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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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This didn't seem much like a string of pearls. It seems more as if all of these women are trying to make gemstones out of the trash that life threw at them. You show us their weaknesses and their strengths, but altogether none of them have a pretty life. Riveting.

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Clark's laying it on quite thick. But it's fun, seeing him so confident. Wonder if the lack of Lois has something to do with it.

L&L's backstory sure is interesting and Lois getting even with her miscreant of a stepfather is clap

Lucy's explosion scared me a bit. She seems to have a lot of anger stored up and this could have easily backfired in a location like the Metro Club.

Michael


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Kerth
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Kerth
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Loved the interchange between Clark and the girls regarding the rules.

Clark was definitely more forward than we're used to seeing him.

Corrina.

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Top Banana
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And, thanks to x-ray vision, Clark knows that Lois is up to something, but he doesn't know what. How long will it take him to put 2 and 2 together and come up with Wanda Detroit?

Looking forward to the next part. thumbsup


This *is* my happily ever after.
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Pulitzer
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Feedback can be short but very insightful. See above.

Elisabeth, thanks for the comment about the various characters. I had originally planned for the other women in the band to be just minor supporting characters, but they wouldn't stay in the background. I'm glad their personalities are coming through clearly.

Michael, nice insight about Clark. He is undercover, after all, and acting "out of character" is part of it. Yes, Lucy has some anger issues, and they're part of the story down the line. I'm glad you caught that.

Female Hawk, glad you like "forward Clark." Again, he's acting because he's undercover, but it is the kind of thing a sailor who's grateful for a job but frustrated by seeing but not being able to touch all the beautiful women around him.

HappyGirl, you're right, Clark can add. But it might take him a little longer than you'd think. Things are going to get interesting soon.

Next part up soon! Thanks to everyone who's reading and/or commenting.


Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing

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