This story was written for James who wanted a humorous story that contained:

Three things I want in my fic:
1. Ellen Lane
2. Jonathan Kent
3. Christmas celebrated in an unusual geographical location.

Thank you Coolgirl for br-ing this and all your suggestions as well as inspiring the "igloo" idea. wink Also thanks to Lara and Lab Rat (and Elisabeth, too) for their patience and input over the very end. I hope you folcs enjoy this; I had fun writing it even if the VERY end is a little let's just say "n." Enjoy and especially James.

Mona

Follow the Arctic Home

Lois had awoken with a feeling of devilishness and delicious promise that today, her and Clark’s first day of vacation would be a leisurely one filled solely with the two of them. By the grace of luck, magic, or as Perry might say, Elvis, himself, both she and Clark had been granted the next eleven days off from work. This unusual feat in itself would have warranted a celebration. The fact that this time would include their first celebrations of both Christmas and the New Year as a married couple, made the day even more magical-even to Lois, the scrooge of sorts of Christmas spirit past. Lois, for one, was not about to waste one second of it! Still rubbing traces of sleep from her eyes, she instinctively reached for Clark, so that her husband might “help” her wake up in a way that only a super husband could. Lois’ eyes flew open with frustration as her hand met with the very cold and empty expanse of mattress beside her. The world must have called on its resident superhero once again.

“So much for my own free personal heating service,” Lois muttered as she flipped on the switch to the Kent’s central heating. Patience was not one of Lois’ finer qualities but she attempted to make the most of it and simply use the time to wrap some last minute gifts as well as give her body the gift of a slower and relaxing morning.

Lois spent the morning quietly finishing up on her holiday tasks. Her mind however was racing with a fervent desire to think of some *special* gift to Clark - something that they could hold close to their hearts even years later and know that it had enhanced the eternal bond between them.
****

Three hours later, as the clock struck noon, the only sign of Clark had been a brief news segment that had showed Superman rescuing some sailors from a boat followed by his putting out a huge warehouse fire and lastly aiding police with a hostage situation, which thanks to the Man of Steel had been resolved in a peaceful manner-an hour ago!

“What does the world want from my Clark now?” Lois quietly raged before the phone rang, rattling her for a second.

“Hello?” Lois answered, trying to muster a polite tone, in case it was Clark.

“Lois, what took you so long to answer?” Ellen Lane demanded. “Don’t you know it isn’t every Saturday that affords me the luxury of a call to my daughter?”

“Any day you mean,” Lois grunted in response and then added, “you’ve never made talking to me a priority over the years.”

“And a Good Morning to you too, daughter, dear!” Ellen replied in a huff.

Lois starred out the open window and silently prayed a streak of red and blue would soon save her from this moment.

“Lois? Lois? Don’t tell me you are wallowing away another day waiting for that husband of yours to return? I swear your infatuation with Superman is still at an unhealthy level! For all you know he’s probably seducing some Princess in an igloo he built just for such a purpose! Didn’t you tell me more than once that the frigid Arctic is a place Superman likes to visit? If that doesn’t prove your poor choice…” Ellen trailed off as even she finally sensed the anger building through the phone wires.

Lois took a deep breath and even slowly counted to ten, as she valiantly tried to keep her promise to herself that she would not allow her so -called mother to succeed in making her angry. Nothing was going to sour this day, for Lois, even if it killed her and knowing all too well the stupid callousness that often was her mother, Lois knew it was up to her to end this call quickly yet quietly.

“I’m sorry, Mother. I was watching out the window for the mailman as I am expecting a package. You know how crazy the post office gets at this time of year and I am not about to have to go there because I missed a delivery.” Lois cunningly replied, congratulating herself with a spoonful of double chocolate fudge ice cream. ‘Brilliant and Award Winning Lois Lane, no scratch that Kent, scores again! And I didn’t even lie this time, either. I am awaiting a delivery just not one from any post office! Although for all I know Clark was needed at one.’ Lois babbled in mind, effectively tuning her mother out.

