Ficathon - Be My Friend, Lover
By coolgirl
From Part 1
A soft snore from the man occupying her thoughts brought her back to the present.
Lois fought the urge to touch him, to place her lips on his forehead and kiss his aches away. One last time…
Oh God, she hadn’t thought it was going to be this difficult… She had to stop loving him, she told herself again. It was just sympathy that she felt for him right now… the undeniable urge to take care of him, to hold him until he was better, to love him... like a friend. It wasn’t love. Not love. Not love. Not love.
Maybe, if she repeated that to herself a thousand times a day, she’d start believing it.
Part 2
Rated : PG-13
February 14th, 4:15 AM Clark Kent had always loved Lois Lane.
But more than that, he needed her.
Even now, when his entire body throbbed with a dull ache and he didn’t want to move a single muscle, he wanted her beside him, to hear her breathe, to feel her touch. He hated this lethargic recovery from the nuclear exposure that had totally numbed his senses and rendered him useless. His only link to reality was Lois. Whenever he held her hand, he felt more connected to the outer world. Whenever he sensed her presence, it felt as if his spirits had suddenly been lifted from sinking lower by the enticing pull of her soothing warmth. Whatever he felt wasn’t, he knew,
just sexual – he felt too tired for such thoughts right then – but it was more…
He felt the incredible need to bury his face in her chest and let her soothe his pains. He wanted to nuzzle at the place where her neck and her shoulders met and keep on inhaling her unique aroma-therapeutic fragrance. He wished to lick and suckle at her soft, ivory skin until it made him giddy enough to forget and lose himself in her.
It was lust; it was sexual, he didn’t deny that, but it wasn’t
just that.
It touched his soul and recharged him every time he sought her. Just her presence healed him. And he’d known what that feeling was called right from the beginning.
It was called love.
Unrequited love.
Lois just didn’t feel that way about him – Clark Kent. Okay, she’d agreed to go on a date with him, but that’d gone all awry. And he wasn’t sure if she would actually go out with him now that she knew.
Lois was fascinated by Superman and had she been any other woman, he’d have thought that it was probably because of the tights and the flying, but… this was Lois Lane! She wasn’t shallow. He knew she did love Superman – his ideals, his personality, his sense of honor and whatever else he stood for… but she definitely couldn’t love Superman – the person, because Lois didn’t know Superman. Not as she knew Clark, whom she just liked as a friend.
Clark had imagined many scenarios in which he’d reflected on Lois’ reaction when she found out the truth about him. ‘What would she have done – rejected Superman because he was just Clark Kent or thrown herself at Clark Kent because he was Superman?’ he’d often wondered.
He’d dreaded that Lois would no longer believe in Superman if she ever found out that he was an ordinary man in disguise. And not just any ordinary man, but Clark Kent who’d lied to her about everything ever since he’d met her…
And in the latter case, would he have minded if she’d started a relationship with him because he was Superman?
‘No…’ he told himself honestly. He’d known for some time that he’d have taken Lois any way she offered herself to him; he was that desperate for her. But not if it brought any damage to their sweet and budding friendship. He loved Lois Lane more than life, but he valued her friendship more, because Lois’ friendship was rare… very rare – like a precious diamond amidst a sea of pebbles. And he couldn’t – wouldn’t – jeopardize that for anything – not even love – in this world. It had taken him almost two years to get her to trust him… to care for him, and he wasn’t going to lead her on to the shaky ground for something as uncertain as a *possibility* of love.
Besides, what was love anyway? What would being her boyfriend bring him? He’d get to take her out – wine and dine her, dance with her, hold her hand, call her the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night.
He already had all of that by being her friend…
‘Except the kissing and loving part…’ a voice from his heart pointed out. But that was a risk he didn’t want to take. And so, he’d taken what she’d offered – friendship. He’d tried to be a good friend to her – so much that she’d slowly come out of her shell and started to trust him enough to agree to go out with him.
Until now…
Now, she knew
everything. But she was still here... what did that mean?
Was she going to jump his bones when he woke up, claiming to love him because he was Superman or was she going to be mad at him for lying? He didn’t like either of the possibilities, but the latter did seem better than the former. He didn’t think he could stomach the thought of Lois loving him just because he could fly.
And he could no longer sleep.
