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Hack from Nowheresville
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OP
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 279 |
Hey, Anna, great start! I'm assuming that since Lois "was not exactly a star" this is an elseworlds? Or at least an alternate time frame for their meeting?
Oh, goody!
I love that Lois is attracted to him so early on and is fighting with herself about what to do about that. Now, don't let Cat horn in on Lois's territory, even if Lois doesn't recognize it's her territory yet! <g>
I'm eager to see where you go with this.
Bethy
I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Anna A great start!  I can't wait to see where this is headed. Tricia 
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
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Anna, Very interesting start. What fun to see Lois be the one to fall head over heels. We really didn't get Clark's pov... it will be interesting to see what he thought of Lois! (will this be a complete role reversal, or was Clark attracted to "the brunette over there"? Or maybe he'll fall for Cat! heaven forbid.) You also piqued my curiosity with this: Her last article was before her eyes. Seeing it, she remembered once again that painful night. She had never felt so embarrassed and humiliated before. Well, she had helped arresting York Saulter, of course, a guy who had ravished twenty-six women and children. But was it worth all this pain, all this torture, all this shame? She took a sip of coffee. <Maybe,> she thought. <After all, nobody knows. And nobody will ever do.> There seems to be more here than just the pain that comes from doing a story about human suffering. What, exactly, happened that nobody knows? Looking forward to Part 2! - Vicki 
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
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Oh! A new twist to the pilot Anna, come back here and post the second part, it was a little bit short  Jose
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Hmmm, interesting beginning!  It does seem like this is a younger Lois. I like her plan to test Clark by checking his reaction to Cat!  The inclusion of that novel is fascinating, too, the way it gets Lois to think about her reactions. And there does seem to be something a lot deeper behind that rape story. I'm almost not sure I want to know... PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great start.  But was it worth all this pain, all this torture, all this shame? She took a sip of coffee. <Maybe,> she thought. <After all, nobody knows. And nobody will ever do.>  What happen to her? <<Did you forget what you felt when you first saw him?>>
She shook her head. No, of course she hadn’t forgot. She had never felt like this before. At least, not so intensely.
<<So why are you making it hard to yourself?>>
She sighed again. Maybe the voice was right, after all. Maybe she should just try stopping controlling herself like this.
<What must happen, happens.>
She just had to act natural from now on, and see what it resulted in.
<Yes… But what’s natural?>
She shook her head. No thoughts like this were needed now! Natural would just be the way she’d naturally react. Whichever this way was.  She acting like 14 year old girl. More soon, please. MAF
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 199
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 199 |
Hi Anna! I loved the plot!!! Lois falling in love with Clark as soo as she met him it's very good and a different way to see our so great Mad Dog Lane behave towards Clark. I love when I can see a twist from an episode especially The Pilot that it's one of my favorites. Oh I loved this part: Lois had turned her head towards the door, but then had to turn back and slap her mouth with her hand, to keep herself in control. She had never seen such a handsome man. Tall, with a nice body, black hair, brown eyes and such a beautiful expression on his face… A pleasant, innocent expression, but not geeky at all. <Now, here’s a *real* man.> She grabbed the edge of her chair and squeezed it tightly, in an effort to keep herself from shrieking. Believe me if I was her I would react the same way /me hides from her boyfriend  I liked when Lois was arguing with herself...it sounds so Lois. It's good to see Lois being nice even though I love her Mad Dog Lane look. Clark is well...Clark.... should I say more? She isn't in control for the first time and I can't wait to see where you're going with this. Well done, Anna now I want more. Don't keep me waiting! Super kisses, Raquel
"It's not the years that count, it's the moments, right now as they happen." (Clark Kent to Lois Lane - Brutal Youth - S4)
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Anna,
great start
can't wait to see what's next
merry
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 244 |
Hi Anna! What an intriguing start to your story. With a peculiar twist: Lois falling for Clark right away. With unanswered questions to peek the readers' curiosity: what about Clark's feelings for Lois? What about that rape story? (although, like Pam, I'm not sure I really want to know....) Can't wait to find out what you'll give us next...keep posting Sira - curious and (im)patient
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