“So the mail you * might * get takes precedence over your own mother? That’ll teach me to want to share the good news that I’ll be spending Christmas with Pierre with you. Go back to your postman or, more truthfully, yes dear, some of us speak honestly, Superman watch, and I’ll call you after the New Year.”

“Don’t waste your time or money on the call. You just have fun with Pierre,” Lois spit out in reply as she hung up the phone and wondered how soon the phone company could give her an unlisted phone number. Lois, transforming into Mad Dog Lane, grabbed the phone book and began to dial toll free number to Metropolis Bell. Perhaps, being the local celebrity that she was did have its perks for it wasn’t more than 15 minutes later that her mission was accomplished: as of Monday, she and Clark would have a new and unlisted number-so that they could have power over who to give it to.

Lois forced herself to reheat some leftover Chinese food and then turn LNN back on; if the curtains would not provide a sign of her husband, perhaps LNN would. Sure enough, the words, “and Superman has just saved a full plane load of people from certain death in Chicago,” greeted Lois immediately. “Come on, Clark, come save me!” Lois proclaimed, losing her patience. She loved her superhero husband with her life, yet it was days like this, were she wished the world would allow them both to enjoy their lives together a little more! And damn her mother for insinuating that she loved Superman and not the man he truly was in Clark! Lois could not help herself but get worked up over that. She absolutely loathed the day she and Clark decided to let Ellen and Sam in on their secret. “Maybe Clark can figure out how to add memory erasing to his Super resume when he gets home. No much after he gets home. First things first after all ‘I” have been waiting all day!” Lois prattled aloud.

“Someone’s been waiting for ‘me’ all day?” a familiar voice teased as Lois felt a pair of strong arms embracing her.

“Clark! Finally, I was beginning…” Lois was silenced by a sweet kiss-a kiss that she had hungered all day for.

“Want to show me a little more just how much you missed me?” Clark playfully begged, starting to lead his wife into their bedroom.

“Always,” was the last word uttered from Lois’ lips for quite some time as she and her husband engaged in a leisurely dance of lovemaking.

Later that evening, Lois couldn’t help but recount to Clark her earlier conversation with Ellen Lane. ‘Mother” was never an adjective Lois had thought appropriate for the older woman, and Ellen’s choice remarks had only further proved that point, so her “daughter’ was not about to dignify her with that title now. “Clark, even you would have lost your temper had you been here when she called! ‘She’ still dares to question my love for you and not only that but do so in the most obnoxious and ridiculing way! Do you know she had the nerve to say that ‘you’ as Superman that is, rather than being away on a rescue was having sex with some princess in an igloo that he built for their time together! An igloo, Clark! She dares to insinuate that rather than use your gifts for the greater you instead use them for extra martial igloo seductions! She has absolutely no respect for either of us let alone our marriage,” Lois concluded.

“Honey, don’t let her get to you. All that matters is that we know our love for one another is genuine and eternal. You know the only princess, arctic snow or otherwise in my life is you! Clark quipped, attempting to lighten the moment as he gave his wife a huge hug.

“Oh you,” Lois began with mock sternness before rewarding Clark with a kiss, “I love you and hey maybe on your next trip to the Arctic you wouldn’t mind bringing both my parents and leaving them their an igloo doghouse! Maybe being surrounded by ice might be the cure for thawing out their hearts. I still can’t believe my mother, no that woman, who claims to be my mother said that about you.”

Suddenly the atmosphere in the Kent house grew heavy and all at once Lois, realized her husband, who had just a minute ago been teasing her, was no overtaken by sadness. “Oh God Clark, I’m sorry,” Lois whispered, remembering that it hadn’t even been a week since Clark last sought out his Arctic refuge after not being able to prevent a few fatalities from a train wreck. The universe’s Man of Steel had a heart that was made of anything but and anytime he visited the Arctic, Lois and at times Martha and Jonathan, too, knew, it was hardly too seek out pleasure. At this moment, however, Lois simply held Clark dear, thanking the stars above for allowing her, her, the privilege of being the one to comfort him. Subconsciously, an idea was also beginning to form in Lois’ ever turning mind-one that just might fulfill her greatest Christmas wish from her to Clark.


