Thanks to LaraMoon for betareading.
TOC From Part 24:“She was furious at first and then she said that she would do something she should have done long ago. I didn’t know what she was talking about and I couldn’t follow her, because I had to take care of Becca first. She had had a little accident while I was asleep and needed her diaper changed” Clark shrugged and smiled sadly. “Lily called me later and asked me to bring Becca to her. She said that she would live with her parents from now on and that she was sorry she had ever bothered me with her baby. She was crushed and couldn’t stop apologizing. To be honest, I was too shocked to say anything. I loved Becca so much and I couldn’t imagine living without her. I didn’t want to be just her cousin; I wanted to be her father.”
Serendipitous Infinity
Part 25:“Mom wanted to leave you?” Becca asked; her eyes wide with shock. She turned to face her father. “Why would she want to do that? You wouldn’t have let her, would you? She…she must have known I would miss you!”
Clark caressed his daughter’s cheek, trying to calm her down. “Of course I wouldn’t have given up so easily. I wanted to talk to her about this to clean the air between us. But don’t forget that I wasn’t in a position to make any decision. She was your mother and I was just your cousin then. Even if she had named me as your father I didn’t want to act like I really was. It didn’t feel right to me. Your mother surely didn’t want to leave me in order to hurt you. Lily thought she was doing what was best for both of us.”
Clark paused, looking at Lois and Becca uneasily. Even now, years after the morning Lily had left to go to her parents’ home, he still felt guilty. If it hadn’t been for him falling asleep in the staircase she might be alive and well. She would have seen her daughter grow up to become the beautiful little angel she was now. Just one little mistake had led to catastrophe. He was never going to forget that, it was painfully engraved in his mind.
“Only it wouldn’t have been,” Becca muttered. “I wouldn’t want to live without you.”
“You wouldn’t have known what it was to live with me in the first place, honey. Maybe you would have been happier with your Mom? No weird powers, no girlfriend…” Clark pointed out and grinned at her impishly.
Lois chuckled. “How do you know she didn’t have any weird powers, Clark? After all, you didn’t tell her about yours if I get this right. Why would she have told you about hers? Maybe I’m hiding something as well?” She winked at him and wore a broad smile, trying to lighten up his mood. Becca glanced at them, bewildered, before she got the joke and began to laugh.
Clark joined Lois and Becca in laughter, but soon his smile faded as he thought about what had happened later that day and his expression darkened. It didn’t take long for Lois and Becca to realize the change in him and soon they became quiet again. They both looked at Clark, anxious for him to continue, but at the same time afraid of what it was that he was going to tell them. After all there had to be some secret that he hadn’t yet dared tell anyone, let alone his seven year-old daughter and a woman that was still somewhat of a stranger to him.
As Lois saw his sad eyes, she was about to let go of Clark. Why didn’t she let him keep his secret, if it was so hard for him to tell her? For a moment, she honestly couldn’t see the point in torturing him like this. He had done so much for her and deserved a little respect. Lois bit her lip then opened her mouth to tell him that he didn’t need to go into further detail. But the truth was that it wouldn’t be right. Not for him and not for Becca. They both deserved a life without the fear of being separated sooner or later if Mrs. Donovan used all her power to get what she obviously wanted.
“What happened then?” Lois asked softly and squeezed his hand in reassurance.
She wanted to kiss him. He looked like he could use a kiss, one that would make him forget about all the bad things. A kiss that conveyed all her love and affection, able to express all her feelings and reminding him that she would never leave his side. Lois tried to deny her sudden impulse to crawl over to him and turn into reality what she had just daydreamed of. Her body was responding to the mere thought of touching his lips, and she felt her heart beating faster. She felt like a teenager and could almost see her cheeks going red. This wasn’t what an honest talk was supposed to be, she reminded herself grimly and at the same time sighed with disappointment. Why wasn’t life easier? Why did her boyfriend have to have secrets that needed to be uncovered? And why was Lois Lane behaving so out of character? She mentally slapped herself.
Clark saw her inner struggle and even though he didn’t know what had caused it, he didn’t want to see her suffering. He cupped her cheek and what started as a gesture of comfort soon became more. With one hand, he held Becca and moved towards Lois, his hands set on fire as if a strong electrical force had gotten hold of him. It was the same magical source of power that he had experienced seemingly ages ago and yet only the other night. He had almost forgotten about it to discover it yet again. Before he really knew it, he leaned forward and touched her lips, eliciting an excited gasp, before Lois recovered from her surprise. Slowly she parted her lips, inviting him in with a low moan and caressing the tip of his tongue with hers gently.
Becca let out a muffled protest and Clark could feel her fists on his chest, failing to push him away. With a guilty look he pulled back, savoring the creamy taste of Lois lips. He knew he was blushing and as he glanced up, he could tell that Lois was embarrassed as well. She lowered her glance, turning beet red and mumbling an apology.
