|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 320
Beat Reporter
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 320 |
Oh man, for a pushed story this is sooo excellent. I can't give a lengthy review right now, cause I'm at work reading it between working. Sooo Sad. Having lost both parents, I can feel his pain. Excellent job. I'll be back.
doublel
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Oh Smirky...
I just don't know what to say. This part was so heartrending.
I hope you give poor Clark some relief in the next part, or the part after that. He needs Lois. His powers are coming back. He needs to get in one of those spare suits and go let her know that Superman is alive and well and let her hold him. I mean, I'd rather he go to her as Clark and spill his guts, but if he won't do that, then he needs to go see her as Superman.
Sniffle, sniffle...
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 544
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 544 |
What an excellent part...so very sad. It moved me to tears. It should have been cloudy, stormy, or dark. Things shouldn’t be so bright—not while Jonathan Kent lay dying.
Martha had him sit down, and together they talked to Jonathan. They talked about hard times, good times, happy times, sad times. Both she and Clark had to stop more than once due to the threatening of tears.
About the first time Clark had gone into superspeed, and Jonathan had had to search half the night to find the boy, who was huddled in a neighbor’s cornfield, lost and terrified.
About watching football on their old television set, and the time when Clark got so excited he floated right up to the ceiling and broken his head clean through the plaster before realizing that his feet had even left the ground.
About countless evenings of laughing, talking, or just sitting there in loving, comfortable silence after a good day’s work.
Words floated through Clark, hardly touching him--only brushing past before fading in empty air. He just watched his father. Watched the faint rise of his chest with each breath.
Clark felt like glass, sitting there. Brittle glass, heated so hot and then stuck under a stream of freezing water. He was going to break, to shatter, to scatter into a million pieces. He didn’t know what he was going to do. This was just...Wow! I'm speechless. Beautiful writing! Let's see some happier times for Clark and Lois soon.
Silence is golden.
Duct tape is silver.
~Saw it on a T-Shirt.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
Oh my...that was so sad. I just never get used to Martha and Jonathan dying. But, maybe Clark will find strength from his father's words and go to Lois, tell her the truth, open up to her because she needs him and God knows he needs her now more than ever. It was as if Jonathan was waiting for Clark to start healing and expressing his feelings, then he could go on. “I—I love you, Dad. I…I might be a hero of the world, but…I’m nothing. You made me…you made me the man I am. I…I love you Dad.” That was probably the last thing Jonathan heard and then he could be at peace.
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763 |
Man. I'm lost in what you wrote. I can't believe the depth of pain, memory and sadness you brought to my monitor. I'm mad at the Lane parents, but not as sad as I am for the Kents. About the first time Clark had gone into superspeed, and Jonathan had had to search half the night to find the boy, who was huddled in a neighbor’s cornfield, lost and terrified. I like how you put memories, little bits, one after another. This one really tugged at me. “I—I love you, Dad. I…I might be a hero of the world, but…I’m nothing. You made me…you made me the man I am. I…I love you Dad.”
Jonathan Kent’s heart pattern flat-lined. I wonder if he was waiting for Clark.  Thanks!
I've converted to lurk-ism... hopefully only temporary.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Brilliant, Rachel. And heartrending.
The juxtaposition of the nature of Lois's relationship with her parents versus the nature of Clark's relationship with his parents was so poignant, but it was made almost unbearable by the fact that Jonathan died. Sweet, kind, caring Jonathan, wonderful father figure to his lost little alien orphan foundling.
At the same time, I felt how Clark will be absolutely obliged to go on fighting now. Jonathan believed in him. He can't let his father down, especially not now.
Nothing will ever be the same, Clark. But there is a light in the tunnel, if you will only dare to see it. If you will only dare to fight for it.
Beautiful, Rachel.
Ann
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 151
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 151 |
Hi,
I've only just started to read this story and this episode was just too moving.
Poor clark, my sympathies go out to him.
Looking forward to reading more.
Regards,
SNL
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,514 Likes: 29
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,514 Likes: 29 |
Jonathan is dead  This was a touching chapter, Smirky Raven. And I loved it, though it almost left me crying in front of my screen. (Not good, the PC doesn't like wetness too much.) I enjoyed every bit of it. Lois meeting her parents was...I lack words to describe it. And of course the scene in the hospital was awful, but wonderful. I always praed for someone to save him, but ofcourse I knew that it was too late. Fantastic writing, SmirkyRaven
It's never too dark to be cool. 
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 320
Beat Reporter
|
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 320 |
Hi Smirkey, I'm back with a more detailed review. Can't wait for today's Chapter right?  “Ah, yes, you’re fine,” her mother said, her voice rising. “But do you bother to call us? No. We have to hear that you’d come back from that blasted newspaper you work for, and then you aren’t even home at this time in the morning! Where were you anyway? You look awful.”
You look beautiful, Superman had said, in that void of the white room. She had looked worse then, but he had still thought her beautiful.
