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Blogger
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OP
Blogger
Joined: Sep 2005
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Hi!
What a wonderful chapter! I'm running out of words to say how much I'm enjoying this story. The parts about the "Flash" are so poignant and funny. What a clever way for Clark to get some sunshine. The scene with Lois and the psychologist are great. I like how Melinda (psychologist) finally gets Lois to think about investigating Clark. Lois may finally figure out who Superman is if she starts that investigation. (Although I prefer stories where Clark tells Lois that he is Superman.) I'm thinking your ending is ominous as to the fate of Melinda and her husband and the information Lois told her about Clark. Although I suppose Lex already knows about Clark anyway. Keep up the great writing! I still think you should double major in journalism and math!
Not sure about this post as I usually wait for someone to correctly start the feedback thread. If I posted improperly, someone please correct it for me.
G. Kuhn
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,662 |
No, you did fine, but I hadn't seen yours when I started mine, in case you were wondering about the two threads.
I think, therefore, I get bananas.
When in doubt, think about time travel conundrums. You'll confuse yourself so you can forget what you were in doubt about.
What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence?
I don't know and I don't care one way or the other.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
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“Everyone and their dog with half a sniff for criminality in this city know Lex Luthor,” Bobby said, taking another bite. He saw Lois’s flat look, and he looked at her in disbelief. “You’re not joking. You really don’t know.” He chuckled. “And here we all thought you were dating him because you were onto him—looking for evidence, or something. But you really didn’t know?” Wow, oh wow, somehow I never thought of what bobby and the others would think about Lois & Luthor.
Framework4
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Joined: Feb 2006
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 144 |
The speedster’s head jerked around, and in suddenly he disappeared from where he was and appeared ten feet farther back, his eyes wide in shock. He swore. “Superman! Are you trying to scare me to death, or what?”
Clark tried not to stare at his spandex-clad fellow. He wondered who he was, how he had gotten his powers. Was he another alien, or just a human who had had some mishap change him into what he was? Did he feel silly running around in that suit? Did he have a mother to make it for him? Did anyone know who he was?
Clark swallowed and folded his arms in his Superman pose. “No,” he said, his voice appropriately deep and clear.
The Flash stared back at him with interest. “Nice suit, man,” he said. “Doesn’t the cape cause wind resistance, though, or is it some weird Kryptonian science thing that makes that work all right?” He tilted his head. “You look like crap.”
Clark’s eyes narrowed. Thanks. “I need to talk to you.” Great characterization of the Flash, and a really funny meeting between the two!  Here’s the deal, Supes. If there’s one question I’ve ever grown sick of the past few years it was this: Can I run faster than Superman? So here’s the plan: you race me to Long Beach, California—on foot, no flying—and then we’ll talk, okay?” You couldn´t resist to do that, couldn´t you?  Clark just stood there for a moment, shutting his eyes at his own idiocy. His own stupidity and weakness, which had no doubt caused Lois grief as he slept away happily on an ideal beach in California.
He wanted to go throw himself off the highest cliff he could find and hope the Earth would swallow him. When he does things like that, on the Smallville Forums he´s usually called BDA. Big Dumb Alien! I think sometimes this fits him very well... Melinda’s hand shook, but she drew her notepad towards her and flipped to her most recent conversation with Lois Lane and with a quavering voice read through them—with everything from the reporter’s rants on her naïve partner, to every single word that slipped out of Lois’s mouth about one Lex Luthor Oh, Smirky Raven, you are truly evil!  Please continue soon, I can´t get enough of this stuff!
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Absolutely fascinating chapter as usual, Rachel. I loved the way Lois instructed Clark to talk back to her, only to insist that she must have her own way anyway. I loved how the way she challenged Clark seemed to awaken the old Clark Kent spirit in him: “Uh. Lois, I . . . Is it all right if we keep the window down?”
“Better. Now try again. Firm, Clark. You can do it. I remember the first time I met you and you had some pretty sly comebacks up those rolled-up farmer sleeves. Now, again.”
“Lois,” Clark exclaimed with a slight chuckle, feeling a bit bemused and amused. “You say close the window. I say, ‘No. Let’s keep it open.’ You say, ‘It’s my car.’ I say, ‘But I want the window open.’ You say, ‘Too bad, Smallville. You want fresh air, get out and walk back to Kansas.’ And if I don’t get out myself, then I end up kung-foo-ed out onto the road, probably in front of an oncoming car, and you take over the driver’s seat. So no matter what I say, the window ends up rolled up.”
