A few weeks before Christmas I witnessed a funny scene in a train. A little girl around Becca's age was playing cards with her father. It was something you might know as "Uno". I watched the two of them fascinated as they sat on the floor, always shifting positions because they were right in front of the doors. This was really cute and it inspired the events on Christmas Eve in this story. Unfortunately I'm not half as good as real life. And I didn't use the card game, but a common board game - namely Pacheesi, Ludo, Mensch ärgere dich nicht (Don't get angry, man) or however you may call it - because I found it easier to describe. I think the rules are well known, but there might be differences all over the world. I use the rules that I know and to be sure that you are able to follow, here a summary... Notes on the game… At least in the German version it’s like this: You’ve got a place where you put your four pawns before you are able to start. You are allowed to dice three times as long as you’ve got no pawn moved out of that position. Only when you get a six you can leave your “home” and go on the first space. Whenever you dice a six you are allowed to dice again. So after this first move you can dice again and move the pawn. Whenever you get a six you’ve got to leave the “home” with one of your pawns unless they are all on the squares or your starting position is occupied by one of your own pawns. You have to get your pawns to the goal and move them one time around the board. Whenever your pawn gets on a square that’s already occupied by an opponent you can bump him back to his home.
I had thirteen parts at first, but I noticed that it would have been kind of ridiculous to seperate the last bit. So part 12 is maybe a bit longer than the previous. And for all those who are superstitous, 12 parts may be a bit more comfortable. 
From Part 11: But she wasn’t going to fall for Clark Kent, she couldn’t because she had already fallen in love with Superman. When he had stopped by the day before, Lois had known it. He was drop-dead gorgeous. He was strong, and completely reliable, unlike other men she had met. And who knew when Clark was going to show his real face? Lois had realized that Clark wasn’t like other guys. He was such a caring father, it was amazing. But that didn’t mean that he was never going to hurt her. Besides, she wasn’t in love with him. Perhaps slightly attracted, but not in love.
Part 12: “Don’t believe what they say…” The speaker’s voice was low, hardly above a whisper, but intense. Very intense. He didn’t look impressive. He was tall, but slim; gangling really. Nobody would have noticed him but for his bright, intelligent eyes and his voice.
“Don’t believe what they say…” he repeated and a smile appeared on his face. It was small, but irritating. Somehow he seemed to know more than the people listening to him. The man was enigmatic. When he paused, his glance wandered across his auditorium, at the few people that were sitting in front of him. They admired and dreaded him at the same time. He seemed pleased by the expressions on their faces, which conveyed feelings of fascination and fear.
“They are all trying to influence you. They want to make you think that what they say is right to think. Don’t believe them,” the speaker made another pause. His smile grew wider. “Consider the facts and make your decision,” he continued softly. He rose from his chair and started pacing through the dimly lit room. His face vanished in the gray shadows, leaving him somewhat more unreal than he already was. “It’s a difficult time. There are so many different opinions, so many theories. The sun, the wind, nuclear, oil and coal: everybody has a different solution. But you know better, don’t you?” He spoke up, seemingly addressing each of his listeners personally. “Your minds are free of all the propaganda that the industries put about.”
The listeners nodded, slowly, convinced that the speaker’s words were right. His ideas would lead to real progress. In the auditorium sat a young man who caressed a little piece of green crystal with his thumb. This was his day, the day of his initiation. He had brought it, the piece of crystal that would make him a true and important member of this group, unlike so many others. It had cost him a lot; the fight with the original owner of the crystal had been rough. He had proven to be the stronger, finally. His adversary was dead now and wouldn’t be found before the river’s current dragged him to the shore again. He was content with his work; he had added a vital part to the building of the new world. Soon he would get up and hand the crystal over to his incredible boss. He smiled.
* * *
Finding the right tree had been less complicated than Clark had thought. It was much more difficult to look at Lois without wanting to touch his lips against hers. He had desperately tried to dismiss the thoughts that were involuntarily coming to his mind. Hadn’t he promised himself to be careful? Hadn’t he wanted to withdraw before things got out of hand? But that was precisely the problem. He hadn’t been with a lot of women and he didn’t know how far was too far. Now it was too late, Clark had crossed the threshold and was already lost. He was in love and he would be until the end of time. The only problem was that hell would freeze over before he became Lois’ lover.
