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Part 19/20
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Her entire universe had narrowed to the man lying lifeless on the floor. She had just experienced the warmth of his skin from inside him. She had felt the blink of his eyes and the rise and fall of his chest. She had been him. It seemed impossible to her that he could be gone. Lois bent over him, breathing frantically into his mouth. There was no response. "Please don't leave me," she whispered. "Not like this."

Feeling desperate, she looked up at the officer who had pulled Clark off of her. He was still staring at Clark with stunned disbelief. "Help me!" she begged him. "Please, we have to help him."

The man seemed to snap out of his daze and took off his helmet. He knelt next to Clark and started chest compressions. "One and two and three," he counted.

She bent down and pinched Clark's nose, breathing into his mouth.

"One and two and three." Another breath. Still no response.

After another round she stayed with her ear near his mouth. She felt the whisper of the air leaving his lungs and she was terrified that it was only due to the chest compressions forcing the air back out. She waited through a few agonizing seconds and then felt another puff of air from his mouth.

Hope flooded through her. "Please," she whispered. "Please come back to me."

An EMT touched her elbow. "We'll take it from here, ma'am."

She didn't want to move away from him but she was too drained to protest when an officer pulled her to the side. She watched as the EMT efficiently put an oxygen mask on Clark and then sliced through the suit to expose his chest. Another medic used a stethoscope to listen for a heartbeat and Lois thought she might faint from sheer relief when he nodded and gave a thumbs up.

They moved him onto a gurney and she darted over to take his hand as they raised it and began to wheel him away.

"Ma'am, you have to let us take him."

"I won't leave him." She clung to his hand, wishing he would squeeze hers back or give some sign that he was going to be okay.

"We can't allow…"

"I won't leave him."

"Let him go, Lois. I'll have someone take you to the hospital, okay?"

Lois looked over to see Henderson standing there, his hands on his hips. She reluctantly let go of Clark's hand and they wheeled him rapidly away.

"You don't look much better than he does. Come on," Henderson said as his expression softened, "let's get you checked out." He took her elbow and led her outside. She saw the ambulance pulling away. Its lights were on but there was no siren. Henderson, seeing the expression on her face said, “That’s a good sign, Lois. It means he's holding his own."

Henderson walked her over to an officer standing by a patrol car. "I want you to take Ms. Lane here to the hospital. Make sure she gets checked out and then make sure she gets to see Superman."

"Yes, sir," the officer replied.

<><><>

The beam made contact with him in mid-air. An uneasy sensation shot through him, spreading rapidly as he began to fall towards Lois and Crowley. The sensation became more intense, radiating through his arms and across his chest as he deflected the knife's trajectory and gathered Lois against him protectively. As they fell to the floor he felt frozen, unable to move, and then suddenly he felt lighter, smaller…

…dizzy and nauseated. He opened his eyes and saw himself, kneeling on the floor in front of his couch. His hair was wet and his expression was full of tenderness. "Let's take a look at you," he said gently.

Clark watched in amazement as his hand, now small and pale, was turned over to reveal a cut on his palm. Not my palm, he told himself. This is Lois' hand. No sooner had he completed the thought than she pulled her hand away and he heard her speak. Only it was him talking. It was like… he was Lois.

"No really, don't waste your bandages. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine," he heard himself say. He didn't feel fine, that was for sure. He felt icy cold and absolutely miserable. Was that because he was soaking wet?

"I," he started and then swallowed back the nausea rising inside him. "I don't feel so good. I think I swallowed too much water."

"Can I get you anything?"

He shook his head vehemently, the movement only made him feel more dizzy and nauseated. He stood up quickly, pushing past himself and ran to the bathroom. After a few gut-wrenching heaves he sat down heavily, coughing as tears came to his eyes. He rose on wobbly legs and grabbed his toothbrush, put a little toothpaste on it and brushed his teeth. Another wave of nausea overcame him and he sank back down to the floor, sitting close to the toilet, just in case.


