Sorry this had taken me so long to get up.

PART FIVE

Lois swung her leg over the ledge, and landed on Clark’s balcony. The climb up the building had not been easy; she had needed to use all her creativity and several muscles she was previously unaware of in order to find her way up. The trip to his apartment was even more difficult, and required the use of three taxis and a hastily constructed ‘hooded ruffian’ disguise. These precautions were necessary however. Although most of the reporters swarming around Clark’s apartment had gone to cover Superman’s press conference, there was still a small number camped out by his front door, and she was not about to give them the satisfaction of seeing her travel to Clark’s apartment pick the lock on his front door. What excuse would she have? She certainly didn’t want to talk to him. She wasn’t ready for that yet. The reason why she was doing this now was because she knew that he was guaranteed to be away from home. What she needed to do was experience Clark, and try to understand him without his actual presence confusing things. Why did he keep his life such a secret, why didn’t he tell anyone, why create an entirely different person to perform all the things he could do? Lois had pondered this all day at the Planet. For the first time in her life, she hadn’t been able to throw herself into her work and forget her personal troubles. She forced herself to refuse the temptation to fly into a tantrum. Last night she had decided to support Clark, and she would continue to do so. Her personal feelings could wait. Instead, she had spent the whole day in a bit of a daze, trying to piece the Clark Kent puzzle together. Frustrated with herself, she decided to go about her investigation of Clark in the usual way, which always included a little breaking and entering. Before she could really support Clark, she needed to know that he was still the kind gentle man that she knew. That he had a good reason for what he did. She needed to see his place for what it really was. Not only the home of Clark Kent, Daily Planet reporter, but also the home of Superman, noble extraterrestrial.

She walked around the space, examining knick-knacks and personal items, each with a new perspective. She was reminded of the time when she took Clark to his apartment after he had gotten amnesia. He had wondered around in much the same way, lost and confused. All his belongings were strange and bewildering to him. Now, it was Lois who felt this way.

She examined his college football trophies thinking: Superman played football in college. They didn’t even win the state tournament. How frustrating must it have been to never play anywhere near your best, to pass the ball off to people who were clearly far less able? How could he have stood that? She paused. Of course, this was Clark she was thinking of. This was the man who was generous, giving, and a team player to a fault. He “played to play”. Of course Clark wouldn’t feel the need to be the best all the time. He would gladly step out of the spotlight and allow someone else make the winning play.

Putting the football down, she walked over to the mysterious wood carved statue that hung by his closet. Where did he say he got it from? Tibet? Indonesia? New Guinea? She couldn’t remember. He had been so many places and had a story for each one. What was it like, she wondered, to be able to travel the world with almost no planning, no effort, no thought, just action? Clark could zip across the world in seconds, one moment sitting in his apartment in Metropolis, the other, lying on some beach in Thailand. Then, remembering his testimony last night, she though of how isolating it would be to have to constantly be moving. Building friendships, and then leaving them behind forever, always afraid of waiting too long and being discovered. As crazy as it sounded, Superman gave Clark stability. As long as Superman was conspicuously lifting trains and blowing out oil fires somewhere in the city, all suspicion and attention was off Clark. Opening his closet, Lois flicked through his clothing. She found the secret lever Diana had used on her TV show and watched as the back panel slid out to reveal a cache of Superman outfits, complete with cape neatly hung in a row. Clark had said that he never told anyone about his abilities before. Only his parents knew the truth about him before Diana had publicized his secret. Was that because he felt uncomfortable telling people? Was he secretly ashamed of whom he was? Or was it because he thought it was amusing to fool everyone, including those closest to him? Remembering the strain evident on his face last night, Lois disregarded that theory. Clearly, he was very distressed to be exposed in such a manner. No more understanding than when she entered, Lois sat down by the TV and turned it on.

There he was. On every station. Hungrily, Lois peered at the face of her partner. He was, of course, dressed as Superman. Even though Lois knew the truth, she still had to search his face to see the similarities. Was it just the costume that changed Clark to Superman she wondered? Last night when Clark had stopped the shooter, he had not changed into Superman. Instead, he was clearly Clark, even though he was catching bullets and tying up hostages in less than a second. It was more than the suit, she decided. Superman exuded a kind of confidence that would have bordered on cockiness if he wasn’t so capable and polite. His mannerisms were stiffer; he never relaxed, and rarely smiled.

