Last time:
Lois
"I want to stay," he told me reaching for my hand.
I didn't pull it away but I didn't curl my fingers around it either.
"The boys need you," I insisted.
He sighed. "Fine, but not until they get you settled."
"Someone will be here to take you over to the unit in a few minutes," he told me.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"Anytime, but next time try to avoid the exploding space ships, huh?"
I nodded and reached for my laptop as he left.
"I made a few small edits, but otherwise it looks good."
"Thanks." I quickly typed up an email and sent the article to Perry. I leaned back on the bed, closed my eyes and sighed.
He reached over and took my hand again, this time enveloping it in both of his. "You scared me today," he said quietly.
"I'm sorry," I whispered back. "I didn't mean to scare anyone."
"I know. And I realized something..."
I sighed and pulled my hand from his. "Why are you here, Clark? Navance is dead. We don't have to play like we're the greatest love story since Rob and Laura anymore. So why don't you quit pretending to be the doting husband and I'll call the lawyer in the morning? I'm sure you, Lana and the boys will all be very happy together."
*~*141*~*
~~~~~
Clark
~~~~~
She pulled her hand from mine. "Why are you here, Clark? Navance is dead. We don't have to play like we're the greatest love story since Rob and Laura anymore. So why don't you quit pretending to be the doting husband and I'll call the lawyer in the morning? I'm sure you, Lana and the boys will all be very happy together."
Lana?
"Lana?" I asked her.
"You know, the blonde who used to constantly be attached to your lips." Her voice was hoarse, but full of more than one kind of pain, even in a whisper.
"What about her?"
"I *saw* you two, okay?"
I could see the tears forming in her eyes.
"What? When?"
"Today. I saw you two hugging outside that café near the Planet."
I sighed. "I went in to have lunch before I headed over to EPRAD. It was packed because of the baseball game. She needed somewhere to sit. I had an extra chair."
"I see."
"That's all it was, I promise." Then I sighed again. "Okay, we talked. About a lot of things – including some of the stuff I could never tell her before because of Navance. About how exactly we ended up in Latislan and married. About why she started sleeping around for a while. About what we both want out of life today. And I gave her a big hug before we went our separate ways. That's it."
"And what you want out of life today is Lana." She shrugged. "She's what you've always wanted." She refused to look at me.
"No, she's not," I said quietly. "I knew that already, but seeing her today... We talked about that, too. She's not what I want out of life anymore. And I'm not what she wants. And I knew that before I found out she has a boyfriend who's moving back to Smallville before long."
"I see," she said again.
"She asked me some hard questions about what I want out of life – out of us – and I didn't have any answers for her. But then I saw you in there." Emotions were filling my voice and I reached for her hand. "I realized that if anything happened to you... Love is who you can't live without, remember?"
She nodded, but still refused to look at me.
"I realized that if something happened to you, I'd have to explain to Christopher and Nate why I hadn't saved you. To your dad why I hadn't protected you. To my parents why I'd realized it too late. And I'd have to live without you. In that moment, right as the explosion happened and the smoke was too thick to see through..." I choked up, tears threatening to overflow. "I realized that I don't know how to live without you anymore."
"So you're codependent," she whispered coldly.
I shook my head. "No, it's not like that at all and I think you know that. I can't imagine my life without you in it. I love you, Lois. I love you like I never loved Lana." I pulled her hand to my face and pressed my lips against it. "I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know you. I want to raise my kids with you. I want to be your partner at work and at home. I want to spend hours making love to you. And I want fast and furious sometimes, too." I smiled slightly. "I want you to call me Einstein all the time again." I took a deep breath. "Whaddya say? Are you willing to give us a real shot?"
She still didn't look at me, but didn't take her hand out of mine. "I don't know, Clark." She opened her mouth to say something else but an orderly walked in and her mouth snapped shut again.
"Mrs. Kent? We're going to move you to a room now."
She nodded and shifted on the bed, pulling her hand from mine. "Let's go," she whispered. "Why don't you go on home, Clark? If you hurry, you can still see the boys before they go to bed."
I sighed. If she didn't want to talk any more at the moment, she wasn't going to. "Okay, but I'm going to be back first thing in the morning."
She shrugged. "If you want to."
I watched as they wheeled her out and then collected my things and headed out of the building. I took a cab to the Planet and headed up to the newsroom.
"Clark, son, what're you doing here?" Perry asked as I walked in.
"I wanted to make sure you got everything okay and let you know that Lois is going to be fine," I told him.
"The articles are great, but I expected that. And I figured it would take a little more than an explosion and smoke inhalation to keep Lois down." He chuckled. "You know, I told her several times that I saw allowing her to intern from home was an investment in the future of the Daily Planet, but I really didn't expect to be completely paid back in the first week."
I laughed with him. "She's a magnet, all right. Henderson said he's going to have a word with you about our continued employment."
"Oh, he already has." Perry shook his head. "That girl..."
"You said it."
"CK!" Jimmy ran up and smacked me on the back. "How's Lois?"
I filled them both in on everything that happened at the hospital. "Anyway, I had to come back here to get a vehicle, but I need to get going to so I can see the boys before bedtime." Both the Jeep and the truck were in the Planet's parking garage.
"Listen here, son. You and Lois have put in about two months worth of work since you started. Lois has a few days off, obviously, but why don't you take them with her? Celebrate the death of Navance, a very successful first week and rest up for the next one."
I didn’t hesitate before I nodded. I'd gladly take a few days off with her. It might take that long – or longer – to convince her that I was serious when I said I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. "You got it, Chief."
We spoke for a few more minutes before I headed down to the garage to go home.
I hurried and made it home just as Sam was putting the boys in their pajamas.
"Daddy!" Christopher ran at me. "Wh're Mommy?"
I swung him into my arms. "Mommy had to stay at the hospital tonight but she's going to be just fine, little man."
"Va'-E' safe her?"
I nodded. "Yep, he did." This time it didn't bother me at all that someone else had saved her.
As long as she was safe.
I talked to him for a few more minutes then read him a book before tucking him into his bed and admonishing him to stay put. I covered the already sleeping Nate with a light blanket and headed towards Lois' old room.
It was odd to not lock the door behind me as I left our wing.
I saw the teddy bear I'd won her in the middle of the bed and I picked him up. I went on to the balcony, leaned on the railing and stared – unseeing – at the little bear.
"Days like today have a way of clarifying things, don't they?"
I hadn't heard Sam come out but he leaned against the rail next to me.
"Yeah, they do," I said quietly.
"And what exactly did it clarify?"
"That I want a life with Lois. I love her. I don't know how to live without her. I want to be the kind of husband she deserves. I want to fight and make up and pay bills and go to PTA meetings and argue over where we're going on vacation and who gets the remote. Maybe have another baby or two with her. I want to grow old with her. To spoil grandkids with her. To love her. For her to let me."
"Have you told her this?"
"I started to but they took her to her room for the night and she told me to come tuck the boys in."
"Ah. Did she believe you?"
"I think she wanted to, but I don't think she did." I sighed. "And I can't say that I blame her. For the last three and a half years, I haven't shown her that's what I want. Perry said she's got a few days off, obviously, and told me to take them with her. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to convince her, but I've got to. Somehow, I've got to convince her that I want a life with *her* - because I want *her* not just because we have two kids together and all that."
"Then get out of here with her. Go somewhere together. Give her that romantic evening we talked about a long time ago. And I still don't want to know what it is."
"Can you and Jessica and Vicki take the boys for a few days?"
"To save their family? Of course."
"Do you mind if I take her to the cabin?"
He chuckled slightly. "I'd always figured she and Lucy would go up there with their husbands some day."
I gave him a half-smile. "I know I haven't been the husband you'd want for your little girl, but I hope I can be."
He put a hand on my shoulder. "You've protected her and Christopher and maybe that was enough until now. But now... You can be what she needs. I know you can."
"I just hope she'll let me."
~~~~~
Lois
~~~~~
I knew I wasn't going to get much sleep and not just because they were going to be poking at me all night.
I wouldn't be able to sleep because of what Clark had said.
That he loved *me*.
Not Lana.
He loved me like he'd never loved Lana.
Did I believe him?
No, first, did I want to believe him?
Yes.
Definitely.
I wanted desperately to believe him.
My phone buzzed in my bag and I pulled it out.
A text message from Clark.
'Rest your voice. Get some sleep. I love you.'
Well, that explained why he didn't call – resting my voice and probably afraid I wouldn't answer. At least if he was really serious about this whole thing.
I sighed. Sleep was not going to come so I pulled my laptop out, checking my email.
I had a number of responses from friends and family. Perry, Jimmy, Martha, Vicki, Jessica, Joe.
Joe.
I hadn't talked to Joe in ages. I hadn't even realized that I'd sent the email to him. I opened his email first.
