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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,437
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,437 |
At first I passed up the beginning of this series because I saw "Jonathan Kent II," and just didn't feel like reading a next-gen fic at the time. But when I read through it this morning, I decided I like it. I'm looking forward to part IV. 
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,980 Likes: 11
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,980 Likes: 11 |
Great part!  More! Need moooooore! 
~•~
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,514 Likes: 29
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,514 Likes: 29 |
Nice part! I liked that the girl Jon saved was around to thank him. And I very much like your explanation why the secret had to be shared with the world anyway. I never thought about the "where does Superman's child come from" question. I guess it would be asked. But if you're (like me) not planning on writing stories about Clark's adult children, I guess the question is not that important. I'm babbling again. Lois is contagious.
Go on writing, Vincent!
It's never too dark to be cool. 
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292 |
I can only second what others said before me: Go on writing! It's really good stuff you're posting here.
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 99
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 99 |
Oops, I just found a typo in the story. Since Clark was born/found/whatever in 1966...that would make him 27, not 29 in the first season...maybe if I fix it quick, noone will notice...*shifts eyes around*
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1 |
I like this idea, and your rationale for Clark and Lois explaining to Jon why they had already decided that the revelation would have to be made anyway is very original. I'll be waiting very impatiently for the next part.
Nan
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
This really is a nice story. The chapters are short but complete, and the little cliffhangers at the end are a very nice touch. And I think you've done an excellent job with your first story here. You've worked hard on it and it shows. I'm not a great fan of "next gen" stories either (although I won't turn a story down on that basis), but this one is certainly holding my attention.
I wish I'd known that girl's name. I think there might be a real possibility for Jonathan to forge a true friendship with her. She showed some courage in coming to his hospital room to thank him personally, and a lot more to sit there conversing with Jon's parents while waiting to deliver her message. Maybe you could bring her back in later. I think she could be a strong second character for this piece if it grows legs and refuses to let you end it.
And I don't think this post was either cheesy or corny. There's nothing wrong with some good, solid, honest emotional tension.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 99
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 99 |
Interestingly enough, I'm not much of a next gen fan myself. The reason I made this one a next gen fic was actually because I needed a developing super person for the story idea, so it was either next gen or young Clark. It turns out I'm even less of an early years fan than a next gen fan, plus young Clark probably wouldn't have really worked anyways, since I didn't really feel like rewriting his life. So this was the lesser of two evils for me
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864 |
I liked the ending where he decides not to go to school. The fact is that many kids would go more than a day or two without wanting to go back.
I also like the umbrella title, but I didn't realize it was part three of what I had read earlier today.
Elisabeth
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