table of contents Sorry for the delay on this one. Lack of inspiration, for a scene my beta assures me you all will appreciate, and RL(sorry Roger)have reacked havoc. Hope it was worth the wait.
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Clark stood looking out the sliding glass door in Lois' room. The small family had spent the previous evening celebrating his return. He'd laughed and cried when they presented him with the various treasures that they'd collected through the years. His favorite was a video that showed a very pregnant Lois and chronicled the birth of his son. Later, when he and Lois had taken the boy to bed, he'd held them both in his arms. He'd told them quietly that he was so happy to be with them he wasn't sure he'd ever get over the feeling. They'd told him they didn't expect him to.
He'd been so convinced they would all be better off without him. Yet, now he couldn't imagine how he could ever have wanted to do that to them. He'd told each one, including his parents, that he loved them and that he was amazed to find he'd still been a part of thir lives even when they'd thought he was dead. That moved him another step out of the pain and misery.
Clark hadn't protested when Lois led him once again to her room. In the light shining through the glass doors of the balcony, Clark made love to Lois slowly, passionately, and with his very soul. Kisses were interspersed with words of endearment and he even told her that he loved her, then listened as she told him. Their souls wove around each other and Clark felt his life become complete once again. Everything in the world that mattered was right here, right now.
He smiled when he felt warm hands come up around his waist; a soft cheek was pressed to his back. "I missed my heater," she told him softly.
He turned and pulled her against him. "I like watching the stars." A soft kiss was placed on her lips. "I didn't see them for so long."
Lois glanced out before looking up at Clark. "I can't begin to imagine what that was like for you."
"Mmm." Clark pulled her close, dropping a kiss on her hair. "Would you listen while I tell you some of it?"
"I'll always listen to you, sweetie." She pulled back to look at him. "Why don't you come back to bed so I can hold you while you talk?"
"Lady, that's the best offer I've had in years," he teased.
She stuck her lip out in a mock pout. "I would have thought last night was."
"Lois," he began seriously as his smile faded. "Making love to you is incredible. Last night was incredible. But… just being able to see you, hold you, talk to you… that means so much more. Don't get me wrong. I hope you'll allow me to continue to make love to you. I just…" He shrugged. "I feel so much closer to you when you're just holding me."
"In that case, I don't ever intend to let go." She pulled him in for an embrace. "I love you, Farmboy."
He chuckled and moved his hands over her body. "And I love you, honey."
She drew back to look at him. "Honey… I like that."
Clark smiled and took her hand as they went back to bed. She settled against the headboard and he settled against her, his back to her chest. She wrapped her arms around him and softly stroked his skin as he began to talk.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Clark lay with his cheek against Lois' chest. He'd talked for hours, cried for a while, and even laughed some. The whole time she'd held him close, offering him the comfort he'd ached for so many cold nights inside that cell.
After a long silence, she spoke. "Did they… hurt you physically? You know… beat you or…"
"No."
"You would tell me, wouldn't you?"
He lifted his head to look at her. "They didn't hurt me... not like that. After the kryptonite there was nothing... and that was just by accident. They didn't even realise how much damage they'd done to me." His voice drifted off as he contemplated the hurt he'd endured for those few days he'd been locked in the cell with the one thing that was poison to him. Yet even his physical pain had paled into insignificance when compared to the mental torture of the following years. "Sometimes... sometimes I used to wish they had beaten me to death."
Lois wiped the tears rolling down his cheek again. "Then you would have never come home to me."
He stared into her loving eyes for a long moment before he settled his cheek back on her chest. She sighed and gently ran her fingers through his hair. There was no way she'd ever be able to understand how this man had lived through all of those horrible things he'd told her about, but one thing she did know was that she'd hold him as often as he wanted her to. They continued to lay in the silence, happy to be able to share this time together. It was a while before Clark spoke again.
"Lois?"
"Yeah?"
His hand splayed over her stomach. "I'd be happy if we made another baby."
"I think I would, too," she admitted.
"Lois?" he said after another silence.
"Huh?"