======================================
February 14th, 4:30 AM Clark Kent opened his eyes and stared unblinkingly at the silhouette of his only love, seated by the window. She looked so lovely, clad in her silvery satin nightgown with her hands cupping her chin, lost in thought. If only he’d been given the privilege, he’d have captured time and made it stand still so he could preserve the moment. He’d have walked up to her, taken her into his arms and held her forever…
He must have moved, or made some noise, because instantly the woman from his fantasies was beside him.
“Clark?” Her voice was soft, as though checking if he was awake.
“Hmm…” Clark murmured dreamily, his hand lifting up to cup her face of its own volition.
“You’re awake!” Lois exclaimed. “Let me feel you… no fever. That’s good. Do you need something? Water? What about your powers? Are they back? How do you feel?”
Lois bent over him, peering at him in the darkness, looking flustered. She placed the back of her hand on his forehead checking for any signs of fever, before moving down to his chest. Resting her hand above his heart, she felt him to see if he was palpitating.
“I’m fine,” Clark said gently, trapping her hand with his and squeezing it reassuringly. “I’m better, Lois. And no, powers not back yet fully, but I think… ah, yes… I can hear the early-morning traffic on the highway, a wailing baby some ten miles from here… and a cow mooing somewhere in the outskirts of the city.”
Clark grinned as sat up slowly, resting his back on the headrest and pulling the covers up around him. He had really missed his powers and rejoiced the return of his super-hearing. Instinctively, he tuned in to Lois’ heartbeat. He suddenly had this mad urge to see her like this, with her hand clasped in his, resting on his heart. Turning to the night lamp, he flipped it on, bathing the room in soft yellow light.
Lois drew back awkwardly when Clark switched on the light. She stood up, needing to put some space between them, and walked back silently to retrieve the laptop. Sitting beside him and feeling him all over to find if he was feverish had felt like a good idea in the dark, but in the soft hue of the night lamp, it seemed too intimate.
“It’s always the super-hearing that returns first, then vision… flying is always the last,” Clark supplied with a frown when he saw Lois make no further attempt at conversation for a long time. Why was she giving him cold shoulder now? Was she angry?
“Oh,” she said with a noncommittal nod when she couldn’t trust herself to say anything more.
“It will all be back by noon, I suppose. Once I get exposed to enough sunlight…”
“Oh.”
Pasting a smile on his face, he added, “And then I’ll get my sick butt outta here and let you get some rest.”
His attempt at a joke made Lois cringe.
‘Here it comes!’ Lois sighed to herself, averting her misting eyes. ‘The time to say goodbye.’ She kept typing on her keyboard before realizing that he required some form of a reply from her. “Oh!” she said. It sounded almost like a sniff.
“That’s the third time you’ve said ‘Oh’, Lois. What’s wrong?” Clark asked softly, getting out of the bed and belatedly realizing that he was almost naked. Snatching the huge blanket, he tied it around his waist and dragging the extra length along as he walked to where she was sitting. When Lois paid him no attention and pretended to be working, he snapped the laptop shut without any warning and put it aside.
“What the– Clark! My work!” Lois exclaimed, anger and outrage swiftly seeping into her voice. “I didn’t save anything!”
“It’s just gone on Stand-By, Lois. You won’t lose anything. If you do, I’ll type it out faster than a speeding bullet,” Clark offered without feeling even an ounce of guilt.
“That’s reassuring, coming from a man who’s been lying sick without powers for the past two days!” Lois commented sarcastically, pursing her lips together in annoyance.
Clark staggered at the spite in her tone and watched as she stood up with her hands folded across her chest. They stood that way, staring at each other for a moment, one angry and the other confused. But then Lois face scrunched up as though she was about to cry and Clark saw her try hard to stifle a sob and turn away, burying her face in her hands.
“I’m sorry... I’m sorry!” she repeated agitatedly, her voice hoarse from the lump in her throat. “That was horrible of me! I shouldn’t have said that! I knew what you were going through… I just… I swear I didn’t mean it. You’ve been through a lot. Oh Clark, for a moment there I thought you weren’t going to make it… that you’d die… and I couldn’t…” She sank down to her knees and sobbed uncontrollably as Clark watched, dumbstruck at the turnabout and guilty that he’d caused her so much worry.