No…Clark shook his head. That was the least of his problems. Lois didn’t love him and he would be grateful if they even really became friends. The real issue was that he wasn’t able to predict Becca’s reaction. After they had been on their own for about five years now, she wasn’t going to accept Lois easily. He could understand that. Becca might feel replaced and maybe she would be afraid of losing his love. He didn’t love Becca less because of his feelings for Lois, but would his little whirlwind understand? Maybe she would even mistake his friendship with Lois for an attempt to replace her mother. Clark could only hope to convince Becca to understand and Lois to return his feelings. He didn’t actually expect his dream to come true; that was too much to ask for. Clark sighed. He had to put a loving relationship with Lois out of his mind, as hard as that would be.
Clark was just unpacking the things he had bought when Becca appeared next to him. He stopped storing the food in the fridge and waited for her to say something. She looked up at him, obviously not completely sure how to voice what she wanted to say.
“Come on, pumpkin, spit it out,” he said gently, giving her a warm smile.
“Does she have to be here?” Becca asked, shifting uncomfortably. Clark knew at once that Becca was speaking of Lois, and honestly who else could she have meant?
“I invited Lois,” Clark explained. “You remember that she helped us yesterday, don’t you?”
Becca nodded, but she didn’t seem convinced. “You don’t really like her,” she stated.
“Becky, honey, that’s not true,” he replied with a sigh. “I do like Lois. When you were asleep, yesterday, we decided to try and be friends.”
Becca gave him a shocked, disbelieving glance as if he had started cooperating with the enemy.
“Oh, pumpkin, please don’t look at me like I’ve betrayed you.” He kneeled down in front of Becca and gently brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “You know how important you are to me.”
“You kissed her!” Becca said accusingly.
“It was just a kiss under the mistletoe, Becca.” Clark hoped that he wouldn’t blush and he was glad that Becca had only seen and not felt the kiss. Otherwise, there would not be the slightest chance that she would agree to his statement. “It didn’t mean anything beyond that.” At least so much was true, Clark mused. He might be longing for a meaning that went deeper than the superficial Christmas kiss, but there hadn’t been any. “I’ve kissed her, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to marry Lois. And I don’t think she would agree for that matter.”
“Good to know that you got that one right, Clark,” Lois mentioned from behind.
Clark groaned and got up. “Really, Lois, once more exactly at the right moment, how do you do it?” he stated wryly, but smiled at her. Clark looked back at Becca who seemed a bit more content with the situation. “See, Becky? There’s absolutely nothing to worry about, the two of us can be grateful if we manage to remain friends,” Clark commented. “How about the two of you decorate the Christmas tree while I start cooking?”
Lois watched father and daughter and bit her lip. She had once again put her foot in her mouth! She admired Clark for his ability to make up for her mistakes. He shouldn’t have to do that, but somehow Lois stepped from one terrible situation right into the next one. She gave Becca what she considered a reconciliatory smile. The girl studied her thoroughly and Lois felt indescribably exposed. Strange as it was, it mattered to Lois what Becca thought of her. She couldn’t help but be afraid of Becca’s decision concerning her. This seven-year-old girl had a strange power.
“Come on, Becca, will you help me with the tree?” Lois asked and held out her hand invitingly.
Becca strolled over to her, but she didn’t take Lois hand. Instead, she went right past her and into the living room where Clark had set up the Christmas tree.
* * *
Dinner went by without any noticeable incidents. Becca had announced that she wanted to play Parcheesi after dinner. Clark wasn’t so sure if this was a good idea. He had tried to make Becca change her mind about it, but it was to no avail. Becca had loved the game from the moment they had first played it. For Clark, it was always hard work because he knew that Becca was a sore loser. That alone would not have been so bad, but she always became furious when she noticed that Clark was cheating in order to put her in a better position. Not that it was easy to actually cheat in that game without anyone noticing it. Clark only hoped that Lois could cope with losing a game, but he wasn’t too optimistic about that.
Becca had just disappeared upstairs as Clark started cleaning the table. His powers had gradually started to return throughout the day. He had noticed it mainly while he was cooking. His hearing had become better and better, his vision was almost back to normal and he didn’t get any burns regardless how hot the pot was. That relieved Clark and he was finally able to relax. He was glad that his powers didn’t kick in suddenly; otherwise he might have had problems to control them. He couldn’t really fly yet, but that didn’t worry him too much. All in all, Clark felt ready to cope with Becca and Lois together at a table. He had handled worse situations, hadn’t he?
Lois had volunteered to help him get the dishes into the kitchen, but Clark had told her she was a guest. So he had poured her another glass of wine, before he had left Lois alone in the living room. It didn’t take long until she followed him, though. Maybe she was afraid of her Christmas tree result, which was actually frightening to someone who didn’t like Christmas. Becca and Lois had decorated it beautifully, but maybe it was just a tiny bit ornate. Clark didn’t really know where the tinsel on it had come from; maybe Lois had bought it somewhere? Chances were good that Becca had talked her into it. She was crazy about tinsel, but that was about the only wish that his mother had never fulfilled.
