As ever, thanks to the wonderful ladies, Alisha, Beth, Nancy and CarolynK.
Parts of this section used to be MUCH longer because when I was 'Nanoing' I thought 'hey what better way to pad my word count than to put all of the longest wedding vows I can find and then some in twice - you know 'repeat after me I...' and then 'I...'. Yeah. I cut that out
. Ann - go with the whole traditional wedding thing
. As I reread this I could almost see your comments [that's not a bad thing BTW and I don't want to make it seem like I think that], but they're going with a traditional wedding in the late 80s where Clark gives Lucy away yada yada yada.
I *could* see Lois doing it [though I never heard of that or even both parents walking the bride down the aisle until I was much older and then there's the whole 'giving' thing...], but they chose to go this route
.
Someone - Terry? - mentioned in the last FDK thread [which I haven't had a chance to respond to yet] said that Lois really does need to seek professional help. I know that, and you guys know that, but whether *she* knows that may be a different issue. That said, she does talk to Alice, though I don't currently have any of that written [and the whole 'Alice has a degree' thing surprised me a week or so ago], but trust that I'll get them there at some point in the not too distant future.
For those who don't know what pleading the Fifth is... The Fifth Amendment to the Constitution says that you can't be forced to incriminate yourself. So if you're on trial for something, they can't compel you to testify and say things that will make you look guilty. [Of course, 'pleading the Fifth' is often taken as a guilty conscience even though juries, etc. aren't supposed to see it as any kind of admission of guilt or anything like that.] So if someone says "I plead the Fifth", they're saying the answer could incriminate them in whatever and so they choose not to answer.
More below...
*****
Chapter 40
*****
April 1989
*****
Lois sat up and stared unseeingly into the dark. She could hear her own breathing fill the apartment. She shut her eyes tightly and willed the faces to go away. She had no idea how long it was before Clark's voice finally broke through. She felt herself flinch as he touched her.
"Lois. Honey. Let it go. It was just a dream."
Her breathing slowed and she allowed herself to be tugged into Clark's embrace. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Hey, it's okay," he murmured into her hair. "Are *you* okay?"
She nodded. "I'm getting there."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"In a minute." She felt Clark pull her closer and gently rub her arm, reminding her that she was safe. She wasn't sure how long it was before she took a deep breath and started. "It was a new one," she said softly. "A weird amalgamation of several of my more common recurring nightmares."
"Do you want to tell me about it?” he asked quietly. “Or do you remember?"
"I remember my dad, and one of his girlfriends, laughing as they drove away and my mom drinking and telling them to have fun – but really sarcastically, not like she meant it." She took a breath. "And then I was sleeping in my room and *he* was there."
"Oh, honey."
"Then it was pretty much the same as the others but in my room instead of the conference room. The only... saving grace, I guess, was that it was on the floor and not my bed."
"Small favors, huh?"
"Yeah." She was silent for a moment. "Tomorrow is a year," she finally said quietly.
"I know."
"You weren't going to mention it if I didn't though, were you?"
"No. I was kind of hoping you wouldn't realize until after it was over."
A tear slipped out of one eye, sliding down her cheek until it landed on Clark's chest. "I was hoping I'd be further than this now," she whispered.
"I know, but honestly, you've made - *we've* made so much progress since this time last year. I'm happy where we are."
"Really?"
"I love you, Lois. I love you on so many different levels. I love you as my work partner. Your writing makes mine better; it always has. I love you as my best friend. The one person I can tell anything and everything. I love you as my wife, my soul mate. The woman who will spend the rest of my life with me. I love you as the woman who will – someday – be my first and only lover and the mother of my children. The part where we'll make love is only a part of why I love you and what I love – or will love – about our lives together." He kissed her hair. "Think about a year ago tonight. Think about it honestly. How did you feel about me a year ago?"
One tear followed another down her face to his chest. "I think part of me hated you. Maybe not hated, but wanted to hate you; thought I hated you. You were having sex with another woman – and even though we weren't, you'd promised me so many times that you wouldn't cheat on me. I knew that I was weeks away from you leaving me – either for Mayson or someone else or no one. I couldn’t believe that you'd really love me at all, much less enough to stay long enough to let me work through my issues. And..." She stopped, unable to go on.
"What, honey?"
"You're going to hate this," she warned.
"It's okay."
"Part of me wondered if you wouldn't... not force exactly, but guilt me into sex. The whole 'I've worked my tail off for over three years to get us through college and take care of your sister – you owe me' or 'if you don't want me to leave, you'll have sex with me' type thing."
Clark was indignant. "Lois, I would *never*..."
