table of contents

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The smile faded from her face as the uncontrollable desire for him came to life again. She'd kept so many emotions at bay for so long. There had never been anyone she wanted or needed but this man. And that hadn't changed in over a decade. She stood and held out a hand to Clark.

"Let's put him to bed."

Clark almost jumped up, carefully cradling the Clark Jr. Lois laughed softly as she led the way to the stairs and up to the boy's room. Clark carefully tucked his son into his bed, kissed his face, and whispered, "I love you, son."

He straightened and reached to grasp the hand Lois held out for him. Neither said a word until they were standing beside her bed.

"I won't try to pretend I don't want something to happen," Clark told her as he gripped her waist and pulled her closer.

"I don't want you to." She started to pull his shirt from his pants.

"Lois, I haven't felt… desires in a very long time."

"Neither have I," she said as she lifted his shirt over his head.

"I was beginning to think I couldn't." He moaned as she smoothed her hands across his chest. He almost whimpered when she started fumbling with his pants. He grasped her hands to stop her.

"I thought you wanted this?" Her eyes reflected a little hurt and a lot of disappointment.

"I do, but if this keeps progressing at this rate it will probably be over before it starts."

"We have all night." She leaned and kissed his chest.

He once again stopped her by gripping her head and lifting it until their eyes met. "I'm not him any more."

"Show me who you are."

"That's the problem. I don't know."

"Then let's find out together." She pushed forward and kissed him softly.

Again, he drew away. "Lois, what happens tomorrow? You keep saying you're glad I'm home. What does that mean? Am I supposed to just move in here like I haven't been gone at all?"

"Clark…"

"No, Lois. Listen to me." He grasped her hands in his as he spoke. "For nine and half long years I was the only company I ever had. All that kept me going were memories. I dreamed of you, of my folks, my old life. At some point I came to accept that I'd never have those things again. Then I was pulled from that room and suddenly all of those things were right in front of me… only I had grown so bitter, so cold... liked I'd died inside. How could I come back to you if I had nothing to offer? I decided I loved you all enough not to cause you any more pain. So I resolved to stay away from you, but all that changed with one touch."

She pulled one of her hands from his to stroke his face. "And I don't want to stop touching you."

"I don't want you to stop, but Lois, I'm different. I bathe at least ten times a day, I change clothes four or five times, I eat enough for three men, I sleep on the floor because sometimes I just can't get used to sleeping on a mattress again."

"Clark, we can work all that out. These are things I can live with, now that you're here." Her hand smoothed down his neck to rest on his shoulder.

"But it may be too much, Lois!" His eyes pleaded with her to understand. He wanted her so much, but at the same time, he wanted her to know what she'd be getting herself into. He dropped his head back and took a deep breath. "Lois, I have a phobia about going to the restroom. I didn't get that privilege for a really long time," he pointed out seriously. "Now I go every few minutes and stay forever. You'll never know how degrading it was to have to use a bucket in the corner of room. And the smell… I smelt as if I were dead!"

"But you're not. You're here and you're clean, safe, and you always will be. Please, don't say you're going to leave me. I'd die. I can't lose you again."

"Oh, Lois." Clark lifted his hand to cup her cheek. "And I can't lose you. I just want you to realize that life with me won't be easy. So maybe we should slow this down. Maybe I could get a place and we could spend time together…"

"No, Clark!" He flinched at the tone of her voice. "You've been gone from me for ten years… ten long years. Each night I go to sleep aching to hold you. I wake up each morning aching to see you. You're here now and I don't think I'd survive if you lived even in the next apartment."

Clark drew back, unsure what to say.

"You don't have to… sleep in the same room with me and if you're not comfortable with starting a relationship right away, I understand. But this is your home and I'll be damned if I'll let you leave again."

Clark's brows rose. She was gasping to catch her breath, obviously this was a very serious matter to her. "Damn!" (

She looked at him with wide eyes. "Sorry."

He smiled and reached out to hold her face. "Don't be."

Her hand came up to cover his on her face. "Just say you'll stay. We'll work everything else out later. We can even crawl into bed and I can just hold you tonight."

Clark slowly lifted his other hand to hold her face, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. "Lois, I don't think I could lie with you all night and just hold you."

She moaned and leaned forward to kiss him softly. Clark surrendered and deepened the kiss. In a matter of only a few moments, both were surfacing from their encounter. Their clothes hadn't even been completely disposed of in their rush to reunite. He was looking down at her, his breathing heavy.