Clark closed his mouth with a snap, looking surprised at the sudden rush of words.
“What?!” Lois protested. “I would not—!” She caught sight of Clark’s nervous and quickly-fading half-grin and cut off with a glare, but her lip curled in the slightest smile nonetheless, which she quickly hid. She grunted, but she had a satisfied air about her. “I guess that’s the best you’ve got, Smallville. Now roll up the window.” Sorry it's a long quote, but I just love it. Notice how Clark isn't stuttering at all. And notice how both of them are smiling because of this exchange. In fact, Clark does more than smile: Clark felt flustered from the exchange, but not necessarily in a bad way.
In fact, he felt like laughing. So he did. A slight, soft chuckle, which Lois cut off with a sharp glare as she pulled herself fully back into her seat. Awww....<happy sigh> Of course, Lois is still absolutely unable to take Clark seriously. Big mistake, Lois. Clark shifted, glancing over to the back passenger side of the car, and his brow furrowed as his eyes stopped on something in the darkness. He paused his search, however, to cover a broad yawn. Lois fought the urge to roll her eyes. It wasn’t as if he could see anything over there that she missed.
“I hope you didn’t take some of my cake again, Lois.”
The name was right at her elbow, and Lois jumped and nearly dropped the food on her lap all over the floor.
She turned furiously to Bobby Bigmouth, where he was sitting quite comfortably in the back seat of the car.
“How did you get back there?” Lois demanded, her heart going a mile a minute. Clark didn’t even seem flustered in the slightest, curse him. Oh, Lois. It's such a big mistake not to listen to Clark: “Everyone and their dog with half a sniff for criminality in this city know Lex Luthor,” Bobby said, taking another bite. He saw Lois’s flat look, and he looked at her in disbelief. “You’re not joking. You really don’t know.” He chuckled. “And here we all thought you were dating him because you were onto him—looking for evidence, or something. But you really didn’t know?” The last sentence was said in something as close to glee that Lois had ever heard in the snitch’s voice.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lois demanded, fire in her eyes.
Bobby’s humor vanished at the glare and he swallowed, but this time it wasn’t because of his food. “Well, Kent knew. I figured he’d tell you.” He turned an accusatory glare on Clark. “Why didn’t you tell her, heh?” Why, eh? Why didn't you listen to him, Lois? Maybe because there is only one man who is on your mind these days: “Superman? Yes,” Lois said, sitting back. “I don’t know why he’s avoiding people, but…it could be him. Maybe no one mentioned any flying, but if he was going so fast they could barely see him, how could they tell?” She looked out the window. “I…I’m worried about him, Clark.”
Clark felt his heart clench.
Lois, I’m here. I’m Superman.
He had to tell her. He wouldn’t even wait for lunch, like he was planning on doing. They were alone now, and the streets around this part of Metropolis weren’t very frequented, so if Lois did decide to throw him out of the car, hopefully he wouldn’t be hit by an oncoming car. He swallowed. “L-Lois—”
“Oh. Here it is. Park right there, Clark.”
Clark gritted his teeth and obeyed. He pulled the car into park and turned it off, but Lois had already undone her seat belt and was out of the car.
How was it that he just couldn’t seem to keep up with her, with or without his superpowers?