She covered his mouth with her fingers. "I know that *now*, but then... You wanted to know what I felt a year ago tonight and that's part of what I was feeling."
"I had no idea you felt that way," he finally said quietly.
"That's because I didn't tell you."
"So, given all those things – how you felt a year ago tonight – and where we are now, can you really say we've made no progress?"
"I didn't say we'd made *no* progress, just that I wish I was further by now."
"I know." He kissed her head. "I know."
"Can I ask you the same thing Clark? How did you feel about me a year ago tonight?"
Clark didn't say anything for several minutes. "It's hard to explain," he finally said. "I loved you, but different than how I love you now. It was a feeling, which is good. But love is more than that. To a certain extent, love is a choice. I chose to be there with you every night, every day, even though I felt you pulling farther and farther away from me all the time. It would have been easy for me to just sort of bail like you thought I was going to, but I also knew that wasn't what I wanted. I was afraid that you were going to do that and I was trying plan how I'd win you back if you did. I was counting the money I'd saved in my head and how best to spend it to get the most bang for my buck; to impress you the most, if I thought that was what it was going to take to get you to stay. I hated the distance between us and couldn't wait to graduate so that we could finally spend time together and maybe I could figure out what it was that kept us from committing more fully to each other. Maybe get you to open up to me about your past, your family. I had *no* idea how you felt and I knew that, but I didn't know just how little I knew."
"And now?" she asked quietly.
"Now, I love you more than I ever have. I'm glad that you didn't leave. I still get mad when I think about what happened to you, but at the same time..." His voice trailed off.
"At the same time, if it wasn't for that, we wouldn't be here now?"
"Yeah."
"Where do you think we'd be?"
"I don't know," he said honestly. "I don't think we would have left Metropolis together. We wouldn't have the money we do. Though that's small compensation for what happened, it's true. A week or so before graduation, I would have asked you out for a date the day after graduation. What would you have said?"
"I don't know. I think I would have said yes, but still questioned your motives – if it was just a ploy to get me to have sex with you or if your motives were more altruistic than that."
Clark chuckled. "Well, I won't lie and say that I didn't hope it would lead to making love with you someday, but I certainly didn't expect it to for a while. I didn't really have a timeline in mind or anything, but I figured it would be at least a couple months, if not longer and I was okay with that. I just wanted a chance to romance you, no matter how long it took for us to get to that point."
Lois started to reply but her words were cut off by a yawn.
"You should try to get some more sleep. We have a big day tomorrow."
"You did that on purpose, didn't you?"
"Did what?"
"Planned a whole, very busy, day at the Louvre."
"Who me?" Clark asked innocently.
"Yes, you."
"Can I plead the fifth?"
"No. We're not in the States."
"I'm still an American citizen," he pointed out.
"You're a strange visitor from another planet," she said with another yawn. "And you can't plead the fifth when you're here like this with me."
"Then yes, I did it on purpose."
"That's what I thought."
*****
"We're out of coffee," Lois told Clark the next morning as he got ready to get in the shower. "I'm going to run down and get some in a minute."
He stopped on his way to the bathroom. "I can do it if you'd like."
She shook her head. "That's okay. I don't mind. And I'm the one who needs the coffee, Mr. Caffeine-doesn't-affect-me."
He laughed and called back to her before he shut the door. "Then you're in charge of coffee."
Ten minutes later, he emerged to find Lois still gone. He noticed a piece of paper sitting on his pillow. He picked it up and looked at it for a long minute before sticking it in his nightstand and finishing getting dressed.
That afternoon, Lois stood in front of some of the paintings from Northern Italy that were housed at the Louvre. She wasn't sure where Clark had disappeared to, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. There had been butterflies in her stomach all day and she couldn't pin down why.
"Excuse me?" A voice beside her startled her.
She looked up to see Clark standing there with an oddly nervous expression on his face. "Hi."
He held out a hand. "I'm Clark. I’m from Kansas by way of Metropolis." He shook his head. "I'm not sure I'd have any clue about any of this if it wasn't for an Art Appreciation class I took in college."
She gave him an odd look but took his hand. "Lois. Metropolitan born and bred. And I'm with you on the art thing."
"Listen, I don't normally walk up to women in art museums, but... would you like to go out with me sometime?" He swallowed hard and Lois thought he looked even more nervous.
She glanced at his hand then looked back at the painting. "What would your wife think about that?"
He groaned slightly. "She said it was okay if I asked you out," he said softly. "In fact, I'd like to think she encouraged it."
She nodded. "In that case, I'd like that, but I'm going to be out of town this weekend on business and next weekend I'm leaving for the States for a couple weeks. My sister's getting married."
