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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687
Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
I've said so before, but I glad you posted this.  Instead of letting it sit on your hard drive, there. hehe! (hey, btw.. you ought to change the message icon to a little blue arrow. just a thought.) “Still getting yourself into trouble I see.” The voice was soft and deep, filled with so much emotion it sent a shiver up her spine. I love that this is the first thing he says to her.  So very Superman of him. And a big happy sigh at the end cause he's back. I always hate that he leaves, but when he comes back it's so "awww!".
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 94
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 94 |
I loved this story!!!! and I'm so glad you decided to share it. “Still getting yourself into trouble I see.” The voice was soft and deep, filled with so much emotion it sent a shiver up her spine. This part sent a shiver down MY spine.  For the first time, she realized the strong, steady arms around her were trembling. “Lo-- Lois? Did he hurt you? Are you okay?” His voice cracked with the effort of speaking, but he had to know if she was harmed in any way.
The very faint feel of her head shaking against his spandex-clad chest did nothing to quell his fear that she was hurt. “Lois, look at me,” he whispered, one hand slipping up to trace his fingertips along her jaw. “Lois?” Ah, this is so heart wrenchingly beautiful...BRAVO BRAVO.  If you have anymore like this lurking around on your computer...POST THEM 
Clark: "Can I have a rat chief? Can I, huh? Please?"
Perry: "Clark, do you want me to send you to the dark room?"
Clark: "The dark room?"
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Ooooh, Jessi, that was deliciously lovely. Everyone's already quoted the parts that I would. But the way you described his voice and the tremble. I loved it! Don't you dare leave something like this just sitting on your hard drive. Didn't your momma teach you that it's not polite not to share? <g> -- DJ
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
That was such a sweet and tender story. It made my day.
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 573
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 573 |
Aw, thanks everyone. I was pretty nervous about this one. Lara- I've told you a billion times but THANK YOU! for your help and your praise. They both mean a lot to me. (Hehe, and thanks for the reminder about the arrow, I was going to do it but I got so excited about finding a title that I completely forgot!  ) FinLi- I'm glad I decided to share it, too! Hmm... you never know what I've got lurking around on this thing. DJ- *Meep* Just as long as you don't bring the chainsaws out on me! I promise to share from now on, *scout's honor*. Sheila- Aw, making your day *definitely* makes mine! Thanks again to all of you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Jessi
"Lois Lane is Clark Kent's Superman." - Brian Miller
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 613
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 613 |
This was beautiful! I have to echo what everyone else said, the quotes and all. Thank you so much for sharing this with us! But I have to say, as beautiful as this story is (and it really really is ), seeing it end where it did was almost more painful than the emotion in the story itself! But that's just me. I can never get enough of any story line. If you've got anything else hanging around, please share! ~Kristen
Joey: If he doesn't like you, then this is all just a moo point.
Rachel: A moo point?
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion, you know, it just doesn't matter. It's "moo."
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 573
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 573 |
Thanks Kristen!
I have a feeling I'm not quite done with this piece yet. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do with it, but I've had a few ideas. I'm not making any promises (I'm really bad at keeping those when it comes to fanfiction), but it *may* find its way into a bigger story, or possibly part of a sequel to the one I'm working on right now, Through a Glass, Darkly).
We'll see!
"Lois Lane is Clark Kent's Superman." - Brian Miller
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864 |
Except it wasn't happening. Not actually. Not even the sounds of crunching metal and the desperate grunts of exertion, as her attacker struggled to break away from her savior, were enough to convince her that it was actually happening. She had been tricked by her own senses too many times over the past year to give in to their cheap deceptions again. How poignant! Her heart is so freshly wounded--even after a year. (Although when I first started reading, I thought she had been held captive for a year. Maybe someone had tortured or brainwashed her. I was relieved to discover only her heart had been broken.) Voices echoed around her, both of them panicked, one of them concerned. They swam around in her brain, looking for a place that would comprehend the words that were being formed. The unintelligible voices were soon joined, then drowned out by, the sounds of sirens and squealing tires she vaguely recognized as the police arriving. Doors slamming, more stunned voices, repeating the same name over and over again. The one name that she refused to hear, refused to believe. Why wouldn't they stop saying it? She wanted to cry out to them to stop, but somewhere in the confusing din of chaos, she had lost her own voice. I love how descriptive your story is. The sounds, sensations, thoughts and emotions prevail over appearances and dialogue. It works well. For the first time, she realized the strong, steady arms around her were trembling. She's not the only one who feel so deeply. I already used the word poignant, but it fits so well throughout. Her head snapped up suddenly, like she had been jarred from a deep sleep. This was the only line that I wasn't fond of, because it jarred me out of the previous emotion. I prefer romance to surprise. However, it didn't ruin the whole story for me. Particularly as you bring me right back in with the next line. The haunted brown eyes that stared up at him spoke the volumes that she herself couldn't. Well done. Elisabeth
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