“If you want to be all kissy face with each other you could let me go,” Becca complained and pouted, her arms folded in front of her chest. “I think I’d rather go anyway…”
She looked at the two adults, studying their faces carefully as if she was afraid that they would continue to kiss for hours to come. Her daddy had warned her that this could happen. And it wasn’t that she wouldn’t allow her father to kiss Lois. She didn’t understand what it was about it that adults seem to like. Other than a few pecks on the cheek from her father or grandparents, she wasn’t too keen on being kissed. One of the boys from her school had tried it once, and it hadn’t been anything but wet and if she was honest, disgusting. If he liked it, of course he could do it. After all, it was Lois’ mouth and she didn’t need to worry about that. But did they have to suffocate her in the process? Becca could imagine better things to do than watch her father and Lois kissing.
“We will pull ourselves together now, Becca,” Lois muttered embarrassed and tried to look at Becca. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
Lois didn’t know what had gotten into her, or rather she did know. Clark was like a force of nature, she was completely helpless against him and even though she hadn’t wanted to act on her fantasies, she had done it nonetheless. It had been him who had started the kiss, but she had readily participated. She hadn’t even thought about Becca, and strange as it was, he obviously hadn’t either. As much as she had liked kissing him, she now felt guilty for not respecting the little girl’s feelings. The idea of sharing her father with someone else was relatively new to her; she deserved time to adjust to it.
“We talked about that, pumpkin,” Clark said gently and looked at Becca, who was still pouting. “I told you that Lois and I might kiss sometimes.” Becca grumbled something unintelligible and got up to leave. Clark held her back and lifted her up on his lap, holding her in his arms. “Does this upset you so much?” he asked.
“Yes,” Becca replied and then hesitated. “No…It’s just…I don’t know.”
“You didn’t think it would happen so fast, huh? If it’s any comfort, me either. I got kind of carried away. I didn’t mean to crush you between the two of us.” Clark cracked a weak smile and placed a peck on her cheek.
“What is it about kissing, anyway?” Becca asked, not yet satisfied.
“It’s…mhh, one day you’ll try it with a boy you’re in love with, Becca. And I promise you, you’ll find out. It’s nothing you can really explain. But trust me, it’s amazing.” He shot a meaningful glance at Lois and released Becca. “So do you want to stay with us, or do you rather want to go and play?”
“I’ll go play,” Becca decided and in the next moment she was running upstairs into Clark’s room.
Clark looked after her, unsure if he was relived that she had left. He hadn’t really wanted to tell her the whole story quite so soon, but he wasn’t actually looking forward to telling the whole thing once again. And she most likely would want to hear it; she deserved the truth. Just, not yet. He decided that it was better this way and obviously Lois was thinking the same. Her expression was more relaxed, as if she was less afraid of the words to come. And so was he. This story wasn’t exactly something a child Becca’s age should hear.
“I’m sorry, Clark,” Lois said but didn’t really look at him. She was still uneasy about the kiss they had shared. It had been wonderful, but that didn’t actually help her and much less was she comfortable with her still burning desire to kiss him again.
“It was me kissing you; if someone needs to be sorry it’s me. Do you regret it?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I didn’t want to hurt Becca.” Lois replied quietly.
“She’ll get over it. It’s new to her, but sooner or later she will accept it and will learn that the two of you make me the happiest man alive.” Clark ran a hand through Lois’ hair. “Isn’t that going to be good for her as well?”
Lois nodded self-consciously. “I guess I’m afraid to do something wrong. I’m not very experienced with relationships or children. This is all so new to me as well. I just confessed to myself that I have feelings for you, though I tried hard not to fall for anyone. But you just stormed into my life and conquered my heart.”
“As long as we are both comfortable with what we’re doing, there is nothing to be afraid of. You have to know that I will never ever force you into doing something that you don’t want to do.” Clark took her hand in his and pulled her in an embrace. With a sigh, Lois rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes to intensify the moment.
“I’m glad I met you,” she whispered into his shirt and enjoyed being held in his strong arms.
“So am I, Lois,” he replied and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I guess I owe you the rest of the story, don’t I?”
Clark lifted Becca up after he had changed her diaper. She was still crying and no matter how tightly Clark held her, nothing seemed to be able to calm her down. He tried to rock her back to sleep, since he knew that she had to be tired. In the staircase, it had surely been cold and uncomfortable. Even if a toddler could sleep just about anywhere, he was pretty sure that she hadn’t gotten much rest.
Maybe it was his own nervousness that made his little girl restless. Clark was looking at the clock over and over again. What was Lily doing, where had she gone? He had tried to listen in on her, but he couldn’t find her heartbeat anywhere around, not with Becca crying. The sound pierced into his head like a knife when his super hearing was turned on. So Clark had given up, trying to calm Becca down first.
“Shhh, honey,” he mumbled soothingly. “It’s okay, Mommy will come back soon.”
