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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 365 |
SMIRKYEEEE!!!!  <runs through the houes screaming> <runs off to read>
“Is he dead, Lois?”
“No! But I was really mad and I wanted to kick him between the legs and pull his nose off and put out his eyes with a freshly sharpened pencil and disembowel him with a dull letter opener and strangle him with his own intestines but I stopped myself just in time!”
- Further Down The Road by Terry Leatherwood.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: May 2005
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I love how you swing back and forth between lois being ready to listen and Clark not wanting to tell her to Clark trying to set up a meeting to tell her and Lois ignoring what he is trying to say. Do let her find out so Clark can be comforted.
I think, therefore, I get bananas.
When in doubt, think about time travel conundrums. You'll confuse yourself so you can forget what you were in doubt about.
What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence?
I don't know and I don't care one way or the other.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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![[Linked Image]](http://photobucket.com/albums/v295/laurents/th_hatchet.gif) What? <DJ asks innocently>  Hey, at least it's not the chainsaws! Good part. Poor Clark... Get that boy some sunshine and a friendly listening ear!!! -- DJ
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2006
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I'm going to assume the fact that Lex is a little green and Clark is actually getting physically ill in his presense is due to kryptonite? :rolleyes: Get the boy a sun lamp. 
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2006
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 </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> I love how you swing back and forth between lois being ready to listen and Clark not wanting to tell her to Clark trying to set up a meeting to tell her and Lois ignoring what he is trying to say. Do let her find out so Clark can be comforted. It's coming. Soon. Relatively soon, that is...  Whoa, MetroRhodes! Where in the world do you *get* those things?! Good part. Poor Clark... Get that boy some sunshine and a friendly listening ear!!! Will do. <hastens to obey> I'm going to assume the fact that Lex is a little green and Clark is actually getting physically ill in his presense is due to kryptonite? I love dropping little things and seeing what people pick up and how they figure different details to mean. Anyway, we'll see, eh? Thanks for your reviews, guys. It's always nice to know I can count on my favorite FoLCs to review quick and nice. It really makes me feel better than just sitting here and pushing refresh again and again and again... Yes, I am pitiful. But there you are. So far, it is your four reviews that has fed the first 3000 words of the next chapter. Congratulations. You know, if some other people step forward like you, I might even be able to post early...possibly... <walks off humming> SmirkyRaven
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Columnist
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Columnist
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He would trust her, even with his own soul. And then when she called for him at night, he could come. He wouldn’t have to hide any more.
And maybe . . .
Maybe she’d just look at him, and take his hand and draw him close and murmur his name. Clark.
And he wouldn’t be alone anymore.  How sad! Poor Clark. “Do you mind, Kent? Or in small towns do they not have a word for ‘private conversations’?”
Clark flushed and adjusted his glasses. “I’m . . . s-sorry, Lois.”
The apology just made Lois’s eyes narrow further. She was practically shooting daggers at him.
“Go get me some coffee. No cream, one sugar,” Lois ordered. I’m beginning to question his reasons for wanting to be with her. She treats him like a dog. I’m a big Lois fan, but I must confess, that in this part, Lois is making me hate her.  “You know, what if Lex Luthor was the Boss behind Bureau 39? The man certainly has the money and means, and money in the underground means power. It probably wouldn’t have been too hard for him to slip those men in jail a little poison. And if you were right about him and all the other criminal activities you think he’s been up to, then he certainly has motive to support a group against Superman.” They don’t realize that they are in the same book, let alone the same page. “Right,” Lois said, flipping through her papers. “I knew you couldn’t have figured something out that I didn’t if we were on a level playing field. I mean, you had to have more information than I did, right? And you might have good instincts, but you just don’t have as much experience as I do. I wouldn’t miss something this big that was right under my nose.” Maybe if your nose wasn’t so high in the air you wouldn’t miss the fact that your beloved hero is sitting right in front of you. “Why didn’t he tell me, if he knew? I would have believed him. ”  That #&%#@*!*&!!!!!! Come on, let me at her! (I need one of DJ's chainsaws!) “Are you limping?”