He squatted down before her. Placing a hand on her chin, he lifted her head to face him. What he saw made him want to pull her into his embrace. “Oh Lois, oh Lois,” he crooned softly, wiping the tears on her face with his hands.
“It’s nothing… nothing,” Lois assured him, pulling away from him in embarrassment. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me… You’re here, alive… I should be happy and not crying… It’s just I… nothing…”
“It’s obviously
not nothing,” Clark said, wrapping an arm around her. He stretched out his other hand and fumbled for a tissue from the nightstand behind him without relinquishing his hold on her. Sitting down comfortably with his back against the side of the bed, Clark pulled Lois to him and settled her comfortably into his embrace. “Here, let me…”
Lois fought to pull out of his arms as he dried the tears from her eyes, but he didn’t relinquish his hold on her. She blew her nose on the tissue, and then saw him crumple it into a wad and throw it away. It was a long time before she quieted, with a sigh that sounded like a hiccup, earning another concerned look from her partner.
“It’s alright. I’m alright. I’m okay now,
Sweetheart,” Clark said gently, cupping her face with one hand and resting her head against his heart. He closed his eyes briefly reveling in the feel of her against him. This may be the closest he could ever come to hold her.
When he opened his eyes again, Lois was peering at him curiously. He nervously bit on his lip, just now realizing he’d called her ‘sweetheart.’ It had slipped out unconsciously when he’d been vulnerable. But Lois didn’t seem to notice.
“You know, you look a lot different without your glasses,” she commented offhandedly.
“Mmm… I know,” he whispered, relieved.
“Aren’t you going back to sleep? You need your rest, Clark,” she asked hoarsely.
“I tried to, but couldn’t… but that brings up a good point. Why aren’t
you asleep?” He watched her tired face and let out a horrified gasp. “God, Lois. Don’t tell me you haven’t slept a wink in the past two days! I knew it! I should have realized it sooner… Every time I woke up, you were awake… At this rate… Should have known…” Clark muttered, standing up and bending down to her with a skeptical look on his face.
“I… Clark! What are you doing?” Lois shrieked, as she felt herself being lifted up into his arms.
“Don’t argue,” Clark ordered. “You’re going to sleep now.”
Lois frowned. “But…”
“Don’t worry. I’m not feeling sleepy, but if I do, I’ll take your living room sofa,” he said kindly.
“But, Clark…”
Gently laying her down in the middle of the bed which was still warm with his own body heat, Clark rolled his eyes and said, “Lois, please humor me. You look… tired.”
Lois’ jaw dropped and her hands rose to her face and hair to check them.
“I look a mess, don’t I? No, don’t answer that!” She tried to get up from the bed and rush to the mirror on the other side of the room, but was deterred when Clark gently, yet firmly pushed her back, making her lie down on the bed. “I know I look like a she-devil. It was a good thing you were asleep for most of the time, or you’d have had to endure looking at me. It was just… I couldn’t sleep much,” she said miserably in a tone that pleaded with him to excuse her.
Lois rolled over to her side, facing away from him to hide herself from his scrutinizing gaze and closed her eyes. Recalling the nightmare she’d had of him dying due to kryptonite exposure on that first night back home, she shifted restlessly until Clark placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“Lois, I’ve never had to *endure* you. I like you a lot. You took care of me when I was sick and I can’t thank you enough for that. But I don’t want you to make yourself ill. That’s what I meant when I said you look tired. You need your sleep. I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to you because of me. I need you, Lois.
I love you.”
He looked at her intensely willing her to turn around to face him, but then blinked as he realized what he’d said. Oh, God. He had just blurted out that he loved her.
“I mean, you’re my best friend,” he hastily amended, as she turned and raised her eyes to his – was that hope in them?
“Best friend,” Lois echoed in a hollow, toneless voice.
“Yes,” Clark said earnestly, running his fingers through his hair, wanting desperately to make her hurt go away. “Now, go to sleep. I’ll sit in this chair and watch over you.”
She was hurting, he knew. But he hadn’t a single idea on how to set it right. He was scanning the room aimlessly to take his mind off her, when his sight fell on the digital clock on the night stand.
--------------------------------------
‘02 14 5:05 am’February the fourteenth. Valentine’s Day.
Not that he could do much about it, Clark sighed.