He sighed and opened the door, looking around and extending his hearing in case anyone was coming. The street seemed almost deserted. “Lois, I really need to talk to you…”
Lois stepped into the alleyway and looked around as if trying to x-ray through the walls and ground. “There’s got to be something here, Clark.” And she keeps dismissing him. She keeps not listening to him. Oh, Lois. What is it about you that makes it so impossible for you to listen to Clark? Could it be that Clark is the very symbol of how you are automatically always right when you are with him? Like when you argued about whether the car window should be open or closed. Whatever argument Clark was going to throw at you, the window was going to stay closed. Is that part of what you like about being with Clark? Because you don't have to take him seriously? Because with him you are always right and he is always wrong? How strange, the way we slip into habits. And how strange the way we subtly change the roles we play, our personalities, when we are with different people. Lois is always Mad Dog Lane, of course. But she would never dismiss Bobby Bigmouth, for example, the way she dismisses Clark Kent. Is Clark's very submissiveness around her an ego-booster that she needs? Is that why she can't let the two of them be partners on any other terms than this: she is on top, and he is the naïve hack from Nowheresville? That part with the Flash - I very much felt how the Flash is a young kid, with little consideration for the pain, worries and injuries of others. I don't mean to say that the Flash is a bad kid - I'm just saying that he is a kid, flush with his own feeling of young omnipotence, and he definitely can't help showing off. But that was not what Clark needed right now. Oh, but it was really nice of the Flash to accept responsibility for the injuries that Superman had caused that night. Clark gave him a stern look. “I was hoping that you might keep quiet about the fact that it wasn’t you doing the rescuing last night. I have many enemies, and if it were known that I was . . . out of commission for so long, it would make my job quite a bit harder.”
He was Superman. He was a symbol of strength, infallibility, and constancy. He couldn’t disappoint those who believed in him. I found this totally fascinating. Lois has been idolizing Superman too much, putting him on a pedestal of perfection (and the fact that she knows first hand that Superman is flawed and human doesn't do anything to really change her mind about his near godhood). But here Clark is trying to put Superman on the same pedestal. He really is thinking of Sueprman as a symbol of infallibility. That's not a small thing to try to live up to, and to, one way or another, believe of yourself. Is that why Lois idolizes Superman? Because she knows that, whatever his flaws, he is striving for perfection? Clark sighed, uncurling his fingers painfully and looking down at the tender bruise on his palm. The bright sun felt like a balm, and with a careful scan he sat down on the sand and lay back, soaking up as much as he could.
He was going to enjoy it, just for a few minutes, and then head back to Metropolis.
-----------------------------------------
He was going to enjoy it, just for a few minutes, and then head back to Metropolis.
Clark woke up with that thought still repeating lazily through his mind. He didn’t open his eyes, but drifted in a state of half-sleep and contentment. The sound of the waves beat softly through his mind like a mental massage—working out the kinks and cramps and fears—and the sunlight cuddled against him like a warm blanket.
He felt so good. There was no pain, no soreness, no tiredness. Just lovely, perfect, gentle comfort.
He smiled and rolled over, reaching a hand for his pillow only to find…
A rock?
What the--? I love how you write this. I could so totally sympathize with Clark's overwhelming need to lie down and sleep in the healing rays of the sun. Of course he would fall asleep, and sleep for hours, oblivious of Lois, whom he had left stranded in Metropolis. With that thought, he was already far away from California and racing towards Metropolis. As he ran, the last vestiges of sleep stripped away from his mind like old wallpaper.
He ran east, and watched as the sun moved from early afternoon somewhere over his head to the back of his head, and it kept sinking later into the afternoon, taking his heart with it. Since it is afternoon and Clark is running west, he is actually running into the night. There is something literally chilling about this. He paid the taxi driver without a word and slipped out of the taxi. He looked up at the height of The Daily Planet building, shrinking under its shadow.
Guilt.
He had felt guilt before. Guilt for his secret. Guilt for trying to hide. Guilt for not being able to do all he should have been able to do. Guilt of failure, when all he could do was just not enough. Oh, poor, poor Clark. Imagine being so good, so sincere, so hard-working - and being rewarded with massive feelings of guilt. But maybe that is how it works? People who aren't trying to be good don't feel guilty. People who have little regard for others don't blame themselves. We should probably stick with the guilty people. They are the considerate ones. Perry nodded. “Good.” He leaned back. “Lois has been having a hard time, Kent, though she’d rather go to the dogs than admit it. I don’t need to tell you that. I think you understand well enough. Now I don’t know what happened today, but Lois . . . I’ve never seen her as bad as this, and that’s saying something. But you’ve stayed with her this long, so I’d rather not break up my best reporting team, if I can help it.”
“No! You don’t need to do that!” Clark said. “I . . . something just happened, Perry. I’ll tell Lois about it, and . . . .Where is she?”
