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Part 2 / 4

Clark eyed the exhaustedly sleeping Lois in her rumpled state on her bed.



She hadn't awoken when he flew into her apartment and laid her on her bed. As he had gently drawn the sheets over her body, she had once again whispered his name, full of anguish. Again, it hurt Clark immensely to see her suffering, but to assist someone in her nightmares was more than even Superman could do.

So he just sat by her side and watched over her while she was sleeping. She looked haggard. Grey and old. Still beautiful, but the experiences of the last few hours had left their mark on her.
"She really seems to love me. How I wished for that!" Clark hardly could believe it. Just a few short weeks ago she had rejected his love and agreed to marry Lex Luthor. He had then fled to the arctic waters and screamed in agony.



Exactly as Lois had stood on the cold street today and screamed his name. Should she really love him as much as he loved her, it wouldn't matter why she had never told him and why he hadn't found the courage to tell her about his feelings. The only thing that mattered was to tell Lois the truth about his two identities and resurrect Clark Kent. His resurrection shouldn't be too hard if he had Lois at his side to help him. But to tell her the truth was going to be hard. Her vivid wit he had been admiring for so long would make it difficult for him to explain his actions. She would be furious when she realized that she himself had made the confession to him when he had pretended to be someone else. She would call him a liar and perhaps even retract her declaration of love, explain it away with her shocked state of mind after the shooting. Clark sighed.

Gently smiling, he eyed the petite fury whose entire being he admired so much. Her uncompromising and sharp mind had taken her far in this life, but exactly that mind would make the upcoming debate hard to take. Well, he would weather that storm. The most important thing was to stop Lois from suffering, that she wouldn't have to bear the loss of her best friend any more. To achieve this aim, Clark wouldn't mind her being angry with him.

Lois ragged breathing calmed, her face relaxed, and she seemed to have slipped into a deep dreamless sleep. Clark decided to go into the living-room and call his parents. He had to assure them that he was all right since they might already have been told by the police of the death of their only son. And besides, his mom would be able to give him some sound advice regarding this "women-stuff".

Silently, he levitated himself out of the bedroom and after a last loving glance at the sleeping Lois, he closed the door.

********************************************************************************

Even before Clark could pick up the phone, it rang. He quickly picked it up to avoid Lois being wakened. "Lois Lane's apartment?"

"Kent? Is that you???" Perry White almost squealed.



"No, Mr. White. This is Superman."

"Oh..."

Silence. Clark held his breath. Would Perry recognize the similarities between Clark Kent's and Superman's voice? But the director only needed a moment to collect himself.

"The police have informed me of what happened. Where is Lois?"

"Don't worry, Mr. White, I found her. She was pretty finished after Clark was shot. She's sleeping now."

"Have you found out anything further?"

"No, sorry. I had to choose between helping Lois or chasing the gangsters."

"Okay. Thanks Superman. This is so horrible..."

Without another word Perry White ended the call and Clark sighed. He had been so concerned about Lois, he had totally forgotten how other people who were close to him would react to the news of his death. His resurrection needed to have top priority. But first he should really call his parents.

"Mom?"

"Clark! Oh God, son, what happened? Perry White just called!"

"Oh Mom, everything's so confusing..."

Clark told his mother the whole story from the beginning. He even mentioned the password, "swordfish". He heard her hold her breath as he described the shooting and his voice shook as he told his mother how Lois had screamed her declaration of love into the sky.

Martha didn't say much. Clark had seldom seen her so reticent. He was used to his mom knowing an answer to all questions and a solution to any problem. Now she was silent for a moment. Then she began to speak haltingly. "Clark... well... the only solution is to tell Lois the truth, as soon as possible... You know already you can trust her... and if she really loves you, she won't be angry for too long. Especially not if she realizes the severity of your situation. She will understand when she realizes she has to help you with resurrecting Clark Kent without anyone finding out you are Superman. It would be best, if you tell her as soon as she wakes up, so that she doesn't have to suffer any more. And so that you can get to work right away."

