|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292
Kerth
|
OP
Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292 |
I really loved that 'cure'. Lois threatening Clark with jumping from the rooftop - and even bluffing him - is asolutely great. The perfect cure.
Of course, Lois' reasoning is more than just sound. I couldn't agree more.
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791 |
Hurrah! I *like* this scenario. Lois standing up for love, and forcing Clark to see the truth of the matter. I like the threat of jumping, too! She knew he wouldn't let her fall, no matter what he said.
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864 |
I enjoyed this. I think it was effective particularly because of the line drawn in the sand. She's right; you can't play house. If Clark hadn't intended to marry her then he shouldn't just hang out pretending nothing has changed. That's why Perry was so uptight in the first place.
And shame on Clark--just sitting around and watching her to see if she's bluffing or not. If she hadn't been healthy enough to make it up the stairs, then I suppose he wouldn't talk to her. Now that's a lunkhead.
Elisabeth
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 101
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 101 |
Hi Tank, I SO thought that you were going to pull a "Tank Ending" when Lois crawled up to the roof. Whew! I like your ending much better than the show's. Write On!  Anne
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 320
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 320 |
Yes, Like Anne said, you had us worried for a second on the roof top. And also agree that this is much better than the show. That episode always bugged me too.
doublel
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1 |
Yay, Tank! About time somebody hit Clark over the head with a bar of Kryptonite and pounded some sense into him. I always thought his so-called logic in that episode was full of holes.
Nan
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166 |
She could feel her heart tearing in her chest as his words stumbled out of his mouth. He was leaving her; just like every other man she'd ever allowed herself to love. She was so stunned that she couldn't speak. Did he even understand what he was saying? What his stupidly twisted nobility was doing to her? No... The idiot supreme lunkhead of the universe. Her eyes blazed and she spoke through gritted teeth. "I'm deadly serious. You get your shiny spandex-covered butt back here as soon as possible... or you can let me die."  "I said, Come." Without another word, she entered the stairwell and made her way back into her apartment. You tell him, Lois! Well, I thought you were going to pull a Tank ending and have Clark leave forever. Loved it!
~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Tank!!! You know I always keep a weather eye on the horizon for a new fic from you. But this: I've been reading Metro's 50 first dates and have been enjoying Lois' plight, but the story also reminded me of that final scene in Contact. I found myself revisiting the episode on the DVD the other day and was so irritated by that scene again that it inspired my to write this 'the way I wish it would have gone' fic. This is in no way meant to intrude on Metro's fic, nor do I have any clue as to how she plans to resolve the issue in her story. I'll wait to see that like the rest of the folcs. As for this. It's just a way to deal with my irritation of that episode's final scene. Wow! Thanks Tank! I'm thrilled that you've been reading and enjoying, and I don't think you intruded at all... However, to be honest, I only allowed myself to read the first few paragraphs... for now. I try not to read anything that might sway me when I'm writing a fic. So I forced myself to stop reading after a few paragraphs. It was horribly hard to do... especially since it looked so good and intriguing. But I've added it to my must read list - and I promise when I get 50 First done (or at least fully fleshed out) I will be back to give it a proper reading (complete with fdk). It was that final scene in Contact that inspired 50 First from me as well. I just wanted to scream when I was watching it the first time... wait... I think I did scream.  Thanks Tank! I'm honored I could help play a small part in inspiring this from you and I can't wait to read it.  -- MR 
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
Oh, Tank...you are a hopeless romantic! I love that Lois laid it on the line for Clark. "Okay, here it is. Since I assume that your little speech from earlier this evening effectively rescinded your marriage proposal, I'm now asking. Marry me... or walk away... forever."
A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye. "I'm not strong enough to see you every day at work and pretend that we're 'just friends'. It has to be all or nothing. Either you want me or you don't. And if you don't, one of use has to leave." Why don't men understand that when they break our hearts, we don't want to be friends. I think that this was nicely put. Good job Tank and maybe you should market your "cure".
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
Hehehe! I loved it!!! She was Lois Lane; she fought for what she wanted... and what she wanted was Clark Kent.  One of my absolute fav lines from this. The kind I like to keep to use as a signature line. Yep. Definitely likely to use this one - with credit, of course. "Lois, I..."
"Shut up!" She crossed her arms over her chest in a pose more familiar of Superman. "I had to listen to your idiotic ramblings earlier tonight, but now I get my say. You can sit, or you can stand, I don't care, but you are going listen." And I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed that one! Lois telling Superman to shut up. It's just priceless!!!! Wonderful alternate scene. MUCH better than the one from the episode. Thanks!!
