TOC is here if you haven't read the rest of this story...and would like to.
Okay... I apologise in advance - this part is nearly all angst. But I hope you enjoy it anyway!
A HUGE thank you to my amazing beta, Miriam, without whom this part would not have been possible.
Hi, Miriam!
Anyway, there is probably just the one part to go... I think (hence the '?').
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It was only half an hour later that Clark landed in an alleyway behind the Daily Planet. The cry for help that he’d heard had turned out to be a little old lady who needed assistance in crossing the street. While Superman was always happy to help, Clark couldn’t help feeling a little irritated with the woman for making him leave Lois for something so trivial. Oh, he’d thought the distressed plea was as genuine as they come when he’d left – turns out you can’t always trust your super hearing, or the elderly.
As Clark exited the elevator and wandered into the newsroom, he glanced around: no Lois that he could see. He looked over the top of his glasses and scanned the conference rooms and Perry’s office. Not there either.
Clark called out to Jimmy as he passed. “Hey, Jimmy. Have you seen Lois?”
“Not since you two left together this morning…” Jimmy said slowly. A grin appeared on his face. “Why, you lost her?”
Clark felt his chest constrict at his friend’s words but erected a mental barrier against the flood of alarming thoughts trying to fill his mind. “You-you haven’t seen her at all since this morning, Jimmy? Not even for a second?” Maybe she was just in the ladies room… ‘Please let her be in the ladies room…’
Jimmy’s expression became puzzled. “No; not at all, CK. Something wrong?”
Clark’s face visibly paled as Jimmy’s words sunk in and the barrier shattered, inundating his being with a feeling of absolute dread.
“I-” Clark choked out the word and didn’t stay to finish his sentence. He swivelled around and was in the stairwell before Jimmy could utter another syllable.
Clark sped to the rooftop, heedless of any need to disguise his abilities; fortunately he didn’t meet anyone on the way. Once on the roof he spun into the suit and shot into the air all in one fluid motion, a sonic boom following in his wake.
Frantically he flew across the city, his gaze searching every building; every street; every park; every car. No Lois. Then, through the fog of hopelessness already ensnaring his mind, Clark had a thought: ‘Go back to the start. Go back to where you last saw her.’
He stopped mid-air. Surely it couldn’t be that easy? Just to go back to the beginning? Reason warred with the panic that had all but consumed him. ‘Back to the alleyway,’ he thought. ‘Back to the start.’
As he ran the phrases through his mind again and again, Clark found the frenzied sensation receding and the voice of reason becoming louder. Nevertheless, a terrified knot remained lodged in the pit of his stomach, reminding him of what was at stake – of whom. As if he could forget…
It was a moment before Clark realised that he’d been hovering for a good five minutes. A return of the panic jolted his body into motion and soon he was speeding back towards the alleyway once more.
*****
Lois struggled against her bonds but it was no use, the ropes were just too tight. ‘Damn!’ she thought as she made her tensed muscles relax: the shifting had raised her heart rate and consequently her breathing was more ragged than usual. Resisting the urge to draw large amounts of the precious oxygen through her nose, she tried holding her breath but only ended up coughing when she realised she couldn’t possibly do it any longer.
‘Clark, where are you?’ Despite the fact that Lois was not claustrophobic, she was beginning to wonder if it was possible to develop the fear by way of situations such as these. The panic was beginning to build within her.
‘Maybe he’s busy with something else,’ suggested her inner voice. ‘Maybe he doesn’t even know you’re here.’
‘He can’t be busy! He has to know!’ Lois fought against the horror that churned the pit of her stomach as it suddenly became chillingly clear to her: she was going to die. If Clark came at all it was going to be too late. She wasn’t going to make it. ‘I wasted so much time,’ she thought sadly. ‘All the time I spent being stubborn and stupid and fighting with him, we could have been together. We could have had a wonderful week together. It’s all my fault. And now…’ She could feel the hot tears welling at the corner of her eyes. She sniffed, knowing hopelessly that even her snuffling was using up the air. ‘I just wish we could have had longer. I wish I’d gotten the chance to tell him ‘yes’. I wish…’ A tear slipped down the side of her face. ‘I wish I’d gotten a chance to prove that I loved him, to show him how much he means to me.’ She sniffed again, unable to help herself; another drop fell and then another.