"Will you marry me?"
"Absolutely," she answered without hesitation.
He simply pulled her closer and his tears started again. When he calmed, Clark leaned back up so he could look at her, losing himself in her eyes. "Make love to me, Lois. Take away the pain."
Not another word was said as she leaned forward to kiss him. This was one request she would spend a lifetime granting.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Lois hadn't lied when she told Clark she was glad he was home. It would have literally torn her apart to have to say good-bye to him again, even if it was so he could go to a home that was as close as just across the hall. The memory of him being dragged away that day was imprinted into her mind. Even when he would go from one room to another, that image reared its ugly head.
But Clark… what must he be going through? He'd told her some pretty awful things. How had he survived the cold and the endless lonely hours? His strength certainly took her breath away. Lois realized that she loved and respected him more than she'd ever thought possible.
Soon enough though, their safe haven inside her bedroom had been breached. They'd had to rise and face another day. And something Clark had said the night before was starting to echo inside Lois' mind.
"Clark?" Lois called his name as she slipped her slacks on and buttoned up her blouse.
"Yeah?" He buttoned his shirt and reached for his tie.
"Did you really mean what you said last night?"
He stopped with his tie dangling from his hands, his eyes fixed on Lois'. "Lois, I meant every word. I've been locked away far too long not to mean what I say."
"I know that. It's just..." She moved around to his side of the bed and sat so she could look up at him. "I meant it when I said yes," she told him softly.
Clark took a breath when he realized what she was trying to say. He slowly eased down beside her to set some of her worries at ease... and hopefully some of his own in the process. "I love you," he said after a moment.
Lois turned to look at him. "And I love you," she promised.
Clark met her gaze before continuing. "I've been 'dead' too long, but the last few days you've shown me how *good* it feels to live again. All those years, I never imagined how wonderful life could be... I can't go back, Lois. Yes, I have a long way to go and I'm sure I'll stumble along the way, but, Lois..." He reached out to take her hands. "I *need* you... and our son. I *want* an us."
Lois smiled through tears that had started to pool in her eyes. "I want those things, too, Clark."
"Then I'll ask again..." He eased to his knees on the floor, still holding her hands. "Will you marry me?"
"Yes," she whispered softly.
Clark smiled and kissed her hands before stretching up to kiss her lips. "You know, I'd really like to take you out tonight."
<Where had that bit of bravery come from?>
Clark was unsure what had possessed him to ask her to go out. He still wasn't comfortable with crowds or being around people other than Lois, Clark Jr. and his parents, but for some insane reason, he suddenly felt the urge to prove to himself that he could live again. If not for himself, for Lois and his family.
What he'd just said began to sink in with Lois. "Clark, how do I pretend to be out with Conner Devon? I want to tell the world that the man I love, the *only* man I've ever loved is home... with me and that we're getting married."
Clark dropped his eyes to stare at their joined hands. Dan still hadn't contacted them about the warrants for Luthor's arrest and he didn't want to ruin the chances of finally bringing that monster down by revealing himself too soon.
Lois watched as he battled with himself. Why had she said that? While all those things were very true, she was also smart enough to know that Lex Luthor was still connected enough to possibly escape justice if too much was given away too soon. She pulled one of her hands from his and placed it alongside his cheek.
"Clark, I know we need to wait for the warrants and I understand completely."
He lifted his eyes back to hers. "I'm sorry, Lois, but this is important to me."
"Honey, I know it's important and I shouldn't have protested."
"You have every right to protest. God, I want to shout to the world that I'm home-that Luthor didn't kill me."
Lois couldn't help but smile. Clark had just made an astonishing admission with that statement. The healing process was amazing when you had the right therapy.
Clark clamped his mouth shut, then changed directions. "Just go out with me. We'll get a private table so you won't have to call me Conner, and I'll ask the manager to make sure we're not bothered." Which was usually what Edward did when he went to a restaurant.
"I think maybe you need to get out," Lois told him.
"Yeah." Once again his insecurities surged to the surface. How could any woman want to be with him? He pushed himself to his feet and continued to dress.