'Lois, I saw you guys on the news yesterday and my heart goes out to you. I understand a lot better what you were going through then. I wish you'd been able to confide in me, talk to me as your friend if nothing else, but knowing what kind of guy he was, I'm not surprised you chose not to – protecting Christopher was your first priority and that's the way it should have been.'
Of course he understood. I missed Joe. I missed my friend. I'd have to make a point of getting together with him and Debbie before too long. I turned back to the email.
'Debbie and I are happy and I truly hope you and Clark are, too. I hope he's everything you ever wanted. I was so glad to hear that Nate's healthy, too. That had to have been hard for you. I'd love to get together sometime soon – a double date maybe? Just not a toga party. /shudder/ I saw the transport this afternoon and I'm glad to hear you're okay. Love ya, Lolo.'
I smiled at the high school nickname. Joe was the only one who'd ever been able to get away with it.
I wrote him a short note back – basically saying thanks and I'd be in touch soon. I skimmed the rest of the emails – they all said about what I expected. Glad you're okay. Talk to you soon. Take a couple days off and bring me a big story.
The last was from Perry, of course.
As I was about to close it out, a new email popped up.
Lana.
I hesitated before opening it, but did.
'Lois, I debated for hours whether or not to write this email and then whether or not to send it. [Edit: I finished this email an hour ago and finally decided to just do it.] I saw Clark today and we talked about a lot of things – cleared the air about things we couldn't before yesterday [or two days ago, depending on when you get this]. I understand better than ever why you both did what you did. I wish it had never happened, not because I got hurt – though I wish there'd been a way around that; I don't know what it might have been – but because of the threat you guys have lived under for years now.
'I told you last week I didn't know how you lived with the sword of Damocles hanging over you at all times, and I still don't. I don't think I could handle the stress of living like that. No, I know I couldn't. I talked to Clark this morning about what he wants out of life now that you guys have choices again – choices that aren't affected by a psychotic dictator half a world away. He said he didn't really know what he wanted when I talked to him, but seeing him with you on the news coverage [they replayed the whole thing over and over... And then they played it some more]... If he hasn't realized yet how much he loves you, how much he needs you, then he's a bigger lunkhead than even I ever gave him credit for.
'I know we may never really be friends – there's too much water under the bridge for that, I think – but I'd like to think we could be in the same room together and be more than just civil to each other. Share a few Lunkhead Clark stories at the Corn Festival while he and Josh and Pete and Chad compete to see who gets the most strikes [Josh invited Chad to participate this year once he found out we started dating – since Clark wasn’t there last year – apparently, it's not as much fun with only two...].
'My life isn't anything like I thought it would be when I first dragged Clark to Metropolis. In some ways, I think it's a lot better than it would have been – because I don't think I'd ever truly be happy in the city and because I think Chad and I are a much better match than Clark and I ever were; like you and Clark are a much better match than he and I were. I understand why I didn't have an invitation to your wedding to Clark – and not just because no one did – but I'd be honored if you two would attend mine, when Chad finally gets around to asking. If everything goes as planned, we're looking at a summer wedding...
'Of course, we all know what can happen to plans. And life is what happens while you're making plans. I love Clark. I always have and part of me always will. He's a great guy and a great dad and has the potential to be the great husband you deserve. I know you may not believe him right away when he says he wants you, to build a life with you and the boys, but he'll mean it. Don't just write it off; make him prove it to you. Listen, not with your head, but with your heart, when he tells you what you mean to him. How he can't live without you.
'If someone had told me four years ago I'd be playing matchmaker with Clark and his wife, I'd have thought they belonged in the 'flying alien' crazy crowd. But you of all people know that flying aliens do exist [what's it like flying with Van-El anyway?!?! I think that would be cool...] and here I am trying to get Clark's head to realize what his heart has for a long time and trying to get you to listen to him.
'I'm glad you're okay and I hope you're fully recovered quickly. I don't expect to hear back from you, but I'm sure I'll see you around at some point. Until then, take care of yourself and take care of Clark. He needs you more than he'll ever realize I think. I'm not sure how to end this so I'll just say good-bye and good luck. Lana.'
I closed the laptop and set it on the table. I leaned my head back onto the bed.
Imagine that.
Words of wisdom from Lana Lang.
Could she possibly be right?
Could Clark mean what he said?
I sighed and closed my eyes.
I didn't really think I'd get much sleep, but I had to try.
*****
TBC