Anyway, the Christmas tree was a real beauty. If the sight of it didn’t distract Santa so much that he fell from his sleigh, Clark didn’t know what would. For a Christmas newbie like Lois, Becca’s enthusiasm had to be intimidating. He grinned at her as she entered the kitchen, her glass in hand.
“Is it always like this?” Lois asked. “Your daughter is so brimmed over with joy, that I can hardly believe it. Doesn’t she get tired?”
Clark laughed at the comment. “Well, I guess she’s using my bad conscience against me. I feel somewhat guilty for not being able to take her to Smallville this year. And I think that my little whirlwind is far more tired than she would ever admit.” Clark remembered what Lois had told him about her previous Christmas experiences. “You know, with my Mom and Dad, Christmas has always been special. The whole family would meet and we went to church together. My mother prepared a fantastic meal and made the world’s best apple pie. I felt so safe with my family, so absolutely sure that they loved me. I guess I still get this warm and fuzzy feeling around the end of the year.”
“I’ve never seen you so relaxed before, Clark. You can really enjoy Christmas, there is nothing forced about it. How do you do that?” Lois wanted to know.
“Years of practice, Lois,” he replied. “Come on, let’s join Becca. I’m glad that you’re here this evening. It would have been lonely, just the two of us.”
“But she doesn’t like me, Clark,” Lois said somewhat miserably. “Children don’t like me.”
“She needs time, Lois. She doesn’t know you. Becca is shyer than she seems to be. Over the years, the two of us have traveled a lot, to various parts of the world. Not all the people we met could speak English and she had problems making friends. So she depended on me. I am her father, her mother, her big brother and her best friend. She’s afraid of losing me, but I think it will get better with time,” Clark explained and approached Lois. He laid his arm on her shoulder and smiled at her affirmatively.
The two of them went into the living room where Becca was already waiting. She had placed the board on the table and had put the pawns on the board. Becca had chosen the red ones. Clark and Lois sat down at the table. He handed Lois the box so she could decide which color she preferred. He noticed her longing glance towards the red ones. With an almost inaudible sigh, Lois took the blue ones. Clark chose the yellow pawns, happy that Lois hadn’t started a war right there and then.
He handed Becca the dice. “The youngest player starts.” Lois rolled her eyes, of course Clark would let Becca do first. She was a child, more precisely she was *his* child.
Becca grinned and held the dice in her fist as she whispered something to it. Then she shook her hand and threw the dice. It rolled across the board and showed a five. Becca’s face looked rather disappointed. Lois smiled. Her hand wandered over to the dice, but Clark stopped her.
“Oh, no, Ms. Lane. No cheating, here. Becca is allowed to throw the dice three times,” Clark said teasingly. He watched his daughter, who wore a broad smile, as she grabbed the dice again. She repeated her ritual another two times, but it didn’t help. The dice refused to show a six. Becca pouted.
Lois took the dice and threw it. She got a six. Becca squealed, disgusted and her pout became even more exaggerated. Lois didn’t notice it because she had started doing a little happy dance. She moved her pawn on the start position and threw the dice again. Another six! She repeated her dance and moved six spaces forward. Becca looked at her, miserably. Lois threw the dice again and got a five. Clark closed his eyes. He could virtually see Becca’s miserable expression. Lois had been able to move 11 spaces. Becca would catch up to her soon, but there was no way she would see that now.
“That’s not fair!” Becca exclaimed, angrily.
“I’m just good at that game.” Lois shrugged and smiled at Becca. The girl returned the glance with daggers in her eyes. Fortunately, Lois didn’t even flinch. She just watched Becca and for a few moments it looked like they were trying to see who would give up first. Clark remembered the game that he had used to play with Lily. Look into the other’s eye until one starts to laugh. And Lois did indeed the same with Becca. Lois lost. She started giggling.
Clark was so distracted by the two of them that he almost missed his turn. Only when Lois’ and Becca’s hands landed in his side in order to wake him up, did he notice that he had to throw the dice. Clark carefully weighed it in his hand. He knew that the chances for a six were smaller than those for any other number, and he really hoped that the odds were on his side, this time. Fortunately, he didn’t get a six either. The pout on Becca’s face, which had diminished during her silent battle with Lois, got even smaller. He grinned, content and handed the little girl his dice. Becca tried a new ritual and obviously it helped. She could move her pawn as well.
