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#39717 03/02/07 03:50 PM
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As usual, let me be the first say...


YARRRROOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! party

I think my feedback on this story is increasingly becoming far too lengthy and analytical, don't you? laugh

Btw, Smirkster, would you terribly mind reposting any chapters that might have been lostin the Great Site Crash? I wanna pull out the old chapters and re-read them, sometime.

Off to read! ((((Rachel))))


“Is he dead, Lois?”

“No! But I was really mad and I wanted to kick him between the legs and pull his nose off and put out his eyes with a freshly sharpened pencil and disembowel him with a dull letter opener and strangle him with his own intestines but I stopped myself just in time!”
- Further Down The Road by Terry Leatherwood.
#39718 03/02/07 04:12 PM
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Hi!

Wow! Clark got his ship back and you have Henderson in this chapter. Wow! Henderson is always awesome, and one of my favorite personalities. I really loved the part with Henderson in it.

Clark getting his ship back and the "Fortress of Solitude" was inspired!

Thanks for a wonderful chapter once again!


G. Kuhn
#39719 03/02/07 04:13 PM
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Oh Wow, How wonderful to see the Fortress come into being!! But PLEASE grovel don't let him give into the temptation to stay away for 8 years!!!

And WHO let it out that Superman would stay as far away from anything that even looked like our hated green rock? Just what he didn't need!(although it could be an intersting way for Lois to finally figure it out. . .)


Johnny was a chemist,
Now Johnny is no more,
For what he thought was H two O
Was really H two S O four.
--Lab safety limrick--
#39720 03/02/07 04:24 PM
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What a twist!! So now Superman er Clark Kent has a choice... after being tortured by the likes of Bureau 39 (humans).. does he want to go back to his bumbling self (as perceived by Lois) and a part-time superhero
or
become a full-fledged Kryptonian as most of the world including Lois seems to treat him as.

thumbsup thumbsup


If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.

Waking a Miracle by Aria
#39721 03/02/07 04:49 PM
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Hack from Nowheresville
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thumbsup thumbsup thumbsup 4 reviews already! Oh, boy! hyper

Okay. I am calm.

One sec and I'll be right back.

SmirkyRaven

#39722 03/02/07 04:49 PM
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LadyMirth wrote:
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I think my feedback on this story is increasingly becoming far too lengthy and analytical, don't you?
lol. But it amazes me how you are consistently the first one to start the reviews. And your enthusiasm is quite flattering, that is for sure! laugh

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Btw, Smirkster, would you terribly mind reposting any chapters that might have been lostin the Great Site Crash? I wanna pull out the old chapters and re-read them, sometime.
I just did a quick scan and I think they're all there, but if you find one missing just drop me a note! Thanks for your review!

G. Khun wrote:
Quote
Wow! Clark got his ship back and you have Henderson in this chapter. Wow! Henderson is always awesome, and one of my favorite personalities. I really loved the part with Henderson in it.

Clark getting his ship back and the "Fortress of Solitude" was inspired!
laugh Thanks! I actually had the idea of the Fortress since about chapter 5. I tell you, these last past chapters and next few have been waiting forever, so it's great to see thim "in print." I'm glad you're liking it!

Hello, Mervoparkite! It's wonderful to hear from a new reviewer! smile1

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Oh Wow, How wonderful to see the Fortress come into being!! But PLEASE don't let him give into the temptation to stay away for 8 years!!!
laugh <remains silent and rocks on her heels>

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And WHO let it out that Superman would stay as far away from anything that even looked like our hated green rock? Just what he didn't need!(although it could be an intersting way for Lois to finally figure it out. . .)
Who do you think let that news out, hm? Mwhahahaha . . .

AnKS wrote:
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What a twist!! So now Superman er Clark Kent has a choice... after being tortured by the likes of Bureau 39 (humans).. does he want to go back to his bumbling self (as perceived by Lois) and a part-time superhero
or become a full-fledged Kryptonian as most of the world including Lois seems to treat him as.
Yeah. Poor guy. He’s definitely in a fix, isn’t he?

Hehee. Thanks for your review, AnKS!

