Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: A Box of Swiss Chocolates, (21/23)

Some cliffhanger, huh?

Although feedback, as always would be appreciated, I do understand this tends to be a busy time for RL.

I'll try not to get so impatient with people giving me feedback this time.

Ooh, Sara, you're evil. Leaving us with a cliffy....is it something to do with Lex's last gasp from the grave, setting up Larry as a Trojan horse or some other trap for Superman?

Eagerly awaiting future installments.

Did read... not coherent *now* [was then].

Do hurry back...

Carol

Um, part 22? Please? Now?

Michael

How icky that it's Larry that tells L&C about Kiley's decision and not Kiley herself. I have to believe that will drive the wedge in even further.


Elisabeth

I still think Kiley's acting too quickly... maybe the secret isn't as critical to her as it is to her father... she was never in the position of being the only one with powers in the world and she grew up being used to her father's disappearances and then his secret (I don't remember if you touched on when/how the children were told Clark's secret)... and I don't know that I feel that telling Larry just to get him back was the right choice. It would have been better for her to try to work things out with him before spilling the beans and then trying to get him to meet her parents to reassure them of choice instead of diving in instantly. It also worries me that she's viewing herself as a Juliet...

Hello everyone! Thanks for the feedback. I may or may not get more feedback in the next two days, but whatever.

I figured my cliffhanger might bring people out! I know from exprience people are more likely to post if they are left with and ending like that. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it ), I'm not as good at coming up with the best possible cliffhangers as some authors are - ML comes to mind as the best at that.

Anyway, I digress.

Personal FDK

IntheAlias - Hi there. I don't know how to respond to that comment, other than to remind you that Kiley REALLY is sick at the end of chapter twenty-one.

Carol - The next part will be out on Wed.

Michael - Ah, I finally got hit with the axmen! I should have expected it for this chapter, huh? Same response as to IntheAlias. Part 22 will up on Wed.

Elisabeth - Good obesrvation. It does hit Clark VERY hard, although he's got more on his mind than that, as you will soon see.

Lieta - I will agree with you that Kiley "jumped the gun" here, objectively speaking. But she's had a stressful couple of weeks, and she just finally snapped. And quite frankly, I needed Larry in Metropolis for part 22, and this was the only way I could think of doing it.

Read more on Wed.

lol, I have something kinda similar facing me in Coin... I put one character in one place but now it's not really working to have them there... have to see how to fix it...

Okay, I'm sort of abusing the fact that I'm working from home today to catch up on the Boards. Sadly, I have more free time at work recently than in the evenings.

I have to say - much about this chapter scared me. I can understand what you are saying about Kiley snapping, but I think it was a huge mistake to tell Larry her family's secret. Not only am I not convinced she knows Larry well enough, but it shows such a lack of regard for the safety of the rest of her family that I think she just drove the wedge between her family and herself even deeper.

Of course, now that she's deathly ill, they may forget about that. And that's worrying as well. Does Larry have some sort of kryptonite with him that she has gotten two colds since she met him and this one has gotten progressively worse as he's around 24/7? I imagine that it's not intentional (now that he knows the secret, I can't imagine he'll really turn out to be evil), but still scary!

I have to wonder about the chocolate. It is a constant in the story. A part of me sees Larry as a good guy and another part says once a Luthor always a Luthor

Hi Nancy.

Thanks for the feedback.

I'm glad you find this chapter scary.

And no, she didn't put her family's safety first here. More on that later.

But I will remind you we learned from chapter eleven that Kiley is NOT effected by Kryptonite.
So that can't be the reason she's sick.

P. S. Did I not make that clear in that chapter?
I realize it was a while ago in the posts, so you could have easily have forgotten. And it's so anti-fanon about Lois and Clark's children, so it's probably not something that comes to mind.
But when I posted that chapter, I expected people to make comments on it, and no one did.
And since then, two people have made comments about Larry using Kryptonite.

Of course, the general public doesn't know that Superman's children aren't affected, but still...
Were you guys distacted because my A - plot was a little off? (It was, and I have since fixed it, for the record.)
Or is it something I really need to make clearer? It's very important for this story that the readers understand she is invulerable to Kryptonite, so I need to make sure I get it right.

Hi there, robinson! Sorry, you must have posted while I was responding to Nancy.

Welcome.

The chocolates ARE important to the story. (It's in the name, after all.) But probably not in the way you think. I will remind you that Clark found no evidence for drugs in Larry's chocolates, and he looked pretty throughly.
(Of course, you could make the argument, as he did, that Luthor's always hide their tracks well, so it doesn't necesarily mean anything.)

No, you did make it clear that the kids aren't vulnerable to K. I just forgot. My brain isn't working at full capacity. Seems to think it's allowed a vacation or something...

But of course, this makes it all the scarier. What is effecting Kiley??