Clark lifted his hand to drag a gentle thumb across her cheek. "I won't apologize for that. It was incredible."

"It was... short, but awesome," Lois agreed with a satisfied purr. "Let's do it again."

Clark grinned down at her. "And again." He kissed her lips, then her neck. "And again."

"And again," she said with a giggle. Several hours passed before they fell asleep.

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Clark slept so soundly that night he forgot he was in a bed. He'd only slept in a bed a few times since he'd been out of his prison cell. Out of habit, he usually ended up sleeping on the floor. There was a lot to be said for being home.

His eyes fluttered open to see Lois looking down at him with a smile playing on her lips.

"Good morning," she told him before she leaned to kiss his lips.

"Good morning," he answered when she drew back. "What time is it?"

"About nine."

"Wow. I haven't slept this late since…"

"Not today." She covered his lips with a finger. "Clark, last night was wonderful."

He grinned at her, somewhat pleased with himself. "It was. Sometimes I forget…" He stopped and sat straight up. "I forgot."

"Forgot what?" Lois was a little worried by his reaction.

"You know, forgot. We didn't take precautions."

"Oh." Lois shifted and looked across the room.

"And last time when we didn't, we seemed to hit the target fairly easily."

Lois tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before she slid to the edge of the bed. She reached for her robe, not able to stamp down the disappointment at Clark's reaction to their neglect of birth control the night before. Intelligently she knew they didn't need another complication right now, but emotionally her heart didn't agree. She'd be ecstatic to carry another child of Clark's.

"Lois?"

"No. You're right. I didn't think. The only thing on my mind last night was you. I'm sorry." She had risen and was walking to the dressing table to brush her hair.

Clark heard the disappointment in her voice. He eased out of bed and slipped on his shorts before going to kneel beside her. "Lois, baby, tell me what's wrong." His hand reached out to hold her free hand.

She let her brush stop and took a deep breath. "I don't take birth control. There was no need. The only man I ever wanted to sleep with again was gone."

Clark's eyes widened at that. "There hasn't been…"

"There was no one, Clark." She looked down at him. "My heart wouldn't allow me to do something like that."

"It would have been okay."

"Not in here," she told him with a hand over her heart.

Clark's heart swelled even more for this woman. "So, what's wrong? Why did you leave the bed?"

"If I'd stayed, we would have been in trouble. We still don't have any protection."

Clark was momentarily confused. His face burned a little with her admission even after their night together. He was about to reply when the meaning of what she said hit him. His eyes snapped to hers.

"You don't think that I wouldn't want our baby, do you?" When she lowered her gaze from his, he rushed to reassure her. "Lois, I was thinking of both of us. Do we really need to add something like that to everything else right now? Honey, I've just started to heal after being locked away so long. Right now I'm not sure I'm fit enough to be Clark's father... or even fit enough to... to live with you."

She met his gaze again. "I know you're right, but for a moment…" She looked down in embarrassment. "It just felt a little painful that you might not want something like that."

"Something like that? Baby, we've already made a beautiful son."

"But?"

"But…" He looked into her eyes, his own confusion reflected back to him and he made a decision a second later. He stood and lifted her in his arms. When he settled with her on the bed, he finally whispered, "But nothing." A gentle hand came up to caress her face. "I've been gone far too long. I *want* you, our son, and a life together. We'll work everything out just like you said. And if you get pregnant, then I'll have one more person to love. Besides, it would be really wonderful to take care of you and help bring our baby in the world... together." His voice had been a soft whisper and it brought tears to Lois' eyes. Clark leaned forward and initiated a passionate kiss. Just as he'd done several times the night before, Clark made love to Lois… without taking a single precaution.

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Clark Jr. contented himself with his conversation with Edward. The faithful assistant had come to see Conner. Unfortunately, the man in question was locked away inside his mom's bedroom. The boy couldn't be happier. Clark had told him the day before how much he loved his mother and how she'd kept him alive through the dark years. There had been a silent prayer then that his parents would end up back together again, although it appeared they had never really been apart.

The boy and man turned when they heard happy voices coming from the hall. Clark and Lois were laughing softly when they stepped into the kitchen. Both stopped when they saw the two before them.

"Good morning," Clark Jr. told his parents. "Sleep well?"

Clark couldn't stop the grin spreading across his face. He stepped forward and lifted the boy into the air. "Yeah, wise guy. We slept very well."

"Uh huh," he said laughingly.