And everyone else, of course! smile1 laugh blush thumbsup

SmirkyRaven

#39723 03/02/07 05:08 PM
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You're a rockstar, Smirky! That seems to be my current phrase...Anyway, having a Fortress of Solitude tie-in was just great. Clark's got a lot on his plate methinks. This was definitely worth the wait AND the trip over to the Metro Coffee House so I could get some internet. <g>

Well at least Clark's heard Lois say that he's a bumbling idiot. Maybe it'll make him get his act together for a CONVERSATION sometime.

JD
who truthfully didn't do *that* much homework today <g>


"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
#39724 03/02/07 06:27 PM
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Great! You capture Clarks emotions in his awe filled state perfectly. Good job, I can't wait for the next chapter. Laura


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

Caroline's "Stardust"
#39725 03/02/07 08:14 PM
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Columnist
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Great chapter!

My jaw dropped when the police pulled out the fake kryptonite--I definitely didn't see that one coming.

BTW, I hope you don't mind, but I started making a trailer for your story. I was going to email you about it but I couldn't find an email address in your profile.

This is my first trailer, and your story is so fantastic that it immediately came to mind.

Can't wait for the next part!


Silence is golden.
Duct tape is silver.

~Saw it on a T-Shirt.
#39726 03/02/07 09:04 PM
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Shadow wrote:
Quote
You're a rockstar, Smirky!
Lol. Nah--I'll leave that to Perry. laugh

Quote
Anyway, having a Fortress of Solitude tie-in was just great. Clark's got a lot on his plate methinks. This was definitely worth the wait AND the trip over to the Metro Coffee House so I could get some internet. <g>
I'm very glad you liked the idea. And I'm very glad indeed to hear that the chapter was worth your sacrifice. smile1 blush laugh smile1 smile1

But you couldn't find my email address, eh? Well, I'll go see if I can fix that. . .

[edit] Done! So if you need to contact me, I hope my email address will show up now. thumbsup [/edit]

<bounces off in a very cheery mood indeed>

SmirkyRaven

#39727 03/02/07 10:52 PM
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Wow, what a chapter! smile1

#39728 03/02/07 10:57 PM
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OMG I got so completely caught up in your story that I read all 38 parts in one go.

I guess all I can say now is... more, more, more!!!

hyper


I was home eating chocolate—cottage cheese.
Chocolate flavoured cottage cheese. It's a new flav—
I was doing my laundry.

—Lois Lane
#39729 03/03/07 12:11 AM
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Another excellent chapter, Rachel. I can only echo the previous posters and say that this was, again, wonderful. I didn't see coming the information about Kryptonite being made public either, but it fits the twisted, psychopathic personality behind Logram and B39 perfectly. ("We didn't kill him, so let's tell all the world's criminals how to do it. [cue evil laugh])

Even thought Lois didn't make an appearance, she was here. When Clark pondered how she was treating him and how he made it so easy for her to treat him that way, I wanted to slap him upside the head and yell, "Don't make her work so hard to try to like you!" And I loved the line where he pocketed the pocketknife. It struck me funny.

The rescue at the shootout was excellent. The description from Superman's viewpoint of how the bullets seemed to float towards him was truly inspired, as was his care in not picking up the window fragments in his wake. And the burglar's reaction when he realized that he was shooting at Superman was interesting. He was carrying a green glass crystal, too, so his backup plan failed utterly.

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His stare was dark and completely cold as he looked at the crook, and it was enough to make the man tremble and actually drop his gun from a shaking hand.

“P-please . . . ” the robber stuttered, clearly terrified for his life.
Superman's demeanor seems to have hardened a bit, too. Of course, it's probably a reaction to the trauma he's been through. At least he isn't stuttering any more.

And the Fortress? I didn't see that coming, either. You know, I was never all that comfortable with that aspect of the movies, with all the inhuman, cold, emtionless, alien crystal shapes and prismatic effects on screen, but you've managed to warm them up for me. Thank you.

And now, what is Clark going to learn? And how long will he hide out in this Kryptonian university? Ooh, it's interactive! AI with a superior attitude! Does it have a games folder?

I hope you have the next several chapters put together already, or else a certain someone might find little guys carrying spears and chainsaws chasing her around.


Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing
#39730 03/03/07 01:37 AM
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A bit of FDK here, Rachel, although there will be no Biblical comparisons this time (at least I don't think so at the moment....)

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He loved her, but at times she seemed to downright loathe half of him—the half of him that was him.