Lois had felt his withdrawal almost immediately. She stood and reached out to help him fix his tie. "Don't," she told him firmly. "The fact that you even suggested we go out proves just how far you've come in such a short time. Please don't close the door. I can't get in if you do."
Clark dropped his hands to allow her finish with his tie. "Why?"
She stopped and looked at him. "Why what?"
"Why would you want all of this?"
Lois didn't even have to pretend she didn't know what he meant. "Because I love you," she told him softly. She pressed a kiss to his lips before pulling back with a smile. "Now, are we going out?"
"What about Clark Jr.? He won't like it if we leave him behind?"
"Clark, your parents would be thrilled to have him stay with them a while. And we can't spend all of our time with him. We have to have a little for ourselves."
Clark laughed softly as he wrapped his arms around Lois and pulled her close for a hug. "You're right. Mom and Dad would love to have him all to themselves."
"Good." Lois pulled back again. "You finish dressing and I'll go see where that boy of ours is. Meet you in five."
"Okay." Clark reached out to grasp her hand before she could get very far. "I love you," he whispered before he released her hand.
She smiled brightly and left in search of their son. Clark was left to stare at her retreating back. It was strange how quickly things changed. A decade ago, in a matter of hours he'd been sentenced to die in some hole in the ground and now, in the span of a few days, he'd had life breathed back into his soul.
He took a deep breath of contentment before heading out in search of his family.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Clark had grown nervous as the time for his date with Lois drew close. His parents had happily agreed to care for Clark Jr., more than thrilled to have time alone with their grandson as they always were. Martha's eyes had been filled with tears as the couple exited the apartment. She knew the emotional price her son had paid over the years, and for him to be able to do something as simple as go out with Lois meant that he was indeed healing. She wasn't naive enough to think he'd heal and be the man he once was, but he was certainly on the way to becoming someone he could at least respect. More than anything that's what her son needed.
Lois, too, was nervous by the time they left for their date. She was so excited to be able to do this thing. She'd held tight to Clark's arm as they walked along the streets and talked about nothing in particular. It never once occured to either of them that others might question why Lois Lane was suddenly spending time with the elusive billionaire, Conner Devon.
One such person to notice was Lex Luthor. He'd been sitting at a table in the upscale restaurant when Lois and Conner entered. He watched as the couple were seated across the room.
Nigel, who accompanied his boss on this night because they had to discuss LexCorp's current financial difficulties, noticed that something had distracted Lex from the conversation. He turned in his chair to see what could possibly be so interesting. He was surprised to see Lois Lane with Conner Devon.
"Very intriguing," Nigel commented when he straightened in his chair again to face his boss.
"Yes. Very." Lex focused on Nigel. "I wasn't aware that Lois knew Devon." He was finding it hard to believe that another Devon was causing him irritation.
"Neither was I, sir."
Lex glanced at the couple again. They were snuggled close together and smiling happily at one another. "It seems their dinner may not be totally professional," he commented with raised brows. "Wouldn't Daniel love to see that?" Lex leaned back in his chair to gaze over at the couple that seemed to be unaware of anyone else around them.
"I'm sure he would," Nigel said unconcerned. He didn't care for Dan Scardino very much. In fact, he didn't care for very many people.
"Tell me, Nigel, how is it that an intelligent woman such as Lois Lane could turn down offers from an educated, well-traveled man such as myself, spend years searching for a nobody boyfriend while two-timing that lover's memory with the likes of a dirty DEA agent, then suddenly be all over a sniveling brat like Conner Devon?"
"It is mistifying, isn't it?" Nigel rarely ever got excited about anything, and Lois Lane wasn't about to change that. He'd never cared for the woman. He thought her arrogant and too nosey for her own good. He'd had to cover up a lot of his boss's actions over the years so that she wouldn't stumble across them by accident. Nigel had been relieved when she'd resigned from active investigative work. That meant his workload would be lighter. When the irritating woman started writing those novels, he'd known his rest was over. He'd discovered over the years that Lane continued to investigate Luthor, just so she could have research for her books. Of course, he'd also wondered how long it would be before she connected Luthor with Kent's murder. After a few years, when she'd failed to produce the needed evidence to implicate Luthor, Nigel started to think that maybe he'd overestimated her. He'd chalked her lack of success on that investigation up to her being lovesick over that nauseous nobody partner of hers.
