Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020
F
Kerth
OP Offline
Kerth
F
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020
Good to see Lois writing again.

Quote
Shutting down the television, she walked over to her window and poked her head outside. “Help, Superman!” she cried.

She brought her head back in and sat on her bed. He was far away, she knew that. And it was only one cry. In all likelihood, this would not work, but she was not yet ready for the full out screaming she knew she would need to do.

“Lois?” Superman was floating outside her window.
You might want to redo that. If he was in Smallville her cry moving at the speed of sound would not reach him for QUITE some time.

Ever seen lightning? Notice how the Thunder can take some time to arrive.

The sonic boom we hear from some planes is when they exceed the speed of sound.

You might make use of it in the story. Lois could call out just as she did and Superman shows up some hours later after she'd given up on it working. (How far is Smallville from LA anyways?)


Quote
“Sorry for calling so early,” John’s voice answered her, “but I thought you’d want to know right away that your story is great and you are now officially a member of the I-team.”

“Oh,” Lois replied, her brain deserting her now.

John laughed in her ear, his voice soft and teasing, “I can see it’s too early for such things, so I’ll let you get back to sleep,” he said, before he hung up the phone.

Lois slowly put her phone down, staring at the ceiling. She hadn’t submitted anything, had she? She would remember that, wouldn’t she?
Quote
Lois stared at the screen blankly for a moment, before desperately clicking on the attachment, almost afraid of what it would contain.

The Truth Behind the Cape by Lois Lane
Great, you're Superman is a fool and an idiot who hasn't learned anything. He lied to Lois and he tries to fix it by lying to her editor.

The included news story reads like the tease for a fuller article. So lets guess, Lois has to do lots of follow up stories
  • Who did Superman hurt?
  • How badly were they hurt?
  • Who was it?
  • Did he do something illegal?
  • Did he do something immoral?
  • Was he out of control?
  • Will he hurt others the same way?
  • Is he a danger to the whole world?
  • What is the Government doing to deal with this new threat Superman poses?
  • Has he covered up other crimes in the past?
  • Did he rape someone?
  • Was the peron he raped underage?
  • Maybe he killed someone?
  • Did the person he killed deserve it?
  • Is it alright for Superman to appointment himself Judge, Jury and Executioner?
  • Since he now admits it was a mistake to kill this person does he mean it was wrong for him to act as executioner?
  • Since he now admits it was a mistake to kill this person does he mean he killed the wrong person?
  • How many times has Superman killed the wrong person?
  • How was Superman able to cover up all the people he has killed?
  • Did one of the Governments help Superman to cover up his killing sprees?


Framework4
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Wow, this is wonderful! So many emotions flying around here. I totally understand Lois and why she is so upset with Clark, but God I feel so sorry for him. He is so guilt ridden.

Clark did an honourable thing by writing that article for Lois and submitting it. Even with their differences, he knew that she would never betray him and tell his secrets. Now Lois needs to come to terms with the fact that she and Clark need to sit and talk and come to some happy medium so that they can be together...and maybe find a way to resurrect Clark.

Professor Hamilton brought back Capone and Bonnie and Clyde...how many years after their death.

Well done and no more RL breaks! laugh

~Sheila


I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 185
Hack from Nowheresville
Offline
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 185
Oh wow,
[Linked Image]
More soon please?

Vonceil


Johnny was a chemist,
Now Johnny is no more,
For what he thought was H two O
Was really H two S O four.
--Lab safety limrick--
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 921
A
Features Writer
Offline
Features Writer
A
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 921
Thanks everyone for all the comments, I really appreciate it.

Framework4:

For a normal man, it would take approximately 2 hours for Lois' cry to travel from San Diego to Kansas (I'm assuming Smallville is somewhere in the center of Kansas). But we know that Clark has hearing far superior to a normal man given than he routinely hears things he shouldn't be able to. I agree, this is a bit fast, but I guess I think that if we can't suspend reality a little, we probably shouldn't write/read stories about a man who flies under his own power.

I hope not everyone agrees that my Superman is an idiot. He is supposed to be inherently human and thus makes mistakes, but not a fool. I guess I don't see what he sent to Emerson as a lie. The article is true, the only "lie" is that it came from Lois, but since he knew she wouldn't send it herself, I saw that as necessary.

However, if others agree that he comes across as stupid, please let me know as I definitely don't want that and will only be too happy to try to again.