He didn’t want to be Superman, the Alien. He just didn’t think of himself that way, even if Lois claimed that she could see the person—the human underneath.
I think Clark is selling Superman short. He is a bit in denial about his superhero persona, refusing to see that this superhero is himself. (Though I must admit that Clark may be less in denial about himself than Lois is in denial about Clark.)

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Lois. She loved Superman so much, but after hearing her rant Clark had to admit that Lois did indeed have a point. In her eyes, he really was a cowardly, bumbling, stuttering, and irresponsible hick from Smallville. And as of late, had he given her any reason to think otherwise?
I'm glad Clark realizes that Lois has some kind of a point. (But I feel very sorry for Clark, too. Like you said, Rachel - being told these things about yourself isn't exactly going to make it easier for you to turn yourself into a better person.)

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And wasn’t that the worst thing of all? If once Lois found out, she realized that the real him—the whole him—was just too annoying to put up with?
Will she or won't she? As Tank put it a while ago, will Clark Kent be raised up in Lois's eyes when she learns about his Superman identity, or will Superman sink lower in her eyes? That's the sixty-four thousand dollar question.

But what about the pocketknife?

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She had found it for him. She had contacted the Primaries, and had probably taken McPheron by the throat and shaken him until he had begged mercy and gone out to find it himself.

But what was it supposed to mean? Was this just the beautiful, lovely, kindly angel peeking through a crack in the fortifications around Lois Lane’s being? Would she have done this for anyone? Or did she actually care enough to get the knife back for Clark Kent?

He didn’t know. Considering her fiery wrath, the thought that she would do anything for Clark Kent after he had disappeared on her yet again was astounding. So confusing. So unreasonable . . .
The idea that Lois would do anything for Clark Kent is simply wonderful. I want to believe that some part of her realizes that, yes, Clark is the man that she loves, or at least he is an aspect of the man she loves, and she just can't live without him.

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The sky was yet clear, though the eastern air from over the bay carried the blue scent of coming rain.
Sometimes your imagery is breathtaking in the humble simplicity of its originality, and in its perfection.

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He had landed and taken off a number of times since then, even with only the three rescues he’d helped with that night . . . but every time he looked up to the sky and the distantly twinkling stars he was afraid that when he tried to reach them . . . he wouldn’t be able to. That his feet would stay grounded.
You manage to give the word "grounded" a whole new meaning.

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The thought scared him so much that he was loathe to land time after time, for fear that he wouldn’t be able to break away into that true freedom once again.

Clark spun into the suit. He looked up into the sky again, and with a moment’s hesitation more, he took a deep breath and stepped out of gravity’s grasp and into the gentle air.
Beautiful....

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It greeted, him, the almost-unnoticeable wind currents brush against his skin like hands welcoming him home
Breathtakingly beautiful.

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He turned his face to the stars, letting himself drift upwards rather than drive himself forward through the perfect black air which sat silent like a flawless, serene, eternal river. He rose up, the world shrinking beneath him as he slowly picked up speed—faster, faster
Beautiful. Vertiginous. Mindbogglingly fraught with exhilarating rollercoaster fright. Like falling upwards, as if gravity was reversed, making you fall and plunge away from the Earth until your home in the universe disappears behind the event horizon of the cosmos, leaving you stranded in nothingness.

Well, you show us that Clark isn't scared of this falling away from the Earth anymore. He had only been scared the first time it happened to him.

But there is something symbolic about Clark's falling away from the Earth into space. Is it his alien roots calling him?

Clark doesn't continue his journey away from the Earth, however. He stops and contemplates his adopted world:

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It was such a beautiful world, he marveled. So large, so open and diverse—so expansive. He slowed slightly, letting the babble of the flowing brook of humanity glide through his ears, and through him.

The sound of life. The sound of love, of hope, of joy. Of being.
He loves it. He doesn't want to leave it.

But then he is assaulted by the cries of pain and fear. Trying to escape them, he flies higher:

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Trying to shake the sounds from his being, Clark drifted higher, floating out of earth’s atmosphere into the perfect silence of the vacuum of space. It was black there. Empty. The world sat beneath him, appearing almost lifeless as it floated there in the endless void of nothingness. He hovered there for a moment, directionless, then shivered at the cold he could almost feel.
The astronomy buff in me insists on pointing out that the world would look living and amazing from this relatively close up. If you could see the Moon and the Earth simultaneously (i.e., if none of these celestial bodies were located in the direction of the Sun from your vantage point) you would be struck by the visual difference between the Earth and the Moon. The Earth is much bigger than the Moon, but above all it is brimming with vivid colors, while the Moon is a dull, dark, almost monocolored gray.

