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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 941 |
Another wow, CC! My morning is just starting here, so I don't have time for many comments right this second (although I *definitely* found the time to read it!), but I did want to get the comments folder started. There were so many great throwaway lines here. I think my favorite was The very next day, she fell from the observation deck of the Metropolis Planetarium. Up until Lois nearly died, it had been a wonderful night. EDIT: OK, back for a few more comments. And I've just reread it, of course, so I can know what I'm talking about when making the comments, and I'm laughing as much as the first time. In fact, there was at least one bit that I missed the first time (reading too fast  ) that I just had a good chuckle over now...all of these wonderful bits just scattered throughout. I really needed to read it through slowly and savor every morseful.  I was very taken with this bit, the humor and poignancy side by side... “She’s going to fall down a well, any day, now,” he muttered to his computer screen, after once more checking to see that Lois was where she was supposed to be. Clark had taken to shamelessly eavesdropping on her phone calls and her conferences with Perry. Just in case. He didn’t let himself dwell on how inappropriate it was.
“Get trapped on a broken ice flow.
Tied to the railroad tracks.
Ride piggy back on a torpedo…”
This was agony. He gritted his teeth and returned his pained thoughts back to the story he was supposed to be writing for Perry. If he had just bitten the bullet and told her. She might still be screaming, but it would all be over now. But that was the root of it, wasn’t it. It would be over. Completely. Forever. And this tortured dance they were doing was so much better than no dance at all.
“God help me, I am so stupidly, helplessly in love with you,” he groaned softly as he watched Lois disappear into the elevator. He forced himself to wait ten seconds before leaping to follow her. Discreetly, of course. And the bit with Henderson is, of course, absolutely priceless! You've written this so perfectly, it's in my mind now as though it had been filmed. Just awesome! I'm so glad you posted again today. And hopefully we'll see more tomorrow...  Kathy M
"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Like Kathy, I love the little sly touches of humour sprinkled through this one. Too many to mention but they had me laughing too hard to read just as much second-time around. And I just love Henderson, who is his usual laconic, amusing self, and the unvoiced conversation he has with Clark. Superb! LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
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Poor Clark... He's terribly scared... but he's suffering because of it  Jose 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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I just read these first 2 parts and I'm hooked! Clark is suffering just as he should. I love the mixture of humor and angst - it's perfect.
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Well CC, Clark seems to be blundering along, but Lois isn't too sure-footed herself. I'm really enjoying this story and glad that you're posting frequently. Once again, it's your irreverant humour and Clark's bumbling that make this story so compelling. I liked your (Lois's insight) here: Lois knew, more than anyone, how rarely Clark gave way, and how little Clark really did say. And how much got bottled up inside and stayed there. Held in by his small town ethics, or the boy scout code, or by a fear of Something. For a while now, Lois had taken to calling the fear “intimacy.” As kind and open and loving as his nature was, Clark would just hit a wall at some point, a line he couldn’t cross, a place he couldn’t reach. Sometimes he retreated quietly, and Lois would watch him do so with sadness for him, and a feeling of loss for herself that she didn’t quite understand. And other times he banged up against it noisily, almost desperately, like today. I guess what I'm saying is that you have added a refreshing and novel approach to the way Lois and Clark look at themselves and at each other. More tomorrow (if not today) I hope  gerry
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Thank you, thank you, CC!!!!  And LOL at him X-raying her up and down in case of any broken bones! And then this was just the final straw - I was laughing uncontrollably at Clark's attempts to persuade the police that they really didn't need to go and check out the break-in at Star Labs, until I totally lost it at this exchange with Henderson: “Ok, then” Henderson finally replied. “If you can do that, I’ll just send the men away. Is that about right?”
Superman was already in the air. “Yes, sir. No problem. And thank you. I’m really grateful you’re letting me…um…help.”