Clark stiffened slightly, and the limp that had been becoming more pronounced vanished. He flushed. “Uh…well…It’s really okay, Lois.”
“What did you do?”
Clark swallowed. “I went running last night. I guess I…took it a little too hard.”
Lois gave him an odd look. “Running, Kent? Somehow I just can’t picture that.” I guess Lois only takes the blinders off for special occasions, huh? Sorry if I'm a little too harsh on Lois. I guess you can say that I had a bad day and am taking my frustration out on a fictional character. But hey, if this story is driving me to frustration then you know you're doing something right! Keep up the good work! I'm hooked!
Silence is golden.
Duct tape is silver.
~Saw it on a T-Shirt.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,018 |
Luthor looked a bit green. Being around Luthor made [Clark] feel physically ill. His hands were shaking slightly as he walked towards the coffeemakers, and his brow was slightly damp from sweat., [Clark's] speed had seemed considerably slower, and his arm and leg throbbed unpleasantly. He had been forced to catch the bullets of robbers to save one of the cops, and the contact of the bullet had actually hurt. It is clear that Luthor is using kryptonite to treat his own cancer. But you have something up your sleeve. As I see it either Luthor will figure out that Clark is Superman due to Clark's reaction to the kryptonite radiation he, Luthor, is steeped in or Lois will figure it out. Or perhaps both. Hmm, Luthor figures it out and leads a kidnapping of Kent in order to continue using him to save Luthor's life. While this is going on you will have Lois figure it out be spending much of the night mad at Clark only to discover the next morning that Clark is missing. Because she believes/knows Clark is Superman and that Luthor is the "Boss" thus she knows what has happen to Clark and where to go to begin rescuing him. But not being able to do it alone she has to have someone help. Enter the Primaries, the only force that Lois might be, questionable but maybe, able and willing to trust. Nightfall is still in the future. This story takes place shortly (very shortly) after The Green Glow of Home. It will prove the Primaries have made the right choice. At some point in this tale Lois has to face facts, she has to see Clark as more than just a minor spear carrier. The way she made the leap with Luthor, she can do it with Clark. Overall I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this story.
Framework4
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
God, you're torturing me!!!
It's been a really torturous night, you know. First Grey's Anatomy, and now this. More specifically, Clark is torturing me. I know he's scared to the days end, but he *has to tell Lois* . They. need. to. sit. down. and. talk.
Meanwhile, I'm glad Clark is doing some Super stuff!
Lex is creepy, as usual. I doubt he'll give up on Lois that easily. I think it's kind of crummy on Lois' part to dump on Clark and accuse him of not having good intuition, but what can you do, that's Lois for you.
I think that's the end of my disjointed thoughts for now!
JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,514 Likes: 29 |
It's never too dark to be cool. 
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Smirky,
I am ashamed that I've read all 35 parts and this is the first time that I've left feedback. Sorry about that.
You have me on tenterhooks here! Every time there is a new part, I rush to read it, and then every time I am left wanting more.
More! Please! Sooner rather than later, okay?
Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Joined: Feb 2006
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 144 |
He limped over to his bed, running his hand through his hair, and then jumped back lightly onto his sheets before turning over to look at the ceiling. For kicks, he took a breath and tried to fly. How much longer are you going to keep him grounded? 
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 77 |
I love this story! Poor Clark. Lois isn't really listening to him. And Lex having kryptonite treatments- creepy.
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment. ~Robert Benchley
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 136 |
Hey Smirky  Just wanted to check in and say how much I'm enjoying this story. Lovely plot (at least, I hope it turns out so!) and characterisation, and beautiful language. I love the previous part in which Clark realised that he doesn't need to be able to fly to be Superman. It's part of Clark's healing, to be able to realise and do this -- his soul needs healing as much as his body does. And I love how, in this part, Lois is the only one who realises that it wasn't the Flash doing all those rescues  I'm with the people who think that Lex is dosing himself with kryptonite, and the experimentation on Superman was related to this. Here's hoping that the return of Superman and the Big Revelation aren't far away! -- Jude
"Some prices are just too high, no matter how much you may want the prize. The one thing you can't trade for your heart's desire is your heart."
