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Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764 |
Wow - another superman from another universe! That could be just what they need!
I know I haven't been commenting much lately, but MORE SOON!
Carol
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
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Wow! This part had me on the edge of my seat.  I can hardly wait to see who the other Superman is and how they are going to straighten out this mess.
"We've been sitting here all night and the longest conversation you've had with a woman was when your mom called."
Leonard to Howard: The Big Bang Theory
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Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764 |
Maybe the other one is already Superman in his world and he has his own Suit with him  . And maybe Lois is on the plane too! That would be interesting. Carol [who may or may not be going overboard ]
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1 |
Oh wow, Shayne. This story is incredible!
Nan
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Another great dramatic chapter! As always, your portrayal of the secondary characters and their reactions fleshes things out. Interviewing Superman on that shipping dock had seemed like the break she’d been waiting for. It had done great things for her career, getting her a shiny new job with a major network. Nice to see you again, Anita! You can have Lois's job when she goes home with Clark. I thought telling part of this chapter through her eyes worked very well. It wasn’t until he was almost to the rift that he saw the shadow inside the second rift. It took him a moment to realize that it was coming toward him, like the shadow of a shark coming from deep inside the water.
Before he could react it was coming through.
It was a 747 and it was on fire. I hope there aren't people arriving through rifts like this all over the country... There was a hand coming from the underside of the wing, and a moment later a face appeared from behind it as well.
The face was his own. And as much as a second Clark would help with the unfolding disaster, Clark needs to tell him "Get back through that rift right now!" Like everyone else, I wonder if Clark 2 is already Superman. I'm looking forward to seeing how this works out. Is this just the first of many alternate Clarks? Every time a new chapter of Veritas comes out, I'm happy for about five minutes as I read it. 
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
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 YES!! Another Superman! Delightful twist. === That said I continue to enjoy the depth you give this story with other characters being more than just spear carriers.
Framework4
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Talk about a cliffhanger! Still reading and enjoying this fic.
JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,982 Likes: 11 |
This chapter is distilled awesomeness! Bravo, Shayne! 
~•~
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Wow!!! Fantastic!!! I'm so reminded of a comic book arc where the world was being swallowed by some unspeakable cosmic force, and Lois was standing atop a skyscraper, as the fog slowly enveloped her, reporting stubbornly into her microphone, telling everybody she would report as long as she could. And finally, when she couldn't see anything at all, and she herself would be obliterated any second, she said, "Clark... I love you". (She was saved or brought back later.) Anyway, Anita Mendosa in this fic reminds me very much of the Lois in that comic book: Clearing her throat slightly, she said, “We'll continue to report for as long as we are able.” Awesome. Anita sighed slightly. “There's no news helicopter waiting to pull me and my crew out. All such vehicles were commandeered several hours ago to transport city officials and their families.”
It was difficult to keep the anger and bitterness out of her voice. What those people had done was criminal and craven, and she hoped that whatever came out of the wreckage of all of this, they'd pay for deserting everyone.
Her parents were watching, and she wanted them to be proud of her. She stared into the camera and said, “All of this while tens of thousands of poor and middle class families are stranded on the road or in their homes waiting for the end to come.” How disgusting! How typical! You know, all the students at my school are going to see an exhibition about Pompeii, the Roman city that was buried during an eruption of Mount Vesuvius during 79 A.D. One of the teachers at my school insists that most of the corpses found under the thick layers of ash wore chains around their necks. They were slaves. They were the ones who had to remain in the doomed city, while the free and wealthy fled. Worse, he could hear the sounds of people singing just down the road. There was a church on a hill there, and the people had to see the light of this by now. They should have been screaming in fear or fleeing for their lives.
Instead they were singing, raising their voices over the sound of sirens and wind and fire.
He couldn't let them down. He wouldn't. If there was breath left within him, he'd stop them from burning. Amazing. Wow. What a mental image, the people singing in the church, and Clark hearing them, and resolving that despite the impossible odds, he wasn't going to let them down. Clark felt a moment of hopelessness. It was what he'd always secretly feared, even more than being rejected as an alien freak. He'd hidden and told himself that it was because he didn't want to be hounded by the world. The truth was far simpler.
He'd failed his parents the night he was ten. He'd been too slow, too weak, and he'd been forced to watch them die and burn. The reason he hadn't done any of this until he'd been prompted by Lois was because he'd known he was going to face choices like this.
Because of him, people were going to die. How incredibly moving! What a reason for Clark not to become Superman, with the memory of his parents burning to death forever burnt into his retinas! The world seemed frozen for a moment as Clark floated, indecisive.
At last he straightened. He'd made his choice. One of the three groups had to die.