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Nearly two hours passed before she was released from the ER with a clean bill of health. Lois was both frantic and furious. The policeman who had brought her to the hospital had long since left. No one would tell her anything about Superman. She had made the rounds of the information desk and several nurses stations but they all shook their heads and said they were unable to help her.

Then she spotted Henderson at the end of a hallway and she ran towards him. "Where is he?" she demanded when he turned to see who was running in his direction.

"Calm down, Lois, and I'll take you to him."

"How is he?" She tried to make her words sound calmer but, even to her own ears, she sounded anxious.

Henderson's mouth tightened into a thin line. "He hasn't woken up yet, but he is breathing on his own." He led her around a corner and she saw a set of double doors with two guards standing outside. "They put him in this wing, he's the only patient. The hospital doesn't want a media circus so they won't be releasing any information about him nor will they allow visitors."

They stopped in front of the guards. "This is Lois Lane," Henderson introduced her. "She's allowed in. And so is Clark Kent when he shows up." One of the guards nodded and made a note on his clipboard. Henderson opened the door and led her halfway down the corridor before he pointed to one of the rooms. "He's in there. The nurses come by about every hour to check on him. I'll make sure they know that you're allowed in there."

"Thank you." Lois swallowed hard, afraid of what she was going to find when she opened the door.

Henderson nodded and turned to leave. "When he wakes up, tell him we're all pulling for him."

Lois pushed the door open and tentatively went inside. The first thing she heard was the steady beep of his heart monitor. They had him hooked to several machines and an oxygen canula lay beneath his nose. He was in a hospital gown. He was as pale as the sheets he was lying on. His hair seemed to be the only color in the room.

"Oh, Clark," she whispered as she came close enough to touch him and found that his hands were icy cold. She had thought that seeing him would be reassuring but this bleak reality was almost more than she could bear.

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The weight of his hand on her belly was making her teary-eyed. It's just hormones, she told herself. It's not because you're starting to like the idea of a miniature version of Clark running around or holding your hand. It's not because you're in love with this man and he's touching you. Maybe you're just sad for that putz, Ken.

And then he bent down, moving his hand so that he could softly kiss her stomach. Every nerve in her body came alive and she threaded her fingers through his hair, content in a way she had never felt before. Clark turned his head and rested his cheek on her belly, smiling up at her. She returned the smile, her eyes welling with tears. Damn hormones.

"You should get going," she reminded him gently. "I'll go home and change and meet up with you at the Planet."

"Okay," he said reluctantly. He lifted his head, hesitated and then leaned in to kiss her softly, his lips lingering against hers as he spoke. "Will you have dinner with me tonight? I really need to talk to you."

"Yes," she nodded. "I'd like that. We should talk. Or… not talk…" Her hand closed over the back of his neck, pulling him in for one more kiss. She teased his lips until he opened his mouth so she could chase the taste of his coffee deeper into his mouth.

He reluctantly broke the kiss and rose to leave. "Tonight. If you're still talking to me after we talk, we won't talk at all."

She laughed as she watched him climb the stairs. "I'm not sure that even made sense."

"I blame you," he said, turning at the door to smile back at her. "I can't think straight around you."

"Then it's unanimous. You'd better wipe that silly grin off your face before you see Ken's body."

His grin widened. "I'm not smiling about Ken."

"I know. Hey, Clark?"

He leaned his head back inside. "What now?" he asked in mock exasperation.

"Nothing," she giggled. "I just wanted to see if you'd come back."

"You'll never get rid of me." He winked at her and shut the door.


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"Lois?"

She looked up, startled, to see Inspector Henderson had entered the room.

"Lois?" he said again. "I thought you'd want to know that Rachel Eames is safe. She came down to the station a few hours ago."

"Rachel?" For a moment Lois didn't have the faintest idea who he was talking about or why she should care. Then she remembered - Rachel Eames, the scientist from STAR Labs who had nearly been killed by Bad Brain's rigged manhole cover. It was Rachel who had unknowingly set off a fragmentation bomb in Lois' personal life with her 'it's just buddy sex' suggestions. "So she's okay?" Lois asked numbly. "Where has she been?"

