked almost convinced. “Are you sure? You still look pretty beat up.”

He tried his best smile. “I’m sure. I really don’t want to be by myself. Let me try to be useful. If nothing else, I’ll have the chance to interact with people I’m supposed to know and maybe it’ll help me remember.”

That seemed to do it as Lois smiled back at him. “Okay, Clark, I’m convinced. You have to promise that if you start feeling tired, dizzy or anything like that you’ll tell me so I can take you home.”

Clark was relieved. For a moment, he was afraid that he was going to have to beg. He *really* didn’t want to be alone. “I promise I’ll tell you if anything starts.”

She gave him a look that made him think that she only half-believed that he would admit to any problems. “I still think you should go home and rest, but fine, let’s head for the office.”

***~~~***

When they arrived at The Daily Planet, most of the people made a point to welcome him back. The first few times were awkward since he didn’t recognize any of his friends. However, it only took a few minutes for word of his amnesia to spread, and thereafter people were more cautious and made a point of introducing themselves. None of the faces looked familiar, but he continued to have that strange emotional connection with some of the people that greeted him. No names came to mind, but he had stronger reactions to four people. He didn’t know what Ralph had done, but he was the first person that Clark had met where he felt a genuine negative reaction. It wasn't very strong, but he got the impression that he didn't think too much of this man. Jimmy Olsen had evoked a feeling like he might expect for a younger brother. When he met Perry White, his reaction was one of respect mixed in with a mild affection. Those all made sense.

Unfortunately, the most memorable meeting was with Cat Grant. He had been in the office for less than ten minutes and had met many of the staff when a woman charged him and threw her arms around his neck.

“Darling, I was so worried. Are you okay?”

Darling? He didn't remember much of anything, but the memory of his own use of that word was all too fresh. There was no doubt in his mind that Lois was the only woman that he wanted addressing him with that term. With as much tact as he could muster he disengaged her arms. “Please Miss...?”

“Cat,” she answered. Then she lowered her voice to just above a whisper. “Clark, honey, don't tell me you don't remember me. We've kept it kind of quiet but we're…involved.”

The sly smile told him exactly what kind of ‘involved’ she meant. When he had seen this Cat person approaching, he did detect an emotional reaction. However, it was one of amusement mixed with mild distaste. He couldn't imagine that he would have that sort of reaction to anyone that he was having any sort of relationship with. What was going on? He was sure that if he really was in any relationship, even a secret one, he would feel some level of affection. For Cat, the emotional clues were confusing. Mixed in among the other feelings was a sense of frustrated irritation. Then he had it! This was a woman who played games. At this realization, Clark felt a surge of anger. His memory loss was not a game to him.

He leaned in close to her ear and pitched his voice so that only she could hear. “Why are you doing this? I don't have my memories but I can tell how I feel toward people. Unless I’m some kind of complete creep, we don't have any secret relationship. Please stop this now.”

This seemed to catch her off-guard. From the expression on her face, he could tell that he didn't normally take assertive stands like this. She pulled back with a startled look on her face that told him he had hit it right on the mark. She didn't have the look of a brokenhearted lover. She had the look of someone that had just been outplayed in a game. After a second, she gave him a wink and leaned in to deliver her own whispered message. “You're right, but it's still your loss.” When she pulled back, he saw that she was now sporting a very provocative smile as she turned and walked away.

As he watched Cat walk away, Clark was slightly surprised that his anger toward her for what she tried wasn’t stronger. Her ploy hadn’t been the nicest thing to do, but now that it was over he had the sense that even if he hadn’t known that they were not in a relationship, she wouldn’t have let it go so far as to take advantage of him. He took a second to explore his feelings. He got the impression that he didn't approve of her, but that her actions generally didn't seem to have much impact on him personally. Based on what she had just done, Clark guessed that she had probably tried to initiate a relationship sometime in the past and had failed.

He moved back to his desk and sat down. There were no memories of this place either. Staring at his nameplate did no good. There should be memories of some kind but no matter how hard he tried, his past remained a blank. Clark was growing more and more convinced that the feelings that he kept experiencing were the only part of his memory that was working correctly.

This whole “emotions instead of memories” business was helpful, but still confusing. Earlier this morning at the hospital when Lois had said Jimmy's name, there had been no reaction at all. But when he saw him, the connection surfaced. The same seemed to be true for everyone else. The names were meaningless until he saw the faces. Their images triggered the emotional reactions that were proving to be so valuable. He looked over at Lois busy on her phone. She was still a puzzle. With everyone else so far, the feelings were there, but no names. Lois was the only person for whom he had come up with a name on his own. And the feeling of connection to her was so much stronger than with anyone else.

Lois hung up her phone, interrupting his thoughts. “Clark, I've been trying to reach your parents, but I can't get through. The panic from Nightfall has all the phone lines tied up. We can barely get calls to work across the city.”

Clark thought that it was strange that her failure to reach them didn't bother him. “Do I get along with my parents?”

She looked surprised by the question. “You have a great relationship with your family. When I was in Smallville, and saw all of you together, it was obvious where your sunny disposition comes from. Why do you ask?”