And Clark doesn't like the silence of space:

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The silence was a thousand times more thunderous and chilling than even those countless pitiful cries for help. For in those cries there was life. There was hope, if only the vestiges of it clinging to despair.
So beautifully put.

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With those cries he was never alone.

He dove back down, the sound barrier cracking behind him again as he shot as blue lightning into the heavens down back to Earth. Thunder shook the air behind him as he shot between the buildings of Metropolis.

There was no hiding anymore, and there was always something for Superman to do.
I love it. The reverse gravity of his alien ability flight made him fall away from the Earth. The beauty of his adopted homeworld made him stop to contemplate it. Its cries for help made him, momentarily, fly away even higher to escape those sounds. But he really couldn't live without them, and in the end, it was those cries for help - and I guess, the hope those cries symbolize, because if there is no hope there is no reason to cry out - it was those cries that made him return to the Earth.

Beautiful. Beautiful. The only thing that would have made it even more beautiful to me is if Clark had also been aware of Lois out there in space, and realized that he nothing in the universe bound him stronger to a place than the presence of Lois Lane, and his own desperate need to be with her.

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Superman angled down, x-raying quickly to get a picture of the whole situation. With a last burst of speed, he dove downwards, catching the four bullets that were hovering in the air as he swept past. The window to the store was already broken, so foregoing the door Superman flashed inside, slowing only enough so the glass fragments wouldn’t get caught in his current of air and become deadly projectiles. He stopped abruptly, landing on his feet as his cape caught on the wind he had created and billowed out behind him.
What a wonderful description of the awesome power of our favorite superhero.

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Clark flinched, but caught himself fast enough that he didn’t move, not even a change in his expression.

The gun went off, and then again. The bullets flew slowly towards him, and he watched them as they almost seemed to drift, spinning lazily in the molasses air as the sleek metal lulled towards him.
Beautiful. You make us see things through Superman's eyes. This is what the world would look like if we, too, were faster than a speeding bullet and physically invulnerable. At the same time you remind of of Superman's mental vulnerability, his fear.

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Suddenly, one of the officers searching the crook straightened, cautiously drawing from the man’s pocket a short, thin, sickly-green colored crystal.

Rational thought fled. Clark staggered back, bumping into one of the police cars and sending it a good two feet backwards. The side window shattered as the door bent in from the force.
Oh, wow! You scared me to death, Rachel! And I'm still inside Clark's head, still seeing the Kryptonite-colored crystal through Clark's eyes, feeling his panic because of it.

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Henderson swore, coming forward. “Are you all right?” he demanded.

Clark swallowed, hiding the shaking of his hands by continuing to brush the fragments of glass from his cape. “Yes,” he said, his voice as steady as he could make it, despite the scare.

Henderson swore again. “We had heard that this stuff—this kryptonite-could hurt you, but we never actually believed.” He turned and barked, “You men! Get that contained and put away for analysis. I don’t want a single speck of dust left behind, understand?” He looked back to the superhero.

It was dark, so the hardened police chief may have imagined the slight flush of embarrassment and shame that crept over Superman’s pale-colored face.

“I really am all right,” he said, looking up at last. “That . . . that wasn’t—isn't—kryptonite.”

Henderson frowned at him, recognizing the honesty of his tone. “But then why . . . ?” His sentence trailed off and he stopped, looking at the superhero with a new light of realization in his eye. “You thought it was kryptonite.”
Oh, wow. Henderson is smart and sharp-eyed. And poor Clark, the shame of having revealed his fear and weakness in front of Henderson. Well, now it has been confirmed - Kryptonite is real, it can hurt Superman, and it had something to do with Superman's disappearance.

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“Superman, have you talked to Lane yet?”

Clark frowned at the unexpected question, and his eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“She’s been in contact with an organization called the Primaries.” Clark looked at him sharply, feeling a chill. “They came to me some weeks back, asking me to join up with them, seeing as I had talked to you more than most.” He paused, glancing up to make sure no one had come close enough to hear. “I turned them down.”
Gaahh!!! This sounds bad. The Primaries seem very bad news, now. And Lois was in contact with them, to retrieve Clark's pocketknife.