Clark knew his mother to be absolutely right. But... "Mom, I know all that. I just don't know *how* I should tell her. You can't even begin to guess how often I stood in front of the mirror, took off my glasses and told it "Lois, I'm Superman!" - it was so - unreal. It felt *wrong*. My subconscious tells me that there has to be a perfect moment to tell her. The same as for proposing."

"Well, why don't you combine one with the other?"
"Mom, please, don't jest, I'm serious!"

"I do understand, son. But you just can't waste time waiting for the perfect moment that might never come. You don't know what will happen, maybe it will become essential for Lois to know your secret. You know, you should never part on a fight, never let important things go unsaid, it could be the last time you see each other."

"Yes, I know. But should I really just tell her unromantically what's the matter?"

"Well, Clark, you are both alone, you've got time, no-one's calling Superman, no-one's waiting for Clark and no-one is going to disturb Lois. What are you waiting for?"

"Okay, I suppose you are right. I probably will only make it worse if I wait. Maybe Lois will even start to blame herself for Clark's death. After all, it was her who wanted to had to go to that club. I know Lois, once she starts to think straight again, she will have these thoughts."

"My son, I know you'll do the right thing. You are the most considerate and conscientious guy I know, so don't brood about what you could do wrong - think about what you can do to make Lois feel better. And then think about your resurrection. I'll talk to your father about exactly that and you can call again later. Or you both fly down to Smallville!"

"All right, mom. Thanks. Give my love to dad - talk to you later!"

Quietly he replaced the phone and sighed. His mom was right again. There could be no better time than the present. He mustn't wait any longer if he didn't want the situation to escalate. If Lois hadn't fought with tooth and nail earlier he would have told her the truth then and there. It simply hurt too much to watch her suffer over his presumed death. Had she really said she loved him??? It already felt surreal. But since this was the night of revelations, he would make sure she knew how long he had loved her, that he never loved another woman the way he loved her and that he never would love any woman again as hard as he loved her. But first things first.

Clark got out of his Superman-suit and decided that his underwear, a loose fitting T-Shirt and shorts, would have to do for now. He neglected wearing his glasses since he obviously didn't need them as disguise any more. He tousled his slicked back hair and silently opened the bedroom door to listen to Lois' breathing. She still seemed to be in a deep dreamless sleep and he decided to stay with her and not let her out of his sight until she awakened.



Quietly, he lay down beside her, pulled the covers up to his chin and simply looked at her. His beloved Lois. Soon she would know the truth. She was worth it. She was the only person besides his parents he had always trusted. She alone could make good use of his secret for the better. Her intelligence, her flair and her ready wit would help include Superman even more effectively into the work of the team Lane & Kent. She, Lois Lane, was the right person to be the partner of Superman. These prosaic thoughts made Clark smile at himself. He knew himself to be right, but he also knew that this relationship could be described better by love and deep trust. Both were there, but expandable. A lot expandable. Clark still smiled at his joyous thoughts, his future with Lois which would begin soon - he was sure of that. And he enjoyed lying beside Lois. "Everything's going to be fine..." he thought as he sank into sleep, a smile on his lips.

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Lois knew she was waking up slowly. She hadn't dreamt, but knew at once that she didn't feel well. Something dark was lurking in her consciousness and had bothered her in her sleep. Suddenly the dire thoughts were there again and there it was again: the devastating knowledge that Clark was dead. Lois didn't make a move and pressed her eyes closed. Just don't wake up. Sleep deep and dreamlessly. Don't wake up and have to face the horrible truth. Lois tried not to think to keep from crying, she held her breath and concentrated on the blissful darkness into which she desperately wanted to return when she heard breathing. Slow, even breathing, somewhere close by. Carefully she opened her eyes to see Clark sleeping beside her. Lois instantly screwed her eyes shut. `This has to be a hallucination, I'm in delirium!' But the breathing was too persistent to be a dream.