Lex had gone back to watching the couple as they shared their dinner and conversation. He'd once wanted to conquer that woman. She'd attracted him like no other ever had. What he wouldn't have given to possess her. When she'd thrown their relationship in his face for the likes of Clark Kent, he'd been livid. His plan, that he so affectionately dubbed 'Divide and Conquer', quickly took shape and in less time than it takes most people to balance their checkbook, Kent had been sentenced to die while Lex planned to ease into Lois' bed... just to offer her comfort of course. However, it seemed Lois was more intelligent than Lex had given her credit for. She'd suspected he was behind what happened to her precious Clark. His plans had to be altered, but no matter what he'd attempted, she just wouldn't come to him.
His expression changed slightly when he noticed Conner rise and head in the direction of the men's room. Maybe it was time for another talk with the 'boy wonder'. This time he'd handle that topic himself.
"Excuse me, Nigel. I have business to attend to." Lex rose and placed his napkin on the table before striding off in the direction Conner had gone. He entered the restroom and pretended to wash his hands while he waited for Devon to come out of the stall.
Conner opened the stall to the toilet and almost slammed it shut again. The last person he'd expected to see tonight was Lex Luthor. He wasn't prepared for this at all. He was about to leave without acknowledging his presence when the man noticed him there.
"Well, if it isn't the infamous Mr. Devon," Lex said as he turned to face Conner.
Conner just stood there in silence, trying desperately to control his rising anger. He'd thought about this moment countless times. He'd wondered how he'd react when it finally came. Would he lose control and do something he'd regret? Would he immediately tell Luthor he suspected him to be an evil monster? Would he tell him he was Clark Kent? It appeared he'd do none of that. All he could manage was to glance away before he moved to one of the sinks to wash up. He felt that if he had something to distract him that maybe the sudden urge to see if he was as strong as he once was would slowly dissipate.
Lex smiled coyly as he watched Devon wash his hands. "I must say, Mr. Devon, I am disappointed that you haven't accepted my invitation to merge our empires. We'd be a force to be reckoned with."
That finally sank in. Conner stopped his hands under that water, then looked up at Lex. "As I told your assistant, Mr. Luthor, I'm not interested in resurrecting a dying business."
"Dying business? Surely you don't mean LexCorp?"
Conner reached for a napkin to dry his hands, doing so as he spoke. "I'm sure I do." He moved around Lex to throw his napkin in the trash.
"LexCorp is a financial giant and if it merged with another, just think of the possibilities for the world."
Conner stopped to look at Lex. Even while trying to convince someone to help save his butt, the egotistical crook was still looking ahead to the power that action could give him. "Mr. Luthor, I am *not* interested." With that, he turned to leave.
"No, of course not. You're too wrapped around Lois Lane," Lex mumbled, in a voice that was meant purely to aggravate the other man.
Conner stopped at the door and slowly faced Luthor again. "What?"
"Well, I couldn't help but notice how you've been all over that woman since you two came in."
Irritated beyond belief, Conner took a half step back toward the man he viewed as his enemy. "You've been watching us?"
"I couldn't help but notice. You two are making a sickening display. Don't you know how to control yourselves?" Lex turned to straighten his tie in the mirror. "Too bad it's all for nothing though."
"Not that it's any of your business, but I was not making any kind of display with my date." He stressed the last word, suddenly feeling the urge to make sure Lex knew exactly what his relationship with Lois was.
Lex turned back to face Conner. "Let me give you some friendly advice. Lane is a tease."
"What?" Conner couldn't help but take another step forward.