He didn’t know what to do. Clark tried with food, but Becca turned her head away and continued to sob heart-wrenchingly. Clark wondered whether she knew that he and Lily had had some kind of fight, and if she was misunderstanding things. But Becca was still too young to know about fights, wasn’t she? He hoped she was and he wished Lily would come back so that he could clean the air between them. Why hadn’t he told her the truth long ago? He should have had enough confidence in her to trust her. After all, she was his cousin and this whole day wouldn’t have started out so horribly if she had known why he had fallen asleep there. Clark cursed himself and paced through their much too small apartment.
He glanced over to the phone, indecisively. Perhaps his mother could help him. But he could imagine her speech already. She would tell him that Lily was right to take over responsibility for Becca and herself. She would say that it was about time that she did it. As much as Martha Kent loved her niece, she had never particularly liked the fact that Lily had named Clark as Becca’s father without asking him. And she saw how much Clark was working to help his cousin raise her child. But honestly, his mother didn’t even know the half of it. He remained silent about most of the rescues so that his parents didn’t worry too much about him. He didn’t want to hear any more of his father’s lectures on hiding himself.
If he phoned them now, telling them what had happened and asking them if they knew where Lily was…Clark shook his head. It just wasn’t a good idea. But he couldn’t stay at home either. He had to find Lily and the sooner the better. But he had no idea how he was going to turn his plan into reality. After all, he was left alone with a crying toddler and there was no way he could go anywhere without Becca.
“Oh, honey, I wish I knew where your mommy is,” he said, no longer able to lie to himself. She wasn’t going to come back soon. He didn’t know what exactly she had meant by saying that she was going to do what she should have done long ago, but as it was, it didn’t sound like she had just gone shopping. “Any ideas where we are going to find your mommy?” he asked the toddler in his arms.
“Mommy?” Becca replied and looked at him with huge eyes.
His addressing her had obviously distracted her enough to stop crying. Clark let out a sigh of relief and used the opportunity to listen for Lily. He knew her heartbeat so well that he could find her about anywhere, assuming that she was still within earshot, which was several miles. Becca played with his shirt and rested her head against his chest, now obviously tired from crying so long. He caressed her head gently to calm her further and to assure her that he was still there for her, even if he was far away, mentally.
Hard as he tried, he couldn’t hear anything that sounded even close to Lily. Disappointed by his inability to find her, he scanned the area once again, hoping that he had just missed the faint sound. But it was futile and Clark hadn’t really expected to find anything, anyway. His heart sank and sadly he decided to give up on it, when suddenly a loud ring tortured his ears. With an anguished moan, he turned down his super hearing, rubbing his temples with his free hand. The phone rang again, this time in a normal volume as it seemed and Clark rushed to the receiver.
“Lily?” he asked.
“No, Clark, it’s Mom. I assume you don’t know why Lily came to Smallville?” his mother replied and he could tell by the tone of her voice that she was worried. “Are the two of you having any problems?”
“Kind of,” Clark admitted carefully. He didn’t lie to his parents, but that didn’t mean he had to be completely frank about everything. “I was hoping I could solve some misunderstandings we had. You said that Lily is in Smallville? Have you talked to her?”
“Yeah, she asked for a place to sleep. She said she probably isn’t going to need it, but she wanted to make sure she had one, just in case,” Martha explained.
“Did she say what she was going to do there?” Clark wanted to know and adjusted Becca’s position in his arm. She let out a soft protest but kept quiet otherwise.
“No, actually I called to ask you about it. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her here,” she said and destroyed Clark’s hope of finding a quick answer to his questions. At least he knew where she was now.
“Come on, Mom. You can’t actually call three weeks a long time,” Clark laughed despite himself.
“Given the frequency of her visits a few years ago, I can. For years she practically lived with us and now I hardly ever see her, let alone her sweet little darling. Why don’t you wrap Becca up in something really, really warm and come over, son?” she asked, putting no effort in trying to hide her broad hint.
Clark couldn’t help but chuckle, though he didn’t really feel like it. “You’re asking me to fly over to Smallville in broad daylight?” He did his best to sound incredulous.
“Don’t you dare mock me, Clark Jerome Kent! We both know it’s a cloudy day and no one will see you even if you set out to be seen,” she said. “See you in a bit.”
“Yeah, I’ll be there. Bye, Mom.” Clark replied and hung up. “Looks like the two of are going on a journey. Fancy a flight, little Miss Becca?” Though she couldn’t possibly have understood what he meant, she let out an excited giggle and Clark kissed her forehead. “I’ll take that as a yes, but don’t you complain later, honey. Okay, let’s get you dressed in something really, really warm.” to be continuedAuthor's note: Lara asked me how old Becca was in the flashback and if she could possibly speak at that time. Becca is somewhat between one and a half year and two years old. And she should at least be capable of one word speech. And she doesn't really say more than mommy and bye, so I guess this should be okay.
