With a finger she darts at me, threateningly. It’s not her finger I fear, though. It’s her expression that conveys her real feelings.
Beautiful. There is no way that Lois can hurt Clark physically, but her own pain can hurt him more than most things.
With her voice and finger she is trying to convince me that she’s furious. And I bet she wants to be
Interesting. She's just pretending to be furious?
I’ve been here at seven and at seven-oh-one.
Love that. I can imagine him darting furtive glances at his watch. Seven sharp, and no Superman emergencies. Seven-oh-one, and no Superman emergencies....
She’s not really furious; my love is already beyond that.
She isn't furious....
Lois is utterly disappointed, her pretended madness betrayed by the tears in her eyes.
Yes, he's running out on her again for seemingly no reason, and she is devastated.
It cuts right through me, killing me slowly just like the people whose desperate cries for help I hear.
Great sentence.
“I’m sorry, Lois,” I mutter, apologetically. I know that it is not enough, that she deserves more – the truth. I can’t stay simply because I’m Superman. But the words won’t come… simply because I’m too afraid.
But here's where my blood pressure starts rising. He's dating her, right? This is a date? He
knows there may be a Superman emergency in the middle of it, so that he may have to leave for seemingly no reason. And even so he hasn't told her that he is Superman.
“Don’t you dare go now,” she says hoarsely. It was meant to be another yell. She prepares for fight, taking the position that she uses to defend herself against villains. “Tell me why!” She demands in a last attempt of intimidating me, of forcing me to tell her what I have been hiding from her.
Oh, Lois, I sympathize so completely.
I open my mouth, but not a single word comes out. My mind is blank, but for the pain. Knowing that people are dying out there is excruciating. Seeing my poor Lois suffer is not any easier. She sees that I am not going to tell her the truth.
<grumble>
The cries are sounding more and more urgent. And I know that I’m dying anyway. The decision is not about my life but about the lives of others. It will kill me when they die though I could have done something.
I sympathize, Clark.
Losing Lois will kill me as well.
Excuse me? What?
Why are you going to lose Lois? Because you are going to leave without telling her? Do that, buster, and you
deserve to lose her. I won't feel the least bit sorry for you.
Or do you think you are going to lose Lois if you tell her the truth about yourself? Well, if you think she is going to dislike the fact that you are Superman, then you shouldn't date her as Clark. That is misleading her.
On the other hand,
why would Lois be so upset about the fact that you are Superman? She has always loved Superman. Isn't it a good thing that you are him? Isn't it likely that Lois will like you just as much as before if you tell her the truth about yourself?
Okay, Barbara, do I hate Clark's lies about himself to Lois or do I hate Clark's lies about himself to Lois?
I open my mouth again to say the words that could change everything. But it’s not the right moment.
Let's see... that Wednesday in July was not the right moment, and last Christmas was not the right moment, and your almost-first-date was not the right moment, and her last birthday was not the right moment, and you coming back to her after being shot was not the right moment.... Geeh, what a lot of not right moments there are for telling Lois your secret! No wonder this isn't the right moment either, then.
“Go,” she says suddenly. Her shoulders sink down, defeated. The tears that she has been trying to restrain roll down her cheeks now. “Go,” she repeats, making it clear that this is her final say.
Poor Lois. She is dating a man who keeps running out on her for seemingly no reason, and he will never tell her why. Because, you know, it's never the right moment.
I look into her beautiful eyes and see her sadness. I can’t just go and I can’t stay either. The shock of seeing her turn away from me, finally gives me the strength to speak.
Oh, wow! That man has a spine somewhere underneath all those impressive muscles?
“I have to go, Lois. I’m Superman.” I spin around and stand in front of her. For the first time in two years it embarrasses me to wear those flashy colours in front of her. I betrayed her, I lied. And I kept hiding this for too long. The spandex suit is testament to my betrayal.
Yes, you behaved badly, Clark. But you shouldn't die of shame now that you've finally respected her enough to tell her the truth about you.
“I’m so sorry, Lois. I can’t let those people die. I promise we will talk about this later.” My voice is barely a whisper. I don’t know whether I’ve lost her now. Maybe she will not forgive me. I glance at her one more time, trying to tell her how much she means to me. But even words can’t say how bad I feel about this.
You are blaming yourself for the wrong thing, Clark. Telling her now was right. It was the two years of lying that was wrong.
In the dark night around me I hear Lois’ voice, far away as a faint whisper. “I would have let you go, Clark. Simply because I love you.”
This is extremely beautiful. Lois loves Clark even though he has been cowardly enough not to tell her. She would have let him go, and she would probably have taken him back. And if she hadn't stood up to him, he would have kept lying to her.
I keep insisting that Lois has loved Clark more and better than Clark has loved her.
Sorry, Barbara. This is truly a beautiful vignette, and as you can see, everybody else loves it. I don't
dislike it, don't get me wrong - I like it. It's just that Clark's inability to tell Lois the truth about himself drives me up the wall.
Ann