“Gone,” Perry gruffed. “Had an appointment. Said she wasn’t coming back in today, either.” He tilted his head and looked at Clark closely. “Listen, son. Are you doing all right? You’ve been looking a bit roughed up the past couple days yourself.” Poor Lois and poor Clark. How dare the man make her worry? How dare he leave her like that? How dare he make her break down into tears of panic and fear as she searched the alley and street—calling his name in desperation? How dare he make her see those terrifying white walls, and believe that he may have been taken, just like before? How dare he make Lois Lane’s heart rip into shreds before she realized that the only explanation was one of Clark Kent’s famed disappearances?
How could her heart go from so broken and terrified and turn so quickly into a sheet of jagged ice? I feel so sorry for Lois here. I really do. And I'm so delighted and thoroughly impressed by your ability to write Lois's basic responses to Clark Kent - her unacknowledged love for him, her dependence of him, and her fury at him, which serves as an outlet of all sorts of chaotic feelings that she wouldn't know how to handle otherwise, I think. You know, Rachel, they say that when men are sad and feel like crying, they blow their tops and get furious instead. Somehow that is how Lois handles her own terrible sadness. And like I said, Clark is such a perfect target for her fury. Clark is the man she can yell at and despise, because he loves her anyway. Which is why the though of losing him is so utterly devastating to her. “You know the worst of it?” Lois said, her voice softer and tighter, but no less fierce. “He’s supposed to be my friend. It was good to have him back—after everything. He’s been gone for the past couple weeks, and he came back on Friday, and though it’s been busy . . . for the first time since Bureau 39 I . . . I could forget about things. I . . . I could forget. I didn’t r-really think about it, but . . . he had been caught by Bureau 39 too, you know, and . . . though I didn’t realize it, it made me feel . . . less alone.” Her voice ended in a whisper that sounded awfully close to tears. But she took a deep breath and steeled herself. Lois was unable to really wonder about how Clark was feeling after being captured by Bureau 39. Because the rules she has established for their socializing don't allow her to worry about him, or to try to support him. She has allowed him to be just... a comfortable presence in the background, a natural resource of comfort that she has been allowed to take for granted. And she has been feeling better thanks to him. And she hasn't had to feel grateful to him because of it. The very thought that something might have happened to Superman made her feel sick.
The thought of what had happened to Superman made her sick. What was he going through? Lois was scarred enough, but Superman had gone through so much more.
They needed each other, but he was just too stubborn to see it. Oh, how unbelievably ironic this is. Lois so needs Clark, but she is much too stubborn to see it. I love how she thinks of herself as super-Lois, crusading reporter bristling like a porcupine and pushing everyone away as she is fighting for justice and for her equally lonely hero: And he was so alone—as alone as Lois felt, day after day as she attacked lead after lead with the fearless super-Lois mask in place and bristles up to make sure no one came too close. So Lois takes Clark for granted, while she pines for Superman. Then again - look how she reacts when someone makes her realize that she could lose Clark, too.... “So you . . . don’t like your partner? Maybe you should talk to Perry and he would split you up.”
A lance of panic struck right through Lois’s heart. “No!” she said before she even thought about it. She blinked. “I—I mean . . . ” I can feel her absolute panic at the thought of losing Clark. I don't think she herself was aware of how much that thought would scare her. Because... His awkward, shy smile. His nervous jokes. That way he looked at her, as if she were just the greatest thing in the world. How he could look so much like a neglected puppy that Lois’s mad-dog composure was threatened every time he bit his lip or ran his hand through his hair, just like that . . . Lois winced. “He’s been trying to tell me something about someone for months about . . . about someone I was dating and . . . I thought I knew and . . . I didn’t listen to him, and now . . . well, it got us both in a lot of trouble. So I was trying to be nice—to make it up to him, you know?” –and it had been surprisingly easy to be nice to the naïve, stuttering farm boy, once she had let her guard down a bit— “And then he goes and shuts the door in my face. Worse, actually. I mean, one minute he seems like one of the most honest, intelligent, selfless people I’ve met and the next . . . he’s bumbling, dense, and goes off and pulls something like this! I . . . I just can’t figure it out. I can’t figure him out.”
Oh, how she loathed him. She hated him. He had hurt her, and she neverwanted to see him again.
