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Meanwhile, comic book Superman flew North Pole-wards, slightly unsteadily. As he flew, his belly ballooned, he grew a magnificent white beard and his blue supersuit turned into Santa's outfit.

"There you are," Mrs Claus greeted him.

"Who are you?" said Comic Superman Claus.

"He's got amnesia again," muttered Mrs Claus. "Like the last fifty years."

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And as the comic book Santa turned into Super Santa, Lois and Clark flew towards Metropolis.

They flew quietly, neither knowing what to say to the other. Lois had hurt Clark. Clark had hurt Lois. What would they do?

Finally Lois said, "Clark, I..."

At the same time, Clark said, "Lois..."

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"I love you," they both said, in tandem.

"You do?" said Clark.

"You do?" said Lois.

"Yes," they both said, simultaneously.

"So..." said Clark.

"So..." said Lois.

"Are we still married?" asked Clark.

"Aren't we?" said Lois.

"Do you still want an annulment?"

"Do you still want Mayson?"

"Who, me? Hey! I never wanted that, I just..." they shouted in chorus.

"Then shut up and kiss me, husband!"

"Shut up and kiss me, wife!"

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They shared a long, slow and very passionate kiss.

With smoky eyes, Clark looked at Lois lovingly. "Your apartment? Or mine?"

Lois looked at him with pure love, "How about somewhere else all together. Somewhere where Tempus, or HG Wells, or Jimmy, or the Prankster, or anyone else can find us."

Clark smiled broadly. "I know..."

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"What??? This igloo?"

"It's my Arctic Fortress of Solitude," Clark said proudly. "I just built it. Come in. It's cosy and warm. And look - I just found this blanket...."

"Ughh - it smells like an old horse cloth! Oh well, with you everything gets romantic, I guess. You may unwrap your Christmas present, Clark!"

And Clark began gently unspinning his cape, which Lois had wrapped around her. Underneath she wore - not much....

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But just then Superman heard that a tsunami was hitting Southeast Asia, and he left, leaving Lois with only a cape to wear and nothing to do but...


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...divide that cape into seven parts, so that she could dance the dance of the seven veils, as she awaited the return of Superman.

Meanwhile, at the North Pole, Mrs Claus and the elves had a bit of trouble with the amnesiac Super Santa.

"Yes, you should wear that read coat! No, you shouldn't shave first! No, you shouldn't fly 7,777 times around the Earth to burn off some excess fat from your belly!"

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"And, yes, you will marry your (Comic) Lois Lane."
With a puff, Comic Lois Lane appeared as the proper Lady she was, which returned Super Claus' memory. Mrs. Claus quickly asked Super Claus "Superman, will you take this woman, Lois Lane, as your rightful wife?"

"Yes, I do."

"Lois Lane, will you take this Superman as your rightful husband?"

"Is he really Superman?" Mrs. Claus and Super Claus nodded. "Yes, I will."

"I hereby declare you..."


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Meanwhile, whilst Clark was flying away to deal with the Tsunami, he heard Mrs Claus and he laughed and laughed.

He knew that he could not wait to get back to Lois and tell her of Mrs Claus's Angst and Joy

All he was pleased was that His Lois was HIS! He worked like a trojan to get back to his own Mrs Kent...

==========

Season's Greetings to you all! dance

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At the North Pole, Super Santa was as confused as ever.

"In some parts of the world it's already December the twenty-second," said Mrs Claus. "We'd better hurry up! In three days it's Christmas Day!"

"Hurry up...?"

"...and fix the presents!"

"Presents? I give people presents?"

In a flash of rotund red, Super Santa was gone. He returned almost immediately, carrying sea-shells, dandelion bouquets and jam jars with flies and tadpoles.

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"Will these do?" He asked hopefully. The only thing Comic book Santa wanted to get to his Lois so they could have their honeymoon... Of course, being a silver age comic book character, he had absolutely no idea what that involved except that it involved doing it without clothes.

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Meanwhile... Lois was decked out in the seven veils and awaited Clark...


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"No, these are not the kind of presents people will want for Christmas," Mrs Claus said sternly.

"No? Oh, I know!" And Super Santa drilled into the North Pole ice and uncovered an enormous coal deposit underneath. He brought up tons of coal (turning himself pitch black) and started super-squeezing. Soon, millions of diamonds sparkled on the ice. What nice presents they would make!

"Ugh! You'd better take a shower in the sun, Mr Coal Miner!"

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The comic book Superman said innocently, "Do I have to be clean to do that naked thing with Lois?"

Mrs. Claus couldn't help but chuckle. She didn't think anyone could be this naive. "I think Lois would prefer you be clean. Now you scoot and get all clean. These diamonds will do nicely. Diamonds are a girl's best friend, you know."

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So Super Santa shot like a coal-black streak up into the atmosphere, away from the Earth and into the Sun. As he emergead from the Sun again, he was clean, but... oh, my! He was naked, too! blush

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Then, again, this was exactly what he wanted to be - eventually. So he hurried to Lois and tried to explain to her that she didn't have to bother with undressing him.

Lois, being the proper lady she was...


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...stopped him.

"Whoa, buster! Not that I don't want you exactly like that, but this is the PG folder... and trust me, you'll regret it if we do this before getting married first. So will you marry me?"

"Yes!!!"

"Okay, and I will marry you, too. Mrs Claus! C'mere and get us married!"

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"I know pronounce you husband and wife." The comic Superman and Lois Lane were ushered into a bedrooom so they could complete their honeymoon. Mrs. Claus clucked, "Now you have all night to figure out what to do but come morning you have to come back to work and help deliver all these diamonds."

We now switch to our Lois and Clark...

Clark returned to find Lois bedecked with seven veils. And they *did* know what to do.

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So they proceeded to do it, and so, by the way, did comic Superman and comic Lois. The squeals of utter delight from the comic honeymoon suite had to be heard to be believed. (Not that there weren't all kinds of whoops and sighs and giggles from the other honeymoon suite, too.) But this is the PG folder, so I'm afraid we don't get to hear these fascinating sounds.

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So the next morning, comic book Supes had to return to the workshop to help get all those diamonds and other gifts ready for delivery. Comic book Lois hung right on his arm. She was definitely a happy bride.

Since it wasn't quite Christmas or Christmas Eve yet, our Lois and Clark needed to return to Metropolis and report their whereabouts for the last couple of days. They came up with a plan saying they had been following a story for the past couple of days.


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Up at the North Pole, comic book Superman and Lois found it very hard to concentrate on their work in the Christmas present factory. They kept giggling and blushing and trying to sneak kisses and reaquainting themselves with some extra fabulous parts of each other's bodies. Mrs Claus got quite irritated with them. It was also hard to make comic book Superman work on making cell phones and computer games, since he insisted that such contraptions didn't exist.

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