"In hiding. After her interview with Ken last week he warned her that Bad Brain and Mike Crowley were looking for her. He told her not to even bother going home and just to get out of the city. He gave her the keys to his cabin and she's been staying there."

"Ken did that?" Lois felt a small twinge of guilt. "I guess he wasn't such a putz."

"No, he was still a putz. I'm sure he was more interested in protecting a source than protecting her personally."

"At least you got them."

"Correction, we took Johnson into custody at the plant but Crowley wasn't around."

"Have you checked the tunnels?"

"We've been looking but, let's face it, there are hundreds of exit points. We might not find him right away."

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She was on a cold concrete floor in an emptily spacious room. The light overhead was flickering off and on. A large cramp overtook her and she groaned, wrapping her weakened arms around her abdomen as if that could stop the pain.

"Clark," she moaned. Wasn't Clark supposed to be here?

Another cramp seized her and she could feel dampness between her legs. Where was Clark? Shouldn't he be here by now? Had Bad Brain zapped him, too?

She needed to get out of here. Needed to get help. Needed Clark. She tried to stand but her legs buckled and she dropped to her knees. She could feel a gush of warmth running down the inside of her legs. She looked down and saw a dark puddle where she had originally fallen. Blood, she realized. It was too much blood. Her breaths were coming in short pants as she gritted her teeth against the pain.

The baby.

"No, please, no." Her ears were still ringing and the words were barely audible to her. She sagged back down to the floor again. She clutched her abdomen, keening cries escaping through her lips as she began to sob for the dark-eyed little boy she was certain she had carried. She would never hold him, never tuck him in at night, never kiss better his cuts and scrapes. Why hadn't she waited for Clark? Regret, as thick and real as the pain, coursed through her.

"Lois?" A hand touched her shoulder and, through her tears, she could see the bright blue of Superman's suit. "Lois, what's wrong? Are you all right?"

"I lost him," she whimpered.

"Lost who? Bad Brain?" Superman gently urged her into a sitting position as she shivered against the pain and the overwhelming sense of loss. Where was Clark?

"Oh god, it hurts." Please let him take her to Clark. She needed to tell him, needed to explain what had happened.

"It's going to be okay," Superman said as he started to pick her up and then seemed to think better of it. He pulled her across his lap as he whispered, "Oh no, Lois, honey…"

She put her arms around his neck and pleaded in a choked voice, "Superman, will you please take me to Clark? I need Clark."

"I'm here. I'm right here," he murmured into her hair as he wrapped his arms around her and rocked her gently. "It's me. I'm here. I'm so sorry. We have to get you to a hospital."

There was something off about his words, but she couldn't place what it was. "Please, Superman. Just take me to Clark." In her mind's eye she could see Clark from that morning, kneeling next to the sofa and placing that kiss on her stomach. She needed Clark. She needed that moment back. Desperation welled up in her, causing her voice to crack as she tried to make him understand. "I need to tell him, he has to know. It's my fault. This was all my fault," she sobbed.

Darkness was closing around her and the world seemed to lurch as Superman stood up with her in his arms. He was saying something else but she couldn't understand him. Why wasn't he listening to her? She just needed to tell him. "Tell Clark… please… I love him…"


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Lois spent the rest of the afternoon and the entire night holding Clark's hand as she replayed his memories in her head. She tried to memorize the sensation of being him. She tried to hold on to the countless little moments she had been given. When she closed her eyes she could recall the small details of a flight over Metropolis and the way his heart raced every time she smiled at him.

By the next afternoon she realized they were no longer his memories anymore. They had become hers alone. She knew she had shaded them with her own hopes and fears. But it was enough, for just those few moments to have been him. She had thought the world looked different from his desk; it was amazing to have seen it through his eyes.