But if she never saw him again, there would be no more teasing remarks, no more sympathetic ear to rant to when something got on her nerves. Clark always was such a good listener, Lois realized, and he paid attention, too, except when he got that annoying look on his face that meant that he was about to come up with some weak excuse and disappear with hardly a warning . . . I love Lois's verbal and mental babbling, her chaotic thought processes. Lois felt a bit ill. Was that why he kept leaving her? Was she really that awful to be around? She knew she got carried away, sometimes, and sometimes she just got so frustrated—with him or the world in general—that she just didn’t think before opening her mouth.
Was she really that bad? Is that why Superman had left her? Is that why her parents had left her? Was she doomed to chase away every single person who tried to come closer into her life? And suddenly she realizes that the bad things that happen to her may be her own fault. That she could be the one pushing people away. That she might have pushed Clark away. That she might have pushed Superman away? But not Clark. Not Clark. But Clark cared for her. It was part of his naïve air—that so-obvious crush on her that he tried to hide, though he never really succeeded. That slight awe, whenever she walked into the room, and that clean, innocent pain he felt whenever she hit a cord—there was no bitterness in his anger. He never seemed to hold anything against her. She probably could throw him out into the path of an oncoming truck and the farm boy would probably find some way to blame himself . . . He loves her. But she doesn't understand him, and she can't understand how she can understand the things she does understand about him after all: Lois frowned suddenly. How did she know all this? Now that she stopped and looked back over her thoughts, she felt ridiculous. She didn’t know Clark that well, and the longer she knew him the less she felt she understood him.
“He’s so simple. There’s nothing there underneath his honest-to-goodness, earnest farm boy spirit. But then. . . he . . . he just doesn’t make sense,” Lois concluded aloud. “Then perhaps your subconscious mind is trying to tell you something.”
Lois gave her an odd look. “About Kent? Right. What, that he’s an undercover crime lord? Or maybe that he doubles as a super hero in his spare hours?”
Melinda chuckled at that. The idea was, of course, ridiculous. “Of course not. Oh, how unbelievably ironic this is. Of course Clark isn't a spandex-clad super hero in his spare hours, right, Lois? But perhaps there’s more to him that you give him credit for, Lois.”
Lois rolled her eyes, sitting back in the chair and folding her arms. “Like what?”
“I don’t know. But you’re an investigative reporter. So investigate!” Melinda said.
Lois looked at her and shook her head. “For all the good it will do, researching things like cows and all,” Oh, Lois. The way you keep dismissing Clark. Ah, but - then she decides to investigate Clark after all! Yay! I would just love it if Lois were to discover on her own that Clark is Superman. Of course, someone else is likely to beat her to the discovery of that secret. It was chillingly, horribly awful how Luthor blackmailed Melinda into telling him everything that Lois had revealed to her. Unlike Lois, Lex has no special reason to be extremely dismissive of Clark. Because of Lex's blackmail, Lois could as well have told Lex everything about the weird behaviour of her partner - and Lex is probably going to realize right away that Clark is Superman. Oh, horror. You know, Rachel, that if you make this too horrible, I won't be able to read it. Ann
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 365 |
Common sense dictates that I shouldn't even be on the Internet, let alone reading a fanfic right now, given how absolutely swamped-to-the-eyeballs I am. And here I am, also taking time out to leave a review. Needless to say, Common sense isn't speaking to me anymore. But it's such a wet blanket anyway that I'll take that as a bonus. Y'know, I'm torn. I'm slowly being tortured o pieces by this story, biting my nails and yelling futilely at the monitor for Clark to come clean with Lois. In fact, I'm convinced I am developing a medical condition due to the sheer amount of nerve-racking tension I have endured through the course of this story. I keep telling myself, if I want to yell futilely at fictional characters about the way they conduct their relationships, I should just rent Smallville Season five and sit down with a bucket of pop corn. At least it has great soundtracks. (Smallville, not the pop-corn.) But then I think, the sooner the Grande Revelation will take place, the sooner Darkest Dreams will probably end. And a world wherein my days of jumping up and down squeeing whenever I see another update are no more, is too depressing an idea for me to contemplate. *sigh* It seems I have unwittingly grabbed a tiger by the tail here. On a more review-like note, you have no idea how hard I was laughing at this: “Spit it out, Clark.” She frowned. “You know your problem? You think too much. You need to open your mouth and just say it. Maybe then you wouldn’t trip over your tongue so much, because you won’t be obsessing that whatever you’re going to say won’t come out wrong. It’s better to ask forgiveness than permission.”