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Henderson nodded. “Good to have you back, Superman,” he said. There was a pause. “Be careful.”

It was the first time anyone had ever told him to be careful while he was in the suit, besides his mom and dad.
Got to love Henderson. He is a kind of surrogate, if distant, father to a lot of people, I think.

Well, more than half of this chapter remains, but this is where my quoting stops. The rest of the chapter deals with Clark's spaceship and the construction of his Fortress of Solitude in the Arctic, just like we saw it happen in Superman Returns, and in Superman the Movie too, if I remember things correctly. And I've got a confession to make, Rachel. Nowadays, after so many years as a Superman fan, not too much about Superman that doesn't have a lot to do with his relationship with Lois interests me anymore. Oh, it was totally appropriate and perfect to have his Fortress created in your story, too, but... well, the details don't interest me.

I keep thinking about Jor-El, though. I don't much like the Jor-el in this story. Okay. I guess I wasn't done quoting after all.

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“If your arrival on Earth proceeded according to plan, you have known of your Krypton heritage since the year of your ninth-Earthly birthday, approximately six years after you arrival to that planet. Now you should be nearly grown—a young man approaching manhood, and this fortress is designed to guide you on that journey—to your destiny.”
Disgusting! Talk about laying out your son's life for him before he has a chance to live it on his own.

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“We have recorded the knowledge of the 38 known galaxies in the crystals before you,” his father continued, heedless of his son’s thoughts—of course. He was dead. This was like a film, a movie—a last recording, like the globe was. “For the next eight years of your life you will learn from them. And then you will be ready.”
That talk about 38 known galaxis, which is taken straight from Superman Returns, is nonsense, I want to point out. Humanity has a reasonable knowledge about thousands of galaxies, but that doesn't mean that our knowledge about all these galaxies, including our own, isn't still rudimentary. If the Kryptonians, unlike us Earthlings, had such complete knowledge about 38 galaxies (and why only 38? And which ones, I wonder? The Large and Small Magellanic Clouds? The Andromeda Galaxy? The Sculptor Dwarf? Messier 81 and 82? IC 342? Maffei 1? NGC 253? The Virgo cluster galaxies?) then how could they remain so ignorant about the fate of their own planet that they couldn't even save themselves by escaping to one of these other galaxies which they must have had such perfect access to? The 38 known galaxies - what nonsense.

Ah, but - that infuriating Jor-el! I have barely stopped fuming at his nonsensical talk about galaxies than I see red at the way he wants to rule his son's life from beyond the grave.

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Ready? Ready for what? And destiny? What end had his father meant him for?

To rule over them, but never as a tyrant. That was what the globe had said, anyway. But how literal had his father meant it?
No matter how figuratively he meant it, it was too literal for me. mad

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Clark shook his head. The idea wasn’t even chilling to him—it was just laughable, in a grim sort of way. He had no desire or right to rule over Earth—as a tyrant or otherwise. Technically, he couldn’t even run for president.

Besides, he was Clark Kent. He didn’t want to rule over anybody.
I was in London last week, and I and my friend went to the National Portrait Gallery. I'll never forget the incredibly moving painting of the little King, Edward VI, looking all of his nine years when he was made King of England after his fearsome father's, Henry VIII's, death. I can just imagine all the plans his imposing father had made for his little son. But the poor boy died himself at sixteen.

Gaaaahhh! Jor-el doesn't understand his son at all. Clark is gentle, loving, sincere, altruistic, noble, hopelessly in love with Lois, and a little scared. Clark is not cut out to be anybody's ruler. And Jor-El is dead. Please make Clark understand that he shouldn't listen too much to Jor-el, irrespective of the fact that Jor-El and Lara were the two people who once gave Clark life.

Fascinating chapter, Rachel, but I hope to see a lot of Lois next time.

Ann

#39731 03/03/07 04:35 AM
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Wonderful chapter, Smirky.

I liked the way you described Clark's feelings as he lifted off into the sky. That was very poetic and touching.

The fortress of solitude is really an interesting twist. clap

Come back soon!