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020
F
Kerth
OP Offline
Kerth
F
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020
Quote
Originally posted by anonpip:
He is supposed to be inherently human and thus makes mistakes, but not a fool. I guess I don't see what he sent to Emerson as a lie. The article is true, the only "lie" is that it came from Lois, but since he knew she wouldn't send it herself, I saw that as necessary.
You are entitled to write Clark however you see him. And if you want to make sound travel faster, fine, do so.

However while I am sure Clark & you don't see it as a lie, it remains a lie. However you are entitled to have Lois not see it as a lie.

I think the difference in our POVs is that you are showing us a Clark Kent that believes the end justifies the means. I am a believer that the end is shaped by the means.

I don't however think your Clark is acting out of character, I just think he has not learned better and I hope it blows up in his face.

From your comments I think you are going to have it work out to his benefit. Pity, I'd love to see it blow up in his face.

I am one of those folks that does not think heaping lies on top of lies ever works out good.

Your Clark is STILL making decisions for Lois, he continues to insult her by showing that he does not trust her to run her own life.

This is very in character with early relationship Clark as portrayed on L&C. So yes I think he is acting link an idiot, and I hope you don't have Lois let him off the hook.

We need to see the return of Mad Dog Lane.

And I still think that even if Lois and her paper don't work through my list of bad media angles some rags and TV programs will and it will bite him.


Framework4
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
T
TOC Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
T
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
As you probably know, I was one of those who was upset at the previous part of your story.

I liked this part a lot better. The reason for that is that this part was told from Lois's point of view. I like this Lois, just as I like most Loises. wink I can sympathize with her utter grief, shock and total sense of betrayal at Clark's horrible treatment of her. I like her family loyalty and the fact that she has helped her sister and brother-in-law raise their daughter. I'm very glad that she wants to be a reporter again. I was fascinated by her nervousness and determination when she was applying for a job, and I liked her response to John Emerson. I was happy to see her win her new job by writing a touchy-feely piece about a baby rhino. And I was fascinated by her mental struggle about whether, and how, she might write a piece about Superman.

As for Clark, though, I feel little sympathy for him. (But you should be aware that I tend to be a lot more critical of Clark than most members of these boards, so I don't think you have to worry that most people here will regard your Clark as an idiot.)

Personally I'm deeply critical of him. Frankly, no, I don't believe that he loves Lois. There is no way he would have let her grieve for him as dead for ten years if he had had the least bit of consideration for her feelings. Why didn't he tell her? The only reason I can think of is that nothing, but nothing, was more important to him than protecting his secret identity. Lois thinks he is dead? What a pity. Lois is going slowly mad with grief? Too bad. Lois's whole life is slipping? She is coming apart? Well, sorry about that, but what could he do about it? What? What did you say? He could have told her? Revealed his secret identity to her? Revealed it????? To her????? You're crazy, right?

So, no. I don't think this Clark loves Lois at all. He may be full of a selfish wish to be appreciated by her. To be loved by her. He used to take her adoration for granted - at least her adoration for Superman - and he would bask in it. For ten years, when he allowed Lois to think that Clark was dead, she wouldn't give him her adoration, and he missed it. But he was pretty okay, for all of that. The fact that Lois was going almost crazy with grief didn't bother him too much.

No, the reason why Clark is feeling so crummy these days is because Lois is suddenly so angry with him. He doesn't like that. She is feeling better now than she used to, and her life is going better again, but she is angry at him, and therefore he is wallowing. Let me quote that article he wrote in her name for her new newspaper:

Quote
Superman did not disappear for a week as he was needed somewhere far away as I know many of us imagined. He disappeared as he was grieving. He said little about where he was or what he was grieving for. But he told me very clearly that he had hurt someone very deeply and with alarming clarity that this person did nothing to deserve it. He, too, had believed he was above that kind of thing, and he had found himself wrong.
What Clark is saying here is that he abandoned his Superman duties for a week because he found it so devastating to learn, after ten years, that the woman he had so cruelly abandoned and allowed to grieve for him as dead was now angry at him. She was angry, and she would not forgive him! That made him feel so bad that he had to hide his face from the world for a week.

This Superman is not a loving person. He does not care about Lois's feelings. He just hates it when she is angry at him.

A colleague of mine, a male teacher, has six children by his ex-wife. One day she informed him that she had fallen in love with another man. She walked out on him, just like that, and told him that he might keep the kids, too.