Clark’s lip quirked. If there was ever a quote that fit Lois Lane, it certainly was that. But she was watching him—waiting for a response. He bit his lip.
“Clark…”
“I…I don’t know what to say, Lois,” Clark muttered.
“Roll down that window!” Lois snapped. Clark gave her a confused look.
“What?”
“Do it!”
“L-Lois…”
“Now, Clark.”
Lois’s tone was deadly, and so Clark complied, albeit somewhat hesitantly.
“Now, Clark. Roll up the window,” she said, as if talking to a schoolboy.
Clark looked at her as if she were mad, then started to obey.
“NO! Stop. Stop stop stop!” Lois ordered. Clark froze, and consequentially almost hit into a breaking car in front of them, causing Lois to give a short shriek. “Careful! Watch the road! Clark, what’s the matter with you!?”
“S-sorry.”
Lois rolled her eyes, looking to heaven. There was a moment’s pause, then Lois folded her arms and stared at him. “Now Clark. I’m going to tell you to roll up the window. Now, you don’t want to roll up the window, so you’re going to tell me so. Okay? So, say something.”
Clark’s brow furrowed. Uh . . .
What was he supposed to say? The silence lengthened, and he could feel Lois’s eyes on him even while he kept his own on the road.
“Uh. Lois, I . . . Is it all right if we keep the window down?”
“Better. Now try again. Firm, Clark. You can do it. I remember the first time I met you and you had some pretty sly comebacks up those rolled-up farmer sleeves. Now, again.”
“Lois,” Clark exclaimed with a slight chuckle, feeling a bit bemused and amused. “You say close the window. I say, ‘No. Let’s keep it open.’ You say, ‘It’s my car.’ I say, ‘But I want the window open.’ You say, ‘Too bad, Smallville. You want fresh air, get out and walk back to Kansas.’ And if I don’t get out myself, then I end up kung-foo-ed out onto the road, probably in front of an oncoming car, and you take over the driver’s seat. So no matter what I say, the window ends up rolled up.”
Clark closed his mouth with a snap, looking surprised at the sudden rush of words.
“What?!” Lois protested. “I would not—!” She caught sight of Clark’s nervous and quickly-fading half-grin and cut off with a glare, but her lip curled in the slightest smile nonetheless, which she quickly hid. She grunted, but she had a satisfied air about her. “I guess that’s the best you’ve got, Smallville. Now roll up the window.”
Clark lifted his eyebrows innocently, glad she hadn’t exploded on him. “No.”
Lois’s contentment vanished. “Now, Clark,” she said dangerously.
Clark fiddled with the idea of leaving the window down, but even as he hesitated, Lois set her precious burden of food aside and practically dove across him to start rolling up the window herself. She knocked his arm, causing the car to swerve slightly before he quickly adjusted.
“L-Lo-is!”
“C-Cla-ark!” Lois mocked back. It took her a minute to roll up the window, and then she climbed back onto her seat, straightening her work suit as she tightened her seatbelt and picked up the doggy bags of food again. Clark felt flustered from the exchange, but not necessarily in a bad way.
In fact, he felt like laughing. So he did. A slight, soft chuckle, which Lois cut off with a sharp glare as she pulled herself fully back into her seat.
Lois pushed her hair back with a sigh and drew the cartons of food back onto her lap. “There. You’ve got to do it at the right time, Clark. Protesting at the wrong time just sounds…immature.”
Clark’s mouth curled in a tentative smile. He decided it was just not worth the trouble to try to figure out this side of Lois Lane. “Right, Lois,” he agreed. It was safer that way.  Top that, Mary Potts! I also couldn't help noticing how brilliantly you portrayed how incandescently angry Lois had been through the reactions of the people who'd been around her.  And this: BANG!
Melinda jumped at the loud, unmistakable pop of a gun firing on the other side of the line.
“What was that!? Why are you shooting?” she screamed, frantic.
“Oh, one of the guns just accidentally went off, I’m afraid. It looks like your husband won’t be walking for some time, my dear.”
Melinda swore, tears breaking onto her cheeks. “Stop! Stop it!”
“How long does it take a man to bleed to death from a gunshot wound like that? Oh, dear. That does not look pleasant. If you want to see your husband alive, Mrs. Helmerson, you’d better start talking. Fast.”