It's never too dark to be cool. cool
#39732 03/03/07 11:42 AM
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Loved the whole chapter, but I have to point out that every time I think you've laid the best cliffhanger on us that you can, you surprise me. That last line, "He took a deep breath, and began," especially with the line before about all the questions swarming in his brain, is so amazingly "open."


I think, therefore, I get bananas.

When in doubt, think about time travel conundrums. You'll confuse yourself so you can forget what you were in doubt about.

What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence?
I don't know and I don't care one way or the other.
#39733 03/03/07 12:32 PM
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Hack from Nowheresville
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SamEggert wrote:
Quote
OMG I got so completely caught up in your story that I read all 38 parts in one go.

I guess all I can say now is... more, more, more!!!
eek thumbsup WOW! You just sat down and read the whole thing!? You realize how long this fic is, right? It's about as long as the FOTR, if my estimate of one of my favorite books' lengths is correct. I'm flattered that you got so caught up in it.

I'm working on the next chapter as we speak, so your wish is my command. <bows>

Terry Leatherwood wrote:
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I didn't see coming the information about Kryptonite being made public either, but it fits the twisted, psychopathic personality behind Logram and B39 perfectly. ("We didn't kill him, so let's tell all the world's criminals how to do it. [cue evil laugh])
Or maybe Lex isn't trying to kill Superman. It's not like any of these crooks actually *have* kryptonite . . . but he's certainly taking advantage of a fear that he knows Superman will certainly have. Poor Clark. Lex just knows how scared he must be already, and is using that for his own cruelty and amusement.

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Even thought Lois didn't make an appearance, she was here. When Clark pondered how she was treating him and how he made it so easy for her to treat him that way, I wanted to slap him upside the head and yell, "Don't make her work so hard to try to like you!" And I loved the line where he pocketed the pocketknife. It struck me funny.
Lol. Me too.

And you're right. Clark needs to shape up, even if it's not entirely his fault that he's the way he is. I don't blame Lois much at all for what's going on. Of course, I don't blame Clark either. Both of them are just in a pretty sorry state right now, but I can't find the heart to blame either of them, really.

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Superman's demeanor seems to have hardened a bit, too. Of course, it's probably a reaction to the trauma he's been through. At least he isn't stuttering any more.
As Superman, no he's not (stuttering). But his flinch at the shot of the gun and the fact that he just *wasn't* able to actually let them hit him over the heart was a weakness that turned his mind dark for a minute there. The memories and fear just kind of took him off guard, even as he tried to fight them.

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And the Fortress? I didn't see that coming, either. You know, I was never all that comfortable with that aspect of the movies, with all the inhuman, cold, emtionless, alien crystal shapes and prismatic effects on screen, but you've managed to warm them up for me. Thank you.
thumbsup To tell you the truth, a big thing that's driving this story is to try to iron out some elements in the older movies and such that I wasn't too content with myself. I'm glad you liked it!

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And now, what is Clark going to learn? And how long will he hide out in this Kryptonian university? Ooh, it's interactive! AI with a superior attitude! Does it have a games folder?
<hands over a flatter, thinner crystal> Kryptonian game-boy. Enjoy.

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I hope you have the next several chapters put together already, or else a certain someone might find little guys carrying spears and chainsaws chasing her around.
laugh laugh Well, I have through chapter . . . 41 or 42 planned through almost all the basic details (of course, you never know what else will come as you're writing). I'm about 2000 words I've written today for chapter 39, and right now it's looking jolly fun (for me, at least:D). I have a couple tests next week and stuff, but if I can write twice as much more than what I've already written today then hopefully I'll be able to get back on schedule and post on Thursday. <crosses fingers>

Thanks for your review Terry!

SmirkyRaven

#39734 03/03/07 12:56 PM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234
Hi Ann! I don't know if I've told you, but did you know that I always particularly wait for your wonderful reviews after each chapter? I love them so much. I feel like not only to you give me the encouragement I need, but by thinking over the things you point out I think you're helping me become a better writer. So thank you!

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I think Clark is selling Superman short. He is a bit in denial about his superhero persona, refusing to see that this superhero is himself. (Though I must admit that Clark may be less in denial about himself than Lois is in denial about Clark.)
It's true! I think one thing he doesn't realize is despite the costume, while he was with Bureau 39 *all* of his pretended facade was stripped away. Even if Lois calls the person she has fallen in love with "Superman" or "Kal-El" instead of Clark, it's the person beneath she loves. Clark is just too stuck thinking that "Oh. If Lois loves Superman then she can't love *me*." It's a mindset he certainly needs to get over. I'm glad you noticed that!