--Lois McMaster Bujold, "Memory", 1996
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Maybe she’d just look at him, and take his hand and draw him close and murmur his name. Clark.
And he wouldn’t be alone anymore. Aw, that part melted me.  Poor Clark. Why can't I just hug him and take away all his pain?? *Sigh* I'll be patient and not complain about Clark needing to tell Lois anymore. I trust you to get us through this story okay . Another great part. Hope to see more soon! Jessi
"Lois Lane is Clark Kent's Superman." - Brian Miller
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Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Have any of you read The Gospel According to Mark? I find this gospel so fascinating, because Jesus is so human in it, so fallible. For example, when he tries to cure a blind man, he has to try twice before he succeeds (Mark 8: 23-25), and when he comes home to his own home town he is all but unable to perform any miracles there at all (Mark 6:5). And when he has healed or raised someone, he doesn't want anyone to talk about it, as if he was afraid of letting people know about his miraculous "otherness" (for example, Mark 1:43-44; Mark 5:43). Ah, but have you read the letters of Paul, and the Biblical stories of Paul in general? Paul is the greatest of all missionaries, the greatest conveyor of the story of Jesus Christ. But have you noticed how Paul talks about Jesus? Only once does he mention even a single thing that Jesus actually said or did while he lived on the Earth. (The story Paul recounts is what Jesus said during the Last Supper.) Otherwise, Paul seems to think of Jesus exclusively as the divine presence he met on his way to Damascus - a blinding light from the heavens, a booming, commanding voice from the sky. So majestic! And so totally removed from the fallible Jesus that we meet in the Gospel of Mark! When I read your story, Rachel, I can't help thinking of these two portraits of Jesus - the fallible, somewhat frightened man we meet in the Gospel of Mark, and the unbelievably perfect divine being that we meet in the letters of Paul. I'm sure you know what I'm driving at. While Superman is most certainly no god, Lois idolizes him as if he was all but divine. But when it comes to Clark, she is so painfully aware of all of his shortcomings: “I guess he figured that, well, since we were partners and all, I’d be the one to tell you. Since you didn’t believe me…”
Lois was frowning. “But he’s Superman," she emphasized. “Of course I would have believed him. He doesn’t lie.” “Listen, Clark. I guess I owe you an apology. You’re…you’re a nice guy and all, too, but…you know? You’re human. You get jealous. You’re irrational at times. It just happens, all right? I’m sorry I didn’t trust you, but you just aren’t Superman, and there’s no way you could have known these things, and there’s no way I could have known you knew these things.”
Clark couldn’t help it. “Superman’s not perfect either, Lois,” he said softly.
Lois immediately pulled back her hand, and her eyes took on a steely glint. “I don’t want to hear it, Smallville.” I've sometimes wondered what Paul would have said if he had met the frightened and flawed Jesus from the Gospel of Mark. And I so have to wonder what Lois will say when she finds out that her all but divine Superman is really only Clark Kent. Will Clark be able to look Lois in the eye when she finds out that Clark has dragged her idol through the filth of the earth by daring to be him? After all, how can Superman be perfect if he is only Clark? It's interesting how Clark seems relatively unable to think of himself as Superman. And in the Gospel of Mark, Jesus keeps denying for a long time that he is the Messiah. Ah, but in this chapter, Clark does seem to be coming to terms with the fact that he is Superman: It took only thirty seconds for Clark to be in, out, and standing before the mirror again—this time dressed in comfortable sweats and a t-shirt. He slicked his hair back purposefully, and pulled the curl down over his forehead. He stood up straight and folded his arms over his white t-shirt. He gave his reflection a stern look.