“Clark, can you get this suitcase to zip?” Lois asked, Monday afternoon.

“Have you got your entire wardrobe in there? Clark teased, as he was barely able to comply with his wife’s request. “We are only spending tonight, that’s one night, in
Smallville.”

“I * know * how to count, Mister! But if you don’t stop talking to me that way, well let’s just say, you might not be able to count on me being in your Smallville bedroom tonight! Now carry this carefully downstairs for me, I wouldn’t want your parent’s gifts to break,” Lois stifled a laugh as she replied.

Clark saluted his wife and grabbed the suitcase, which he swore could very well fell a normal man, and began descending the stairs. He had just dropped the case in front of the large living room window that would later serve as his and Lois’ skyway to Kansas, when he suddenly heard his father’s voice asking him to come to the farm.

Jonathan did not sound hurt or in any danger, just curious as to why his son’s phone number was suddenly not in service. Clark was momentarily stunned. Neither of his parents had ever requested his presence by taking advantage of his super hearing. Seconds later, his brain cleared up and he realized the answer: Lois. Though to be fair, he hadn’t exactly called his parents either after the telephone company had called with his new and unlisted phone number about an hour ago. Like Lois, he must have figured the news could wait until their visit. Apparently that was not the case and Clark knew his folks were wondering what was going on. He called upstairs to Lois that he was flying her suitcase over to the farm and would be right back and took off

Clark, just as expected, found his father waiting for him, while reading his paper in his favorite overstuffed chair. “Hi Dad, Mom, trying to get you to save on the phone bill?” Clark teased, giving the older man a hug.

Jonathan, looking a little embarrassed, replied, “Hi Clark, I hope I didn’t startle you too much, asking that you come the way I did? It’s just that your mom tried calling you a couple times today and each time was told via a recorded message your number was no longer in service. I tried to tell her….” Jonathan trailed off as he noticed Martha entering the room.

“Tried to tell me what? That even though we both know the very super side our son has that makes him invulnerable, as his * mother * I still shouldn’t worry when his phone has without warning been disconnected? Martha finished sternly.

Jonathan responded by casting his son a “please bail me out look.”

Clark complied by embracing his mother and reassuring her that both he and Lois were perfectly fine. “When Dad, uh called, I had just finished bringing this suitcase downstairs,” Clark made his parents laugh by pretending to stagger under the weight.

“And that kept you too busy to inform me of your new phone number?” Martha questioned, trying desperately to keep a firm demeanor.

“The truth, Mom, Dad, is that even * I * did not learn our new phone number until an hour ago when Metropolis Bell called and gave it to Lois. I guess we both must have figured we’d give it to you both when we saw you tonight. Sorry about that,” Clark finished a little sheepishly.

“Can you grace us with the digits now?” Martha laughed, enveloping the men in her life in a huge hug.

“It’d be my pleasure, Madam,” Clark bowed as he jotted down the new number. “I do apologize for worrying you both like that. Ellen Lane, according to Lois, really lit into her on Friday and Lois took that as a sign to once and for all write her mother a little more out of her life by getting us an unlisted number. Lois even asked me to abandon her parents in doghouse-Arctic style!” Clark exclaimed with a sad smile.

“They still think you go there for fun, Clark?” Martha asked quietly.

“Ellen, at least, seems to think I go there to have an affair with some Arctic Princess in the igloo that I built for the two of us there! Lois is right that maybe even her mother might be shocked if she ever learned the truth. I go there to heal.” To himself Clark added, ‘I go to try and heal my soul enough so that I can fully be with and enjoy life with my Princess. Princes Lois, that is.’