Not bothering to listen to the press conference, Lois thought about the attack last night. It had happened so soon after the Top Copy airing. Although it was only one man with a gun, he could have done some serious damage if Clark had not been there. Still, Clark would feel responsible for it. The man had attacked the Planet because Superman worked there. Thinking it through, Lois shuddered. How much more danger were his parents in; who had knowingly sheltered Superman for almost thirty years? And she herself, Lois realized for the first time. She already got in enough trouble for just knowing Superman, how much more trouble would she be in for being close to Clark? Clark knew all this, she realized. He knew the danger that those close to him would be in if the world found out. That’s why he worked so hard to distance himself as Superman. That’s why he resisted telling people about himself. It was for the protection of those closest to him. The only people who could know a secret of this magnitude, she reasoned, would be a select few, who were willing to put up with the danger that Superman brought.

Clark had wanted her to be one of these select few. He had said as much last night. It wasn’t cruelty, or haughtiness that prevented Clark from telling her the truth, just misguided protectiveness. Lois smiled to herself. That was just like Clark. Now, what Lois wanted to know was when he had planned to tell her this big secret. Just how long was he going to wait until he would enlighten her? Did he really think he could wait for another year or so and she wouldn’t eventually figure it out? She snuggled down on the sofa and turned the volume up on the TV. She would wait here until he got back home from the press conference. Now she was ready to talk.


* * *

It was late when Clark finally returned to his apartment. He was tired. Not so much physically as mentally. The press conference had lasted ages. He said much the same stuff as in the Daily Planet article. He confirmed Diana’s “scoop”, reiterated his reasons for keeping the public in the dark, and made a petition for the press to leave him alone. He even went so far as to cut them a deal. Superman would remain in the public domain. Anything he did while wearing the suit, they could report. He would give them full cooperation. When he was Clark Kent, however, he was to be left alone. He would give no statements, respond to no phone calls, and refuse any pictures. His private life, he asserted, was of no concern and of no importance to the people of Metropolis.

Wanting to lay a good foundation for this, Clark had spent a good hour after his address answering questions from the media. He still shook his head about some of the questions. It was amazing, what they wanted to know. His travels around the world, his high school and college life, his favorite food, what powers he developed first. He answered as candidly as he felt able, but always refused questions when he felt they were too personal. No sooner than he had called an end to the questions, he had heard a cry for help, a fire in the Metropolis library. Then after that, an earthquake in India. Everywhere he went, he was sure to give the media plenty of quotes and opportunity to snap photos. Maybe, he hoped, the press would be placated for the time being and abandon the stakeout surrounding his apartment. He entered his apartment through the balcony, and spun into his regular clothes. Either by great luck, or by the media actually listening, the crowds outside seemed to have dispersed for the time being. Of course, that didn’t mean that more underhand methods hadn’t been attempted. Clearing his mind, Clark began to listen to the sounds in his apartment. Remote recording devices gave off a certain pitch that humans couldn’t hear, but Superman could if he put his mind to it…

There was no recording devices, but what was that…? A human heart beat! Moving as quickly as he could without injuring the intruder, Clark grabbed the mysterious person be her shoulders, and flew them up till their heads were grazing the ceiling. He heard a sleepy yelp, and caught a few solid kicks before he recognized her.

“Lois? Is that you?”

“…Clark? What…what’s going on?” Blearily, she looked around, as if trying to get her bearings. Slowly, Clark lowered them to the ground.

“I’m sorry I startled you Lois,” he stammered, “I thought you were a reporter.” She shot him a look. “Well, you know… someone who wanted to talk to me.” Again, he realized she fell under that category too. “What I meant was…” He took a deep, calming breath. “I didn’t know it was you. And I’m sorry I gave you a start. Is your foot okay? You didn’t hurt yourself trying to kick me did you?”

“N-no. It’s fine.” She gave a small yawn. “What time is it?”

“After midnight.”

“What were you doing out so late? Had to return another videotape?”

“There was an earthquake in India; it wasn’t serious but I was helping clear the rubble, clean up some of the damage, transport the injured, what I usually do.”

“Oh, right.” She nodded, and started slowly pacing around the room, refusing to make eye contact.

“Uh, Lois?” Her head snapped up.

“Yes Clark?”

“Not that I don’t enjoy your company or anything, but…what are you doing here?” She continued pacing for another moment, then stopped suddenly, her eyes piercing his.

“I’m ready to talk.”

“Oh! Uh…Great!” He wasn’t sure where to begin. “Why don’t we sit down?” They sat. Lois took in a deep breath, steadying herself. She crossed her arms, looked him right in the eye, and began.

“You lied to me.”