Hello, Superman. He is on his way back to being Superman again, though of course he isn't really there yet. And as Clark, I noticed, he seemed to be stuttering worse than ever. Certainly that visit from Luthor had to have a lot to do with Clark's renewed, enhanced fears. He blinked up at none other than Lex Luthor, his grin dropping off his face and splashing into the floor with hardly a ripple. Like somebody already pointed out, this is a great image. “E-excuse me,” Clark stuttered, taking a step back and bumping into his desk. He had been about to set the papers down, but as he looked into the cold eyes before him his grip tightened over them as he held them close, almost protectively. Fear grips Clark. He begins stuttering, and he holds his stack of papers as if they might disappear into the maw of the billionaire if he didn't, feeding the monster's poisonous power in the process. “No. I’m just waiting for Miss Lane,” Luthor said dismissively, somehow looking down his nose at Clark even while Clark stood a good three inches above him even without standing completely straight. I love how you play with the expression "looking down on someone". Clark hadn’t noticed it in his distraction, but Lois was right. Luthor had shadows under his eyes, and his eyes seemed almost feverish. His skin was almost stark white, as if his natural color had been leached right out of him. In fact, he looked a bit green. Like the others, I have to wonder if Luthor has been feeding himself Kryptonite, to turn himself into a living, lethal weapon against Superman. In the comics - which you may or may not be familiar with - Luthor wore a Kryptonite ring in the 1980s. However, the ring posioned him. First he had to have his hand amputated, then his cancer spread and he died of it. (Then he was resurrected, don't ask me how.) I do believe that Luthor really was radiating small amounts of Kryptonite and physically affecting Clark: Being around Luthor made him feel physically ill. His hands were shaking slightly as he walked towards the coffeemakers, and his brow was slightly damp from sweat. Clark didn’t feel so good. He had heard a call for help as he had been getting his and Lois’s coffee, and hadn’t wasted time darting down the stairway to the streets below and blurring towards the robbery, but whether it was because of the long night, the cloudy day, or the lack of sleep, his speed had seemed considerably slower, and his arm and leg throbbed unpleasantly. He had been forced to catch the bullets of robbers to save one of the cops, and the contact of the bullet had actually hurt. It was the Kryptonite, Clark. The effect Lex has on Clark is certainly scary, but I felt every bit as frightened when he was trying to impose himself on Lois in his horribly suave manner: “Tomorrow, Lois,” Lex said. “Tomorrow afternoon, I can have a limousine pick you up. Dinner in Paris, my dear.”
Lois hesitated a moment. “Lex…I don’t want to lead you on. I’m…really not ready for a serious relationship right now.”
Lex stopped cold at that. “What?”
Lois rushed to explain, feeling hot and cold at the same time. “I just don’t have the time. Things are just so crazy, and…going to Paris…I’d be lucky if I could go to Paris on my honeymoon—”
“It could all be arranged, Lois,” Lex said softly. Horror! I'm shuddering! And how do you tell such a man "no"? “Have you ever,” Lex began, his voice soft, “felt as if you were watching a person from afar? Felt as if you knew their soul, even if you didn't know all of the facts of their lives? I know you, Lois. I know you better than you can imagine.” I have had you under surveillance, Lois? I know everything about you? You are mine? Lois’s mouth was dry and she felt as if the blood had drained right from her face. Recovery. She had to recover her balance. She couldn’t let him throw her off. He couldn’t know.