A week ago, he’d have taken a tentative, but hopeful step and asked Lois out. Their first date. But now, he wasn’t so sure. Lois wasn’t mad at him, but that didn’t mean she would want a relationship with him – the man who’d lied to her for as long as she knew him. The not-so-honest superhero. He had been half-afraid that Lois might declare her love for him once she knew the truth, but she’d acted with more integrity than that. And he’d also been partly afraid that she might become upset and angry with him, but again, Lois had proved that she was the most loyal person in the world. Heck, she’d just cried all over him because she’d been afraid for him. And she’d been miserable that one time when he’d been shot by the Al Capone gang.
No. Lois genuinely cared for him, and not just the flashy suit and the flying.
If only he were sure of what she was feeling right now.
“Clark?”
“Hmm?”
“I don’t think I can sleep… I had a nightmare and I’m afraid it might recur,” she whispered.
“Oh. Will it help if you talk to me about it?” he asked kindly.
“No… yes. I don’t know,” she answered forlornly. “I dreamt that you were dead.”
“Oh Lois. Just a dream. I’m here, see?” Instantly Clark was beside her on the bed, taking her hand, placing it on his heart and bending down to kiss her forehead like one would do with a frightened child.
“I know… it’s silly.” She tried to giggle, but it came out as a hiccup.
A moment later, Clark heard her whisper. “I know it was just a slip of the tongue, what you said before.”
They both knew she referred to his declaration of love, but when Clark tried to interrupt to explain, Lois forestalled him. “You don’t have to worry I’m going to jump on you because you’re Superman, Clark. I’m not going to be mad either. I understand why you did whatever you did. All I am feeling right now is embarrassment for having chased you when you were Superman and treated Clark Kent like a low man. And that’s why – whatever this is between us, this attraction – it’s not going to work. You’ll always wonder if I loved you for you or for being Superman.”
Clark’s head reeled as he heard her. 'You’ll always wonder if
I loved you for you or for being Superman.'
She did love him. He almost whooped in joy, but restrained himself as she shifted on the bed.
Lois sat up and put her hands around his neck, burying her face in his chest, as she added tearfully. “But the other thing you said about us being best friends… I would love it if you could forget all my blunders and let me be your best friend.”
Clark pulled back until he could watch her face and raised an eyebrow in bemusement. He didn’t know why, but when Lois voiced out his own concerns, he felt them melt away. Now his earlier confusing thoughts seemed silly. Dear God, he’d seriously underestimated this one, small woman. She didn’t hate him for lying to her or degrade Superman for being just Clark Kent. She was wonderful – so honest and loyal and loving.
And so very wrong.
If he lost her now, he’d be losing everything in his life. She was crying in his arms because she thought he wanted to be just a friend, while he was sitting here, rambling to himself that he shouldn’t ever push her into something she didn’t want and therefore he was doing her good by being her friend.
What a mess!
“Honey,” Clark said softly, confidently as Lois quieted. “Are you finished now? May I talk? When I said ‘I love you’, I meant I *do* love you but don’t want to push you further right now because you’ve been through a lot more than me and needed time. I won’t deny that I was a bit apprehensive about your feelings. But if you think I can forget the past two years, especially the way you’ve looked at Superman – me – then you are wrong. You see, I just realized that I needed someone like you to give me a starry-eyed look to keep me on my toes. That look – whoa – it’s like a battery.” He grinned to bring a smile on her face by his feeble attempt at a joke, but earned a smack on his chest. “Great! Recharges me.”
“Clark!” Another smack.
“Seriously, Lois,” Clark added somberly, “when I asked you out, I was afraid I’d lose you any way when you knew the truth. Now you know, but I’m not ready to let go of what we might have together. When you said just now that it wasn’t gonna work, I wanted to shout that I’d give anything and everything to make this work. I can’t lose you, Lois. So, all I want to ask you is, will you help me make it work?”
“I’m not good enough for you. Or beautiful enough,” Lois blurted, remembering that he’d implied just minutes ago that she looked terrible.
Clark shook his head incredulously. “What?”
“Open your eyes, Clark. I’m not a woman whom everybody wants to date, and least of all, Superman. He can – you can – have anyone, from anywhere. Lawyers, attorneys, politicians, scientists, models, movie-stars, celebrities and princesses from all over the world! They all want you… and you can have any – probably all – of them. How can I ever be enough?”