A million excuses flew through his head. He could prevaricate. He could tell her that he had never really directly told her something false; just lead her to certain conclusions. But he remembered his conversation with Mayson today. As much as it had hurt at the time, she was right. There was no Clark Kent as he had presented him. Lois had been partners, friends, and even more with a fictional person. He had lied to her, in thought, words, and action.

“Yes,” he whispered. The effect was astonishing. Immediately, she relaxed, and looked much more comfortable. She even sat down beside him.

“You told me that you were going to tell me the truth. When were you going to do it, and why were you going to wait until then?” Clark sighed. Leave it to Lois to ask the really difficult question.

“I wanted you to accept me for me, not because I was Superman, not because I had all these powers. I wanted us to be together, and committed to each other before I was going to tell you.”

“Wait a minute, Clark. You wanted me to reject you, and then be in a relationship with the other you which is still really you? Do you know how insane that sounds?” She was starting to get upset; her pulse was climbing, hand gestures becoming more erratic. Leaping off the sofa, she began to pace again. Clark knew he had to rein her back in some way.

“I made a mistake.” She stopped, and glanced back at him.

“What?”

“I went to see Mayson today. She told me that she doesn’t like me anymore. Because I’m Superman.”

“Clark, as much as I want to start trashing Mayson right now and telling you what a horrible person I think she is, what does that have to do with you and me?”

“She was in love with Clark. Or at least she really liked Clark. Clark only, no superpowers, no saving the world, no blue spandex. Just me. That’s what I wanted from you Lois. I wanted you to love the regular guy, not the man in the suit.” Lois blushed, and looked embarrassed.

“Clark, look-”

“But what happened, Lois, is that she loved only that part. She couldn’t love Superman. As much as I want to be an ordinary guy with an ordinary life, I’m not. That was my mistake Lois. I wanted you to reject the weird part of me, but I forgot that that that part of me is a *part* of *me* and making you chose between the two is a false choice. That was my mistake and I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner. I should have realized that there was more to Superman than a tight suit and a bunch of powers.” He hadn’t taken his eyes of Lois for the entire speech. The flames had gone out of her eyes. She had sat back down, and was looking at him with an expression something like forgiveness, but not quite… Then he placed it. It was acceptance.

“How did you plan on telling me?” Her question threw him. Was that really what she wanted to know?

“Well, uh, I was going to take you out for dinner. Someplace nice…”

“Always good to butter up the girl before you nail her with the big confession huh?” There was a hint of playfulness about her demeanor. With a little more confidence, he pushed forward.

“Then we would go back to you place-”

“My place?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, cause that way, when you got mad at me I could just fly out the window to safety. If we were at my place who knows what kind of damage you would do?” She let out a little huff, but her eyes were smiling.

“Then what?”

“Then we would talk some more. I wanted you to be relaxed and happy.”

“Softening me for the blow you mean,” she teased.

“I would start to tell you how much you mean to me. How you’ve made such a difference in my life ever since I met you.” Clark leaned close to her. He looked directly into her eyes, the connection between the two of them was strengthening. “I would tell you that the closer we’ve grown, the more I’ve wanted to tell you something about me. I would say that it’s not fair to keep misleading you about me. You deserve to know the truth.”

“Yes?”

“Lois, I love you so much, and love is based on trust. Because of that, I’m trusting you with my life, hoping that you’ll accept this part of me, and learn to accept it along with the rest of me.” Lois waited, holding her breath. Clark took a deep breath. “Lois, I’m Superma-” He didn’t get a chance to finish his declaration. Lois threw herself across the room, landing her lips on top of his. Clark got a little dizzy.

Finally, she broke it off, wearing a huge dopey grin. Clark gave a breathless laugh.

“Gee, if I knew you’d react that way I would have told you a lot sooner.” Lois gave him a playful slap.

“The only reason I did that, you dope was cause I already knew.” She paused. “But did you mean it Clark? Do you mean it now, not in some hypothetical future where we’ve been dating for months and month?”

“What, did I mean that I was Superman? I don’t know where you’ve been this last day Lois, but-”

“No. Did you mean that you loved me?” She looked nervous, self-conscious.

“Yes. I did.” This time the kiss was even more intense, if such a thing was possible. They broke apart, holding each other close. Clark stared up at the ceiling, lost in his own joy.

“So Clark?”

“Yes?”

“Mayson’s definitely out of the picture then?” Clark smiled up at the ceiling.

“Lois, she was never really in the picture to begin with.” There were a beat of silence.

“Clark?”

“Yes Lois?”

“Me too.”

“What?”

“I love you too.”