Clark threw the boy over his shoulder effortlessly before turning to Edward. "Good morning, Edward. Isn't it a lovely morning?" Clark's grin widened at the man's puzzled expression. "I'm sorry, I guess there are a few things I need to discuss with you."

"Only if you wish to, sir."

Clark patted his son's bottom before lowering him to the floor. He settled at the table and began to tell Edward an abridged version of his story. Needless to say the man was surprised.

"Edward, when all this is over, we will find a place for you here at Port Royal," Lois told him.

"What of the Devon estate?"

Clark leaned on his elbows where he rested them on the table. "The manor in Maine will be turned into a home for children. I want to use some of the money to further the efforts of the Superman Foundation, some to make sure Luthor's business is completely shut down, and the rest to make sure nothing like this ever happens again… to anyone."

The assistant nodded slowly.

"There are provisions that allow for me, as Clark Kent, to take control of the estate. I'll be happy to show them to you. Travis knew exactly who I was and at some point down the road I will probably be ready to take control as myself. For right now, I will be helping Lois and Agent Scardino to gather evidence against Luthor and getting to know my family again."

Edward squared his shoulders and smiled at Clark. "I will help you."

"Good."

The man smiled over at Clark Jr. "It is very nice to meet you, Master Kent."

"You, too. My dad's told me a lot about you."

"Your dad spared me from having to return to sea in order to make a living. I will be forever grateful."

Clark smiled up at his father before looking back at Edward. "Thanks for taking care of him for me."

"You're welcome," Edward told the boy before rising. "I must attend to business now. We proceed with the take-over as planned?"

"Yes."

"Very good." Edward smiled and turned to go. "Nice meeting you, Miss Lane," he told Lois as he passed her.

"You, too." She looked back at Clark, who was already in a battle with Clark Jr. They were wrestling and laughing happily. "I like him."

"Yep," he agreed without stopping his battle. "He's okay." Clark pulled the smaller Clark against his chest and started tickling him. "Say uncle."

"Nope! I'd rather say DADDY!"

Clark stopped his assault on the small body he held, then very slowly lowered him to his lap. "I, ah, I think I like hearing it."

Clark Jr. smiled up at his daddy. "So, *Daddy*, did you and Mom… talk last night?"

Clark stared open mouthed at the boy. "And what business is it of yours?" he asked as Clark Jr. eased from his lap to retake his seat.

The boy turned fully to his dad to answer him. "Well, up until yesterday I was the man of the house. I have the right to know if someone is making plays on my mother." He crossed his arms over his chest and shot Clark a stern glare.

Clark laughed out loud. "If you had a suit, you'd look just like a miniature Superman."

Clark Jr. smiled but didn't relax his stance. "Don't change the subject, mister."

Clark held up his hands in defeat. "Clark, I told your mom I loved her and she asked me to come stay with you guys."

"Way to go, Dad!" He dropped his arms and jumped onto his father's lap. "You best be good to her or you'll answer to me."

"Yes sir." Clark ruffled his hair. "You need a haircut."

"So do you."

"You're right. I do. Tell you what, as soon as Dan tells us he has the warrant for Luthor, we'll get a haircut."

"Deal." He smiled and shoved a buttered roll into his father's mouth off the plate Lois had just set in front of them. "Will you do my lessons with me today?"

"Sure," Clark mumbled around a mouthful of bread. "We need to put away those clothes we bought you yesterday, too."

"Got it." He took a bite of his food before shoving a fork full into Clark's mouth. "And tonight, we get to have Kent-mas."

"What's that?"

"It's a celebration to welcome you home. Mom told me a long time ago that if by some miracle you were to come home, we could celebrate. Just us and Grandma and Grandpa. It'll be hard to find a tree so we'll decorate the artificial plant in the living room. We have gifts and ornaments and videos and pictures… all for you."

"Really?"

"Uh huh. And we can take our shoes off and sit on the floor and talk and just be happy you're home."

Clark's smile faded. "Up until two days ago, when I found out about you, I was convinced I'd never be able to come home again. There's still so far to go…"

"How about we agree to take it one day at the time?" Lois told him softly.

"I can do that," Clark assured her.

"Good." She smiled brightly before turning back to her breakfast, triumphant and very pleased.

Clark was also pleased, and amused. He wanted to stay as much as Lois wanted him to. He knew there was so much he still had to deal with, but Lois was right. If he took things slowly, one day at a time, with his family by his side, he'd make it back to where he could respect himself again.

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tbc...