From Part 4:
“So do you think I should wear a mask?” Clark wanted to know.
“Heaven’s no! If someone thinks that you’ve got to hide something they’ll only be determined to find out about it. Just remember Becca!”
Clark nodded. He did remember that and honestly, how could he ever forget it?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
For LaraMoon
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Part 5:
2 years ago...
Clark was worried about a lot of things. His sorrows never seemed to fade. Becca was just one of them, but definitely the worst. It wasn’t anything that was wrong with her, a fact which should have relieved him. After all, he dreaded that something might happen to his little girl that he could not prevent. It wasn’t Becca’s fault that he was concerned about the future. She was just a healthy little girl. But that was exactly what caused his trouble. She was curious and with every day this trait increased.
He didn’t need to be careful anymore that she swallowed things by accident. Becca didn’t haul out everything that was stored in his cupboards. And she had already understood that the cooker was hot. But she was just developing her social skills. Not so long ago she had started to really notice the differences between them. Unfortunately, there was more to it than just the fact that he was an adult and male. He didn’t want her to find out about his strange abilities too soon in her life. And according to him, *never* would be just the right time. Lily had never known, so why should Becca? But Clark wasn’t that naïve. He knew that he couldn’t hide it forever.
Right now Becca gave him a hard time, because she wanted to know everything. She wondered why his kisses were scratching in the morning but didn’t right after breakfast. The beard had to come off, but she didn’t know how. Clark didn’t let her catch a glimpse of his shaving habits. But he couldn’t keep her completely ignorant to this mystery. Jonathan wasn’t hiding his razor and so Becca found out how men usually shaved. And recently, she had started to wonder why she had never seen a razor in Clark’s bathroom. Since he was always short on money, Clark couldn’t waste on something he didn’t need at all.
Becca’s questions became more and more frequent and there were enough pitfalls for Clark to stumble in. What had started as a little curiosity had slowly turned into a landslide that threatened to destroy his camouflage. Becca was smarter than he had bargained for and he was helpless against it. Despite his mother’s warnings, Clark did his best to hide his being different from Becca. He didn’t really want her to know because he was scared to death that she might be afraid of him. What if she found out that he was stronger than she ever would be?
Clark couldn’t afford to let her find out. What if she told someone? At least he was always claiming that this was the reason. It was one of those half-truths that plagued his way of life. The most recent threats to his camouflage were Becca’s nightmares. She searched for shelter in his bed and Clark really liked to comfort her, but he himself couldn’t fall asleep, because he was likely to float involuntarily. And what was Becca supposed to think when she saw that her father was sleeping in mid-air?
Several sleepless nights had left Clark very tired. He knew that he’d need to sleep sooner or later. He couldn’t stay up much longer and Becca’s nightmares still hadn’t stopped. He had to find a solution to the floating problem. He was almost desperate, when suddenly it occurred to him that he could tie himself to the bed.
Clark was working on the bed after having searched his whole flat to find strings or something similar. It had almost driven him crazy since he wasn’t actually the “tie yourself to bed” kind of guy. It hadn’t been that difficult before, because Becca kept sleeping in her own bed, which had been a crib, but she was too old for this kind of bed. She could slip underneath his covers now whenever she liked to. Clark had to be careful.
He moved the mattress back into place and grinned, content with his work. Tonight, he would be able to sleep. He was glad that Becca hadn’t come into his bedroom. She would surely want to know what he was doing, and there wasn’t a good explanation. Clark sighed and wondered what the next problem would be.
~ ~ ~
Becca didn’t always understand her dad. He was behaving strangely the last couple of weeks. He seemed to be nervous and moreover he wasn’t as gentle to her when she needed to sleep in his bed as he used to be. He wasn’t exactly unfriendly and she wasn’t afraid that he would send her away; she just had the impression that he felt uneasy somehow. Becca didn’t understand that, because there wasn’t any difference between now and previous times.
She just knew that she was only able to sleep when he was around. She dreaded the darkness. There were thousands of shadows that seemed so threatening. Her daddy had explained to her that there was nothing to fear, but she couldn’t help it; Becca didn’t feel safe without him. The night light on the other side of the living room wasn’t helping at all. Between her and Clark was an armoire that separated the room into two parts. Her daddy slept in the smaller section where the spiders preferred to settle. But even the spiders were nothing compared to the dark shadows of the night that grew into monsters when she was alone.
Becca sat on her bed. She listened to the faint sounds of the night. When she concentrated she could hear her daddy’s even breathing. He had told her a bedtime story, hours ago, and she had drifted off to sleep, but it hadn’t taken her long to wake up again. She had opened her eyes and the shadows had been as frightening as ever. Becca had tried to close her eyes again. She wanted to forget about the shadows, but they remained around her, no matter how hard she tried to block them. She wanted to be brave, as brave as the knights were in fairy tales. Becca silently wished that she would be like those heroines her daddy had told her about.
But she was a coward and though she blushed at the realization, Becca couldn’t help it. She didn’t want to get out of bed, because she dreaded having to fight her way through the shadows. But on the other hand, she couldn’t remain in her bed either. She wanted to feel her father’s solid body. She didn’t want to be alone. Becca swallowed hard and pushed the covers off of herself. She shivered with fear. There were only a few steps until she reached her daddy. She gathered all her courage and started running. She knew the way by heart so she didn’t need to see too many of the evil shadows.