“When I try to think of them, I don't feel anything. I'm getting used to the idea that I don't remember anyone, but I have gotten a few clues based on emotions and feelings. It's weird. It's like my emotions are tied to memories that I can't reach. When I try to think of my parents, I don't feel anything at all.”

“What people have triggered these emotional reactions?”

“You, Jimmy, Perry, and…” He was uncomfortable going onto the details of people that provoked less positive reactions. “…some other people here in the office.”

“Clark, when I said Jimmy and Perry's names in the hospital, you said they didn't sound familiar. Why didn't you tell me that you had another reaction then?”

Clark thought back for a moment. “I didn't feel anything then. It wasn't until I met them in person that I felt something else.”

“Could it be that you have to see a person to trigger the feelings?”

“I think you’re right,” Clark replied. “As far as I can tell, I don’t react at all to names of people or places. The only time I get anything is when I’ve seen people.”

“I wonder if a picture would work,” Lois said. “When we get back to your apartment we can find a picture of your parents and see if that triggers a reaction.”

The way that Lois said, “we” will go to his apartment and “we” will see about a reaction, triggered that same warm feeling that he had come to associate with Lois. He needed to figure out the real status of their relationship. He hoped knowing that would reveal to him why he hadn't told her how he felt. They were friends and seemed to get along well. There had to be a reason that he hadn't pressed their relationship. For now, it was best to learn what he could about Lois, the Daily Planet and what they did as their jobs. “Lois, what's the latest news on Nightfall?”

She frowned slightly at the mention of the asteroid. “There have been some updates about the fragments, but not many. The scientists and the government are being tight-lipped. Information is being released so slowly that I have a feeling that it must be pretty bad. They keep saying that there will be an announcement shortly. Eduardo is at EPRAD for when they make an announcement. For now they’ve asked people to stay where they are until more tracking information is available.”

Lois paused for a second and then it was as if a dark cloud descended on her. She went on in a more subdued tone. “They haven't said anything at all about Superman.”

It was clear that Superman was very important to Lois. After another second he realized she was giving him a sideways look. “Clark, are you sure that you aren't having any kind of reaction to Superman?”

“No Lois. That's just a name to me. Do I know him?”

“Yes. You know him as well as anyone.” Lois paused as she recalled that farewell kiss. “Well, except maybe me.”

Something about the way she said that last phrase triggered something. There was something about Lois and Superman that was related to Clark and how he felt about Lois. The feeling was very fleeting and as he tried to focus on the feeling, it was gone like mist.

Lois dug around in her desk and pulled out an article with a picture of Superman. “This is him,” she said. “Does this picture trigger anything?”

As Clark stared at the picture, he felt a confusing mix of feelings. “Lois, I'm getting a reaction but it's very strange. I feel something like pride but...I just don't know how to describe it. You say I'm his friend?”

“I think so. You know how to contact him and you get more interviews with him than anyone else.”

“Lois, the feeling that I'm getting… It's strange. In some ways it feels strong but in others... Well, the feeling of friendship that I experienced when I saw Jimmy was stronger than my reaction to Superman. I just don't know what to make of it.” What he didn’t tell her was that there was a slight flash of jealousy. Based on Lois’s reaction when she brought up Superman a moment ago, that reaction made sense. Clark was surprised that the feeling wasn’t stronger.

Her voice took on a tone of compassion. “Don't worry, Clark. None of us really know him and perhaps you just happen to be the person that has his phone number.”

Just that second there was a loud series of beeps from the bullpen television, which was showing the Emergency Broadcast Symbol. The image changed suddenly to that of a man behind a desk. There was a voice-over that said, “This is an emergency broadcast from the President of the United States.”

Then the picture zoomed in so that Clark could make out the features of the man. His image stirred no emotions and he had to assume that this was the President. A second later he began to speak. “Fellow citizens and members of the world community, despite our best efforts, the mission to divert the Nightfall asteroid was not as successful as we had hoped. However, I come to you with a measure of good news. The original estimates were that if Nightfall had hit as a single solid object, the resulting disaster would have killed most of the world’s people. Thanks to the efforts of our military and scientists, Nightfall has been shattered and most of the remaining parts will miss our planet. Unfortunately, many pieces of Nightfall are going to fall on Earth. The next few days and weeks will be among the greatest trials our nation and world have ever known. As these events unfold, I ask you to join me in looking toward the future, because despite the dark times that we will all see, I believe we will come through this stronger together. Thank you.”

The image switched to a static image with a simple graphic reading, “Please wait for a briefing from the Nightfall emergency team.”

After a few more seconds the image changed to that of two men standing together behind a podium. One of them was wearing a uniform and the other was wearing a business suit. As Lois and Clark moved to get closer to the television, the man in the uniform began to speak.

“My name is General Zeitlin. This is Doctor Aames, lead astronomer for EPRAD and head of the Anderson Research Center in Metropolis. We’re here to report on the status of the Nightfall asteroid fragments. When we've finished, we will both be available to answer a few questions. To begin, Dr. Aames will report on the asteroid. Dr. Aames?”

The general stepped back and the astronomer approached the microphone. “The good news is that the intercept mission did result in well over 95% of the mass of Nightfall being deflected so that it will not impact the Earth. Unfortunately, thousands of asteroid fragments are still heading toward our planet. The largest piece that we have been able to detect is only a few hundred meters across. The majority of the fragments are much smaller than that. The first to arrive will be small bodies, generally less than a meter in diameter, and while they will provide a light show, very few of these will hit the ground. The majority of the fragments will begin arriving approximately 36 hours from now. When the main mass of fragments arrives, many will be large enough to reach the ground. General Zeitlin will continue the briefing from here.” The scientist stepped back and allowed the general access to the microphone.

“As of six am Friday morning Eastern Standard Time, all planes in the United States will be grounded. We are recommending similar precautions for other governments. Based on our radar readings of the primary meteor swarm, there will be a period of destruction that will last for about 12 hours. For the eastern portion of the United States, the period of highest danger will begin at 8:00 pm Friday evening. Preliminary estimates are that it will be possible to declare an all-clear by nine am Saturday morning. All buildings with bomb-shelter capability are being opened and you are encouraged to spend Friday evening in one of these if possible. This announcement will be followed by the release of written Nightfall preparation guidelines. I will take questions now.”

There was a flurry of shouting before one voice emerged. “Franz Klinger, Washington Post. What area will be the hardest hit?”

The general signaled Dr. Aames to answer. The scientist moved so that he was standing right next to the general. “Based on the original trajectory of Nightfall and what we have been able to discern from our efforts to map the incoming fragments, we believe that there will be a band of impacts all around the world centered at approximately 37 degrees north latitude. The most dangerous area will be largely confined to plus or minus 15 degrees of latitude from this line. There is the potential for significant impacts outside of this region but numerically, the majority of the impacts will be between 22 and 52 degrees north latitude. As you can see in our graphic…” Dr. Aames pointed off-screen. “…the areas most affected include some of the most populated regions of the world.”

The image widened to show that near the podium was a map of the world with a band in grey. It covered all of the United States as well as Japan, large sections of China, Russia and the southern half of Europe.

Dr. Aames walked over to the map and continued. “Europe and the Atlantic will get the leading edge of the main debris field. Then the United States will be hit. We expect the shower to continue across the Pacific and reach Japan and East Asia. Let me stress that while this map represents the area that we believe will be most severely affected, a large body could potentially land anywhere.”

When Dr. Aames finished there was another clamor before a question emerged. “Jean Simmons, Times of London. How destructive will the fragments be?”

Dr. Aames answered. “We believe there are hundreds of thousands, possibly millions of fragments that will enter our atmosphere. Most of these will burn up and not reach the ground. However, there are so many that thousands will reach the ground. Most of these will be less than a foot across. That is the basis for the recommendation to spend Friday night in a shelter.” He paused as if gathering himself before continuing. “However, some of the fragments are large enough to leave mile-wade craters when they hit.”

A male voice boomed out, “Why aren't there evacuations being set up?”

The general moved to the microphone. “There are two reasons for not initiating an evacuation. First, there isn't time for any large-scale evacuation to be organized. However, the more important reason is that there is no safe place to go. There will be hundreds of thousands of small impacts. Dr. Aames outlined the area of risk. That region covers most of the United States”

A female voice boomed over the others. “Gertrude Stein, Miami Herald. The President said that casualty estimates for Nightfall were originally very high. Have any estimates been prepared for the new situation?”

“Some have been prepared but they are pure guesswork. If one of the large fragments hits a major city, many thousands could die from that single impact. If no major cities are hit by the large fragments, the death toll will be much smaller. The President mentioned that the original estimates for Nightfall were that most of world’s population would have been killed. Most of the projections for the expected event call for a casualty rate of less than five percent. We hope for a much smaller figure than that.”

Ms. Stein jumped on that number. “Five percent? That’s over 200 million people!”

The general’s face turned very solemn. “Yes, we know.”

There was an instant of silence where it seemed like the reporters were digesting the implications of those numbers. Then another unidentified voice burst out. “You've said that there will be millions killed. What are you suggesting that people do?”

There was a long moment of silence before the general replied. “Try to remember that most of us will survive this event. However, there will be a certain level of disruption and turmoil. We are requesting that above all else, everyone try to stay calm.”

Another shouted question. “What do you plan to do?”

“I will continue to do my job. On a more personal note, as a simple matter of prudence, I will take steps to make sure I have taken care of unfinished business. And I plan to pray.”

The resulting silence dragged on for several seconds before a male voice interrupted. “Eduardo Friez, Daily Planet. “What news do you have about Superman? What happened and where is he now?”

“The tracking data shows that approximately 55 seconds before impact we lost contact with Superman. By 30 seconds prior to impact, the ship was off-course. There is no way for us to know what happened to Superman. All we know for sure is that everything seemed fine until communications were lost and that Superman has not been seen nor heard from since that time. In short, we have no idea of the status of Superman. Unless some other information comes to light, we have to assume that he died in space on the Nightfall mission.”

TBC

Bob