Jonathan patted his son on the shoulder as Martha said, “Lois told me about that when we talked Friday afternoon before you got back from saving those people from that madman. She just * forgot * to inform me of her call to the phone company. Under the circumstances, though, can’t say as I blame her. Children, no matter, their age, tend to need, even if they are too bullheaded to admit it, their family a little more during this holiday time of year,” Martha stated with her mother’s intuition.

Both Kent men nearly replied simultaneously that sadly neither Sam nor Ellen had been much in the way of parents to their eldest daughter.

“Only makes me feel even more grateful, not that that’s even possible, to have both of you in my life,” Clark responded with a trace of a tear in his eye.

“And us, you. And us you, Clark,” both Kents replied hugging their son closely.

“Now go get that wife of yours and remind her that she has a family now, a family that loves her very much even if she doesn’t think it important to let us know her new phone number!” Martha demanded with a grin.

“See you in a little while, Clark,” Jonathan added, watching his son walk out the door and soar into the sky.


Back in their home in Metropolis, Lois wondered what was taking Clark so long and why he had suddenly had the urge to fly over her suitcase then and there. Had his super ears heard that his parents needed him? Were her in-laws, who she thought of as parents, okay? Lois was on the verge of yelling for Superman when her eyes fell upon the piece of paper that she had written down her and Clark’s new phone number. Martha and Jonathan must have tried to call and of course did not get through. Lois hoped that was the only message Clark had intercepted from across the phone lines. Nothing she could do about that now except to keep reminding herself to apologize to the elder Kents later.

Getting back to her current business of packing, a second, secret bag that if all went well would be used en route to Smallville. The heavy case Clark had left with merely contained clothing and Christmas gifts. * This * bag housed something more-something she had prayed would provide that super husband d of hers some real consolation not only during his Arctic excursions but in everyday life as well. Downstairs, she could hear Clark locking the window and starting up the stairs. She was ready.


“Are our parents okay?” Lois could not stop herself from blurting out the second her husband entered their room.

“They are fine, looking very forward to spending tonight with us. Both Mom and Dad made me promise to be sure to remind you of how happy they are that you will be joining us this year and all the years to follow. They-and I-love you so much, Lois. We are all so thankful to have you in our lives,” Clark passionately replied, kissing his wife.

Lois returned his kiss before timidly asking, “So they aren’t too mad at me for forgetting to give them our new number? That is why you went there, right? I can’t remember either of your parent’s ever calling you…the uh…super way before,” Lois finished with a light laugh.

Clark nodded and then said, “All has been forgiven. Unless of course, we are late!” Clark proclaimed gazing at yet another bag, his wife must intend to bring with them.

“It’s not even 1:00! We weren’t planning on leaving until 3 or 4. And don’t you get started on my suitcases. I meant what I said about tonight!” Lois reprimanded quickly.

“Hungry, dear?” Clark asked, changing the subject.

“For lunch and or” Lois trailed off before she gave away her secret.

“Me, perhaps, is that what you were going to say?” Clark questioned hopefully.

Lois blushed and answered, “Well yes, but let’s have some lunch and then-well then-there’s something I want to tell-to give you.” Without waiting for Clark to reply, Lois scurried out of their room and into the kitchen.

Clark’s immediate thought was to super speed after his wife and demand answers but he thought better of it and picked up his own light duffel as well as Lois’ second heavy bag, and slowly headed downstairs.

Lois was jittery all through lunch and didn’t offer much in the way of conversation. Her plan was an unusual one and a bit risky, not too mention risqué, but it just had to be the answer to her perfect gift for Clark prayers.

“Earth to Lois or maybe Krypton to Lois, as you look so very far away?” Clark asked for the third or fourth time, “Honey, are you okay? Please say something.”

Mustering up some courage and a smile, Lois nodded and began her gift’s deliverance. “Clark, after we clean up and lock up the house, do you think we’ll have time to take a brief detour before heading to your parent’s house? And, no, I don’t mean to bed, well not quite anyway,” Lois added on mysteriously.