As her tears continued, Lois began to realise that it was harder to draw in a proper breath. Her heart felt like it had been seized within an iron grip. This was it: time had almost run out.
‘I love you, Clark,’ she thought desolately. ‘You’ll never know just how much, but I love you. I’m sorry…. All that time…gone…’ Lois’ head lolled to one side and she felt rough cloth against her cheek. The air seemed unbearably thin now. Her mind started to become foggy. ‘Goodbye, Clark…’
*****
Landing in the alleyway, Clark looked around quickly: nothing here to provide any clue as to where Lois had gone.
“Lois, where are you?” he said aloud, only dimly aware that his voice was shaky. Who knew what was happening to her! She could be- It was possible she was…
Clark shook his head defiantly. He didn’t want to think about that. It wasn’t true; it couldn’t be. *She* couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible. No.
“No,” he whispered. He repeated the word, this time his voice firmer. “No!”
‘I love you, Clark.’ It was her voice – Lois’. Not out loud, but inside his head.
‘Lois?’ his consciousness screamed. ‘Lois, where are you?’
‘Goodbye, Clark…’
‘No, Lois!’ He fell to his knees at the sound of her voice inside his head. He didn’t know how it was happening; he didn’t care. All he cared about was the woman who had just told him she loved him and said goodbye. He couldn’t let her go that easily – she was far too important to him, far too special, too central to his life. Over the past two years, her life had become essential to his life. He couldn’t say goodbye. Not yet. It was too soon…
‘Far too soon.’ Clark collected himself, a grim expression playing over his face. He got to his feet. ‘There’s no way I’m going to just give up on her.’ He was going to find her and he was going to save her. Then they would have the rest of their lives to explore how perfect they were together.
Just then, as if by magic, a familiar but faint heartbeat sounded in his ears. Clark felt the thudding within his own chest matching it beat for beat.
“Hold on, Lois,” said Clark, the fervour in his voice making him sound every inch the heroic Superman he was. “I’m coming.”
And with this pronouncement, Clark was nothing more than a red and blue blur as he responded to the beat of his beloved’s heart.
*****
Lost in a world of mist, Lois wandered aimlessly. She kept expecting shapes and objects to loom out of the fog without prior warning. But it seemed as if she and the haze were the only things that existed in this world. And either the fog muffled sounds, or she truly was the only living thing there.
Drifting through this unfamiliar place, Lois found the thoughts of the world she’d left behind that flitted through her mind were beginning to fade. She was becoming confused and bewildered at the faces she could see upon her mind’s eye. Who were they? From where did she know them?
Who was she?
At this last question Lois stopped short, though the mist felt as if it were trying to urge her onwards. She struggled, but found she was unable to remember her own name. She vaguely recalled something about a piece of paper that was very important to her. No…several pieces of paper together. With a logo on the top and words littered across their surface. Lois squeezed her eyes shut, aching to be able to summon up a single word to describe what this collection of paper was called. But it kept escaping her – slipping away just as she reached out a tentative hand.
‘Why can’t I remember anything about my life?’ she wondered, fear clutching at her like a monster of legend, lurking in the darkness, lying in wait. Meanwhile, the haze surrounding her seemed almost insistent that she keep moving. She fought against it, standing firm and attempting to remember. It seemed so important to hold on to the memories; so imperative that she be able to recall the details of her life before she got to this place.
‘But maybe I’ve always been here?’ The destructive thought snuck in, and Lois tried to push it away. No, it wasn’t true! She had had a life before this, she was sure of it!
So what had happened?
*****
It wasn’t more than a few seconds between take-off to landing. Clark alighted upon the asphalt in front of a building, but couldn’t see inside because of the lead-based paint on the old walls. It looked like a warehouse, but the only thing he was sure of was that Lois lay within those walls. He could still hear the soft beat of her heart, though it was slow and seemed to be fading.
The terror gripped him anew, the thoughts of what a life without Lois would mean swarming into his mind. ‘No!’ he cried inwardly, pushing back against the darkness that threatened to overtake his spirit. Clark raced into the building, stopping short in front of a low stone casket. Then, without stopping to consider anything but the fact that Lois was inside it, Clark wrenched off the heavy lid.