"She led me along on a string some years back, then embarrassed me by making scenes with her idiot partner. Not that she jilted me, you understand. My intentions with her were never *that*... emotional. Woman are to be just wooed, won and conquered. Of course, a man of your stature knows exactly what I'm talking about, don't you?" He smiled slyly at Conner.
Conner had to clench his fists to keep from grabbing Luthor around his throat and choking the life from his body.
"Anyway, after the untimely... death of her partner, the woman became obsessed with trying to prove he was innocent and had been set up. Everyone knows that was just not true and she's been unable to prove her ridiculous claims. But I must let you know that she's become *friends* with the DEA agent put in charge of the case. They have been involved over the years. So, Mr. Devon, you're very much wasting your time with Lois Lane. She'll only lead you on and leave you high and dry." Lex smiled, clearly confident that he imparted some 'great wisdom' to this man.
Conner, however, didn't take very kindly to the advice of the deranged monster. He took another menacing step toward Luthor, backing him against the counter. "Now it's my turn to give you some *friendly* advice. Not only do I know Lois Lane, I know her *very* well. She and I have been friends for years and have recently decided that our friendship needs to evolve into something a lot deeper. So we did just that. I also know about her time with Clark Kent and I respect that."
"So you know her bastard son belongs to him?"
Lex crossed the line with that statement. Conner snatched him up by his lapels and turned to slam him against the stall doors behind them. "I let the comment about Lois being a tease go. And I can understand that you don't like to lose, so the comments about being jilted were again ignored. But you crossed the line when you started this conversation. Lois' son is not a bastard, she's not a tease, and you've as much right to give me advice as that damn wall has to get up and run out the door. I can't say I feel the least uncomfortable that you find it so hard to grasp the concept that there's actually a woman out there somewhere that doesn't fall at your feet. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy knowing you're upset because you can't 'get the girl' and I can. So, my advice to you, *Mr. Luthor*, is that it would be a very good idea if you kept your mouth shut from now on."
Lex could only smile at Conner. Knowing he could upset another man like that always gave him a sense of power. "My, it seems she's gotten to you, too. Don't say I didn't warn you though."
Conner was too incensed to speak, but he shoved Luthor a little harder against the stall door, clearly issuing a stern warning for the man to hush.
"Come on, Devon, the infatuation will wear off. She *will* turn to her memories of her dead lover. She's obsessed with him. Hell, she even moved his parents into that sanctuary of hers. Oh, and don't get me started on her obsession with that flying freak!"
Conner moved his arm up so that it pressed against Luthor's chest, emphasizing his threat for this man to keep his mouth shut. He was satisfied when Lex seemed to strain a little as he became uncomfortable. "As I told you earlier, I know about her relationship with Clark. I also know everything about her relationship with Superman. I respect her time with *both* men, so much so that when we take our wedding vows, it won't bother me one bit to know she'll still love her partner, the father of her son, and the man she considered to be a good friend as well." He could see what he said had hit home. He shoved hard one last time before he released Luthor to leave.
Lex had to take a moment to regain control before what Conner said sank in. By the time he raised his head, Devon was gone. He hurried out behind the man so that he could make a few calls. He needed to find out just how the hell Conner Devon managed to get Lois Lane to accept a marriage proposal.
Conner strode quickly back to his and Lois' table. She noticed his approach and immediately knew something was wrong. "Clark, what's wrong?" She said as he neared the table.
"I have to get out of here," he told her and quickly changed directions toward the door.
She scrambled to rise and gather their jacket so she could follow him. Just as she was about to start toward the exit, she noticed Lex Luthor out of the corner of her eye. He'd entered the main section of the restaurant from the hall leading to the restrooms.
<So, that's why he's upset.>
Lois' heart screamed for Clark. Was Lex Luthor ever going to leave them alone? She tucked the jackets she held under her arm and turned to go, but her need to protect Clark overwhelmed her and she marched over to Lex's table.
Lex noticed her approach and stopped speaking with Nigel when she arrived.
"One day, Lex," Lois started. "You will have nothing to hide behind. When that day comes, I will be there to document for all the world to learn just what kind of person you really are." With that, she stormed from the restaurant in search of Clark. He'd been so upset, she feared she might not be able to bring him back around.