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I'm glad Clark realizes that Lois has some kind of a point. (But I feel very sorry for Clark, too. Like you said, Rachel - being told these things about yourself isn't exactly going to make it easier for you to turn yourself into a better person.)
Yeah. Clark's uncertainty about himself is bad enough as it is. I was going to write more, but I'm stopping there. laugh

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Will she or won't she? As Tank put it a while ago, will Clark Kent be raised up in Lois's eyes when she learns about his Superman identity, or will Superman sink lower in her eyes? That's the sixty-four thousand dollar question.

But what about the pocketknife?

....

The idea that Lois would do anything for Clark Kent is simply wonderful. I want to believe that some part of her realizes that, yes, Clark is the man that she loves, or at least he is an aspect of the man she loves, and she just can't live without him.
Exactly. Lois is confused about Clark. Clark is confused about Lois. Pretty much, it's a big party of confusion that's going on here. laugh Hopefully they'll get everything sorted out soon.

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Sometimes your imagery is breathtaking in the humble simplicity of its originality, and in its perfection.
blush Thanks, Ann! I love the English language, and I think it really has a power and spirit to carry beyond even the physical world. And I'm a bit of a nature-freak, so I have to admit that I am one of those people who like to go sit out in the rain on a summer afternoon and just breathe and try to think of a hundred different ways to describe a single thing I can see, feel, or smell. lol. Kind of strange, but I guess that's the English minor in me. thumbsup

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You manage to give the word "grounded" a whole new meaning.
Lol. I know. I was writing a chapter a few weeks ago and I heard my mom threatening to ground my little brother. I kind of got the chills, especially because he happened to be wearing a Superman shirt at the time . . . eek

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The astronomy buff in me insists on pointing out that the world would look living and amazing from this relatively close up. If you could see the Moon and the Earth simultaneously (i.e., if none of these celestial bodies were located in the direction of the Sun from your vantage point) you would be struck by the visual difference between the Earth and the Moon. The Earth is much bigger than the Moon, but above all it is brimming with vivid colors, while the Moon is a dull, dark, almost monocolored gray.
Ah. Good point. I think I would have fixed that better, if I had had just one more readthrough. I think I was trying to show that if he distanced himself from humanity then the world itself lost that life by his perceptions. Hm. But thanks for pointing that out.

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Beautiful. Beautiful. The only thing that would have made it even more beautiful to me is if Clark had also been aware of Lois out there in space, and realized that he nothing in the universe bound him stronger to a place than the presence of Lois Lane, and his own desperate need to be with her.
That's a good point that I wish I hadn't missed (man, you're really good at this! laugh ) I missed Lois in this chapter, quite honestly. She's almost always my favorite part to write in this story--second only to when Clark and Lois are there together. This chapter was hard for me to write just because she *wasn't* there as much as she usually is, even in Clark's mind. But it had to be written. Next chapter is all hers to make up for her absence in this one. laugh

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Oh, wow. Henderson is smart and sharp-eyed. And poor Clark, the shame of having revealed his fear and weakness in front of Henderson. Well, now it has been confirmed - Kryptonite is real, it can hurt Superman, and it had something to do with Superman's disappearance.
And having people know that probably won't help poor Clark as he's trying to pull back up his "invulnerable alien" shield, or make his job any easier.

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Well, more than half of this chapter remains, but this is where my quoting stops. The rest of the chapter deals with Clark's spaceship and the construction of his Fortress of Solitude in the Arctic, just like we saw it happen in Superman Returns, and in Superman the Movie too, if I remember things correctly. And I've got a confession to make, Rachel. Nowadays, after so many years as a Superman fan, not too much about Superman that doesn't have a lot to do with his relationship with Lois interests me anymore. Oh, it was totally appropriate and perfect to have his Fortress created in your story, too, but... well, the details don't interest me.
Hehee. Don't tell anyone, Ann, but I felt the same way. wink Usually I feel really connected to each chapter--as if I'm right there, living and feeling everything. I know the characters, and every single detail is so important that I try to lay it down with utmost care. I was kind of dissatisfied with the whole style of the last half of this chapter--I guess I'm a bit of a sucker for the emotional relationship stuff myself, and I just didn't lose myself in the last part of this chapter like I usually do. :rolleyes: Oh, well. More for that later.