Now suppose that this woman was to come back home after ten years and say to her kids: Hi kids, aren't you glad to see me? Mommy is back again. Give us a kiss, won't you?

And if she did that, her kids were supposed to forgive her just like that? And if they told her they couldn't forgive her, then suddenly she would start pouting and crying and she'd run off somewhere to wallow and feel sorry for herself? She would feel sorry for herself because her kids were angry at her?

Personally, I believe that this woman's children may forgive her eventually - sort of. But they will never trust her again in the same way that most kids, and adults, trust their mothers. You can't choose to turn your back on somebody for ten years and expect them to take you back again just like that, as if nothing had happened. And no, Clark obviously didn't choose to walk out on Lois, but he did choose not to contact her for ten years, and not to tell her what had happened to him.

I have never, ever wanted Lois to move on before. But in this story, I would actually prefer it if Lois married John Emerson instead of Clark.

Ann

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020
F
Kerth
OP Offline
Kerth
F
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020
Quote
Originally posted by TOC:
I have never, ever wanted Lois to move on before. But in this story, I would actually prefer it if Lois married John Emerson instead of Clark.
thumbsup


wildguy We need the Return of Mad Dog Lane! wildguy

BTW I did enjoy "A Conversation Best Overheard". I found it delightful.

Is there some reason you have on tap that Clark didn't know about the decline and fall of Lois Lane?

Did something happen to lead him to believe she was moving on and doing well?

If he wasn't off on New Krypton was he perhaps trapped in the Phantom Zone for most of the time?

BTW I have trouble with the Decline and Fall. We need a flashback of some sort explaining how Lois Lane got caught in the grief loop.


Framework4
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Umm...I loved this.
Quote
For a normal man, it would take approximately 2 hours for Lois' cry to travel from San Diego to Kansas (I'm assuming Smallville is somewhere in the center of Kansas). But we know that Clark has hearing far superior to a normal man given than he routinely hears things he shouldn't be able to.
It's just a story...a man can fly so why shouldn't he be able to hear Lois's cry immediately?

I don't think Clark is stupid and there is nothing wrong with your Lois. I assumed it to be essential to the plot.

Quote
The article is true, the only "lie" is that it came from Lois, but since he knew she wouldn't send it herself, I saw that as necessary.
I totally agree with this. The only part of the story that I think you should change is the frequency of your posts! peep

You asked...so I told you what I think.

~Sheila


I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 921
A
Features Writer
Offline
Features Writer
A
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 921
Again, I can't thank you enough for all of the comments - both praise and not quite praise. They really spur me on to write. I'm determined to get Clark out of this hole I dug for him and keep hoping that the things I know that I haven't shared yet will change the minds of those of you who are still unconvinced.

Additionally, the really detailed way you all give feedback is so helpful - particularly from those of you who have issues with the story. It really helps me determine where I need to flush out the story more to make it better. Hopefully, I'm learning as I go so I don't keep making the same mistakes...

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020
F
Kerth
OP Offline
Kerth
F
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020
Quote
Originally posted by anonpip:
I'm determined to get Clark out of this hole I dug for him
I think he needs to do some growing up.

Quote
Elsewhere in feedback to another story another member of these boards (TOC quoted without permission and slightly out of context) wrote
Of course, if you respect another person you can't decide all on your own what is best for him or her. It's possible to give love to another person in a condescending way, where you believe that you have all the answers.
Quote
Proverbs 18:1
“Whoever lives alone follows private whims, and is angered by advice of any kind.”
New Jerusalem Bible


“One isolating himself will seek [his own] selfish longing; against all practical wisdom he will break forth.”
New World Translation

I think that this is where your Clark is stuck. He has spent the last decade living ONLY as Superman. More and more he has begun to believe that only he knows best.

By lyingly posting an article in Lois's name to her editor he placed Lois in a no win position.

His actions with Lois make it clear that he makes decisions for other people and in Lois's case in such a way that she can't protest without causing other people major harm. She can't do anything without endangering the Kents.

I think the media, certainly the media as shown in L&C, will twist and distort the article.

Your Clark is well on his way to becoming a tyrant. Or at least a despot. How much longer till he decides he knows best for entire communities, cities, states, nations and at last the whole world?

In the series, and in many a FIC, when Clark got too full of himself Lois and Martha and Jonathan were there to burst his ego.

You titled this "Ten Years In the Making", I think it needs a subtitle "Thirty years to Fix."


Framework4

Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5