The game went on and slowly more and more pawns moved on the board. But with their increasing number, Lois and Becca entered another stage of their battle – bumping. While Clark carefully avoided moving his pawns on an already occupied space, Lois and Becca made an art of it. They thoroughly enjoyed the fight, watching each other, trying to predict the opponent’s next step. Clark wondered briefly if it would be necessary to step between them. But he noticed that both Lois and Becca had a lot of fun, probably more than he was having, appeasing the two.
Clark leaned back in his chair and watched the girls. Briefly, he imagined what it would be like if both were *his* girls. Every now and then they returned to their silent game: staring at each other, intensely. Most of the time, Lois lost. Becca was incredibly good at it.
“You’re not concentrating, Daddy,” Becca complained.
“I am concentrating,” Clark disagreed, and returned his attention to the board. All four of his pawns were back in the starting position, while Lois and Becca had both managed to save two of theirs.
“Obviously,” Lois stated wryly. She shot a glance at Becca, winked and smiled. Becca returned the gesture. “Would you at least try, Clark? Or do you enjoy losing against two weak girls?” She had that mocking tone that Clark remembered from his schoolyard days.
“So, you think I’m not trying, huh?” Clark replied and kissed the dice before he threw it. He got a six. A little later, Clark’s position was getting increasingly better than it had been before. He smiled. “And you think I’m not trying?” he said teasingly.
Lois and Becca glanced at each other conspiratorially. It didn’t take long before Clark had lost all the progress he had made. Lois had allied with Becca.
“Noo, Clark. You’re not trying,” Lois stated, grinning. They started to laugh.
In the end, Becca beat Lois just before she could win. She was hardly able to stifle her yawns and Clark shook his head, as she wanted another turn.
“Time for bed, pumpkin,” he said softly. She protested, but he didn’t change his mind on that. “Go brush your teeth, honey. It’s way past your bedtime.”
Becca murmured another couple of arguments, but she knew that Clark wouldn’t give in. Clark watched her strolling to the bathroom and smiled at the sight of it. Trust her to fall asleep standing somewhere and to still claim that she wasn’t tired.
“Do you want to return to your hotel, or would you like to stay overnight?” Clark asked Lois.
She shrugged. “Maybe it’s better if I leave. I’m paying an awful lot for that room and last night I didn’t even sleep there.”
“Whatever you prefer… I’d like to get a chance to prove that I’m a better host than I was yesterday. It’s your decision. But I can’t walk you to your hotel. I can’t leave Becca here all alone. Of course I could call you a cab,” Clark offered. “I’ll just take her to bed. It won’t be long,” he said and got up. Becca had appeared next to him and had taken his hand.
“Come, Daddy!” she announced.
Clark nodded and followed Becca upstairs. As soon as she was in her room, she jumped into her bed and Clark sat down beside her. He pulled up the covers and kissed her softly on her forehead.
“Good night, pumpkin,” he said, gently.
“Daddy?” she asked.
“Yes, pumpkin?”
“Will Lois stay here, tonight?” Becca wanted to know.
“I don’t think so, Becky,” Clark replied and ran his hand over her cheek, softly. “I guess she’s going back to her hotel.” Clark bent down to her and whispered in Becca’s ear. “I’m all right, again.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Really?” she asked, happily.
“Yeah. I think we can visit your grand-parents, tomorrow,” he said in a low voice. Becca embraced Clark, overwhelmed and kissed him.
“That’s great!” she whispered.
“Yeah, it is, honey. Close your eyes and sleep now, Becky. Santa won’t come if you’re not asleep,” he murmured and blew a kiss on her cheek. Becca was already asleep.
* * *
When Clark returned downstairs, he noticed that Lois had left the living room. A soft gust of wind met his face. Clark used his x-ray vision and saw Lois on his balcony. She looked up into the dark sky of Metropolis and sighed. Clark couldn’t help his curiosity and listened to her. She was whispering, incoherent words that didn’t make much sense. But what he heard made him think of the day before. She wanted to see Superman, and honestly, he wanted to see her as well, dressed in that suit.
It was silly and Clark knew it. He knew that he needed her to see Clark, not Superman. Superman didn’t have a daughter; at least he couldn’t tell anyone that he did. Clark wasn’t free in the way Superman was. Unfortunately, both men were completely and utterly in love with Lois Lane. He had tried to fool himself long enough, but there was no other way to say it. Clark couldn’t ignore it anymore. There was no way he could ignore the rush of happiness that cursed through him whenever he saw her. Clark had to accept the cruel truth. He was deeply in love with a woman he had just agreed with to be just friends with. There was only very little chance of changing that and to make her return his love. But even if that should happen by some mysterious twist of fate, how was he supposed to explain it to Becca?