Clark, moved his chair over to Lois’ side and took her hand his own before responding, “Please tell me what’s going on Lois, I know something is not quite right here. Trouble and panic is written all over your beautiful face.”

“Uncertainty yet determination more like it,” Lois muttered in reply.

“Lo-is!” Clark all but hissed.

“All right, Clark, here’s the thing, I want you to fly us to the Arctic. You said there’s at least one tiny island up there were we could land,” Lois began.

“Why in the world? Lois you would freeze, literally freeze, within a few minutes probably of being there,” Clark retorted.

“Not with you, or what I have in mind, I wouldn’t. Please, Clark, just fly us there,” Lois begged quietly, so quietly that it forced Clark to know his wife was dead serious.

“Give me about fifteen minutes,” Clark finally answered as he once more took off out their living room window.

“Thank you,” left Lois’ lips as he soared higher into the sky, heading north.

Less than ten minutes later, Clark returned to the sight of Lois, dressed for lack of a better or perhaps nicer term, like an Eskimo. She was bundled from head to toe and then someone.

“Don’t laugh, Clark, just pick me up and fly. I won’t even make you carry this bag,” Lois finished gesturing to the now empty second duffel near her feet.

With laughter threatening to erupt from him at any second, Clark, forced himself to do as Lois asked instead and within moments they were high above his place of Arctic salvation. “I see a structure, Clark, you never told me…” Lois stopped noticing the crafty smile playing on Clark’s lips.

“I couldn’t very well expect a present while you completely froze!” Clark stated as he ushered his wife into his newly created modern wilderness shack. “You are not made to live in the tundra, unlike those penguins over there, after all.”


“You really are Superman!” Lois exclaimed barely noticing the penguins frolicking in the distant ocean as she took in the disbelieving sight of a small but roaring fire.

“That’s what you’ve always called me, in this get- up” Clark playfully answered.

“You really built this place in the last few minutes, didn’t you?” Lois asked in amazed gratitude. Her surprise could now be enjoyable and survivable for them both.

“Let’s just say I refurbished and added to some long since stranded pieces of wood nearby to create the igloo of your dreams,” Clark modestly replied and then added, “The fire probably won’t last that long though, Lois, and even though I could keep fueling it with my heat vision or even more logs forever, I’m not sure how safe all this is and my parents will soon be waiting for us.”

“Then what are you waiting for, Clark? Your gift of all gifts is just waiting to be opened and enjoyed,” Lois questioned in a low and sexy voice.

“LOIS!” Clark all but shouted in shock, “Why are you? When did you?”

Lois was suddenly standing before him, clad only in a robe along with a Santa hat, that was adorned with a small ‘S” shield sticker in its center. “While you were lost in your chimney reverie and because I love you. Because I want to give you…”

“Give me what?” Clark gently asked, as he hugged his wife solid, to be positive she was warm.

“A happy, life affirming memory in the Arctic, in the best and most meaningful way I could think of. Take me, Clark. Make love to me. Right here, right now, let’s fill each other with love as you hopefully fill me with a new life. In doing, let us create a new life. I know you come here when your heart is so broken that even you wonder how it will possibly heal. My hope is that after today when you seek out this place of refuge-which has seen so much of your despair over the years- you will remember this moment and so doing gain healing in a way you never thought possible before.

With tears of sorrow, joy, and Christmas magic overflowing from his eyes and heart, Clark kissed Lois with everything he was and hoped he could be. “I love you more than…”

“Either of us ever thought possible,” Lois finished for him, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist.

Clark scooped Lois up and floated them a few feet away from the small sparks of fire. He then stopped and positioned himself horizontally and slowly began to lower Lois to him. At first contact, Clark’s heart blazed with love and in the deepest recesses of his soul be knew, that this Arctic Tundra, would forever, be not just a place of solace to him but one of lifeblood as well. A place he could visit to allow him the peace to go home.

The End.