A nurse came in to check on him. She looked at Lois and firmly suggested that she needed to take a break. "You don't have to leave the hospital, but at least go get something to eat. Take a walk and stretch your legs. If anything happens we'll page you overhead, okay?"

Lois reluctantly agreed and left the room. She wandered through the maze of the hospital, following the signs towards the snack bar. She picked a wrapped sandwich from the display and ate it mechanically, not even sure what kind of filling it had. On the way back to his room she became lost and had to backtrack several times. Why did they build hospitals to be so confusing? Wasn't it bad enough that most people who were visiting were already mentally taxed? Why go and make things harder?

She passed an alcove, glancing at the couple sitting inside as she passed. A few steps later recognition dawned on her and she stopped and went back. "Mr. and Mrs. Kent?" she asked softly.

The man's head lifted, his blue eyes meeting hers with surprise.

"You came," Lois said, her eyes filling with tears. "Of course you came, how awful for you. It was on the news, wasn't it?"

Martha opened her mouth but seemed at a loss for words. "They're such good friends," she finally said. "We knew that Clark would be worried…"

Lois sat down next in the chair next to Martha and then looked both ways up and down the corridor. No one was nearby. "I know," she whispered, reaching out to take Martha's hand. "I know his secret. He told me a few days ago."

Neither of his parents spoke, they only watched her warily.

"He didn't tell you," Lois said and wished she knew what to say next. "He didn't tell you any of it, did he?"

"Any of what, dear?" his mom asked.

"Clark," she started, noticing how they both sat up straighter at the mention of his name. "Clark didn't tell you that we, uh, we've become… um, closer… recently." Lois winced, realizing now why Clark hadn't said anything to them. Awkward didn't even begin to describe it.

Martha became almost instantly more alert and she leaned forward to grasp Lois' hand tightly. "How is he? No one will tell us anything."

"He's… he's not awake yet. I… Come with me." Lois stood up, still holding Martha's hand and helped her to rise. "They have guards on the room, but I'll get you in there."

When they got to the double doors of the unit only one guard was standing there. Lois told him that the Kents were with her. The officer looked at her dubiously. "That doesn't mean they're allowed inside."

"Get Henderson on the phone. He said the Kents had clearance to visit. Look at your list."

The guard looked down and mumbled that Clark Kent was on the list.

"Then it must be an oversight that they were left off. I'll take full responsibility," Lois told him.

The guard began to waver. They certainly didn't look dangerous and he knew a little something about Ms. Lane and her temper. "Okay," he relented. "But it's your butt on the line if Henderson blows a gasket."

Lois hurried the Kents through the door before the guard could change his mind. She led them to his room, closing the door softly behind them and then standing against it so that no one else could enter.

"Oh," Martha whispered, rushing to the bed and touching his hand. "Oh, my boy." She looked up at Jonathan with worried eyes. "He feels so cold."

Lois stayed near the door, watching sadly as Clark showed no signs of recognizing that they were there. Jonathan looked over at Lois. "What happened to him? The news only said that he was taken to the hospital and that his condition was unknown."

Lois shook her head. "He was…" …dead weight… She swallowed and tried again. "He was electrocuted by an electroshock weapon that had a Kryptonite lens," she explained.

Martha let out a small gasp and Jonathan grimaced at the mention of Kryptonite.

"He wasn't… breathing or anything afterwards. We did CPR and he started breathing on his own, but he's never…" Here her voice cracked and she gulped in air, unable to say the rest. She pointed at the machines next to his bed. "The doctors said that he has brain activity, and he's breathing on his own, it's just anyone's guess when he'll wake up."

"He's going to wake up," Martha said firmly.

Lois met her eyes and nodded. "I know. He has to."

<><><>

She put the tape in and pressed play. Bad Brain scowled at her and the screen went blank. She looked over at Clark's patio. No sign of him. How long would he be gone? She hit rewind and watched as Clark came speedily walking backwards out of her bedroom and set her down. They dressed each other rapidly, the clothes flying into their hands. As her bra went back on in reverse she blushed to think that Bad Brain, Mike and Ken had seen this footage. She stopped the tape when Clark got up off the couch and came into the kitchen.