Lex was left with nothing to say. There were only so many shocks a man could take in one night. Finding out that another Devon was about to make his life completely unlivable was enough. Top it off with Lois Lane throwing crazy insinuations at him, well... even the devil himself would become strained.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Lois found Clark pacing back and forth in front of a limo. When she was almost at his side, he reached to open the door.
"Clark, I'm..."
"Just get in," he told her in a clipped tone.
Her brows rose at his tone, but she climbed inside the vehicle anyway. Clark followed her and settled for the ride. The silence finally got the best of her and she turned to face him.
"I had no idea he was there," she told him.
"I know you didn't," Clark responded. He offered nothing further.
"You knew sooner or later you'd have to face him." She was trying desperately to breach his impenatrable wall.
Clark took a breath and looked at Lois. "Tonight was what I needed... in more ways than one."
"What does that mean?"
"It means it showed me what kind of person I really am and that I'll never be able to live a normal life again."
"And what do you mean by that?!" Lois feared she knew exactly what he meant, but she wanted him to say. Maybe he'd hear how idiotic such nonesense sounded.
"It means... I'm going to take you home and say good-bye to Clark."
"Say goodbye?!" Lois' voice took on a hysterical note but Clark didn't answer this time-just turned to stare out the window at the passing lights. "I guess all that stuff you said means nothing!"
Clark's head shot back around to Lois. "I meant every word I said."
"Except the parts about staying around and being part of our lives."
"How can I be part of anyone's life? I can't even function when I think about the things that happened to me!"
"It seems you're doing a pretty damn good job to me," she shot sarcastically. "Or at least making some pretty stupid decisions."
"The decision not to cause you and Clark pain is not stupid."
"Leaving *would* cause us pain, Clark." Her voice had grown soft, full of emotion.
Clark dropped his head back, fighting his threatening tears. He'd told himself over and over the last few days that being with Lois was right; he deserved a little happiness after all he'd gone through. Seeing Luthor had set off every doubt he'd ever harbored. He just couldn't see an end to the pain. He should have never asked her out tonight.
<You were the one that said you wanted to shout to the world that Luthor hadn't beat you.>
Why did his conscience have to remind him of his bursts of bravery? Yes, he had wanted to shout to the world his will to survive. Seeing Luthor had shot his thoughts into a whirlwind.
<But you stood up to him.>
Clark lifted his head with that last thought. He had stood up to Lex Luthor. He'd been angered beyond belief, but he hadn't lost control. He'd effectively warned him to watch his mouth, without giving too much away. All in all, he'd handled the situation very well.
<So why are you having such a difficult time with this?>
Lois' sniffle brought him out of his haze. She was gazing out of her window, trying desperately to hold in her tears. When Clark had refused to speak again, she'd turned away to fight the rising emotions.
Clark wanted to die. He hated to see Lois cry-had always hated it. Now was certainly no different. He reached out a shaky hand to lay on her shoulder. "Lois."
"Just... don't."
"Please don't cry."
That brought her out of her haze. She twirled on him with fire in her eyes. "Don't cry? How dare you tell me something like that! I have ached for you every day for ten years. I have hoped against all hope that somehow you'd come home to me... and somehow you did. How can you say good-bye again?"
Clark's face twisted in agony when he saw the pain he was causing her.
"I know you've had a difficult time and I know there will be much, much more. You're the one that's been constantly repeating how far you have to go, but Clark, you can't run from every little thing that upsets you." She reached to take his hands. "You've had a taste of what living is all about again. Could you really leave all that behind? Could you live every day, for the rest of your life, not knowing what your son is doing? And think of him, Clark. How in the hell would you tell him you're going to leave him?"
The tears filled Clark's eyes as her words started to sink in. She was right. He would never be happy if he walked away now. At least if he stayed, he'd have a chance to live a 'normal' life again. He'd have nothing if he walked out on his son... on Lois.