Carefully, Lois opened her eyes again and forced herself to look more closely. There really was a man lying beside her, sleeping, but it clearly was Superman.

He had pulled the sheets up to his chin and was probably hiding his well-known suit underneath. Superman? Right, he had found her when she was running through the streets, crying, after Clark had been shot dead. A sob threatened to lace up Lois throat, but she gulped it down. Better not to wake Superman, even he seemed to need sleep now and then, and besides, he also had been a good friend of Clark. He was probably as devastated as she was.

Curious of Superman to condescend to lie down beside her. Half a year ago she would have been elated to find him beside her, but now she was pitying him and feeling a very deep solidarity towards him which had little to do with the love she held for Clark.

Clark. My god, one could really take Superman for Clark. Sleeping he looked almost entirely human.

Almost too human.

So very familiar.

Like Clark.

Lois was confused. Now that her eyes had adapted to the dim light shining in from the street-lamp outside - it seemed to be nighttime - she could see more. Had she ever watched Clark sleeping? Had she ever really *looked* at Clark? Or Superman? Well, the man lying beside her was beautiful. Handsome was a very subjective category, but the face beside hers was by any standard beautiful. Especially his lips. She had already kissed those lips. At the airport where Superman had gotten so much of that pheromone spray she couldn't resist taking advantage of him. She remembered this kiss very well, it had touched her deeply.



Just like Clark's kiss had as he had decided to leave the city. When it was so hot Superman was considering leaving the city.



Superman's kiss.



Clark's kiss.



Superman's lips.



Clark's lips.



She had been able to touch them a little while ago. Long and tenderly, because she hadn't been able to do so before, as the gangsters dragged her off Clark's body and hauled it through the door.



It was the same lips.

The same mouth.

The same face.

Superman's face.

Clark's face.

Clark without his glasses looked exactly like Superman. Why had she never seen this likeliness? Had the two men such a different mimic and way of talking that the similarities between them only became visible while sleeping? Were the two men she alternately loved and admired one and the same person?

This realization hit Lois hot and cold at the same time. Hot, because it meant that Clark couldn't be dead. He was lying beside her, had always protected her as Superman and must have been planning to tell her when she awoke - she would probably be the only person ever to be told of his double-life. Cold, because she realized that Clark as Superman must have heard her confessing her love. She thought back to the time she had rejected Clark's love and then, when Superman stood before her shortly after that, she told him she would love him if he were only an ordinary man. Oh, god! What must he have thought about her! How embarrassing! And how many things made sense all of a sudden! No wonder Superman wasn't there to protect Metropolis from the Nightfall-Asteroid if Clark had lost his memory. No wonder Clark had wanted to leave Metropolis with Superman at the time of the great heat. He couldn't have been shot, he must have faked his death to keep his identity hidden. Suddenly so many things made sense, there had been so many times Clark ran off and Superman appeared. How often had he saved her life, even as Clark. There must really have someone tried to shoot her the day she almost was strangled by Finn.



"Oh Clark, how often did I wrong you, how often did I hurt you. But you also hurt me. Always deceived me into believing you are two different persons..."

Actually, she should be angry with him. He had lied to her for more than a year, again and again. But Lois couldn't be angry with him, she loved him just too much, was too glad he was still alive. He had cared for her right away this night and was laying beside her to tell her his secret when she awoke. Why else should he be lying beside her? He could have dropped her off and gone on to do his Superman-job. But no, he had stayed. He had stayed with her to comfort her, to talk to her, to tell her his secret, to make her his partner. A partner strictly for business probably since he had told her only a few weeks ago after the almost-wedding with Lex Luthor that he didn't love her. Oh no. But that was something to think about later, now she was just glad that Clark was alive and that she didn't have to mourn him any longer. She loved him and nothing could change that, no matter what he felt for her.

"Clark, I love you!" she whispered as softly as possible without noticing the single tear escaping her eye.


To be continued...