“It’s not like you missed me anyway,” Lois spat, finding her keys at last and pulling them out with a furious jingle. “You found out I was back the same way you found out I was missing in the first place. It’s fitting, if you ask me. I’ll mark my life by the paper, and everything important I do will be tabbed by it until the day of my death. And I’ve been busy.” This is such a true representation of love. When you love someone so deeply as a parent, a lot of times it seems to come across as b*t#h^ing, but the safety of a child is a parents #1 priority and life, and here I think Sam and Ellen, are truly concern for Lois' safety, but they are so used to bickering and blaming, it's a broken record for Lois to hear. Lois chooses to think about Superman "You look beautiful" and how he was soft and touching to escape her parents drone. His eyes…so afraid, but he had still been trying to get up when she returned. He was stronger than anyone even knew. Foolish man. Very powerful writing Smirkey, will she recognize that same fear in Clark's eyes? Clark’s parents had come all the way from Smallville, and despite the fact that Clark had gone through quite a bit himself, it seemed, and had to deal with his father’s illness at the same time, Lois couldn’t help but be jealous of him.
He had his mother. Lois hadn’t known Martha Kent long, but she was the kind of mother she had always wanted. She was understanding, caring, accepting…Clark clearly cared for her as much as she cared for him, and they didn’t mind showing it. You've had their love too Lois, you just haven't realized it yet. “Are you sure you’re okay?” “I’m fine. I’ve got to go to work,” she said, trying for her frustration, irritation…all of that. Without that she was just too tired… Come on Lois they're trying in the only way they know how. Cut them some slack. Something in her gave a slight twang, but she stifled it. And no matter how hard we try to be independent, it still hurts Clark hovered uncertainly above the washed-out body of the man he knew as his father. He watched him dying, helpless as his mother held Jonathan’s hand and murmured soft nothings, her voice shaking. A very helpless feeling. Martha had him sit down, and together they talked to Jonathan. They talked about hard times, good times, happy times, sad times. Both she and Clark had to stop more than once due to the threatening of tears.
About the first time Clark had gone into superspeed, and Jonathan had had to search half the night to find the boy, who was huddled in a neighbor’s cornfield, lost and terrified.
About watching football on their old television set, and the time when Clark got so excited he floated right up to the ceiling and broken his head clean through the plaster before realizing that his feet had even left the ground.
About countless evenings of laughing, talking, or just sitting there in loving, comfortable silence after a good day’s work.
Words floated through Clark, hardly touching him--only brushing past before fading in empty air. He just watched his father. Watched the faint rise of his chest with each breath.
Clark felt like glass, sitting there. Brittle glass, heated so hot and then stuck under a stream of freezing water. He was going to break, to shatter, to scatter into a million pieces. He didn’t know what he was going to do.
His life was falling apart. this was beautifully written But even that kind of goodbye is better than none at all.
He sat down next to his mother again, and reached forward with a shaking hand to take his father’s.
His hand was cold.
“Dad,” he whispered, reaching up to fix the covers a little higher. “D-dad, I—”
The heart-monitor beeped away.
“Can you hear me?”
They always said that they could. I believe that
“I—I love you, Dad. I…I might be a hero of the world, but…I’m nothing. You made me…you made me the man I am. I…I love you Dad.”
Jonathan Kent’s heart pattern flat-lined. Counting, waiting, balancing on the edge of nothing… Smirkey, you've written like you've experienced it first hand. If so, my sympathy's goes out to you. I have experienced this, and you've captured it very well. But no. It didn’t fade. It was true.
And there was no waking up from this. Very true. It's not like breaking up with someone, and though you know you'll know you never see them or talk to them, they are still walking the face of the earth, and it would be possible to see them again. But with death, that's it. No phone calls, no sharing silly things, no hugs. Only that memories do turn into smiles instead of tears after time. He would never see him again. Never ever evereverever. He would never see his father at his wedding. He would never be able to bounce Clark Jr. on his knee, like he had lightly teased Clark about. All true to the response above this. And never get to see your grandchildren play trumpets in jazz band, playing the swing and big band music that you loved. (Sorry, personal note, this story is really getting to me, second time around) How did people do it? How did they go on? How did they survive? He had seen tragedy enough in his life, but he had never felt it so closely--never had it happen to him. Time does head, it never goes away, but it does get easier I can try. I can hope. That was all he could do. Do what his father would want him to do…because he was his son. No matter what, he was his son. And a fine son at that! Sorry for all the quotes. This was a really excellent chapter! doublel
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 37
Blogger
|
|
Blogger
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 37 |
Hi!
What a tearjerker chapter!!!
The hospital scene was excellent!
A very powerful chapter, especially the hospital scene where you describe Jonathan's death. All those feelings and more go through your mind when someone you love dies. Very heart rending!
Looking forward to more soon!
G. Kuhn
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234 |
Thank you thank you thank you everyone! I'm glad I'm not the only one that cried during this chapter. I tell you, I was sitting here bawling my eyes out at 2 a.m while I was writing it. <passes around the tissues> The next chapter should be up later this evening--probably within six to eight hours, depending on whether I want to make this a normal-lengthed chapter, or the longest chapter I've posted so far. We'll just see, I suppose. <crosses fingers> SmirkyRaven
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
lisa in the sky with diamonds
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 320
Beat Reporter
|
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 320 |
Okay, I'll stay up late!
doublel
I need something to dream about
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 234 |
Eh. Bad news. The family swept in and I was kept in ropes and chains away from my computer for most of the evening. So it looks like this chapter's being postponed until sometime tomorrow (since right now it's approaching midnight for me and I'm still not quite done writing the chapter yet...let alone editing it). Sorry again about the false advertising, or whatever. I hope you have sweet dreams anyway, doublel. SmirkyRaven
|
|
|
|