He dropped his head forward so that his forehead was lying on their joined hands. His soft sobs cut through the silence inside the car as he broke down. Lois simply leaned over to press her lips to the back of his head, offering silent comfort for him. She could only hope her words were enough to convince him that walking away was not the answer. Together, and with Clark Jr. and his parents, Clark could one day be someone that he could respect... only if he stayed.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Once Lois and Clark reached Port Royal, she led him to the observatory on the roof and they spent several hours having another emotional conversation about Clark's fears and insecurities. He confessed that he'd only been thinking of how happy he was to be with her the night before when he asked her to marry him. He told her of his fear of never being able to live up to her expectations or offer her any kind of stability. She listened as he voiced his fear of disappointing their son and his parents. Then he listened as she described her last ten years to him.
Lois visibly shook as she recounted those first days without him; how utterly helpless she'd felt as she'd had to fly home, leaving him in some prison cell and not knowing what was happening to him. She paced the small room as she relived the horrible pain that had hit her when they'd informed her of his death.
Clark listened to it all; her reluctance to accept the fact that he was dead; the joy and sorrow she'd felt when she found out she carried his baby; the indescribeable feelings the day their son was born; and all the years since. She relived the last decade and when she was done, Clark was holding her as both wept once more.
He held her tightly as he apologized for ever thinking of leaving her again. His hand stroked her hair as he promised to be there tomorrow, the next day, and every day forward. Together, he told her. Together is the way they'd stay from that night forward. The road that lay ahead might be a long, winding, rocky one, but with her is where he'd be. And she promised to do everything in her power to help him heal.
When they'd finally reached an understanding, the couple had gone back to Lois' apartment, more relaxed and at ease than they'd been since their encounter with Luthor. Once there, Lois had convinced Clark to make plans to move in the next day. He'd voiced his concerns about what folks might think of Conner Devon living with her and she'd simply replied:
"People see and believe what they want to."
How true that statement was, he'd thought, as he remembered how he'd once convinced the world he was two separate men. But presently, his living arrangements didn't concern the world. If he and Lois were happy, then that was all that mattered.
And during breakfast, Lois laid a few of his other fears to rest by telling him that Dan had phoned to let them know it wouldn't be much longer before the warrants were ready for Lex's arrest. Until then, she'd implied that they didn't have to venture far from Port Royal, if going out made him uncomfortable. Lois would be very happy if they used the time alone to get to know each other again and discuss his feelings about Luthor and how Clark Kent would eventually reveal himself to the world.
Of course, Lois was right and he'd reluctantly given in to her suggestions. So it was a very nervous, but happy Clark who went to his hotel and retrieved his clothes. Other than the things he'd bought since he'd been with his family, his clothes were all that he had with him in Metropolis. He'd told them that the many lavish things he'd inherited as Travis Devon's son didn't really feel like his. The whole family had decided that 'one day at a time' included gathering material goods that were usually associated with being his own man again, and that was what Clark wanted very much.
While he was at his hotel, Lois cleaned out a section of the closet for some of his things and emptied a chest for the others. His hands shook as he laid his clothes into the drawers and hung them in the closet. She finally drew him into a hug and told him how much she loved him. That calmed him enough to finish his chore.
And in those first few days, he must have taken more than fifty showers. That made her heart ache so badly for him. Once, during the night, she'd even awakened to find him sleeping on the floor. Instead of rousing him, she'd drawn the comforter from the bed and settled beside him. He'd apologized a dozen times the following morning, but she told him that he had nothing to apologize for. She was simply trying to help him heal. That had ended with a sweet kiss and soft words of endearment.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Lois looked up from the work she was trying to do to watch the man in her thoughts. He was helping Clark with his school work. She sighed contentedly at the simple task. Just a few days earlier it had been all she could do to convince him to move in with her. Many hours talking out their fears, just as many holding each other, and a few hundred hugs and 'I love yous' later, Clark had started to relax a bit. In the last few days he actually seemed at ease. To Lois that translated to: 'he seemed at home'. She couldn't get much happier.