Clark stopped in his tracks and watched Lois Lane staring into the dark sky, wishing he was there with her. Wishing that she’d look at him like she had the previous evening. He swallowed hard, to get rid off the lump that had built up in his throat. She was so adorable, so amazing and so beautiful. He remembered her teasing Becca, the two of them staring at each other. He saw Lois giggle. He had never actually liked giggling girls, but with Lois it was different. Really, Clark couldn’t mistake this for anything else. It was love.
A split second later, Clark had made his decision. He stepped onto the balcony. Lois turned around and looked at him.
“It was a nice evening, thanks,” she said softly. She looked at him, but not in the way Clark wanted her to look at him. She smiled, but it wasn’t conveying the bond between them, like he had felt it yesterday.
“I enjoyed it as well. Lois, may I ask a favor? I need to go out and get something… Could you please stay here until I return? It won’t take long. I’ll call you a cab, later. Or you could change your mind and stay here, if you like.”
Clark couldn’t believe his own words. He was willing to leave in order to be able to cheat on himself. He was losing his mind, he definitely was. He gave Lois his best puppy dog eyes. That was even more ridiculous. He wanted to pull her in an embrace; he wanted to feel her body against his. But he knew that she wasn’t ready for that, she wouldn’t let him.
Lois nodded. “Of course, Clark.”
“Becca is asleep; I doubt that you’ll have problems with her.”
Clark thanked Lois and turned around to leave. Not for long, he told himself, just a few minutes to be close to her. He grabbed his coat and keys. A moment later he was outside.
* * *
Superman was hovering above Lois Lane, and slowly landed on his balcony. Clark’s balcony – he reminded himself. He wasn’t quite used to that secret identity thing, yet. From above, Lois looked even more adorable. Her slender frame seemed so fragile, but Superman knew that the woman he stared at was strong. Stronger than anyone he had ever met before. And when she recognized the man above her, the expression on her face changed. It turned into the one he had been longing to see the whole day through.
“Good evening, Lois,” he said, his voice firm and self-assured in his heroic persona. His feet touched the ground.
“Superman!” she whispered. She blushed and looked down in order to hide it.
“I hope you are doing well.” He was behaving so foolishly. He wanted to see her, but he didn’t really know what to say.
“Yes, Superman,” she replied.
“Merry Christmas, Lois.”
“Merry Christmas, Superman. You know Christmas?” she asked, surprised. “Do you celebrate it as well? Where you come from, I mean.”
Superman chuckled, but didn’t reply.
“Where do you come from?” Lois wanted to know. “Why don’t you fly during the nights? I mean, hardly anyone has ever seen you doing that… Can’t you fly at night? But you are…flying I mean. And it’s dark, isn’t it? What is your favorite food, if you eat, that is? Do you need to eat? Are you human? Or from another Planet? Oh, Superman! There is so much I want to know about you!” She stepped closer to him and he could read on her face that she was afraid that he’d pull away. He stayed.
“So many questions…” he said, smiling. His smile was very brief, though. It faded as he realized that he could hardly answer a single of them.
“Oh, please Superman, I want to know everything about you! You’ve appeared so suddenly and nobody knows anything about your background.”
*Neither do I,* he thought miserably. “I’m here to help, Lois. That’s all I can say for now.”
“Can I quote you?” Lois whispered.
Superman nodded, he wasn’t capable of much more as he saw the movement of her delicate lips. Those lips that were messing up any coherent thought he had tried to have since he had been standing under that mistletoe. Too bad there was no mistletoe on this balcony. Unbeknownst to him, Lois was thinking exactly the same.
Suddenly there was a terrible noise that attracted his attention. He couldn’t help but clutch at his ears. Cries for help destroyed the peaceful night and pierced his ears like needles. Superman groaned. Lois watched him, anxiously.
“What is it, Superman?” she asked, scared. “Are you all right?”
He flinched, trying to regain his composure. “I need to go…Many people need my help,” he said. “They are crying for me. Good night, Lois.” Superman turned around and lifted off into the sky.
Lois watched him in complete amazement. She knew that she was one of the few persons who had seen him fly into the darkness. And she was even surer now that he hadn’t been in her hotel room accidentally the day before. But how did he know where she was? She would ask him that the next time she saw him. Lois glanced at the dark sky. She knew that he would return.
The End
of Seeking Heroes