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Disgusting! Talk about laying out your son's life for him before he has a chance to live it on his own.

.....

Ah, but - that infuriating Jor-el! I have barely stopped fuming at his nonsensical talk about galaxies than I see red at the way he wants to rule his son's life from beyond the grave.
<clears throat> Yes. Issues with Jor-El. Clark definitely already has enough on his plate. Uh. I don't really want to say too much here. . . laugh

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That talk about 38 known galaxis, which is taken straight from Superman Returns, is nonsense, I want to point out. Humanity has a reasonable knowledge about thousands of galaxies, but that doesn't mean that our knowledge about all these galaxies, including our own, isn't still rudimentary. If the Kryptonians, unlike us Earthlings, had such complete knowledge about 38 galaxies (and why only 38? And which ones, I wonder? The Large and Small Magellanic Clouds? The Andromeda Galaxy? The Sculptor Dwarf? Messier 81 and 82? IC 342? Maffei 1? NGC 253? The Virgo cluster galaxies?) then how could they remain so ignorant about the fate of their own planet that they couldn't even save themselves by escaping to one of these other galaxies which they must have had such perfect access to? The 38 known galaxies - what nonsense.
lol. You know what? I was kind of musing about that myself, but I just shrugged and put it in because of the whole movie connection thing. But you're absolutely right. Even one galaxy is quite enough, thank you!

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No matter how figuratively he meant it, it was too literal for me.
And for Clark. laugh

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Gaaaahhh! Jor-el doesn't understand his son at all. Clark is gentle, loving, sincere, altruistic, noble, hopelessly in love with Lois, and a little scared. Clark is not cut out to be anybody's ruler. And Jor-El is dead. Please make Clark understand that he shouldn't listen too much to Jor-el, irrespective of the fact that Jor-El and Lara were the two people who once gave Clark life.
Nature vs. nurture, eh? Well, we'll just see what happens. . . wink

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Fascinating chapter, Rachel, but I hope to see a lot of Lois next time.
Like I said earlier, the next chapter will have plenty of Lois, and that is the last chapter for Clark alone for. . . well, as far as my scanner can see, right now.

Thank you so much for your review, Ann! It really does give lots of food for thought. So with that food, I'm off to write!

"Smirkster" (as MR said. lol. I kind of like it. . . laugh )

#39735 03/03/07 01:02 PM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234
Bakasi wrote:
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I liked the way you described Clark's feelings as he lifted off into the sky. That was very poetic and touching.
Inner poet in me again. I think all of us have tried to imagine what it would be like to fly completely free out there in an open sky with nothing to hold us down. I can't imagine how it would be to be able to feel that and then lose it for a time from such a terrible ordeal as Clark. Poor guy. . .

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The fortress of solitude is really an interesting twist
<rocks on feet and whistles to self> Thanks! laugh

Woody wrote:
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Loved the whole chapter, but I have to point out that every time I think you've laid the best cliffhanger on us that you can, you surprise me. That last line, "He took a deep breath, and began," especially with the line before about all the questions swarming in his brain, is so amazingly "open."
laugh My little sister often says that I am cruel, sadistic, and just as bad as Logram for my general meanness. After finishing a chapter it is not unusual for her to dive at me and attack me, demanding the next chapter despite the fact that I don't even have it written yet. laugh Generally speaking, she makes me feel quite loved, just like you guys do with those chainsawmen and wild-stick men . . . lol.

lol

Okay, I'm getting in a weird mood, so I'd better take off and go write.

Have a great day, everyone, and thank you for your reviews!

Rachel (SmirkyRaven)

#39736 03/03/07 08:17 PM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234
Hack from Nowheresville
Offline
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234
Hello. I'm missing some of my usual reviewers out there . . . <looks around the forum and wields her guilt-stick threateningly>

Hehee. So I'm a bit sick, which means that I spent almost half of the day sitting in bed with my laptop, writing. Which means that I have chapter 39 almost all the way written, and am already almost 1500 words into chapter 40 . . .

I'm giddy.

But that's not the point. The point is . . . review!

<begins prodding with her guilt-stick> <prod, prod>

SmirkyRaven

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