“Lois, you aren’t making any sense,” Clark snapped impatiently, pursing his lips. He’d wanted to hear an answer to his declaration of love, but it seemed he had to work more to get that. “Don’t tell me you didn’t think of that when you gave me those moony-eyed looks.”
“That was because you were safe. I knew Superman wouldn’t fall for me when he, I mean you, had all those women lined up behind him. I was fixing on a safe figure to fight my attraction towards Clark Kent. Too bad you both turned out to be the same person!” Lois snapped back at him, pulling out of his arms.
“Too bad!” Clark echoed wondering if she was finally going to be mad at him for lying to her. “I want
you, not them. And I can’t think of any way to prove it to you except one, which you wouldn’t approve of,” he added.
“Which one?” Lois asked suspiciously.
“Forget it. I’m not telling.” He pushed her back on the bed and started to leave. “Just get some sleep, Lois.”
Lois pounced on him impulsively, pulling him down to the bed and pushing him on to his back before straddling him. “Tell me,” she demanded.
“Tae Kwon Do, eh?” Clark smirked, trying to shift his hips away from hers. His eyes glazed as though he was distracted.
“Tell me,” she insisted, peering down his face.
Clark groaned in exasperation.
“It was all just to make me feel good, wasn’t it? You don’t love me, do you? Not attractive enough, am I?”
She let out a bitter laugh and started to climb off him when he seized her and turned them over.
And then he captured her mouth with his.
He didn’t heed Lois’ initial surprise, nor did he care about her quiet, bewildered struggle. He was too busy giving her his proof, kissing her until she quieted and started kissing him back. His hands moved down her arms to link his fingers with hers, and he lifted their joined hands above her head, holding her completely at his mercy.
She arched her back as he sank down on top of her, spreading her thighs to accommodate him. When she felt his body sensuously pressing against hers, her eyes widened and she gasped. Oh wow, that was fast!
“There’s your proof,” Clark grunted, instinctively shifting against her as his hormones started to overtake his mind and body. “And if you need more, I swear it to you that you are the only woman who’s made me feel like this. When I say the only one, I mean
the only one. There has never ever been anybody else.”
He nodded grimly as Lois’ eyes grew as big as saucers, before giving her a tender, loving look. Dipping his head, he snatched a soft kiss from the corner of her mouth. “Sweetheart, you are so beautiful that you make me want to never lose sight of you. Every moment you aren’t with me, I ache with the need to see you, hold you. I burn for you. If you can’t believe that, I’m not sure how…” He swallowed the lump in his throat.
Lois nodded, closing her eyes. “I believe you,” she said. “I love you so much, but I was so afraid you’d never believe me if I told you that.”
“I believe you too, Honey.” He kissed her again, before rolling off of her. “But right now, you need some sleep. You look terrible in a beautiful, adorable sort of way. I’d still love you if covered you face in red and yellow war-paint but I’m worried about these dark circles under your eyes.” He gently touched the dark circles under her eyes, before placing a soft kiss on each of her closed eyelids.
“What happens now, Clark?” Lois asked in a small, hopeful voice.
“I dunno, but I’d love it if you’d agree to go out with me tonight,” he said, mentally planning to give the love of his life the best Valentine’s Day. He still didn’t want to push her, but this was a special day and he wanted to spend it with Lois.
Lois opened her drowsy eyes a little. “And then?”
He kissed her. “And then I try my best to make you happy.”
“I want to make you happy too,” she said shyly, stifling a yawn. “Love you.”
He gave her a look that was filled with all the love he felt for her. “Me too.”
Pulling her closer, he let her rest her head on his shoulder. They still had to sort everything out, but with Lois by his side, he could do anything. “I promise we’ll take this slowly. After you’ve had enough sleep.”
Lois smiled sleepily. “What are you going to do while I’m asleep?”
He smiled back. “Watch you?”
“Hold me?”
“Always.”
THE END
There may be an eNpilogue to this, as Michael, my BR for this story, has suggested. Please look out for it in the NFanfic boards. 
For bellarata
Three things I want in my fic:
1. Top Copy reveal? Or an All Shook Up reveal
2. happy ending
3. Perry already knowing Clark=Superman
Three things I do not want in my fic:
1. Superman hologram
2. angst
3.