Like hell they did. Wow!!!!  He scrabbled to find a handhold, a place where the plane didn't tear itself apart under him. The slide stopped suddenly and Clark risked a glance down.
There was a hand coming from the underside of the wing, and a moment later a face appeared from behind it as well.
The face was his own. Wow!!!!! What an amazing part, Shayne!!!! Ann
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,951 Likes: 28 |
This part sure had the action spinning out of control. Great stuff. Michael 
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Kerth
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Kerth
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This ought to be interesting - the plane on fire makes me wonder if it's the Superman Returns version, but probably not.
Marcus L. Rowland
Forgotten Futures, The Scientific Romance Role Playing Game
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2006
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Oh, wow! You continue to amaze me with every new chapter! Anita Mendosa straightened her shoulders and then looked grimly into the camera and tried not to cough. The young reporter from the docks! Nice to see her again! Anita sighed slightly. “There’s no news helicopter waiting to pull me and my crew out. All such vehicles were commandeered several hours ago to transport city officials and their families.” These city officials can kiss their jobs goodbye when they come back!  Cars began honking up ahead and she could hear an unfamiliar sound from up ahead.
“I hear something,” she said. “It sounds like…cheering.”
A moment later her cameraman filmed a crushed car flying smoothly overhead, borne aloft by a familiar figure in blue and red.
“He really is Superman,” Anita murmured to herself. Realizing she was on camera again she flushed and said, “We have a new development. Traffic is starting to move.” Don´t flush, Anita, you are right! And right now, you told everyone in front of their TV screens! And finally: it´s blue and red again? Where did the white go? Lois’s voice spoke. “We understand. The people here want to thank you for everything you’ve done.”
A chorus of voices rang out in his ear.
“I want to thank you,” Lois said. Her voice sounded hoarse, throaty, and Clark had a moment where he wondered exactly what she meant. It seems he has got the officials in Washington behind him now... Nobody will try to shoot him again! And Lois... The fireball was massive, covering the entire sky. In truth it was probably only a mile wide, but to Anita it seemed like it covered everything. Worse, it didn’t fade or burn away. It was as though the fire was continuously being fed from inside the rift.
The sound of the wind was like a hurricane, but this time it wasn’t something to fear. It was the sound of Superman saving them.
Anita glanced at her cameraman. His camera was up and the light was on. They were broadcasting. Whether anyone would see it was anyone’s guess. If the satellite bowl on top of the van is still intact, they will be broadcasting. A TV network that cuts off a live report like that doesn´t deserve its name. This kind of pictures will convince the whole world of a real existing Superman! As he closed with the first rift, he tried to stare into the second. He didn’t know where the fire was coming from, but there didn’t seem to be an end to it and no matter how he blew, there always seemed to be more. What kind of fire is this?  It wasn’t until he was almost to the rift that he saw the shadow inside the second rift. It took him a moment to realize that it was coming toward him, like the shadow of a shark coming from deep inside the water.
Before he could react it was coming through.
It was a 747 and it was on fire. If it had been empty, he’d have let it crash. He had more important things to do than grab an empty piece of machinery, and the plane would have missed the news van in any case.
But there were people inside the plane, and they were screaming. OMG!  Suddenly the plane buckled under him and he felt it slipping. He couldn’t even afford to look down.
He scrabbled to find a handhold, a place where the plane didn’t tear itself apart under him. The slide stopped suddenly and Clark risked a glance down.
There was a hand coming from the underside of the wing, and a moment later a face appeared from behind it as well.
The face was his own.  I already speculated in another review about a second Superman from one of the other universes, but I didn´t really expect it! At least this will be a solution for Clarks´ problem in rescuing the people in the church and the reporters! But who is this new Superman? Another universe, same character? Or is he a different kind of Clark/Superman? What are his intentions? OK, he is saving the plane right now, but what kind of person is he? And now you are going to let me wait with this very evil cliffhanger! Do you really think I´m able to survive that? Please, next chapter, soon! 
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
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Wow!
Shayne, you are indeed a gold medalist when it comes to "reader incentives" at the end of your chapters. You've guaranteed that everyone who reads this offering will pound their computer desks and shout, "Tell me what happens next!"
The action was outstanding. We didn't see much of Lois here, but what we did see was most important. She's all but told Clark that she's in love with him, and he'll probably realize it if the rifts ever slow down.
I'm wondering if this latest rift is a time jump as well as a universe jump. If so, that would mean that this Clark and the passengers on the plane (and the plane itself) are already in this reality. And if they're here for a second time, what does that do to the timelines of all these universes? Remember the passenger pigeons? They had to come from somewhere, and maybe they came from a different when also.
Whatever! This is a very tense story, Shayne, and I was literally bouncing in my chair as I read about the plane, the van, and the church. Now maybe our Clark can save all three groups - with a little help from his new friend.