“N-no,” Melinda’s voice quivered.
BANG!
Melinda screamed.
“Stop! Okay! I’ll talk! I’ll talk!” Her legs went weak beneath her, and she sank to the floor, clutching the phone to her ear as she wept. “Don’t hurt him. Please. Please!”
“He’ll be just fine, if you cooperate. Now, tell us what she said.”
Melinda’s hand shook, but she drew her notepad towards her and flipped to her most recent conversation with Lois Lane and with a quavering voice read through them—with everything from the reporter’s rants on her naïve partner, to every single word that slipped out of Lois’s mouth about one Lex Luthor. Sometimes, I think there should be some sort of law against first-timers writing stuff this brilliant. It doesn't seem fair to the majority of prolific plodders who are stuck in the bland land of persistent mediocrity.
“Is he dead, Lois?”
“No! But I was really mad and I wanted to kick him between the legs and pull his nose off and put out his eyes with a freshly sharpened pencil and disembowel him with a dull letter opener and strangle him with his own intestines but I stopped myself just in time!”
- Further Down The Road by Terry Leatherwood.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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*waves* I'm still here and adoring it! ^_^ I liked how they were starting to interact with each other and Lois was starting to care about Clark. I fear Clark blew it though.  Also, I knew something would go wrong with the therapist! Grrrr!! At least it wasn't the therapists fault though. Great work as always!
Angry Clark: CLARK SMASH!
Lois: Ork!
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 365
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 365 |
Just wondering...was the Flash encounter inspired by the fourth season Smallville episode "Run", where Clark meets Bart Allen for the first time? There are certain similarities, I notice.
“Is he dead, Lois?”
“No! But I was really mad and I wanted to kick him between the legs and pull his nose off and put out his eyes with a freshly sharpened pencil and disembowel him with a dull letter opener and strangle him with his own intestines but I stopped myself just in time!”
- Further Down The Road by Terry Leatherwood.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
Rachel, I've also run out of superlatives. I'm glad Clark feels better, and I'm glad he's stuttering less. I'm glad Lois is starting to give him the time of day (although she may clock him for leaving her the next time she sees him). And I'm glad that their relationship seems to be moving forward, even if it's in fits and starts.
But poor Melinda! I wonder if Luthor (assuming that was him on the phone) actually had her husband in the room with him, or was it all a huge bluff? After all, she didn't hear anyone react to being shot. Although Luthor would certainly shoot a hostage if he thought it would get him what he wanted.
You've managed to turn the screws once again, Rachel, and with great skill. Please don't let us linger in darkness without dreams for very long. This is definitely one of the better stories I've seen for quite some time.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,662
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,662 |
I think she can, but I certainly hope she takes up the challenge. More humor all around. Again, You weave the Smirky and the Raven together so fluently. Just know, there's a limit to how much angst some people can take before they experience a psychotic break, and I think you might be entering the danger zone. That's a good thing, by the way.
I think, therefore, I get bananas.
When in doubt, think about time travel conundrums. You'll confuse yourself so you can forget what you were in doubt about.
What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence?
I don't know and I don't care one way or the other.
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234 |
Eh . . . I'm working on homework right now so I don't have time for a full review of reviews or whatever, but I just had to ask . . .
Who is Mary Potts?
[edit] Never mind! You meant the Queen of Capes. lol. I just knew her by another name. lol.
I'm glad you liked the humor. It was definitely a bit different and I was a bit nervous about it, but it had written itself before I even realized what it was all about.
Thanks for the reviews! I'll see if I can come back for a better response to you guys before my next chapter. Homework is going crazy, and I definitely can't wait to get this next chapter out!
SmirkyRaven
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234 |
Gah. Sorry about the madness and silence on this end, people. This next chapter is literally right off the press--the last 2000 words have been written in the last 2 hours, so I hope everything is all right.
So, yeah. I'm just doing a final read through, so it should be up in about 15-20 minutes . . .