Clark seemed to sense that she was watching him and turned to offer her a smile.
"I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing you smile," she told him honestly.
"Yeah, well, it's really good to smile again." He leaned back in his chair and lifted his hands behind his head. "I've been thinking that maybe… after we nail Luthor that we could start planning that wedding."
Young Clark's, or Clarry as he'd affectionately been dubbed for confusion sake, head snapped up to his father. "What?"
Clark looked down at him with a smile. "I asked your mother to marry me."
"Oh wow! Really?"
"Really."
"Oh wow!" He turned to look at his mother; she was smiling brightly. "Oh wow!" Tears had started to roll down his cheeks. "Oh wow!" He swiped at his cheeks.
Clark dropped his hands and sat up in his chair when he saw the boy was crying. "Son, what's wrong?"
"Nothin'." He'd started to shake. "It's just…" He turned to glance at his mother. "I'm so happy. How many kids get a second chance like this? My daddy's home. We thought he was dead. I've only known him from what everyone's told me about him. I've listened to my mommy cry because he was gone. And now… here he is." He wiped his face again. "And he's always gonna be here."
Clark was still a little worried about the boy's reaction. "Ah… do you not want that?"
"What?!" Clarry's eyes widened. "Are you kidding? I've prayed for this every day since I've been able to talk. My daddy's alive and my mommy's happy. Our family is all together again."
"Then… why are you shaking?"
"I don't know." He hung his head and started to cry softly. "I've never been happy enough to feel like this," he said softly.
Clark reached out and pulled the boy into his lap. Small arms surrounded his neck in a fierce hug.
"I am so happy, Daddy."
"Me, too, son." How could he have ever thought of giving this up?
They stayed that way for a moment before Clarry pulled back to look at Clark. "Nobody's giving my mom away but me. And if you even think about asking someone else to be the best man, I'll move in with Grandma and Grandpa."
Clark and Lois both laughed. Clark's large hand came up to hold the face before him. "Then we'd all look silly because we'd have to come, too." He leaned forward and kissed Clarry's forehead. "I was thinking more along the lines of something not so traditional in regards to the wedding."
"Really?" Lois asked as she rose to come sit beside them.
"I was thinking we could go to Maine. You two would love Devon Manor. It sits up on a hill out on a point overlooking the ocean. I thought we could get married at sunset on the beach."
Lois smiled brightly. "That sounds perfect."
Clark looked over at Lois with a frown. "I know most women want this huge event to mark their marriage, but Lois, honey, I don't think I could do that."
She reached out and rubbed his arm. "I want you, Clark. I wouldn't care if we went down to the courthouse as long as we get married."
He smiled and looked back at Clarry. "We can give her a little more than that." The boy smiled and nodded. "Anyway, I was thinking of thin cotton clothes… white. Bare feet, warm wind, Mom, Dad… us." He smiled at Lois again. "And I want Clarry to walk with both of us. I want him there, right in the middle, as we say our vows."
"Oh wow!" The boy looked over at his mom. "Just like the wedding you've always described, Mom."
"What?" Clark was looking between them.
"Mom has always said that if she could have you back she'd be married holding the hands of the two men she loves most in the world."
Clark stared across at Lois. "Clarry, your mother won't just be my wife. I told you how much I loved her and that she's the reason I lived all those years…" He paused and continued to stare at Lois. "Simple reason for that is that she's my other half. When I got out of there and decided I wouldn't come back, I knew I'd always be able to feel her. The first time I saw her again, I knew I'd never be able to live without her."
Clarry looked between his parents. They were staring at each other and even he could understand the communication going on. "Kiss her already," he mumbled after a moment with an embarassed grin.
Clark simply leaned forward and met Lois in a sweet, tender kiss. When he pulled back, she was smiling with tears in her eyes. "I love you, Lois."
"I love you, Clark." She smoothed a hand over his face before she rose and left the room.
Clark looked back down at his son. "We are the luckiest men alive."
"Absolutely," the boy agreed with a huge grin.
tbc... in one more part