"Whaddya know? I'm leaving for the States next week too. Are you going to be in Metropolis?"
"Yes."
"I know a great little Italian restaurant I went to once. Can I take you one night while we're both there?"
"I'd like that a lot," she said shyly. "But I don't know that I'll have time until after the wedding's over. I'm very involved in the planning of it and stuff."
"After the wedding it is then. I'll make sure to contact you with the details."
"I look forward to it."
He smiled at her again and turned around and walked off.
Lois followed him with her eyes until he left the room, the butterflies in her stomach starting to settle down. She'd been wondering when and how he was going to do that since she'd left the coupon on his pillow earlier in the morning. She was ready for this. She thought she was ready for this. She *wanted* to go on that date with Clark – more than she'd wanted just about anything before. And she'd wanted to take the awfulness that could have permeated this day for the rest of their lives and turn it into something positive. The day Clark asked her on their first date. She'd been thinking about it for a couple of weeks, but hadn't thought through the logistics. They wouldn't have a chance to go on an actual, non-Planet related date until after the wedding. They'd talked about that several months earlier –their dates weren't to be work related but rather on their own time and their own dime. At least at first. Something they didn't have to write about.
A few minutes later, Clark returned to her side. "Hey, what did I miss?"
"Not much." She looked at him thoughtfully. "A cute guy asked me out."
He smiled back. "I hope you said yes."
"I did."
"Good. You'll have to tell me how it goes."
"I'm sure you'll know all about it."
"I'm sure I will."
*****
May 1989
*****
Lois clutched her bouquet and took a deep breath. Lucy had been right. Eight weeks had flown by and now the big day was upon them. Clark looked handsome, as always, in his tuxedo and now it was her turn to walk down the aisle in front of him and Lucy. Clark was the obvious choice to give her away, especially since Perry, with his ordination from the Church of Blue Suede Deliverance, was the one performing the ceremony.
She started down the aisle. Step. Pause. Step. Pause. Until she reached the front of the little church. She took her spot to her left and turned to watch her sister and Clark walk down the aisle together.
Lucy looked like a fairy tale princess on the way to marry her prince. And Jimmy, on this day, seemed to have come into his own. He looked more handsome and grown up than Lois had ever seen him – standing at the front of the church waiting for his bride. A wide grin split his face as he saw the two of them start down the aisle. Lois, having glanced Jimmy's direction, was unable to take her eyes from him.
In some ways, she suddenly felt she had robbed Clark of everything that he should have had. Sure, weddings were considered dream territory for females, and she knew, deep down, that Jimmy would marry Lucy here, in a judge's chambers at the courthouse or in the middle of a dirt road and the outcome would be the same. But she also knew that he would never forget the first time he saw Lucy walking down the aisle in her white satin gown, veil floating around her head and covering her face. He would never forget the vision of a beautiful woman about to become his wife.
She felt as though she'd stolen that from Clark. He'd always said that he loved only her and if they hadn't married that day, he would have waited until she was ready, but sometimes she wondered if he hadn't come to Metropolis and married her when he did, if he might have found someone else during the rest of his college career or something. He'd insisted not, and most of her believed him, but sometimes she still wondered.
She pushed the thoughts from her mind. This was no time for self recriminations. Somehow, someway, someday she would make up for it, but this wasn't the time to have it in the fore front of her mind.
Perry's voice cut into her thoughts.
"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join James Bartholomew Olsen and Lucy Ellen Lane in matrimony. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace."
He paused for a three count and then continued for a few more minutes before asking,
"Who gives this woman to this man?"
"On behalf of her sister, I do." Clark turned to Lucy and lifted her veil just enough to kiss her on the cheek. He then held her hand out towards Jimmy and took his spot for his second job of the day – that of Jimmy's best man.
She noticed Clark's eyes on her and she focused her attention on Lucy, Jimmy and Perry.
"Jimmy, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I do."
"Then repeat after me."
Jimmy nodded nervously then repeated the traditional vows promising to love, honor and cherish Lucy as long as they lived. And to be faithful to her. Lois noted that specifically.
Then it was Lucy's turn. "Lucy, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do."
"Then repeat after me."
Lucy nodded and did the same promising for better or worse, richer or poorer and in sickness and in health. And she, likewise, promised to be faithful to Jimmy.
Perry nodded at Lois. Lucy handed her bouquet to Lois and took the ring from her.
"Lucy, place this ring on Jimmy's hand as a symbol of your never ending love and devotion. As you do, repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed."
Lucy took Jimmy's hand and slid the ring on his finger. "With this ring, I thee wed," she said softly.
Perry nodded to Clark who handed the ring he held to Jimmy. When he had done so, Perry continued.
