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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,367
Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,367 |
A confession - I started reading this story because I had to (for the archive), but I am so completely hooked on it now! It's a very clever and fun idea and it's being extremely well-written in a really smooth style. I've always preferred stories that move forward with dialogue and action versus introspection. Not that there isn't introspection - there is, but it's well written and to the point.  I'm glad you decided to post on the boards. I think you're really going to like it here - and I'm absolutely certain that everyone else is going to love having you here. 
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1 |
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
You're off to a good start  And we don't mind how long stories get so long as they're good -- the better they are, the longer we like them -- so don't worry about it. <g> You've got a good handle on young Lois, I think -- I especially appreciated this bit: The Kents and the Georges seemed to be genuinely nice people. After all, they had adopted Alisha- Ms. Taylor- and Clark and the two seemed to really love their parents, even though Alisha laughingly told her dad that she was never coming home again if he didn’t stop asking her to bring him son-in-law. Well, then again. Maybe they weren’t so nice. Don George had a great daughter yet he still wanted a son. Just like her dad. Very poignant, how she interprets the teasing. PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 185
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 185 |
This looks like this is going to be a very enjoyable story! I'm looking forward to the rest of it. Just be patient- the rest of the story gets better! I hope you aren't putting yourself down here--Part 1 is very good. If the rest gets better it's going to be fantastic. Vonceil
Johnny was a chemist,
Now Johnny is no more,
For what he thought was H two O
Was really H two S O four.
--Lab safety limrick--
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 31
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 31 |
You have definitely caught my interest. I love how Lois and Lucy seem to be so different, even though they both come from the same home. It's clear that Lois is shielding Lucy as much as possible. I'm really curious to see how such an independent Lois will react to "being taken care of" instead of doing all the caregiving herself. I have a funny feeling that Clark may not be able to keep his secret under wraps the whole summer. After all, we all know how just nosy Lois Lane is...  Alisha laughingly told her dad that she was never coming home again if he didn’t stop asking her to bring him son-in-law. Well, then again. Maybe they weren’t so nice. Don George had a great daughter yet he still wanted a son. Just like her dad. This struck me. Lois doesn't understand that wanting a son-in-law is not at all the same as wanting a son. No, sorry. I'm not feeling very patient. I want more now!  the rest of the story gets better! Really? Wow. It's already quite good... ~C Noetal (impatiently waiting for more  )
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Joined: Dec 2005
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,018 |
Framework4
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
I, too, liked it a lot. And because I am the world's greatest Lois fan, I was very moved by this 13-year-old Lois whose goal in life is to adopt her baby sister Lucy when she herself is eighteen, so that she can save Lucy from their dysfunctional parents. Never mind that she herself will not be able to go to college or make the best of her academic abilities.
But now she and Lucy are going to spend three weeks in Smallville with the Kents! With Martha, Jonathan and 15-year-old Clark! This is promising, indeed. Come back soon with more!
Ann
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292 |
I've just come across your story, and after only one part, I already love it! I can't wait to get home to read more. 
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864 |
I'm enjoying this very much. Very well written.
My mother was a foster parent to her sister in the same way Lois plans. It's interesting that I never saw Lois in her, until you wrote her that way, of course.
Like you, I also like to set my stories in the modern day. Technology was just too weird, even only a few years ago.
I can't wait to read more, especially knowing that Clark has no idea what he is in for.
Elisabeth
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763 |
Sorry I'm late...
Just loved the first part and it was nice and long! I'm hooked.
Poor Lois. Mind you I was craving a story like this (see Mindkin hmm wonder if I spelled it right).
Running off to the next part.
I've converted to lurk-ism... hopefully only temporary.
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