Lois lay within, her heartbeat and breath sounds reduced till even Clark with his super hearing had to strain to hear them. Trembling, he bent down to gently lift Lois out of the casket.
“Lois? L-Lois?” he said, his voice as shaky as his body. “Lois, c-can you hear me?” ‘Oh, please tell me you can hear me…’ He cradled her in his arms as he waited for an answer, fearful that this time she might not wake up. “Lois, you’ve got to come back. You have to wake up. Please, come back to me!” Clark bowed his head and touched it to hers. “Oh, Lois…”
*****
Lois began walking again, her feet making almost no sound upon the ground. The haze urged her on towards where the environment seemed to be growing brighter. Lois squinted, looking towards what appeared to be the source of the light. ‘Should I go towards the light?’ She frowned and cocked her head to one side. ‘Now, why does that sound so wrong?’
Just then, Lois heard a sound coming from the opposite direction. It whispered across the shadowy landscape, its very incompleteness making it all the more alluring. “-is…” it called. “-is…”
Lois strained to hear more. ‘That sound…’ she thought. ‘It sounds so familiar…’ Without thinking she turned back, chasing the sound and scattering fog in her wake.
“Lois…” There! It was louder now. Lois found herself continuing to walk towards the cause of the sound, as she tried desperately to bypass the psychological barrier that was preventing her from understanding what the sound was trying to say to her. Because she knew deep down inside that whatever was making the sound was calling to her.
‘My name!’ she realised, stopping short as the full significance of her new awareness hit her. ‘It’s saying my name! That-that voice… It’s saying my name. I’m Lois.’
The voice continued as she stepped ever closer, and more words were added to its litany: “Lois…you’ve got to come back… You have to wake up…”
‘Wake up?’ Lois was confused. ‘I’m asleep?’ She waited for the voice to say more, to explain further.
“Please come back to me…” The voice now appeared to be pleading with her.
‘Come back?’ Lois was still confused and then, like the sudden comprehension she’d experienced before, it all became clear. ‘Clark!’ she cried inwardly. She tried to open her mouth and yell his name, but there was something about this strange world; she couldn’t speak as she normally would.
Lois looked around her. ‘How do I get back?’ she wondered. ‘How can I get back to Clark? I have to get back; he’s calling me! But how?’
Lois found herself looking around for a clue of some sort; something to point the way out of the mysterious world she had found herself in. But there were no gaudily painted arrows, no lights flashing. No sign emblazoned with the word ‘Exit’.
Then an odd thing happened: she felt warmth upon her forehead. In the middle of this misty, shadowy place where everything had remained at a constant cool temperature, she felt a change: definite warmth.
‘Clark…’ she felt herself heave a sigh, though she couldn’t hear it. ‘I feel you… I can-’ She paused, recognising what she had to do. ‘I can follow you.’
“Oh, Lois…” breathed Clark one last time, and Lois’ footsteps became louder as she moved towards him and the mist faded away.
*****
“C-Clark?” came the croaking voice. She sucked in a deep breath and coughed. “I came…back.”
Clark felt like crying, his relief was so great. He just clung to Lois, wishing he could hold her like this all the time. “Oh, Lois…” he said. “Lois…” He couldn’t seem to stop saying her name, couldn’t seem to stop revelling in the very fact that she was awake; she was alive! He held her close, feeling each breath; each time her chest rose and fell; each time her heartbeat pulsed against his own torso; each time her still shallow breaths echoed in his ears. It was amazing, all of it. It was life and it filled Lois. He would forever be grateful for that.
“Lois,” he said again. “I thought that I’d lost you this time. You have no idea…” His voice shuddered to a stop, unable to express his emotions when he’d seen her lying there in that casket.
“Clark…” Lois coughed once more. “I heard you – your voice. You were…” another cough, “calling me.”
“Sssh, don’t try to talk,” Clark gently pressed a finger to Lois’ lips. “You’ve…been through a lot.” Again he found himself close to tears as he thought of how close he’d come to losing her. He didn’t realise that the salty drops had actually fallen until Lois glanced up and into his eyes.
“You’re crying…” she said wonderingly, her own eyes tracing the paths the tears had made down his cheeks. “Don’t think…I’ve ever seen you…cry.” She reached up a quivering hand to wipe the tears away.