Becca sighed with relief as she saw her dad’s back. He looked like nothing could bother him and he could lend her the courage that she didn’t have. With him, she was strong. Becca imagined him as the invincible knight of the fairy tales. In her fantasy there was a strong, silvery gleaming aura around him that scared the shadows off. His presence was enough to make them vanish into nothingness. But if he wasn’t there, they were able to return.
She climbed into bed and slipped under his covers. He didn’t stir. Becca pressed herself against him; she needed to hide inside the silvery aura so that the shadows could not get her. Her dad’s back was as firm as ever and comfortingly warm. But somehow her position wasn’t so comfortable. She lay on something that she didn’t recognize. Becca had never felt anything similar in her daddy’s bed. Her hand touched something that resembled a rope. Why would a rope be in her daddy’s bed? Her small hands followed the rope. Under it she felt her father’s belly. The rope was wrapped around him. Becca’s brows furrowed.
Had his silvery aura vanished and the shadows could get him? Becca wasn’t sure, but why else should there be a rope around him? She didn’t understand it, but the rope annoyed her. It prevented her from getting closer to her daddy. Maybe he needed to be saved from the shadows? Her heart sank. She wasn’t brave enough; she wasn’t the heroine she would have liked to be. But she couldn’t leave her daddy tied up like that. Becca knew where the scissors were. Again, she gathered all her courage and took a brave decision.
~ ~ ~
Hours later Clark was awoken by an ear-piercing scream. He fell down, startled and looked into a pale face. Becca’s eyes were wide and she stood next to his bed, frozen in place. Her mouth was gaping open and she was looking at him in shock. Clark could only guess what had happened. He heard the thud from something falling down. The only light came from the moon and it gave him only a faint idea of Becca’s current appearance, but he knew what she had seen. He’d been floating in his sleep and had fallen.
“Becca,” he whispered. It was a moment of sheer agony. She had found out and now stared at him, terrified. Clark felt like he was dying at this very moment. His own feelings were even beyond fear. Panic wasn’t the right word to express it. He was utterly lost. Could he address her or would she be afraid of what he really was? If he himself only knew what he really was! Human? A Russian project? Or something completely different?
“I…I…I’m so…sorry,” Becca stuttered, her lips shaking with every syllable.
This took Clark by surprise. He had been about to apologize, to beg for her love. He had already opened his mouth to say something, but his mind had now gone blank. Her apology had blown every thought away and left him hanging in the air. He looked at her, bewildered and confused. She seemed so completely horrified, it was heart-wrenching.
“Th…they…to…took you!” her voice was low, but still there was this squealing tone to it. She was shaking violently and watched Clark who was sitting on the edge of his bed now. He ran his fingers through his hair, not knowing how to explain his floating to Becca in the middle of the night. He couldn’t send her to bed again; it was too late to escape this situation. It was time for the truth. And he needed to know what Becca was talking about.
“Nobody took me,” he said hoarsely.
“The shadows,” she whispered. Suddenly she jumped on his lap, pressing her small frame against him. “I…I’m not brave.” She sobbed and leaned against him.
Involuntarily Clark laid his arms around his little girl and started to whisper soothing words. Guilt and fear were partially replaced by warmth and tenderness.
“The…the shadows! Scare them off.”
“There are no shadows, honey,” he replied gently.
“I…I didn’t know that you needed the rope to protect you. I thought the shadows had done that to you.” Clark saw the scissor lying on the floor. Becca had cut the rope. He knew that she was afraid of the darkness. He reached for the lamp on his nightstand and lit it. Her imagination was vivid and she had problems separating reality from the things that only existed in her fantasies.
“Nobody took me,” Clark repeated and swallowed hard. This was the point of no return. “I was floating in my sleep. It happens accidentally sometimes, it’s not because of the shadows.” Clark bit his lip. Could he dare call her honey? Would she still grant him that after she had found out? Clark felt sorry for deceiving her.
“Really? How?” she asked, breathlessly. The moonlight painted her face in various shades of gray. Clark could only imagine the dark brown color of her eyes. He had to be hallucinating because what he saw in them seemed to be a loving expression. Becca couldn’t be caring for him, could she? Not after she found out how different he was.
“I…I…don’t really know. I have been able to do that since I was about eighteen.” He looked at her briefly and prayed he would wake up from this nightmare. He didn’t. Becca’s eyes remained on him, studying him thoroughly.
“Show me,” Becca said. Obediently, Clark floated towards the ceiling, Becca still on his lap. “Can Grandma and Grandpa fly as well?” She wanted to know.
Clark shook his head. “No, honey, they can’t,” he mumbled shakily. “I…I’m dif…different. I…I can do some things that other pe…people can’t do.” Clark returned down on the edge of his bed and really tried to look in Becca’s eyes. He managed to do so for several seconds. What was she going to think of him? Would she be afraid? Sure she would. He couldn’t manage to be the father that she needed. He was going to disappoint poor Lily who had been there for him when he had needed her. He had never trusted her enough to actually tell her his secret. Maybe he had only been scared to death because he had always dreaded a moment like this. Now that it had arrived, it wasn’t any easier with Becca than it would have been with Lily.
“Are you a wizard?” she inquired, curiously. Her eyes examined him as if she was expecting that little stars would spread out of his fingertips. Clark shook his head. The idea almost made him laugh.
“No, I’m not a wizard. I don’t know what I am,” he replied.
Becca shook her head. “You do,” she said. “You’re daddy!” She embraced him and kissed him, making him forget all the doubts he had had.
“I’m Clark,” he protested weakly and tears of relief streamed down his face.
to be continued...