She watched as he massaged her shoulders and her skin tingled at the memory. She remembered how she had almost fallen asleep at his gentle touch. On-screen he put his arms around her and she saw herself relax into his embrace.

The camera zoomed in at the same time that she leaned closer to the TV, fascinated by the way Clark's lips parted when her hand had caressed his thigh before moving around to his backside. She saw the play of muscles in his arms when they tightened around her as he bent to kiss the nape of her neck.

Their bodies had begun to rock against each other. She swallowed; her mouth went dry just remembering the way his body felt against hers. She saw her own mouth open in a gasp of pleasure as Clark's hand covered her breast. She couldn't see his face now, he was kissing the side of her neck, but she could remember how that had felt.

On-screen she turned in his arms and they kissed. God, he was such a good kisser. That was part of what started this whole mess. She had, of course, sensed where his hands were when they kissed, but now she could see the gentleness with which he had touched her and guided their kisses.

The kiss broke and he began to pull her shirt off. She stopped the video, unable to keep watching and horrified that someone else had seen something so private.


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Three hours later, Jonathan was dozing in the chair in the corner. Lois and Martha were sitting on either side of Clark, each of them holding one of his hands.

"How did he tell you?" Martha asked.

"I… uh, I'd been hurt. I'd been electrocuted by the same gun they used to do this to him. He came as Superman to help me and I asked him to take me to Clark. And he said it was him, that he was there. But at the time I didn't really understand what he meant. All I could think about was that I… really needed him. I just wanted Clark." Lois began to cry, bowing her head and pressing his palm to her cheek. "I really need him. I love him."

"He loves you, too."

"He did," Lois corrected her miserably. "The last thing I ever said to him was so mean. We both said some terrible things to each other. I was wrong. But he was absolutely right. Everything he said to me was true."

"What was your fight about? If you don't mind telling me, that is."

"I called him a liar and told him that he was arrogant and he said…" Lois shook her head unhappily. "And he said…"

"You don't have to tell me," Martha said, feeling guilty as she watched Lois struggle for words. "I'm just being nosy."

"I was a terrible friend to him. I used him, Martha. I tripped over myself to idolize Superman and ignored the most amazing, gentle, loving man I've ever known and I don't know what I'm going to do if he… if he doesn't…"

"He will." Martha came around the bed and wiped the tears from Lois' cheek. "He will. I'm absolutely certain that he knows that you're here. He knows you love him and he'll wake up."

<><><>

She swung her legs into the empty black space of the hole and heaved a sigh, feeling too tired to keep going anymore.

"Jump," he said from below her. "Jump and I'll catch you."

She hesitated. She knew he would catch her - that wasn't the problem. Equal parts longing and loathing raced through her. She was tired. It would be so easy to let him help her. Then again, relying on Clark for comfort is what had started this whole mess. And since that night, no, actually since almost the moment they first met, he had been lying to her.

Not just some garden variety lie either. It had been a big lie, one that he had taken steps to nurture and protect. He had been so calculating in how he hid himself from her. He was the reason she had pain, both emotional and physical, to begin with. Well, okay, maybe the physical was half her fault, but the emotional pain was almost entirely due to him.

"I can do it," she told him and reached with her foot for the first rung. She found it and leaned forward, reaching out to grasp the edge of the opening. At that moment a cramp shot through her and she let out a small groan even as her fingers scrabbled to hold on. She pitched forward, the side of her head bumping against the opening as she fell.

She hadn't fallen for more than half a second before he caught her, lowering her with him back to the floor of the tunnel. Space was limited and when he set her down they were still too close for her comfort. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"You seem to be asking me that a lot lately," she said, carefully feeling her head where it had struck against the opening. She didn't feel any blood, but the spot was tender. Wonderful, she thought, another bruise.


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"What was he like? As a child?" Lois asked as she watched the steady rise and fall of his chest.