Who is that flying man, anyway?
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Yow! Things are really happening here! Great chapter, Shayne!
You've done a good job from going to small things (cut-in-half passenger pigeons, stranded eurypterids) to large (the population of Denver at risk! Dinosaurs in New York!) and making them plausible, and fascinating. In fact, I look almost every day to see if there is an update. And then there is an update, and it's so good, but it ends so soon! And it's tantalizing!
Do you deliberately sit at your desk, writing this great story, and then you give the evil laugh ("Mwah-ha-ha-hah!") as you consider which cliff to leave the readers hanging on? I'm like DebbieG, who said, "Every time a new chapter of Veritas comes out, I'm happy for about five minutes as I read it. [Dance] Then I have to wait for the next one..."
So please, please, write more soon as you've got me on the edge of my chair!
More random thoughts.....
Great job setting up three different challenges/rescues at the same time for Clark, challenges that are really a no-win scenario. And great job also showing Clark's thoughts, resolve, and the things that make him Superman, really: his desire to help, and his indomitable will.
The new Clark - can't wait to see more of him! Is he the Clark from "Lois and Clark", the one who didn't lose his parents at age ten, the one who the whole show is about? Or is it some other alt-Clark?
And, if he stays in our world for some time, and gets a minute to sit down and not just deal with one crisis after another, what will his feelings be when he realizes that he's a fictional character in our world, and that everyone knows his secret identity? If he is the Clark from "Lois and Clark", he's got a secret identity that works. Better keep those passengers on his airplane ignorant!
Does the repeat of the "airplane in danger scenario" happen because the three universes are so closely linked that events must, by necessity, be very similar or identical? Or, as another poster suggested,
And if one Superman is making our government nervous, what will two do? But of course, by now, with his actions with the rifts, Superman has proved himself a friend.
But do the professional paranoids feel that way? They are probably more concerned about the power he's showing. Now they're probably even more paranoid.
Or have they just accepted that they can't do anything to Clark anyway, so just shut up and be glad he's a good guy?
Lois has basically admitted to Clark (and everyone, if they had ears to hear) that she's in love with him, that he's pulled her out of her shell, helped her to live again. Please tell me that they'll be together in the end! (Or will they still have some travails to conquer first?)
With regards to the technology that created the rifts - is this event (with multiple, uncontrolled rifts) scary enough that it will discourage further use of the technology? (Of course, Clark's damaging of the LHC will cause delay, but eventually the LHC will get fixed and we might be back in the same situation.) Will the scientists be able to study this phenomenon without triggering it, and somehow learn to control it? Is that past the scope of this fic? I can't help wondering what's going to happen with the new technology.
So, in summary of my concerns:
1) Protagonist Clark is up to his *posterior* in alligators - but he has taken up the mantle of Superman and knows that is to be his life's work. He's settled his mental issues, now he's just working on the details.
2) Not much Lois in this action-packed chapter, but her short appearance had incredible significance. Protagonist Lois has revived from her withered, dead, dry state and has blossomed again, her spirit alive within her, as she realizes she loves Clark. And she's admitted it to him. Yay!
3) But can we get them back together? And can they go back to Clark's world, so he can have his cherished secret identity?
4) And what about the other Clark or Superman? Who is he, where's he from, are they working on the same tech in his world? In fact, is Protagonist-Clark's world working on the rift tech? Are these the three universes mentioned in the chapter about the LHC malfunction?
5) And I still don't want to forget about all the passengers from the plane that Clark saved back in the first chapter! I'd hate to see those natives of Clark's universe stuck in our paranoid, suspicious, damaged world. They deserve better.
But how is Clark going to get them back? (It has to be him, right?) And, if he's busy working on the rifts, is he going to lose his chance to go through the rift that connects to his Metropolis?
6)And if Clark does get Lois, himself, and all the original passengers back to his universe, what will be the effect on our universe? For a time, Superman was real! You've done some great writing about it so far, about the effect on the characters you've described (some of whom I can remember vividly even though they haven't been seen for many chapters). It seems that by now there should be plenty of footage of Superman in action. No one will be able to deny it in the future.
And just the concept that parallel worlds are real - wow! I sense an upswing of jobs for quantum physicists. And lots of grant money.....
This chapter was so exciting - I don't know if I can survive the adrenalin rush until the next chapter comes out. (*Grovel*) - Please post more soon!
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Whoa!
Didn't even think of that possibility...
James
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Everyone who is reading Veritas should check out this column by Gail Collins in today's New York Times: Digging Ourselves a Black Hole And, uh, Shayne: Whenever you feel like posting part 49 of your fic...? Ann
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