Note: This past year, Kaethel was
incredible in helping me with French stuff. She edited papers, answered word questions, helped me translate idioms... She was super. So, Kaethel, once again, I would like to tell you thanks, for all the help you've given me (and all the future help I'm probably still going to ask for!
). This is for you.
Edit: As Kaethel pointed out to me on IRC, it's Thursday.
"Happy Tuesday" is a thing my family does -- when we give presents that aren't for birthday, Christmas, etc, they are "Tuesday presents" and we say "Happy Tuesday." No matter what day it is. In fact, it's better if it's
not Tuesday.
On with the story.
*****************
Reluctantly Engaged
By Bethy
*****************
Lois entered her apartment, shut the door, and immediately started the process of locking all five barriers there. It was habit, something she always did as soon as her arms were empty enough to reach them all. In fact, sometimes she forestalled emptying her arms in favor of locking the world out.
It had only taken that one time to teach her the importance of that. Fortunately, it had been an easily felled idiot the one and only time an assailant had broken in during the brief moment she was in the kitchen depositing her groceries on the kitchen table – and it just had to happen the one time she was being domestic and bringing home groceries, too. Not when her arms were full of files for an investigation, oh, no. No wonder she never had any food in her fridge or cabinets. That one time was enough to scare her off domesticity forever.
But anyway, that time it had just been someone with a petty grievance because of one of her exposes. A soft, white-collar worker, easily flipped and properly chastened by the time the police arrived. But it had been enough to convince her that the locks were more important than her aching arms full of burdens carried all the way home from wherever...usually work.
Today, however, she hesitated with only two and a half locks completed. Since this was such an oft-repeated habit, she'd fallen into a pattern of how she did it. She started at the top with her right hand, alternating all the way down in order to get them done in half the time. But her right hand stilled on the middle lock as something on her left hand caught her attention.
How gaudy.
She spread her fingers out to fully display the gigantic rock on the ring finger. Gaudy really was the only word that came to mind.
I mean, really, what was he thinking? The thing's practically bigger than my whole finger!Forcing herself to ignore the blinding diamond, Lois quickly finished with the locks, retrieved her keys from the floor – where she'd dumped them, in favor of dealing with her locks – and headed to her bedroom to divest herself of the horrid things on her feet some sadistic person decided to call shoes. Yes, they looked spectacular with her dress, but, man, could they
kill.
As she went through her normal post-date rituals, her irritation with the stupid hunk of gem and gold -- oh, no, sorry,
platinum -- grew. It snagged her nylons as she took them off. It got stuck on her dress as she tried to unzip it. It got caught in her hair as she took off her necklace. It got caught in her hair again as she took off her earrings. It managed to twist itself around on her finger somewhere along the line (another statement to its annoyance – the darn thing wasn't even sized right) and scratch her cheek as she washed her face.
It was all she could do not to yank it off and throw it across the room.
What is wrong with me? she thought.
I just got proposed to by the fourth – no, third richest man in the world, and I'm complaining that the diamond is too big?But it was. It was big, and gaudy, and annoying, and a complete and total pain in the butt!
Finally in her pajamas and ready for bed, she sat down and stared at her hand. How had this happened to her?
Oh, yeah. It was because she'd been speechless. Her. Lois Lane. Supreme Babbler.
Had been speechless.
Hard to believe, but it was the truth. They'd been in Lex's private jet, on their way to Italy for a romantic dinner, when, out of the blue, he'd unfolded the two sides of a dark velvet jewelry box and said, “Lois Lane. Will you marry me?”
Okay, so it hadn't been totally out of the blue. She'd asked what she was going to do with him, and he'd answered, “Spend the rest of your life with me, I hope.” She'd giggled, thinking he was joking.
But then he unfolded that infernal box.
She's been stunned. No, shocked. That really was the most appropriate word. For pete's sake, they hadn't even really been dating that long! She'd been so shocked that all she could do was stare. At that shockingly huge diamond. Shockingly huge, shockingly tacky, and shockingly hers.
Hers.
Yup, that's what it was now. Lex had taken her silence for affirmation and slid the ring right on her finger. Her finger. Her ring. Her decision. But now her finger bore his ring after
his decision. His assumption.
She didn't want the blasted thing!
Lois glared at the offending object, tempted again to fling it across the room. Instead, she carefully took it off and stowed it in her jewelry box, where it would be safe. From temper tantrums, at least.
Why hadn't she said something? “I need some time to think.” “It's a big decision.” “I'm sorry, but no.” Something. Anything! Anything that would have prevented him from sliding that...that monstrosity onto her hand.
And yet, what was the big deal? Lex was, as her mother would say, a great catch. He was handsome, he was smart, he thought
she was beautiful... When she was a little girl, she'd dreamed of marrying someone like him. She'd dreamed of the handsome white knight coming in and sweeping her off her feet, taking her away to their perfect life together. As she grew older, she realized that the "perfect life' was an impossibility. She'd also borne enough disappointments to make her jaded towards relationships in general. But there was still that part of her, way deep down, that remembered that little girl and really wanted to get married.