SmirkyRaven
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
The sunlight had poked its face through the clouds for the moment and was shining down into the streets. Clark had the window down and rested his arm casually on the door as the wind ruffled his hair. Finally, you gave the poor man some sun! The window fight was cute and funny. I'm glad that side of Clark (and Lois) is starting to come back. Lois reached under her chair and pulled out the second massive piece of cake that she had been harboring there. Be Prepared. Now who's the Scout? “Everyone and their dog with half a sniff for criminality in this city know Lex Luthor,” Bobby said, taking another bite. He saw Lois’s flat look, and he looked at her in disbelief. “You’re not joking. You really don’t know.” He chuckled. “And here we all thought you were dating him because you were onto him—looking for evidence, or something. But you really didn’t know?” The last sentence was said in something as close to glee that Lois had ever heard in the snitch’s voice.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lois demanded, fire in her eyes.
Bobby’s humor vanished at the glare and he swallowed, but this time it wasn’t because of his food. “Well, Kent knew. I figured he’d tell you.” He turned an accusatory glare on Clark. “Why didn’t you tell her, heh?” Lois so deserved this! Clark leaped onto the rooftop of the building beside the alley I noticed he did this earlier, too. Forgive me if I'm being stupid, but how does he do this if he can't fly? I never heard that he could jump especially well. He had the car keys to the rental car. LOL! Boy, you are so dead. “But then he left me,” she said, her voice growing cold again. Just like he must have left Superman. He was too caught up in his own business—whatever it was. Too caught up in his own life to worry about how Superman had needed his friendship—or how much it would affect Lois if he left her there without a word. Oh, nonononono. This is bad. “So you . . . don’t like your partner? Maybe you should talk to Perry and he would split you up.”
A lance of panic struck right through Lois’s heart. “No!” she said before she even thought about it. Well, maybe not so bad after all. So I was trying to be nice—to make it up to him, you know? Ha! That was nice, Lois? Melinda’s hand shook, but she drew her notepad towards her and flipped to her most recent conversation with Lois Lane and with a quavering voice read through them—with everything from the reporter’s rants on her naïve partner, to every single word that slipped out of Lois’s mouth about one Lex Luthor. OMG. You know, Smirky, I've seen your picture, and you're such a pretty, sweet looking lady. Where did this evil, dark side come from????
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234 |
Hello again! <waves>  I noticed he did this earlier, too. Forgive me if I'm being stupid, but how does he do this if he can't fly? I never heard that he could jump especially well. Well, in the ancient comics and stuff they used to say he could "leap entire buildings in a single bound," but that's kind of a moot point now. I always figured that jumping would kind of be a part of his strength. Flying is a little more advanced power, where he's simply able to *step* out of gravity and just . . . float . . . <dreamy smile> lol. I love your "this is so bad," "okay, maybe not so bad," reactions. But it really is kind of like ping pong right now, isn't it. They both need a good knock over the head! OMG. You know, Smirky, I've seen your picture, and you're such a pretty, sweet looking lady. Where did this evil, dark side come from???? ...and you're asking me this just *now*?  Hehehee. Thanks for your review, MrsMosley! SmirkyRaven
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 52
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 52 |
Shelley
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763 |
I read a bunch of chapters last night, but couldn't keep up with the FDK. I thought I'd save that for today or you would have read FDK that would have just said "yeah!" "WOW!" or a mess of typos because I'd be spinning in my chair. I was tired and incoherent, but SOOO happy that I was reading this stuff. Hopefully I'm step above goofiness this time round. A super-sized drink, complete with miniature, zooming Supermen plastered onto the side of the massive cup. I'm not even done the first paragraph and I'm smitten with a sentence. “Roll up that window, Smallville!” Lois snapped. The whole conversation about the window was wonderful. Their mood was lifted. I thought they were going to finally get into a better place with one another, but such an evil wonderful writer you are you throw another wrench into the works. AHHHHH I can't believe Clark just disappeared like that on her! The lazy sleep he had in the California sun had me dozing off (it wasn't the late hour). I had a bad feeling about Melinda, who wouldn't! Lois always ends up with a baddie (or a person with their arm twisted behind their back) in a corner where she should expect comfort. Good twist where the Boss gets more info. Making the Boss/Lex seem even more evil and frightening b/c of his wealth of knowledge makes we fidget in my chair even more! Excellent. I feel really bad for Melinda and her husband. ACK. Ah man. I loved this chapter so much it made my head explode...oh sorry no, I'm just sick with a head cold. Gotta go lay down and cheer on the Habs. I'll catch up on my FDK later....sorry!
I've converted to lurk-ism... hopefully only temporary.
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