"Jimmy, place this ring on Lucy's hand as a symbol of your never ending love and devotion. As you do, repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed."
Jimmy did as he was instructed. "With this ring, I thee wed."
"Then, by the power vested in me by the state of New Troy and the Church of Blue Suede Deliverance, I now pronounce you husband and wife." He turned to the young photographer. "Jimmy, you may kiss your bride."
Amid the cheers and catcalls, Jimmy lifted Lucy's veil and placed one hand on the side of her face. Resting the other hand on her waist, he pulled her towards him and kissed her soundly on the lips.
Perry's wide grin split his face. As the newly married couple pulled back, he announced. "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor and privilege to present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. James and Lucy Olsen."
Lois handed Lucy back her bouquet and then applauded along with the rest of those assembled. Her sister and new brother-in-law headed back down the aisle and Lois moved to take Clark's offered arm.
"Don't they look so happy?" he asked her.
She nodded. They did look very happy. No one could help but see how happy her sister and new brother-in-law were together.
*****
Clark was seated next to her at the reception. Lucy and Jimmy had worked hard to save the money necessary to pull off a great medium sized wedding. Lois and Clark had chipped in matching funds from the inheritance – paying for half so the young couple wouldn't spend every last dime on the wedding. They hadn't told them of the decision to give all of the inheritance money to them yet.
The chicken parmesan was delicious and the loaded mashed potatoes weren't exactly typical wedding fare but were a favorite of the bride and groom and that was all that really mattered.
A little while later, they stepped out on to the dance floor. Jimmy and Lucy had shared their first dance and now Lois and Clark had been invited to dance with the newlyweds. Lois took Jimmy's offered hand and laughed as he twirled and then dipped her.
"Don't let my sister see you doing that!"
Jimmy laughed. "I don't think she'll mind." He rested one hand lightly on his new sister-in-law's waist. "She knows I love only her."
Lois face turned suddenly serious. "I am proud of both of you, Jim. You two have come so far and I'm proud of the young man you have become and the young woman Lucy is."
"Thanks, Lois."
Lois looked at her husband and her sister dancing on the other side of the dance floor.
"He loves you, you know."
"I know."
"We talked some, about the two of you. Perry managed to help him avoid me, but Lucy told me what the two of you talked about."
"I figured she would. We'd talked about it and decided we owed you two the truth. I had no idea Perry was going to run interference."
"You know he would love nothing more than to..."
"I know," Lois interrupted. "I know he would, but Jimmy, I'm just not there yet and I don't know when I will be. Maybe if last year had never happened..." She sighed. "I appreciate your concern for both of us, I really do, but I really don't want to talk about it, okay?"
Jimmy nodded. He was surprised he had gotten that much out before she had cut him off. He cared a lot about his two friends and Clark had been much like a big brother to him since they had met all those years ago. He hoped that Lois realized she was ready soon because it just wasn't fair to Clark. He'd managed to corner him briefly the night before, but the conversation had been short. Clark had confirmed that he loved Lois and that he was confident that when the time was right, it would happen but that he wasn't about to push Lois before then. Jimmy respected that but still couldn't help but be a little sad for his friends.
*****
Lois and Clark sat in the lobby of the Lexor waiting for Jimmy and Lucy. They'd made plans to have lunch in the hotel restaurant before telling them of the plans for the rest of their honeymoon. Clark nodded towards the front desk where Jimmy was holding a suitcase, asking if they could leave it there for the time being. "Here they come."
Lois watched as Jimmy took her sister's hand and they walked to where she and Clark were seated. Greetings were exchanged all around and the foursome headed for the restaurant. They talked about the wedding and looked at pictures Lois and Clark had gotten developed from the disposable cameras over lunch. Finally, Lucy couldn't take it any longer.
"Okay, enough you two. Where are we going?"
Clark grinned. "I'm not telling."
"Come on, CK. You said somewhere warm and private. We appreciate that, but can't you give us a few more details?"
"Nope. Not now." He lowered his voice. "Not here."
Lucy and Jimmy both gave him an odd look, but dropped the subject.
Lois fingered an envelope. "There's something else we wanted to do for the two of you. It's not a wedding present, per se, but this seemed like as good a time as any." She handed it to her sister.
Lucy glanced at Jimmy but stuck her finger under the flap and tore it open. She pulled the piece of paper out. Her eyes grew wide as she read it. "Do you mean it?" she finally said.
"What?" Jimmy asked.
Lucy handed him the piece of paper. "You're giving us full access to the inheritance money?"