Martha let out a long sigh. "I won’t say that he was perfect, but he came close."
"How old was he when you, uh, adopted him? How did that happen?"

"We were driving home one night and we saw a meteorite and went to check it out. It wasn't a meteorite, it was, well, I guess you could say it was a spaceship. He was maybe four or five months old. He was so cute and so obviously frightened. He had these wide, dark eyes and I absolutely adored him on sight. We took him home but we just couldn't bring ourselves to report finding him. I wasn't able to have children so he was like an answer to our prayers."

"He's lucky to have you."

"We're all lucky to have each other, really."

Lois smiled and brushed his hair back. Come back to me, she thought.

Martha had a faraway look in her eyes as she continued talking softly. "He loved to read. He had such an inquisitive mind. He was curious about simply everything. He'd take things apart just to see how they worked. It drove Jonathan crazy." She let out a small laugh and looked across the room at her sleeping husband, her expression full of affection.

"Did he put them back together again?" Lois asked.

"Well, he tried. Most of the time he succeeded in restoring them to what they were. Finally Jonathan had to put a moratorium on dismantling the farming equipment."

"So was he always, um, super? I mean, was he lifting tractors and stuff like that?"

"No, it wasn't until his early teens that he really started to be different from everyone else. Before that we just thought he was a tough kid since he never seemed to get hurt. He could fall from a tree and get up laughing. He knew he was adopted, but it wasn't until we realized how truly different he was that we told him how he came to us."
"How did he take it?"

Martha shook her head. "It really shook him. He had us show him exactly where we found him. After that he became more withdrawn. I noticed he spent a lot of time looking up at the skies. Jonathan always feared that he was a Russian experiment and that someday they were going to come looking for him. We had endless conversations about what might happen if people found out. Clark started to hide himself and all the things he could do. He became restless. He'd leave and not come back for hours. After college he broke down one night and told us that he felt like he didn't fit in anywhere. He started traveling but he never seemed to find whatever it was he was looking for. He'd spend a few months in a place and then he'd be off again."

"He's been in Metropolis for over a year now," Lois noted quietly.

Martha grinned at her. "Once he came to Metropolis we knew something was different. He'd only been here a few days before he came to me about making a disguise. I knew it was because he didn't want to leave."

"It's a great city."

"He doesn't stay here for the city, dear."

"Oh." Lois blushed but couldn't take her eyes away from his face. Had he really stayed in Metropolis because of her? "But I was so mean to him."

Martha laughed. "He's a very stubborn man."

"I guess he is. He never gave up on me." Come back, her mind urged him. Come back. Don't give up on me now either.

For a few minutes they sat in companionable silence. Then Martha cleared her throat. "So you two have been together for what, two months now?"

Lois looked away, feeling horrified and shy. "I, uh…"

"He stopped coming home to visit two months ago. He said he was busy. We guessed otherwise."

"Oh."

<><><>

He had to know this was a trap, she told herself. He won't come. Or he'll wait and get backup. But what if he didn't? Clark, she thought. Do it for Clark. Do it for Superman. The world can get by without you, but they need him.

Crowley had relaxed a little but she couldn't make her legs cooperate. If she could just duck, really fast, she might be able to slip free of the arm he had around her. She didn't have to get far - she knew she wouldn't get far. She just had to get Bad Brain to use the gun again. Every amp that he used now was one less to kill Clark with later. They were going to kill her anyway. She had nothing left to lose. Her heart ached as she thought of Clark, Superman, the baby… they were all lost to her. There was nothing she could do to make it up to Clark now. Nothing except spare him…


<><><>

At first he thought he was dreaming. He could hear them - three heartbeats as distinct and familiar to him as his own reflection. He opened his eyes, taking in the dim light of the room, the soft beeps of the monitors and the dark head lying near his left shoulder. In the corner of the room both of his parents were snuggled together in a reclining chair. The head lifted and he heard Lois make a small gasp.

"You're awake!"

"You watched that video," he muttered.