It was buried so deep inside that most of the time she forgot about it. She focused on her job, on her novel, on her friends. A few years ago that last one might have been followed by a snort of laughter and the thought, "what friends?' but now it was true. She had friends.
But having that ring slipped on her finger had brought back that little girl and suddenly, she really wanted to get married. At the same time, though, she wanted it to be
her decision! What right did Lex have to take silence as a yes? To assume that her shock was joy and that she
wanted him to go ahead and put the ring on?
The nerve!
So what if he was one of the most powerful men in the city, if not the country. If not the world. So what if he was unaccustomed to being told no. Or even being told wait. So what if she would have to be a fool to turn Lex Luthor down.
That did not give him the right. No man had the right to put a ring on her finger, to
claim her, unless she gave him permission.
The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. How
dare he? Lois Lane was not some sissy woman who needed a man to make her decisions for her! She was a Kerth-winning investigative reporter who'd been living on her own for almost a decade. She was perfectly capable of answering a yes or no question!
And, really, this did not bode well for any future decisions in their relationship. If he just assumed she was of like mind, without any discussion or input from her, what would he do with future decisions? He would probably plan their wedding, their honeymoon, their entire
lives without even consulting her! After all, she'd set the precedent by letting him assume yes tonight.
Because she hadn't said anything right then. Nothing at all. She hadn't given the ring back, or said she needed to think, or anything. She'd just stayed silent, simpering appropriately during the date, pretending as if she were thrilled, all the while wondering what on earth she was going to do.
And now, how could she say anything? How could she, essentially, go back on her word? Tell him she'd changed her mind? Which, technically, wasn't exactly true, since she hadn't answered in the first place, but that's what it would look like.
What was she going to do?
What did she want to do?
She didn't know the answer to either one.
~~~~{~}~~~~
The next morning, Lois woke up early. Even though it was Saturday and she had the day off, she decided to go into work and talk to Perry. She knew he'd be there, and maybe he'd have something insightful to say to help her make her decisions.
After getting dressed, she was almost to the door when she remembered it. The ring. She didn't exactly want to wear it in public and be forced into an announcement before she was ready, but what if she ran into Lex and he wondered where it was? Then again, how would she run into Lex going to the Planet?
But what if he'd already told people and she met someone wanting to see the ring? Uh-oh. What if he'd already told people? How was she supposed to break it off if he'd already told people? It would be bad enough telling
him that she didn't want to marry him. How would the rest of the world take the news?
Then again, it was all a moot point if she decided to marry him.
But how could she? How could she just give up all control of her life, her entire identity, to become Mrs. Lex Luthor?
She didn't think she could do that.
“Perry, I need to talk to you.” She barged right into his office without even knocking, the ring safely in her purse where it was easily accessible should she need it, but out of sight for any prying eyes and gossips. AKA Cat.
“Well, good morning to you, too, Lois,” Perry replied calmly. “Why don't you come in, have a seat? Would you like a cup of coffee? A donut? What can I do for you this fine morning?”
“Okay, okay, drop the sarcasm. Sorry. Am I interrupting anything?” There was nobody else in the office, and Perry's desk was relatively clear, so she didn't think she was. But she didn't want to get on his bad side before bringing this up.
“Naw, honey, you're fine.”
“Good.” She shut the door, plopped down on the couch and said, “I need your help.”
“What's this?” Perry started fumbling around his desk, looking for something. “Mad Dog Lane admits she needs help? Where's my calendar? I've got to mark this one down!”
She was not amused and let him know it. “Cut the jokes, Perry. I'm in a predicament and I don't know what to do.” For crying out loud, this was big! Not just big -- huge. No, gigantic. No, colossal!
“Sorry, darlin'.” His expression turned serious and she knew that he was paying attention and ready to help. “What's wrong?”
Lois wasn't sure how to go into all the details, so she went with stating the basic issue. “Lex proposed.”
Obviously, that was the wrong approach, because Perry just looked baffled. “Well, um, congratulations?”
That was not the response she needed. “But I don't know if I want to marry him,” she wailed.
“Oh. Okay, then.” Perry seemed to be searching for what to say. “So you told him no?”
“No! That's just it. I was too shocked to say anything and he assumed that was a yes and he slipped the ring on my finger and now I don't know how to tell him I'm not sure without it seeming like a slap in the face, which would pretty much end any chance of a future proposal if I decided I do want to marry him and would make him really mad at me even if I do end up deciding that I can't marry him ever and I just don't know what to do!”
There went the babble-mode. Why couldn't it have kicked in last night, when she needed it? Okay, so she probably would've put her foot in her mouth more than once, but it would be infinitely better than the situation in which she now found herself. Maybe.
Perry leaned back in his chair and steepled his hands. “You've sure got yourself in a pickle, now haven't you?”
“Thanks, Perry. I figured that one out on my own. Got anything useful to say?”
“Thought you told me to can the sarcasm.”
“Perry!” Unable to sit still, Lois got up and started pacing the office. “I really don't know what to do here! I mean, I should tell him right away. I shouldn't keep this from him. If I decide I don't want to marry him, it's just cruel to let him believe I'm thrilled with the idea for weeks and then just drop a bomb on him.”