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Ah, Tank, I love you!!!! (No... that wasn't a marriage proposal. Besides, come to think of it, I'd have to kick you out every time you came up with a new Tank ending.) But I hope you can feel the virtual reality kiss on the cheek that I'm sending to you through my computer! "I know that you have to go, but you come back as soon as you can. I mean it. This isn't over." She took a quick breath which did nothing to ease the constriction in her chest. "I'll be watching the news so I'll know when the emergency is over. You come right back here, or I swear I'll go up to the roof of this building and throw myself off so you have to come back to rescue me."
"Lois, you aren't serious."
Her eyes blazed and she spoke through gritted teeth. "I'm deadly serious. You get your shiny spandex-covered butt back here as soon as possible... or you can let me die." Yes!!! She loved him, lunkhead that he was, and she was certainly not going to just slink off to some corner to lick her wounds. She was Lois Lane; she fought for what she wanted... and what she wanted was Clark Kent. Yes!!! She glanced over to the far side of the room where a certain small brown teddy bear was lodged up against the wall.
"Sorry, Clarkie, it's not your fault. I just needed to vent my frustration." Poor Clarkie! As she closed the door behind her she could feel his presence. So he had come. He was hovering up in the sky somewhere watching her building. Idly, she wondered how long he would have stayed; waiting to see what she was going to do. Like Elisabeth already pointed out, would he have just ignored her if she hadn't been healthy enough to make it up the stairs?  Without looking in any direction, especially up, Lois made a beeline for the edge of the building. She had reached the short parapet that encircled the rooftop and began to climb up onto it before she felt the rush of extra wind that his landing produced.
"Lois!"
She stopped, climbed down from the small wall, and walked back toward the roof door. "Come on, we'll go back to my apartment. It's too cold up here to have our *discussion*."
Out of the corner of her eye she could she him shaking his head. "Lois, I..."
"I said, Come." Without another word, she entered the stairwell and made her way back into her apartment. That's telling him!!! "Lois, shouldn't you be in bed?"
"Probably." She nodded toward the couch as she entered the living room. "Sit."
"I'd rather stand."
"Suit yourself."
"Lois, I..."
"Shut up!" She crossed her arms over her chest in a pose more familiar of Superman. "I had to listen to your idiotic ramblings earlier tonight, but now I get my say. You can sit, or you can stand, I don't care, but you are going listen." Sit! Heel! Play dead! Obey your mistress. No, Clark, you really shouldn't be Lois's lapdog, but right now you deserve that punishment. I admit that I had some personal commitment issues to work out, but I never questioned my love for you, nor doubted your love for me. Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps your love wasn't strong enough to deal with those difficulties we both knew would crop up. Maybe you don't really love. That is the only explanation I can come up with for your actions." Yes, that's what was killing me about "Superman II". I felt he didn't truly love her at all. When the going got tough, his love for her counted for little. In the end, he was just happy to be rid of her. "If you want to distance yourself from me as Superman, that's fine. It's probably even a good idea. But how do we do that? Well, I suppose you could spread your exclusives around a bit. Let other reporters besides Lois Lane and Clark Kent get some of the headlines." Good idea. She got up, walked to him and placed her hand on his chest. "But do you know what I think the best way for people to perceive a distance between Lois Lane and Superman? It would be for her to be in an acknowledged hot and heavy relationship with someone else. Someone like her hopelessly clueless partner." Well, in the LnC universe, where the laws of nature prevents anyone from noticing that Superman is obviously Clark Kent, it's probably a good idea for Lois to deflect everybody's suspicions that she's having relationship with Superman by marrying Clark Kent! Clark stared at the ceiling for a moment before meeting her eyes. "But, Lois, you know that Clark Kent is Superman. What if someone drugged you, or somehow forced you to reveal that information? It would make it even more dangerous for you to be with me, in either guise." Yes, well, I remember a comic book from the sixties, where Lois found out about about Superman's secret identity, and guess what? She talked in her sleep and gave away his secret that way! Conclusion: Don't ever tell Lois Clark's secret!  (Or maybe people were just looking for reasons not to let Lois in on the secret, and for reasons not to let Lois and Clark be together. ) "Are you sorry that I found out?"