The night mercifully hid his flushed face as he heard Henderson’s snickered, “You’re welcome. No charge. Say hello to Lois for me.” Just imagine me on the floor, under my desk, hoping desperately that none of my colleagues are wondering what on earth's going on!  Okay, now that I've been so good and fed your feedback fix, how about part 3? Now? Please??? Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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OK, in my excitement over reading this segment, I made the bonehead move of posting my reply in the wrong spot. So here it is in the right spot! There were millions of people in Metropolis. Most of which would never need him. If they did it would be a once-in-a-saved lifetime sort of thing. And if you added up how many times Lois had needed him, divided by the one tiny person that she was, what you came up with was irrefutable numerical proof that Lois had more than used up her Superman rescue allotment, and therefore probably wouldn’t need anymore saving until well into the next few lifetimes. Perfect!!! Just loved this part - I'm still laughing. This whole segment just made me grin from ear to ear. Can't wait to see if Lois ever figures it all out or if Clark just breaks down and fesses up. I'll spend the time until the next post reading your other Un stories. Great Job! Lynn
You know that boy'd walk on water for you? Or he'd drown tryin'. -Perry White to Lois in Just Say Noah
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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CC!! Yay, Part 2!!  “God help me, I am so stupidly, helplessly in love with you,” he groaned softly as he watched Lois disappear into the elevator. He forced himself to wait ten seconds before leaping to follow her. Discreetly, of course. Awwwwwwwww Lois turned to find Clark still standing, arms full, pressed against the conference room doors. She grabbed him and steered him, none too gently, into a chair. I can totally see this... And on the day that she finally knew everything there was to know about him, did he really want her first question to be, “So why did you leave me in the sewer so long?” OMG!  I'm crying this is so funny! AND we got Henderson..Priceless!! I guess I can hang in there with an every other day schedule..I'm already counting down the minutes to Friday!! ~Liz
Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Yeah, what they said I was loving this, CC. I feel sorry for Clark... but it's funny to read about, especially the bit with Henderson! I like the insights you've got into their relationship, with Lois *not* being completely self-absorbed. I hope that means she won't entirely kill him when she finally figures it out, since she can clearly see that he's been suffering for weeks... the coward dies a thousand deaths, and all that  Post more! PJ who would prefer an EOH schedule {every other hour}
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hi, Great piece.  MAF
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Cute Part. More soon. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
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First, I must extol the virtues of WIFI because this is coming to you from an airport! Then, I have to say how happy I am to have a connection because this is just adorable..and sooo well written. Although, I can't help but think it could easily be renamed "Clark Unhinged" That poor guy's gone off the deep end! More! More! Best, Sherry
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
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How delightful to read this part! You didn't reveal very much more of that fateful night, but I'm willing to forego the details -- for now -- if you'll post part 3....now! ... ... Okay, so you're not going to post it... I can wait; I am a very patient woman. ..- I LIED! Well you can see how much I love it, along with everyone else, and since you're probably hoping for better feedback, here it is: Loved the line: The very next day, she fell from the observation deck of the Metropolis Planetarium. Up until Lois nearly died, it had been a wonderful night. Very funny  -Jo
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Cute story so far, but...
Am I the only one who thinks that this Clark is just too stupid to live? Well, maybe not quite that bad, but definitely too stupid to deserve a woman like Lois.
I guess it's time to bring back Lex, or bring Dan into the picture since it's obvious that Clark aint cutting it.
So what do you say, gentle readers? Is it finally time for Lois to sample the wonders of Minnesota?
Tank (who is looking for some kryptonite just so he can put Clark out of his misery)
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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CC WOW! Another excellent part! I love this and can't wait to read the next part. Please post it soon. Tricia 
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Thank you so much to all of you!
I am just so grateful and so enormously pleased that you are interested in this.
I appreciate all of your good words and compliments.
KathyM,Labrat,Joes,Joy,gerry,Wendy,lynnM,Liz,Pam,Maria,Laura,Sherry,Jo,Tank*,and TriciaW, you are all so generous to give your time and your comments.
Now, Tank, would it help if I hinted that the entire story hinges on a giant haircut for Lois? You know, one that makes her more aerodynamic?
(that might have been a lie, you'll have to suffer more to see...)
And Sherry, no kidding! I gave 'Clark Unhinged' serious consideration!! We might need to revisit that, see if it's more fitting.
This is so fun, thanks so much to all,
CC-
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Enjoying this very much, CC!! Poor Clark!!! . Although, I can't help but think it could easily be renamed "Clark Unhinged" That poor guy's gone off the deep end! LOL!!! Or "Clark Unraveled"... Like others have said, the humor is wonderfully sprinkled throughout the story. I can't wait to see where you take us next! More soon!! Missy
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