She paused in her pacing to directly face Perry. “But then again, what if I decide I
do want to marry him? If I've told him I have any doubts at all, will he even want me back? And even if he does, it'll take forever to establish any decent level of trust between us. I mean, basically, I
lied to him!”
“Now, slow down, honey.” Perry held up a hand to forestall any further outbursts. “Sit down.”
“But--”
He stared her down. “I said. Sit. Down.”
She heaved a sigh. “Fine.”
“Thank you. Now.” It was obvious Perry was organizing his thoughts. That's what she liked about him. She knew she would get a reasoned argument. Well, except when she came in with some crazy undercover scheme. Then he usually went off on a rant before letting her go. But that was as much for show as for anything else. He couldn't let the rest of the reporters think that he'd let them
all start deciding all their own assignments.
“First of all,” Perry said. “You did not "lie' to Lex.”
“Yes, I did! And I'm not a liar. Okay,” she backtracked. “So, I've bent a few rules...well, laws, actually, when pursuing a story. And I've fudged the truth, a few times... But all in the name of the story! And I guess I've lied a couple times to get annoying dates off my back... But I don't lie to people I care about, I don't do--”
“LOIS!”
She looked up at him, her eyes wide at his outburst.
“Lois, sit back down.”
Sit back down? When had she gotten up? Oh. During her tirade. Oops.
“Sorry,” she muttered.
“Now, listen to me, Lois, and you listen good. You didn't lie. You simply had a moment of...miscommunication.”
Miscommunication? Yeah, miscommunication. She liked that. Slightly mollified, she allowed herself to relax into the soft embrace of the couch. “But, still, Perry, what am I going to do?”
“Do? Well, now, that depends.”
“On what?”
“On what you want.”
“But, Perry, I don't know what I want!”
“Lois, honey, think like a reporter. Look at the facts. Are there any gaps? If so, fill them. Then go over all the information you have and make a decision. So, first off, do you love him?”
“Love him?”
“Yes. Do you love Lex?”
“I--I--I don't know.”
“You know,” Perry mused. “Elvis wasn't the first man to propose to Priscilla.”
She should have been timing him. She'd known Perry couldn't go long without bringing in an Elvis story. Then again, sometimes Perry's wacky stories ended up bringing a flash of idea, or understanding, so she might as well play along. “He wasn't?”
“Oh, no, sirree.” Perry settled back in his chair and Lois stifled a groan. Not a long Elvis story. She didn't think she could handle a long one right now. She had to go figure out if she loved Lex or not.
“One of the colonels on the army bases--”
“You mean the Colonel?”
“What?” Perry was startled out of his Elvis reverie to look at her. “Aw, no, not
the Colonel. A different one. Anyway, this officer was head over heels for her. He was a mighty handsome fellow. And powerful, too, what with being a colonel and all. And charming. Yup, he was a charmer.”
Lois tried not to squirm. Would he just get to the point? Then again, half his Elvis stories didn't have points. So, barring a point, couldn't he just get to the end?
“Now Priscilla was just about to accept his proposal when Elvis started coming around.” Perry smiled dreamily at the thought of his favorite couple. Then he turned his attention back to Lois, “You know, Priscilla and this colonel might not have been half bad together, but Elvis... Elvis was her perfect match. And you know what else? She'd have missed that if she'd settled for "not half bad.' You see what I'm saying?”
No, she didn't.
She sighed and told herself not to be stubborn. Okay. It
seemed like he was saying that Lex was only "not half bad,' and she should hold out for someone better. But that made it seem like she was desperate to get married and only considering his proposal because she thought nobody else would have her. And that was crazy. Not to mention impossible -- there
wasn't anyone better than Lex. Well...unless you included Superman.
But that was impossible, too. Superman was a fantasy. He belonged to the world. And no matter how much she might love him, he would never be hers. The thought had been growing in the back of her mind for a while now and really solidified now. She still loved him, she still wanted him, and she still made comments about him -- like after Perry's crazy bungee-jump after that whole Superman clone thing a couple weeks ago. She'd told Clark that companionship for Superman wasn't a problem -- she was available!
Really, though, regardless of whether or not she was available, companionship for Superman
was a problem. He was an icon, a celebrity beyond all celebrities. He, and his life, belonged to the world. And there was nothing she or any other person could do about that. Oddly enough, that idea didn't hurt as much as she would have expected it to. Because she was in love with Lex now? She wondered.
Speaking of Lex... It was just ludicrous to say he was only "not half bad.' But Perry was trying to be helpful, and she had been the one to ask him for advice. She stood up.
“Thanks, Perry. You've given me a lot to think about.”
Yeah, so much that I'm more confused than ever.“Good. You go...think.”
~~~~{~}~~~~
Perry watched Lois leave his office and walk towards the elevator. As soon as the doors slid shut behind her, he leaned back and gave a sigh of relief. One of these days she was going to realize that most of the Elvis stories he told were made up on the spot.
He just hoped it wasn't today.
~~~~{~}~~~~
TBC in part two, tomorrow.
Comments and praise to Kaethel for her superness can go
here