“Lois, I was so scared,” Clark found himself leaning into her hand. He let out a shuddering breath and watched as the tears continued to splash on to the blue spandex of his suit. “I was so, so scared.”
Finally Lois had to let her hand drop but she substituted Clark’s face for his arm, running her hand up and down its length in a comforting manner. Her coughs were coming much less frequently as her lungs re-accustomed themselves to the feeling of oxygen filling every cell. Clark breathed a sigh of relief; perhaps she would have no lasting damage stemming from this incident. Only one way to make sure though…
“Lois, I need to take you to the hospital,” he stated finally. “You need to be checked over by a doctor.” He didn’t want to let her out of his sight, but if it meant she would be healthy…
“Clark, I…I don’t want to go…” Lois’ heartbeat sped up. “I…”
“Lois, you need to go,” Clark replied earnestly. He gazed at her. “Please… Give me peace of mind. Let a doctor take a look at you.”
Lois searched the depths of his eyes, marvelling at the love and gentleness she saw there. But despite the love, she could also see determination reflected back at her. Clark was protective at the best of times; now he was unwavering in his resolution as well.
“Okay,” she said with a nod. She took a deep breath. “I’ll go with you…to the hospital. I’ll get checked out. But then…can you please take me home?”
Clark noticed that her pauses for breaths between phrases were growing further and further apart. He took this as a good sign, though he was no less stubborn about his decision to get her looked at by a doctor. In answer to her question, he too nodded. “Of course, Lois.”
“Good.” Lois let her hand fall from his arm. “Let’s get it…over with then.”
“Right.” Clark stood up with her still in his arms. He walked to the door and out into the late afternoon sunlight. Glancing down at Lois he asked, “You okay?”
Lois nodded, resting her head on his chest. “Ready when you are.”
And so with Lois’ meagre encouragement Clark took to the air.
*****
A few hours later, Clark slowly flew a drowsy Lois home after being given the ‘okay’ by a doctor at Metropolis General. The man had said that she was lucky; that he, Superman, had been just in time. Any longer and she would have either died or sustained permanent brain damage.
Clark shivered at the thought. Either possibility was too horrible to contemplate. He closed his mind against the onslaught of thoughts and flew quietly through the night.
“Clark?” Lois’ sleepy voice suddenly said. “We really should…talk.”
Clark winced, sure that she was about to chastise him for leaving her earlier that day; sure that she was about to tell him it was all his fault. He sighed. He knew it was his fault. Ever since he’d landed at the hospital with Lois, he’d been blaming himself for leaving her. ‘All my fault, all my fault…’ his brain chanted.
“Clark?” Lois stirred in his arms – she’d been expecting some sort of response. “We should talk…about the investigation.”
Clark’s eyes widened. She didn’t want to yell at him for not being there when she really needed him? She didn’t want to blame him for what had happened?
“About the investigation, Lois?” he said, making his descent towards her apartment. The bedroom window was, as always, open.
“Yes,” she replied impatiently. Her voice had an undertone that suggested she was struggling to stay awake after her ordeal, but nevertheless she was passionate.
“How about we talk about it in the morning?” Clark answered softly, landing just outside and walking in to place her on her bed. “You’re exhausted.”
“Yeah, well nearly dying can do that to you,” Lois said dryly.
‘Oh no… Here it comes,’ Clark thought, mentally steeling himself for the attack he was sure was coming.
But instead Lois curled up in a ball and yawned. “You know, maybe you’re right. I just can’t seem,” another yawn, “to keep my eyes open.”
Clark relaxed and took the folded blanket from the end of the bed. He covered Lois, and then stepped back, watching her.
“I’ll stay here tonight,” he told her. “Just to make sure you’re okay.”
“Hmm…okay. But take the suit off.” She snuggled into the blanket. “G’night, Clark.”
If Lois had looked at Clark’s face just then, she would have seen a brief expression of surprise before it was covered up with tenderness.
“Goodnight, Lois.” Clark spun out of the suit and back into his street clothes. “I’ll be right here if you need me.” He settled into the chair beside her bed and spoke one more time: “I love you, Lois.”
Lois took in a deep breath and then let it out. She burrowed even further beneath the blanket and her reply came out all muffled. “Hmm…love you too, Clark.”
To be continued (and possibly concluded) in Part 7...
~Anna.