“Maybe in a couple weeks, Lex. I really need to work on this series.” There. Her voice was calm and firm—perfect Lois Lane. Good answer, but - not one that is likely to keep Lex away for a very long time. Lex glanced at her from over the paper. “My dear, haven’t you read?” He folded the paper so the top of the fold shouted the headline boldly and handed it to her. “The Flash apparently graced our streets last night. Strange, certainly, but who are we to question such beings?” "Who are we to question such beings" - he makes it sound as if the Flash, and by implication Superman, are very serious threats to humanity. All the more so since these heroes are probably not human in the first place - they are "such beings", remember. Good thing that the Earth has upstanding men like Lex Luthor who are ready to oppose these evil aliens then, eh? “Well, my dear, I really must be going. You will hear from me.” was most certainly a serious threat. I loved how you wrote Clark's love for Lois in this chapter: Lois, sitting beside him and holding his hand. Little mother hen Lois, bristling at the thought of anyone coming close to her pet superhero. Little jokes. Hope in the darkness. Even the smallest bit of hope had seemed so brilliantly colorful and yet so comfortingly soft in that sharp white sphere of despair and nothingness . . .
Clark brought his eyes to the present and looked at Lois as she looked up at Luthor. Angel and demon, standing in a face off. She was still so brilliant—his personal beam of sunlight on a cloudy day.
Lois. His guardian angel. If only she knew how much she meant to him. How beautiful. I so agree, even if it will be hard for Lois to accept the truth. Especially now, when Clark has kept lying to her for so long. Lois, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Yes, please forgive him for lying to you. She might be angry. She could very well never speak to him again, and that made him quiver.
But no. He trusted her. He trusted her more than he trusted himself. She had shown her faithfulness and loyalty a thousand times over. He would trust her, even with his own soul. And then when she called for him at night, he could come. He wouldn’t have to hide any more.
And maybe . . .
Maybe she’d just look at him, and take his hand and draw him close and murmur his name. Clark.
And he wouldn’t be alone anymore.
Clark took a shaking breath at the thought. He loved her so much. How beautiful. How sad.  But how could she trust him? How could she forgive him? He may not have lied, but after everything that went between them . . . he hadn’t told her the whole truth. I disagree. His half-truths were meant to mislead her. That's equivalent to lying in my book. Lois, I’m a coward.
Lois, I need you. I need your help.
Lois, I want to be here for you. I love you.
He prayed she wouldn’t turn him away, even for a moment in anger. He didn’t know if his spirit could take it.
Lois, I’m Superman.
Lois . . . Oh, you are making me cry, Rachel. I so, so hope that these two will find their way to honest togetherness and to understanding, forgiving love. They are so brave, and they need each other so much. What an intensely beautiful chapter, Rachel. Ann
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
Clark really needs to tell Lois about Superman. Maybe at dinner?
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Sep 2005
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Hi!
Another brilliant chapter!!! OK, when are you going to address Clark's ship? No mention of it in this chapter and Lois is being nasty to Clark again. At least you had Lois figure out Lex is the "Boss" or "devil" that he is. What is Bobby Bigmouth going to tell Lois and Clark? Wow, I have lots of questions and I need answers! Post soon, or at least on Thur. as normal. Its going to be a long week! Keep up the good writing!
G. Kuhn
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234 |
Okay, so there were some marvelous reviews for this last chapter. Thank you all so very much for the time you put into them--it really is greatly appreciated. Sorry I haven't had as much time to respond this time . . . to tell you the truth, I've been following MetroRhode's council from the last chapter's FDKs and taking that time to write, instead . . .
Which means that I just surprised myself by sitting down and finishing writing the rest of chapter 36. And even more surprising: it's almost 9000 words long--certainly the longest chapter I've written so far!
So the question is: what would you guys give me if I posted it, say, tomorrow, instead of Thursday?
<scratches head> No, wait. That wasn't the question I was looking for. The question really is, would you be *wanting* this extra-long, super chapter given to you tomorrow, even at the risk that I might not be able to get another one out until next Saturday or even later?
Ready, set, VOTE!
<sits back to watch the games begin>
SmirkyRaven
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Why wait until tomorrow? If you post now, you'll have a great set of comments before bedtime!
Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Posts: 234 |
Yeah, but I still have to do my normal edits and see if I can bribe my brother into reading through it for me to check for typos. Since it's such a long chapter, and I'm about to head off for dinner and then family stuff after that . . . tomorrow is looking more realistic. I take it you're for it, then? SmirkyRaven
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