He shook his head. "No, I've hated lying to you. But surely even you can see how our relationship would put you in even greater danger."
"Baloney. I know what I know and there's no going back from that. But I'm not worried about the incredibly small chance that anyone who would want to take me to use against you would think to try and extract the secret of your true identity from me. A secret identity that they'd have no reason to believe exists. No, the best way to reduce the inherent level of danger that exists from just being your friend is to been seen as distancing myself from you by being in a monogamous and committed relationship with someone else. Like, maybe being married to someone else." Yes, baloney, Clark! "Okay, here it is. Since I assume that your little speech from earlier this evening effectively rescinded your marriage proposal, I'm now asking. Marry me... or walk away... forever." Yes! Yes!! Yes!!!! A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye. "I'm not strong enough to see you every day at work and pretend that we're 'just friends'. It has to be all or nothing. Either you want me or you don't. And if you don't, one of use has to leave."
She could see the agonized look on Clark's face. "Lois it doesn't have to be like that." Yes, it does!!! You super-lunkhead!!! She watched the display of emotions as they played across his face. She held her breath. Finally he gave his head a barely perceptible nod and spun into his Clark Kent persona. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she knelt down in front of him and looked up at his face with watery eyes. She took his hand in hers.
"I don't have a ring handy, but, Clark Kent, will you marry me?" Lois goes down on her knee and proposes! I love it!!! For the first time that day, she saw a smile on his face. He reached down and lifted her up. "Yes, Lois, I will marry you."
"Oh good." She slumped into his arms. He quickly picked her up. "I wasn't sure I was going to make it much longer. Now kiss me and put me back to bed. I feel like there are some demented blacksmiths pounding away inside my head." Oh, so adorable!!! Clark laughed, but then complied with her wishes. "Lois Lane, you are incredible, do you know that?"
She gave him a coy smile back. "Yes I do. Now, let's just hope that you never forget it again."
Clark laid her down on her bed. "Well, if I do, I'm sure you'll be there to remind me."
She reached up and pulled him back down for another sweet kiss. "Bet on it." Absolutely wonderful last words!!! Brilliant, Tank! Now, about that marriage proposal.... Ann
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
I love Contact re-writes where Lois gets a chance to yell at Clark. He was such an idiot! :rolleyes: Way to go Lois for staging an ultimatum!
JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
[evil giggle icon]
Demented blacksmiths, eh? Since I'm prone to headaches like that, I can appreciate the extreme amount of effort Lois had to put into executing this plan before she fell over and passed out. And it's the kind of thing I would have expected of the volitile, passionate, quick-thinking, determined Lois Lane I prefer. I have always believed that her docilty in the 'Contact' episode was partly due to her injury, but then has anything other than death (and sometimes not even that) stopped Lois Lane?
Very nice rewrite, Tank. This deserves a Kerth nomination, no matter which year it's eligible.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 404
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 404 |
I loved this. What I hated about the Contact ending was never that Clark broke up with Lois, it was the stupid idiotic logic he used and the fact that Lois let him get away with it. It pissed me off that Lois let him fly away while she stayed behind crying her eyes out because thats just not Lois Lane. Clark said it himself that she was pigheaded, domineering and brilliant and this rewrite did a great job in showing that. Im also very glad that this story didnt have a tank ending although theres probably an alternate ending in the works 
Procrastinators unite! Tomorrow.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
She would need her wits for the coming battle. Too often, Clark, would let his misguided sense of noble sacrifice for some imagined greater good cause him to act stupidly. He had a tendency to be a real lunkhead some times. She would need to counter with logic, and never give him a chance to mount any defense. She loved him, lunkhead that he was, and she was certainly not going to just slink off to some corner to lick her wounds. She was Lois Lane; she fought for what she wanted... and what she wanted was Clark Kent. Yes! This is the Lois we know and love. Thanks for this, Tank. I've often thought myself that Lois reacted to Clark's announcement uncharacteristically. Good story!
lisa in the sky with diamonds
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great piece! 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702 |
That was great! I completely agree, Lois Lane wouldn't have just let him walk away while she licked at her wounds.
Jackie
Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Just perfect. A much better resolution. Great job tank. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,437
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,437 |
Great alternate ending to the episode!
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
Whoa! I found a party!  I saw this huge cluster of posts, so had to go read the story. Great story Tank. I agree that was a stupid move on Supes part. Hmmm, maybe Contact will vie with TOGOM for most rewrites? Good work.  Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
|
|
|
|
