I couldn’t come up with any good fic ideas, so I started writing this bad one. A series rewrite.

Description: Clark experiences a psychotic break when he dons the suit for the first time. As a result, he becomes two people who inhabit the same body – Clark Kent and Superman.

****

<That one! That’s the one!>

Clark blinked. Had he just heard a voice?

“Mom, did you just hear that?” he asked, while still inspecting himself in the mirror.

“No, dear. Whatever it was you heard, it must have been far away. Is everything OK?” Martha asked, concerned.

<No, there really is a voice in your head. It’s me – I think you created me to use your powers to help people.>

<What? You mean I’m crazy?>

<I wouldn’t know about that. I don’t think so, though - I think there really are two of us in here. Regardless, since I’m the going to be the one who wears it, I think that I should make the final decision.>

Clark froze. <Oh my god, I’m going crazy!> he thought to himself, so that the other person inside his head would not be able to hear.

However, the other man did have a point – if he had created another identity to help people, then that identity would have a personality much more suited to flying around saving people than his own. Since *he* would take over whenever a dangerous situation arose, it was only fair that he should get to decide what to wear.

Out loud, he said, “No, it was nothing, I think. Mom, what do you think?”

Martha Kent got up off of the bed to stand next to her son. “Well, one thing’s for sure, nobody’s gonna be looking at your face!”

“Mom!”

“Well, they don’t call ‘em tights for nothing!” she laughed as she enveloped her son in a hug.

Frowning, she said, “Well, there’s something missing…something…”

Gasping as she got a flash of inspiration, she quickly reached under the bed and pulled out an old drawer.

“The baby blanket we found you in, so long ago. And this…”

She smiled as she displayed a large S logo.

<Perfect. And I really love the cape, too. It’ll be great for when I’m flying…>

Clark groaned silently at the voice in his head. Oh, man…life was going to get complicated.

****

“The countdown has been terminated at twenty-nine seconds! I repeat-“

Clark watched the television, stunned. <Hey, this looks like a job for *you*.> he thought urgently at the new occupant in his head.

<Right. Let me handle this.>

Clark quickly relinquished control so that the superhero could take over.

“I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it, something’s gone wrong. Clark-“ Jonathan Kent craned his neck around to look behind the sofa, but Clark was already gone.

****

He purposely sped towards the Space Shuttle Prometheus. Even though this was his first time on the job, he was supremely confident that he would know what to do when he got there.

<Are you sure you know what you’re doing?> Clark thought at him questioningly.

He nodded his head slightly as he thought his response back to the original owner of the body. <I’m sure. Whatever it is, I think I’ll be able to handle it.>

When he reached the inside the shuttle, he found a woman standing nervously next to a ticking bomb.

<Oh my god, that’s my co-worker, Lois!> Clark thought incredulously.

Ignoring Clark, for the situation was far too dangerous at the moment, he thought fast and strode decisively towards the explosive device.

“Hey, get away from that! What kind of a lunatic are you? That’s a bomb, and you’re…”

The woman gasped as he put the bomb in his mouth. Her eyes grew big when the bomb exploded.

“Excuse me.” he said as he burped, remembering his manners. Then, narrowing his eyes suspiciously, he said, “Now as for what you were doing here on this spacecraft…”

<Hey, Give her a break! She’s a friend of mine!> Clark protested.

However, before they could start arguing about how to best pursue the issue of Lois Lane’s unauthorized presence on the spacecraft, the colonists were with them.

Lois, who hadn’t noticed his suspicious look or at least acted as if she hadn’t, told everyone, “There was a bomb. And he…he…he…ate it.”

Then, he noticed a child in a wheelchair. Instantly forgetting Lois, he turned to face the child. “Hi.” he said as he smiled warmly.

“Hi. I like your costume.”

“Thank you. My friend’s mother made it for me.”

****

Later, after having saved the Prometheus mission, he flew Clark’s co-worker back to her office building at the Daily Planet. Clark had convinced him that she was OK, and that although she had illegally snuck on board the Prometheus, her heart was in the right place.

After he set her down, Lois seemed to undergo a few moments of speechlessness. That made sense, he thought, given that she had just been through what must have been a harrowing ordeal.

“I..I..I think considering the fact that I saw you first, that you owe me an exclusive.” she finally managed to say breathlessly.

He frowned. <Clark? Is that the rule?>

<No. It isn’t.> Clark shot back. That was strange. Clark had sounded…bitter. Almost as if he was…jealous? No, it was probably just his imagination. He knew that Clark wasn’t the type of person to be jealous of him saving the space program – after all, that’s what he had created him for!

He smiled at Lois indulgently as he turned around to fly away without answering her question. As he approached the window, he heard Lois call out frantically, “Wait a minute! How do I find you?”

Still after that exclusive. Craning his head back, he said simply, “I’ll be around.”

As he soared out the window, he was sure that he could hear Clark grumbling to himself inside their head.

****

He landed on the edge of Lex Luthor’s balcony. Clark had filled him in on all of the details, and they both concurred as to who had likely been responsible for the near-disaster.

As he neared the window, Lex pushed the button, causing it to open. He smiled insincerely as he clapped his hands together.

“An astonishing debut, Superman.”

At his blank stare, Lex continued, “Haven’t you heard? That’s what they’re calling you. It’s international news.”

<Superman?> Clark queried.

<Superman – I guess it works just as well as any other name.> he thought back.

Superman stared Luthor straight in the eye. “I came to tell you that I know who you are…”

****

“Morning, Lois.” Clark said as he circled around to the other side of his co-worker.

“Clark, where have you been?” Lois asked, somewhat cheerfully.

“Around.”

“Well, not that it’s anywhere near as exciting as the stories you covered on the ‘Smallville Press’, but Superman was in the newsroom, and I just about nailed down the exclusive.” she said confidently.

<What? I never said that I would-> Superman began, somewhat confused.

<Not now, Superman!> Clark thought, somewhat sternly.

“Up close, he is the most magnificent figure of a man that I have ever…” Lois continued dreamily.

“Sounds like he made quite an impression on you.” Clark interrupted glumly.

“He did- why? Are you jealous?” Lois said, amused.

<Hmm, I hope that she doesn’t develop any sort of romantic attachment towards me. I don’t want to hurt anybody.> Superman commented.

Clark’s heart sank. Superman was naïve in these areas. Although he didn’t realize it, Lois had *already* developed a romantic attachment towards him. And although Clark had practically just met Lois, he couldn’t ignore the fact that his own feelings for her had been getting stronger…

After they stepped into the elevator, Lois let out another dreamy sigh. Clark sobbed to himself inwardly. No, there was no doubt about it; he was jealous of the man that he had created. But it would certainly not do to share these thoughts with Superman…

****

To be continued in “Identity Crisis II: Strange Visitor”