"Shhh." She stroked his cheek. "Your parents are here."

"I know."

"So it happened to you, too?"

"Mmmm."

"What else did you see?"

"I could have done without knowing what it was like to kiss Luthor." He gave her a weak grin.

She ducked her head and laughed ruefully. "I'm so sorry, Clark. For all of that."

"I know that. I hope you know…"

"I do," she whispered, stopping his words with a finger to his lips. "I know everything. It was weird… and amazing. It's like I was you."

He raised his hand to touch her cheek. "You are. You are everything to me."

She rolled her eyes. "I thought you were going to say I was your heart or something."

He wrinkled his nose. "That would be nauseating."

"You've made me sick before, give it a shot."

"Clark?"

His father had sat up and was nudging his mother into wakefulness. "Clark? Martha, he's awake." Jonathan rose from the chair and rushed over to the bed with Martha close behind him. He held his hand out to them. He felt weak and drained, but utterly happy at the same time.

<><><>

"…I hope you all will understand that I don't wish to take any questions at this time. I thank you for your concern and all of the well-wishes that have been sent to me here." Clark scanned the assembled press but didn't see Lois. His mother had been insistent that Lois go home and get some rest and it would appear his mom had won that battle of wills.

He turned and thanked the doctors and nurses who had cared for him, posing with them for one last picture before he waved and pushed up into the twilight sky. He still felt a little weak and dizzy, but he was pretty sure he could at least make it as far as home. He rose higher into the oncoming night until Metropolis was nothing but a twinkling collection of lights below him. He paused for a moment, letting the cool of the evening air rush past him. When he was feeling more like himself, he definitely had to bring Lois up here and let her see what the world looked like from here.

Then again, she might already know that. He sighed, thinking of how it had felt to actually be her. He had replayed those memories over and over until he was certain he had tainted them with his own embellishments. But the meaning of what she had seen and thought was not lost to him. She had been through so much - and it was all because of him. His carelessness, his lies, his words spoken in anger. Was there any way in the world that he could make it up to her?

It was incredible to him that after everything that had happened she still cared about him. Two days, his mom had told him. She had sat by his bedside for two days and waited for him to come back.

He focused on her apartment, able to pick it out from among the hundreds of thousands of lights below him in an instant. Her lights were on - was she home? He was too far away to see her, but it was enough to know that she was there. He looked over and found that his own apartment was also lit.

What had Lois told his mom? He wasn't sure he could endure one more knowing look from his mother. Then again, his parents weren't stupid. They had been just a shade too uninterested with his excuses for not coming home to visit lately. They had probably known all along.

Clark sighed and then rocketed towards home.

<><><>

Clark pushed his food around on his plate. More than anything he wanted to go see Lois, but he felt like he was fifteen again and trying to sneak out to meet Lana behind her father's barn.

"Have you checked on Lois yet?" his mom asked helpfully.

He looked up in surprise. "No, not yet. If you two are okay here, maybe I'll go over there for a little while."

His mom smiled. "Sure. We'll see you in the morning."

"Mom! I'm going to come back."

"Then you're a fool. You both need each other right now. I'm locking the door after you leave." She stood up and came over to kiss his cheek. "Good night, son."

Clark glanced at his dad, who just shrugged at him. The twinkle in his eye was unmistakable and Clark looked away.

This was worse than being fifteen and sneaking out to see Lana. That had been mostly innocent. The grins his parents were giving him were anything but. Best just to get out of there while he still could.

"It's not… going to be like that," he stammered. "We have a lot we need to talk about."

His mom's eyes turned serious. "We spent a lot of time in that hospital room talking, Clark. I don't know much about the fight you two had, but I do know that Lois loves you and she needs you just as much as you need her. Nothing else matters but that. So you talk to her, if you think you need to, but I think what she needs more than anything else is to know that you aren't angry with her."

"She knows that," Clark started but his mom cut him off.

"Go make sure she knows that."

<><><>

End 19/20


Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.

Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis