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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
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Feedback here!
Thanks.
Corrina.
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,979 Likes: 28 |
/bites nails/ Eventually, Kal looked to Lois and managed a small smile. “Maybe my globe was programmed to activate on the day I achieved sixteen years,” he said. “If this was scheduled to speak, there is every chance we have missed it.” awwwwww  Kal waited with Lois in Tek’s laboratory, hoping he didn’t look too much like a man interrupted. He looked at Lois and, noticing her dishevelled dark hair, reached over and tried to neaten it for her. “How’s my hair?” he asked.
“Great,” she replied.
“But does it look like I’ve ... you’ve just devoured me?”
“Pretty much,” she said with a totally unconcerned grin.
Kal quickly tried to tidy it, but Lois thwarted his attempt. “Leave it,” she said. “It looks cute.”  “Not every planet has Kal-El leading it,” she said ominously. Well, in theory, Earth could… Tek rounded the rock and disappeared from their view.  That’s unnecessary cruelty. So, I’m guessing 4 more parts, maybe five. Depending on how much you are going to show us of their arrival on Earth and how much you’re going to keep for the sequel. Unless you have another bombshell hidden away somewhere? Michael, waiting anxiously for Monday morning.
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
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Great part. It seems Tek is the Jimmy Olsen of New Krypton She kissed him for only a short moment before backing away. “Tek’s coming,” she said in answer to the question he shot her. “Arggh,” Kal said. “That man’s timing ...” She kissed his chest. “Put on your shirt,” she advised. “I’ll move those rocks.” I like how this is moving along Kathy www.chili-everyway.com
robinson
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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They have no way to know where the ship is going to go... At some point it's going to occur to someone [Lois?] that maybe it went to a planet that wasn't uninhabited but rather had people who looked just like Kryptonians. Hm... imagine where that could be...
I'm guessing this thing will land either in the Kent's backyard or Shuster's Field - one of the two...
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Blogger
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Blogger
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I'm temporarily de-lurking here to comment on this excellent story. I've been really enjoying its romance, heart, suspense and characterizations. It is my favourite Kal-El/ New Krypton story by far, and the romance between Kal-El and Lois, which is developed so subtly and beautifully, is close to being one of my favourite romances between Kal-El (as opposed to Clark or Superman) and Lois as well. I also love that it seems that they are likely to go back to earth now. I enjoyed the way you finished off Nor with his own bullet too -- talk about poetic justice.  Admittedly Kal-El let that threat hamper him too, but he's not really at fault in the same way, since he did the best he could and he didn't have a whole lot of life experience to draw upon; he also wasn't tacitly permitting murder of the innocent. I feel rather sad about this outcome  because New Krypton deserves better than self-seeking compromisers at the helm. No Utopia for New Krypton, I guess. I would much rather that someone truly selfless, someone who has actually suffered and who knows empathy, could be leader, someone like Tek (and his wife). As it is, I think this situation for those who live on New Krypton is very unfair. Apart from this injustice, I really do like this story. (I hope you don't mind me venting; it's not because of a fault of your writing, but it's because I don't like Ching's treachery being rewarded). One good thing about it is that I can't wait for Kal-El and Lois to get back to Earth. Flawed though it is, it is much better than New Krypton in its current form. Bring on the next chapter!
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
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Hi Corrina!  Very quick fly-by to say I'm still reading and loving this. Sorry no time for deeper feedback.  Betty, Ching was disloyal to Kal, but I think he and Za will be good leaders for NK. I think Za will be a good influence on him and I think Ching betrayed Kal against his better nature because he was seduced by his love for Za. They are certainly taking the right steps so far. We would love for them to exonerate Kal and accept Lois, but I think we have already been giving good reasons for why that is not possible in the current climate. And Kal and Lois don't have time to wait for Ching and Za to come up with a solution, even if though it looks like they (C&Z) might be trying to. Gotta run!
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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As I got to the end of this chapter, I instantly thought of the line from DTOSC: "That's what you and I are all about. Taking a chance." You've set things up so well, so hopelessly that I don't think they have any choice but to get inside and see what happens.
(And I really, really, really hope they end up in a Kansas cornfield!)
I do like what you've told us about Ching and Za, that they did at least try to find a legal way for Kal and Lois to live. But it does make sense that the people would be too scared to accept such a deal. At least with Tek on the Council, the planet is moving in the right direction. Still, it's so unfair to Kal, who has given up everything for his people. They should be building statues to honor him, not trying to hunt him down.
But even if Kal and Lois do launch the spaceship, how in the world is Kal going to get his memories back? Without Nor, no one knows he was even given a drug. And is it even the kind of drug that has an antidote?
This story is just one twist after another. I can't wait for more!
Kathy
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Maybe the antidote is the yellow sun - you know the whole superfast healing thing... it applies to mental blocks due to drugs as well? /shrugs/ of course, maybe they'll end up under a white dwarf [or whatever it's called] and both have powers... 
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Wow what a chapter! I am on the edge of my seat! I am looking forward to the next chapter. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2004
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There's no old law somewhere that gives a Noble the right to defend himself in open court or something?Ching's in charge now, he could make it a new law. Kal should be allowed to take his and Lois's case to the people.(If that fails, then take the first spaceship out of town).
"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
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Blogger
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Blogger
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Betty, Ching was disloyal to Kal, but I think he and Za will be good leaders for NK. I think Za will be a good influence on him and I think Ching betrayed Kal against his better nature because he was seduced by his love for Za. They are certainly taking the right steps so far. I understand his motives; I'm not saying his characterization is at fault or that it's contrived. None of this would have happened had he not been corrupted by the greater evil of Nor. And possibly he's young and immature as well. However, for me, Ching's love for Za seems tainted and selfish as a result of this betrayal. You know the old saying from Lovelace, "I could not love thee, Dear, so much, loved I not Honour more." Za, too, if she recognized Kal's goodness and fitness as a leader, should have ethical difficulties with the betrayal, even if she loved Ching despite it. If she tolerates it without complaint or was aware of the betrayal and did nothing to stop it, then she's as bad as he is. Even aside from all this, their joint rulership has the shadow of betrayal over it, and while they may have progressive or good ideas, it's all colored by their willingness to condone murder (For me: I recognize that others may not see it this way, but as necessary and inevitable given the state of Kryptonian society). This isn't a dealbreaker for me -- I still really love this story regardless. And of course the world is full of bad people who get away with injustices all the time, so it's certainly believable. I'm just not crazy about it, because it makes me unhappy about the fate of New Krypton.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,137 Likes: 1 |
Michael Thanks! And if you hear strange noises, please wait around the corner until they stop…  So, I’m guessing 4 more parts, maybe five. I've written 38 and some of 39 and I'm not at the end yet. Depending on how much you are going to show us of their arrival on Earth and how much you’re going to keep for the sequel. Yep, that's the question I still don't have an answer for. I think I'll try to cover everything in this fic, so there is no need for a sequel. Michael, waiting anxiously for Monday morning. Work? Kathy Thanks for saying it's still moving along - in something this long, I worry that I could get bogged down and the story not actually move forward. Carol The Kent's back yard? That could be a big shock for Martha and Jonathan. Betty Thanks for de-lurking. No, I don't mind you venting at all - in fact if I'd written a story and no one cared what happened that would be  for me. About Ching - I have written his final part in this story and written it as I'd always planned to finish with him. However, there is an alternative that is slightly less pleasant for him - your opinion makes me lean towards the second option. In the fic, I intend to tie up ends with regard to NK and leave the reader with at least the hope that the future is brighter for them. HappyGirl Thanks! I've tried to portray NK as a strange balance between the SR having absolute power, yet still having to work within both the Law and the people's threat to take up arms. This isn't a democracy by any means, but the people as a whole do have power - not in voting, but in war. Despite telling Lois he could do anything, Kal was very aware of the constraints placed on him. Ching now has those constraints - and Kryptonians do not take change easily. Artemis There may be some surprises in the 'how', but there are no major bombshells sitting undetonated. Thanks. Kathy Still, it's so unfair to Kal, who has given up everything for his people. True - but I have a very happy ending planned for Kal. Thanks for leaving FDK, Kathy. Laura Next chapter is up.  Thanks, Laura. SJH Kal should be allowed to take his and Lois's case to the people. NK is not a democracy. This people do not have the power to determine this. And, the whole 'Offering your Life = Death' thing is probably so engrained in them, it wouldn't help Kal' and Lois's cause. And, she's an alien. NK probably has its share of Trasks. Thanks for your comments. Corrina.
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