Lois nodded. "We don't need it. Technically, you're supposed to get half of what's left when you graduate or turn 25. We can't actually give you full access until then – all disbursements have to go through me until then because that's how Mom and Dad set it up, but unless you want to try to sell ice over email or something, I'll approve pretty much anything."
"To all of it?"
"Yes."
"Wow. Thanks guys," Jimmy said.
"We do want you two to finish college though," Clark said seriously. "But we don't want you to have to struggle like we did."
"We plan on it, CK, but this will make it easier."
"That's the point," Lois told him.
"Thank you." Lucy reached over and hugged her sister. "*Now* will you tell us where we're going?"
Lois laughed. "No. Not yet. We're going back to the apartment and you'll leave from there to catch your... flight."
Their eyes grew wide. "Really?" Jimmy finally said. "Flight?"
Clark nodded, with a twinkle in his eye. "Flight." The waitress brought their check and Clark charged it to the honeymoon suite, then he and Jimmy went to make sure they were checked out properly.
"Lois, thank you," Lucy whispered. "The last year's been hard enough financially, trying to save for the wedding and everything else. I don't know how you two did it for so long."
Lois smiled at her and tucked a strand of hair behind her sister's ear. "We did what we had to do. We love you and wanted to make sure you made it through high school at least without worrying about those kinds of things." She glanced over her sister's shoulder. "They're done. Let's go."
They stood and Lois picked up her purse.
"And you won't tell me where we're going?" Lucy tried one more time.
"Nope." She gave Lucy a hug in the middle of the restaurant. "I will tell you that Clark and I are going on a real date tonight though," she whispered.
"Oh, Lois." Lucy tightened her hold. "I hope it goes *well* for you."
Lois laughed. "It's not going to go *that* well, if that's what you're saying, but I think it's going to go well."
"I'm sure it will."
They turned and walked to where their husbands were waiting for them.
*****
Clark returned from taking the suitcase to the island where Lucy and Jimmy would spend the next few days. "You two ready?" he asked as he walked in off of the balcony.
"*Now* will you tell us where we're going?" Jimmy demanded.
Clark laughed. "Yes. We were inspired by something you said, Lucy. I found a little deserted island off the coast of North Africa. It's far enough away from anyone and any shipping lanes and stuff that no one should notice you're there, but if you need anything – just yell really loud and I should be able to hear you from Paris."
"But you're in Metropolis," Lucy pointed out.
"We leave for Paris *really* early tomorrow morning," Lois reminded her.
"On an airplane," Clark grumbled.
"You're really taking us to our own island?" Jimmy asked incredulously.
"Yep. We flew out there this morning with sheets and food and that kind of stuff that we didn't want to leave there too long."
"You guys thought of everything," Lucy gushed.
"I hope so. It even has running water – sort of. Now, go on. Get out of here." Lois smiled at them.
Lucy and Jimmy headed for the balcony as Clark turned back to Lois. "I hear you have a date tonight," he said with a smile.
She nodded. "He's supposed to pick me up at seven at Perry and Alice's."
"Well, I won't see you before then, so I hope you have a good time."
She smiled softly at him. "I plan on it."
*****
Lois was glad Alice had dragged Perry to bingo night or something and they weren't home. She wasn't sure how she would explain her nervousness while she waited for her husband to pick her up for their first date.
She checked the mirror in the living room.
Hair. Check. It looked good.
Make-up. Check. It looked good too.
Dress. Check. She smoothed the skirt of the black cocktail dress. It looked good on her.
Purse. Check.
Knock. Check.
What? Another knock on the door brought her back to the present.
She took a deep breath and gave herself another once over before moving to open the door.
*****
TBC
~~~~~
This seems like a good place to 'advertise'. LtL: Lucy's Story is well underway and I hope to post it not long after this is done - so in a couple weeks. That said, what would you guys like to see in her story? There's:
1. Things seen in LtL but from her perspective [the night Clark comes to see Lois after their parents die, Jimmy's proposal, Aunt Louise's death, etc.]
2. Things mentioned in passing or only shown briefly [the fight with Lois over money, her first date with Jimmy, the 'sex conversation' with Clark, etc.]
3. Things not mentioned at all [like the guy who asked her to the junior prom while L/C were going to the senior prom and Jimmy later 'rescued' her from - wanna know more? You'll have to read - and you *will* recognize him
]
So - if you have any suggestions, things you'd like to see, please let me know. Does that mean I'll write all of them? Dunno, but I would like to see what you guys think. I sent the same request to my BRs in an email earlier today
. You can PM or email me through my profile or just stick it in the FDK thread if you're so inclined.
Edit: Those are three broad categories that I think everything falls into. I've included and am continuing to include things from all three.
